Whether you made a mistake, someone else wasn't as kind as they could have been, or things just didn't work out, there's a lot to be said for having the ability to bounce back from life's many adversities.

In fact, there's a lot of evidence that what distinguishes people who get mired in frustration and a sense of victimhood from people who turn lemons into lemonade is this sense of resilience and perseverance to dust off the past. 

Meditations 8.40 states If thou takest away thy opinion about that which appears to give thee pain, thou thyself standest in perfect security.- Who is this self?- The reason.- But I am not reason.- Be it so. Let then the reason itself not trouble itself. But if any other part of thee suffers, let it have its own opinion about itself.

If life has been a struggle lately with a lot of downs and not many ups, it can make you feel helpless. But you have to understand that YOU are the only one who can change this. It is nobody else’s fault or responsibility, since the only one in control of your life, is you. If you want to stop feeling like this, you need to come to some realizations and stop with the toxic behavioral patterns.

Moral Letters 58.27 states Such things are therefore imaginary, and though they for the moment present a certain external appearance, yet they are in no case permanent or substantial; none the less, we crave them as if they were always to exist, or as if we were always to possess them.

We are weak, watery beings standing in the midst of unrealities; therefore let us turn our minds to the things that are everlasting. Let us look up to the ideal outlines of all things, that flit about on high, and to the God who moves among them and plans how he may defend from death that which he could not make imperishable because its substance forbade, and so by reason may overcome the defects of the body.

Dealing with fear is not the same as having no fear. You will never successfully eliminate fear from your life, but you can learn to cope with your angst and even use it to your advantage when necessary. Fear, after all, is a biological mechanism, designed to alert us to impending danger. 

Because our modern lives lack much of the physical threat that our prehistoric ancestors faced, our apprehensions today have evolved to encompass so much more than bodily harm or scarcity of resources.

Meditations 10.12 states What need is there of suspicious fear, since it is in thy power to inquire what ought to be done? And if thou seest clear, go by this way content, without turning back: but if thou dost not see clear, stop and take the best advisers. But if any other things oppose thee, go on according to thy powers with due consideration, keeping to that which appears to be just. For it is best to reach this object, and if thou dost fail, let thy failure be in attempting this. He who follows reason in all things is both tranquil and active at the same time, and also cheerful and collected.

You have enough to deal with in your life when it comes from outside sources, so the last thing you should be dealing with are obstacles you created yourself. 

Discourses 2.9. 2-3 Take care, then, to do nothing like a wild beast; otherwise you have destroyed the man; you have not fulfilled what your nature promises. Take care too, to do nothing like cattle; for thus likewise the man is destroyed. In what do we act like cattle?

When we act gluttonously, lewdly, rashly, sordidly, inconsiderately, into what are we sunk? Into cattle. What have we destroyed? The rational being.

Self-sabotage is much more common than people think, and is often so subtle that you don’t really you are doing it. 

Your mindset is all about how you think about things, from being positive and optimistic, to having faith in your own abilities. People who constantly complain and whine about how nothing is working out for them usually has a negative mindset. 

Meditations 12.25 states Cast away opinion: thou art saved. Who then hinders thee from casting it away?

Don’t use this as an excuse to not work hard and get the life you want.   

Do you feel like you are someone who just isn’t courageous? If so, you are only lying to yourself. Courage is not a natural trait. It is all about being afraid to do something, but doing it anyway. It is something everyone is capable of having, if you are willing to accept the potential consequences of what could happen. 

Moral Letters 13.6-7 states Do me the favour, when men surround you and try to talk you into believing that you are unhappy, to consider not what you hear but what you yourself feel, and to take counsel with your feelings and question yourself independently, because you know your own affairs better than anyone else does. Ask: "Is there any reason why these persons should condole with me? Why should they be worried or even fear some infection from me, as if troubles could be transmitted? Is there any evil involved, or is it a matter merely of ill report, rather than an evil?" Put the question voluntarily to yourself: "Am I tormented without sufficient reason, am I morose, and do I convert what is not an evil into what is an evil?". You may retort with the question: "How am I to know whether my sufferings are real or imaginary?" Here is the rule for such matters: We are tormented either by things present, or by things to come, or by both. As to things present, the decision is easy. Suppose that your person enjoys freedom and health, and that you do not suffer from any external injury. As to what may happen to it in the future, we shall see later on. To-day there is nothing wrong with it.

There are different ways to find your inner courage and get out of your comfort zone 

If you are constantly blaming others or life’s circumstances for your troubles and difficulties, then you may have a victim mentality. A victim mentality or mindset is a psychological term, referring to a mindset which consistently feels persecuted, often to avoid personal responsibility or to gain attention from others. Those with this habit of mind consistently believe that life is beyond their personal control and often feel that others, and even life in general, are “out to get them.”  

When living with a victim mentality, your behavior may often include blaming others, pointing fingers, engaging in self-pity, and feeling overly fearful, pessimistic, or angry. When you live your life as a victim, you are always unhappy but refuse to accept responsibility for the events of your life.

Discourses 4.6.1 states It vexes me, say you, to be pitied. Is this your affair, then, or theirs who pity you? And further, how is it in your power to prevent it? “It is, if I show them that I do not need pity.” But are you now in such a condition as not to need pity, or are you not? “I think I am. But these people do not pity me for what, if anything, would deserve pity, my faults; but for poverty, and want of power, and sicknesses, and deaths, and other things of that kind.

Stress has always been a part of our lives. It is but a common occurrence for people to hear someone complain of how stressful his life had been in the school, in the workplace, or even with his family. This situation happens everywhere regardless of race, nationality, status in life, or level of education attained. Stress is just there clinging to us wherever we go, and we can’t merely disregard this sad truth.

We must remember that in whatever we do, there are just some inevitable factors that cause pressure and anxiety to us. On the other hand, there are those that we can control. We must therefore be sensible enough to differentiate the two so that we do not end up wasting our time, effort, money and abilities on matters that we can’t change.

Meditations 12.22 states Consider that everything is opinion, and opinion is in thy power. Take away then, when thou choosest, thy opinion, and like a mariner, who has doubled the promontory, thou wilt find calm, everything stable, and a waveless bay.

We are often overwhelmed with all we have to do in life. We all have obligations and responsibilities that shape our actions. Despite our best efforts, a sense of idleness and lethargy cab creep in to routines and negatively impact our productivity.  

Fortunately, this mentality happens to everyone at some point and time. There is a certain level of disengagement that causes us to lose focus and motivation. A proactive approach is needed to overcome this. Stoicism can be a source of being proactive.  

Discourses 2.5.4 states Life too, this is the chief business, to consider and discriminate things; and say, “Externals are not in my power; choice is.

Taking responsibility for your actions is the way to improve overall personal life. When you take control of your actions, you are putting bad habits behind you and moving forward down a new highway. At the end of the highway, you will find happiness.

Responsibility is a good thing. Sometimes we make mistakes. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as you learn from these mistakes. You are a human being and will make mistakes for the rest of your life. Mistakes is a part of life, you will have to face.

Meditations 10.4 states “Everything which happens either happens in such wise as thou art formed by nature to bear it, or as thou art not formed by nature to bear it. If, then, it happens to thee in such way as thou art formed by nature to bear it, do not complain, but bear it as thou art formed by nature to bear it. But if it happens in such wise as thou art not formed by nature to bear it, do not complain, for it will perish after it has consumed thee. Remember, however, that thou art formed by nature to bear everything, with respect to which it depends on thy own opinion to make it endurable and tolerable, by thinking that it is either thy interest or thy duty to do this.”