The Struggle

I spent years trying to optimize my productivity, routines and future until I realized I was becoming incapable of actually enjoying the present.

In Episode 82 of The Struggle, I explore what my obsession with productivity taught me about time, presence and the strange difference between experiencing your life and remembering it.

After living in Edinburgh for 30 years, I recently moved home, country and job. Having my routines completely disrupted forced me to notice just how much of my life had become dictated by to-do lists, optimization and some future version of myself. I talk about an afternoon with a friend that I barely appreciated while it was happening, only to desperately want to return to it the following day and what Daniel Kahneman and Jason Riis’s distinction between the experiencing self and remembering self might tell us about why this happens. How much of our present are we willing to trade for future success? And do we need a huge life event — moving, a breakup, illness or loss — before we’re willing to seriously reevaluate the lives we’re living?

If you enjoy conversations about psychology, philosophy, self-development and the struggles that shape our lives, subscribe to The Struggle. What would make you seriously reevaluate your life without waiting for something to force you to? Let me know below.

References

Kahneman, Daniel & Jason Riis (2005) — Living, and Thinking About It: Two Perspectives on Life, in The Science of Well-Being. Experiencing self vs remembering self Experienced vs evaluated well-being How memory can differ from moment-to-moment experience

Thomas Sowell — “There are no solutions, only trade-offs.” Used in relation to the trade-offs we make between present experience and future achievement.

Chris Williamson — End of Year Review Personal reflection exercise for evaluating the previous year and considering changes for the future.

Tim Ferriss — Fear-Setting Reflection exercise for identifying fears, considering their consequences and evaluating the cost of inaction.

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#productivity #SelfImprovement #TheStruggle

What if everything you've been told about success, productivity and self-improvement is making you less happy?

In Episode 81 of The Struggle, I sit down with bestselling author, speaker and former teacher Gavin Oattes for one of the most honest conversations I've ever recorded.

We discuss:

• Why the self-improvement industry may be making people more anxious
• Gavin's devastating nervous breakdown and the lessons that followed
• ADHD, anxiety and why so many adults feel overwhelmed
• The hidden cost of chasing success
• Why children seem happier than adults
• Social media, comparison and the pressure to optimise everything
• How "glimmers" can transform your mental wellbeing
• Why the smallest moments often matter most
• Learning to have a good day instead of chasing a perfect life

If you've ever felt burnt out, stuck, anxious or like you're constantly chasing the next achievement, this conversation is for you.

If you enjoy conversations about psychology, philosophy, wellbeing and personal growth, subscribe for a new episode of The Struggle every week.

💬 Let me know in the comments:

What's one small thing that genuinely brings you joy?

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Follow Gavin Oattes

Website: https://gavinoattes.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gavoattes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gavinoattes/

Find Gavin’s books including his latest Confidently Lost here: https://uk.bookshop.org/beta-search?keywords=Gavin+oattes

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Email - [email protected]

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References

Burkeman, O. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Cope, A. The Art of Being Brilliant

Oattes, G. Confidently Lost

Oattes, G. Life Will See You Now

Porges, S. W. The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation

Seligman, M. E. P. Helplessness: On Depression, Development, and Death

Seligman, M. E. P. Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being

Ware, B. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

#podcast #mentalhealth #selfimprovement #psychology #adhd #anxiety #happiness

Why do we keep repeating behaviours we know are bad for us?

In this episode of The Struggle, I’m joined by Dr Sarah Caddy to explore The Chimp Model, developed by Professor Steve Peters, and how it explains self-sabotage, emotional reactions, bad habits, social media scrolling, motivation, discipline, anxiety, and why we so often feel at war with ourselves.

We discuss the three “teams” in the mind — the Chimp, Human and Computer — and how understanding them can help us manage emotions, change habits, stop relying on willpower, and become more compassionate toward ourselves.

This conversation covers:

Why your emotional brain reacts faster than your rational brain

How habits form in the “computer” Why motivation is unreliable

How to manage social media scrolling and instant gratification

Why self-sabotage is normal but unhelpful The importance of naming emotions

How to build a “human-led, chimp-friendly” plan

Why looking after yourself is not selfish

How to stop beating yourself up and start changing properly

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I keep doing this when I know better?” — this episode is for you.

Find Out More About The Chimp Model Here - https://chimpmanagement.com

Books mentioned:

The Chimp Paradox — Prof Steve Peters A Path Through the Jungle — Prof Steve Peters

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A former NASA astronomer explains what time REALLY is and why everything you believe about it might be wrong.

