It’s been a minute.

Not because I ran out of things to say — but because cancelling a $30 subscription felt like more effort than just… continuing the podcast.

So here we are.

This episode starts with a late-night ambush: a suitcase, a dark hallway, and a pinky toe that didn’t stand a chance. Pain was experienced. Screaming was suppressed. Sympathy was not received.

From there, things spiral exactly how you’d expect.

I get into why minor injuries are objectively funny (within reason), the unspoken rule of just owning it when you hurt yourself, and then somehow transition into one of my biggest pet peeves:

“Anyways.”

It’s not a word. Stop saying it.

Also — why does everyone say “I’m good” now? What happened to “I’m well”? I don’t even know if I’m right anymore, but it bothers me anyway.

Somewhere in the middle of all that:

• Thoughts about nurses’ shoes and how they survive that much walking

• Why security guards might have superhuman backs

• A deep appreciation for Conor Price and actual talent

• And which famous people I’d genuinely want to be friends with

It’s random. It’s all over the place.