We can sit so comfortably, thinking we would never fall for one of these scams. But intelligence is not the deciding factor - it is vulnerability.
Manti Te’o was an established public figure when it was revealed that his dead girlfriend was actually alive. This is important because it was a much-reported sports story that year, both that his girlfriend had died and later, that she didn’t die. In fact, it was someone pretending to be a woman online and he had never met her.
The term “catfishing” came into popular consciousness all at once. People thought it was ridiculous that a leading athlete from a prestigious school would be tricked by someone online. Now, we know better. At the time, no one had heard of something like that.
Manti Te’o was roundly mocked. That must have been tough. He kept his positive, constructive attitude in the aftermath of the exposure, and it was really impressive to watch in Netflix’s UNTOLD: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist, a documentary on the incident. Te’o told of kids asking to have his photo and then making fun of him for the catfishing incident. But he described that maybe one of those kids were sincere, so he kept agreeing to the photos.
My interest in this case is the build-up to the con.
Manti Te’o was from a large Seventh Day Adventist family in Hawaii. He chose to play football for Notre Dame, a Catholic university in cold and snowy Indiana. It was a good strategic move for his football career, but did not account for the emotional toll of culture shock, isolation and weather.
Added to that was the pressure Notre Dame put on the teenager to revive its football program. There was millions of dollars at stake for the university. And Manti Te’o carried the weight of it successfully. In terms of football, that is.
Personally, he was isolated, without the support of his extended family and church. He was not only in the cold and snow, the religious and social culture were radically different than what he was used to.
Apparently, no one a Notre Dame football thought of any of these things, leaving their football hero - and rescuer - vulnerable.
Because that is the point of this analysis: Manti Te’o was vulnerable.
And That’s Why It Could Happen To You
Every one of us has vulnerable times. After the death of a loved one, illness or moving to a new place, a human being is more likely to make decisions they later come to regret. That applies to every human on the planet.
It was during this time of immense pressure, loneliness and culture shock that Manti Te’o started talking to what he thought was a girl on Facebook. It wasn’t. It was a young man from Hawaii. The chats developed into romance. The rest is history.
Notre Dame did nothing to support this teen who propped up their image and starred on their football team. This is as much a story about using a young athlete, dumping institution-sized expectations on him, and then leaving him to rot when the made-for-tv-fantasy breaks down.
Think about a time when you moved to a new place, far from anyone you knew, and how that felt. Maybe you were young and the environment was unfamiliar. Or you suffered a loss and were still in a daze. No one is thinking clearly at times like those. Not anyone on Earth.
Manti Te’o is a story about all of us - reaching out for help sideways, inappropriately, unsuccessfully, desperately in times of stress. Because that’s what we humans do.
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