From relativity to free will, this conversation will change how you see reality forever.

In Episode 79 of The Struggle, I sit down with former NASA astronomer Sten Odenwald to explore one of the most mind-bending questions in existence:

What is time?

We break down:

- Why there is no universal “now”

- The difference between subjective time and physical time

- How relativity proves time isn’t what we think

- Whether time travel is actually possible

- The relationship between time and free will

- Why the future may not be predetermined

- What happens to time at the Big Bang

- Why time might not even exist inside atoms

This is one of the most fascinating conversations I’ve ever had — and one that will genuinely change how you think about your life.

The Essential Book Of Time by Sten Odenwald Is Now Available In Most Book Shops

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If you enjoyed this, subscribe for more conversations on psychology, philosophy, and breaking free from limitation.

#time #nasa #physics #philosophy #freewill #relativity #podcast

What makes someone truly disciplined? In this episode of The Struggle, I sit down with Diren Kartal to talk about productivity, resilience, fatherhood, coaching, discipline, handling failure, building a business, and why success means more than money.

Diren shares how growing up in East London shaped his mindset, why hearing “no” made him mentally bulletproof, what young men need to hear more of, how to deal with negativity online, and why family, purpose, health, and self-awareness matter more than clout.

We also talk about:

how struggle can build resilience

why progress isn’t loud when you’re living it

social media, influence, and bringing real value

the “freedom fallacy” and chasing peace in the future

morning routines, fatherhood, and enjoying the simple things

what it really takes to build something meaningful over years

If you’re trying to build a better life, become more disciplined, get fitter, think more clearly, or create something meaningful, this conversation is for you.

Follow Diren Kartal on Instagram

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#DirenKartal #Discipline #SelfImprovement #Productivity #Fatherhood #Masculinity #Mindset #Success #Resilience #TheStrugglePodcast

Louis Theroux’s new documentary Inside the Manosphere has sparked huge debate — but I think it reveals something much bigger about masculinity, social media, and the crisis facing young men.

In this episode of The Struggle, I give my honest reaction to the Netflix documentary, discussing figures like Myron Gaines, the rise of manosphere influencers, and the deeper cultural forces behind the phenomenon. While the rhetoric in the documentary is often disturbing and misogynistic, the wider issue is far more complex. Why are young men drawn to this content? What role do social media algorithms play? And why does the conversation around men’s issues so often become polarised?

This episode explores:

• Louis Theroux’s Inside the Manosphere

• The rise of manosphere influencers

• Myron Gaines and Fresh & Fit

• Why young men are drawn to this content

• The impact on relationships and society

• Why the conversation around masculinity has become so polarised

This is an unscripted reaction episode discussing statements made in the documentary and exploring the wider cultural conversation around masculinity, social media, and identity.

🎙 Subscribe for weekly conversations on psychology, philosophy, and the struggle to live a meaningful life. Thumbnail image: promotional image from Inside the Manosphere (Netflix).

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#manosphere #louisstheroux #masculinity #podcast #psychology

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John McClarey joins me on Episode 77 of The Struggle to talk about building Business Fives from scratch, what it really takes to grow a business over years, and what happened behind the scenes before stepping into Dragon’s Den.

We talk about:

how he started the business in 2016

taking action before things feel perfect

productivity, prioritisation, and focus time

the 1-2-3 / 1-3-5 framework

Getting Things Done and the 2-minute rule

the full Dragon’s Den application and pitch process

public speaking, preparation, and pressure

motivation vs dedication

meditation, journaling, breathwork, and morning routines and entrepreneurship is actually like behind the scenes.

If you’re interested in entrepreneurship, self-development, productivity, mindset, Dragon’s Den, or building something meaningful, this episode is for you.

Guest: John McClarey
Podcast: The Struggle with Gregor Thomson

Subscribe for more conversations on psychology, philosophy, ambition, discipline, freedom, and building a meaningful life.

#DragonsDen #Entrepreneurship #Productivity #BusinessPodcast #SelfDevelopment

References mentioned in this episode

The Lean Startup — Eric Ries

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less — Greg McKeown

Getting Things Done / GTD — David Allen

The Miracle Morning — Hal Elrod

Miracle Morning Millionaires — Hal Elrod, David Osborn, Honoree Corder

Tools of Titans — Tim Ferriss

Insight Timer — meditation app mentioned by John McClarey

Dragon’s Den — BBC television series

Business Fives — John McClarey’s business

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Is the wellness industry replacing religion? And is our obsession with self-improvement actually making us more anxious?

In Episode 75 of The Struggle Podcast, author and journalist Brigid Delaney joins Gregor Thomson to explore Stoicism, ambition, journaling, alcohol, modern anxiety, and what she calls the “freedom fallacy” — the belief that peace and happiness only arrive once we succeed.

We discuss:

• Why Stoicism is misunderstood as emotionless or masculine

• How the wellness industry became a new form of spirituality

• The danger of ambition and hustle culture

• Why moderation beats extreme self-discipline

• Alcohol, connection, and social health

• Journaling as a Stoic practice

• Why freedom and success never feel as good as we expect

• How ancient philosophy applies to modern burnout Brigid explains how Stoicism helped reshape her life after exploring the trillion-dollar wellness industry — and why philosophy should be a “street practice” for everyone, not just academics.

This episode is for anyone struggling with:

• Anxiety and overthinking

• Burnout and ambition

• Self-help overload

• Feeling stuck in the future instead of living now

🎧 Listen if you’re interested in Stoicism, philosophy, psychology, wellness culture, journaling, or living a meaningful life.

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About The Struggle Podcast: The Struggle explores psychology, philosophy, and modern life — honest conversations about ambition, suffering, freedom, and what it really means to live well.

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Books & Thinkers Mentioned

Marcus Aurelius – Meditations

Seneca – Letters from a Stoic

Epictetus – Enchiridion

Brigid Delaney – Reasons Not to Worry, Wellmania, The Seeker and the Sage

Donna Zuckerberg – Not All Dead White Men

David Foster Wallace – This Is Water

Oliver Burkeman – Four Thousand Weeks

Most of us feel trapped between two voices:

One telling us to work harder, achieve more, and sacrifice now…

And another telling us to slow down and enjoy life before it’s too late.

In this episode of The Struggle podcast, I explore what I call The Freedom Fallacy — the belief that freedom only exists in the future once success is achieved.

This episode breaks down:

• What the Freedom Fallacy really is

• Why it appears in the “messy middle” of any ambitious project

• The psychological cost of postponing life

• How to struggle toward freedom without burning out

• Why presence, joy, and rest are not distractions but part of the journey

This is not a productivity hack.

It’s a lens for living.

If you’re working hard for a better future but feel like you’re missing your life right now, this episode is for you.

⸻

🎧 Topics covered:

Freedom vs struggle

Burnout and regret

Delayed gratification

Meaning and purpose

Ambition and presence

Psychology of motivation

If this resonated with you, subscribe for weekly episodes exploring psychology, philosophy, and the struggle for a meaningful life.

“The answer lies in the struggle.”

Conceptual influences (not quoted):

• Viktor Frankl – Man’s Search for Meaning (meaning through struggle)

• Friedrich Nietzsche – “He who has a why…”

• Carl Jung – individuation and psychological tension

• Cal Newport – Deep Work / burnout & meaningful effort

• Oliver Burkeman – Four Thousand Weeks (time and life balance)

• Zach Talender – “Space Cadet” metaphor (credit clearly as inspiration)

• Self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan) –autonomy, competence, relatedness

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Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list?

If productivity keeps leading to burnout, guilt, and never feeling like you’ve done enough — this episode will change how you plan your day.

In Episode 73 of The Struggle, I break down a self-compassionate productivity framework that replaces shame, overworking, and endless task lists with clarity, sustainability, and calm — without sacrificing progress.

You’ll learn:

 • Why “doing more” actually causes burnout

 • How guilt and shame sabotage productivity

 • A simple daily framework to reduce overwhelm

 • How to know when to rest and when to push

 • Why discipline without self-awareness leads to collapse

This episode is for you if:

 • You feel like a failure at the end of most days

 • You’re exhausted by self-improvement culture

 • Rest feels unproductive or undeserved

 • You want consistency without burnout

This isn’t about doing less — it’s about doing what matters, in alignment with how you actually feel.

📌 Subscribe or follow for grounded, evidence-based conversations on productivity, self-compassion, psychology, and meaning.

The answer lies in the struggle — so keep on struggling.

This episode reflects personal experience and interpretation of existing research and literature and is not intended as medical advice.

References

McKeown, G. (2014). Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. Crown Business.

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