The Thinking Horse and Rider: Helping Riders Understand Their Horses | Anna Fox

Why Your Horse Won’t Try Anymore

In this episode of Come Ride With Me, we’re flipping the script on rider perfectionism and taking a hard look at how our need to control every moment — in and out of the saddle — can shut down our horse’s ability to think, learn, and self-regulate.

From micromanagement to mistake-shaming, we explore why so many domestic horses struggle with emotional resilience and how riders may unknowingly create defensive, shutdown, or “difficult” behaviors through pressure and overcorrection.

You’ll learn:

• Why obedience isn’t the same as confidence

• How frustration and fear of punishment affect your horse’s brain

• What behavior science and equine neuroscience (including Dr. Steve Peters’ work) reveal about learning under pressure

• Simple ways to rebuild trust and offer your horse the space to think again

If you’ve ever wondered why your horse seems hesitant, anxious, or like they’ve stopped trying altogether — this episode is for you.

✨ Let go of perfection. Reclaim your partnership. And make room for a curious, thinking horse again.

🎧 Listen now.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Join me at a live clinic in VA September 28, 2025 https://clinics.equusenlightened.net/s/clinic-participant-flow-lgop

Happy Riding!

Obedience might get a response—but real partnership comes from dialogue.

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to have a conversation with your horse. Anna shares the origin story of her “3 Questions That Build Partnership”—softness, responsiveness, and alignment—and how they can transform the way you ride, train, and connect.

You’ll hear a personal story about Gus, the amazing horse who taught Anna that doing everything “right” isn’t always enough. She also draws on her experience as a 911 dispatcher to explain why asking questions—not barking commands—is the key to getting the clearest, safest, most effective response from your horse.

🎧 Plus, you’ll get this week’s experiment: a guided reflection to help you explore one of the 3 Partnership Questions in your next ride.

📝 Download the free Conversation Starter Experiment journal page.

🎯 Take the Perfectionist Rider Quiz and get a bonus mini-series of calming, connection-based exercises.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage:Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the DressageNaturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen toall of them on YouTube. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

In this episode of Come Ride With Me, I combine two powerful experiments—“Find the Rhythm” and “Make It Messy”—to show how letting go of control actually creates more clarity in the saddle. You’ll ride along with me and Namastee as we explore how to feel what’s happening, respond without overcorrecting, and use messy moments to build better communication.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting a perfect ride and not wanting to micromanage your horse, this one’s for you.

✨ Let it be messy. Let it be real. Let it be progress.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

 Why Force Fails and Feel Wins

Control might feel like safety, but in the saddle, it’s often one of the little things holding you—and your horse—back. In this episode of Come Ride With Me, Anna Fox of Equus Enlightened unpacks the sneaky ways force shows up in riding (hint: it’s not just harsh bits or whips). We’ll explore how perfectionism drives us to override instead of ride with, and why force—even when it’s subtle—creates resistance and anxiety.

Plus, you’ll get a feel-based riding experiment you can try today to shift from bracing into flow. Learn how to sync with your horse’s rhythm and soften the silent tension that’s blocking connection.

Because when you trade control for curiosity, you unlock a whole new kind of ride.

🎧 Ready to let go and ride with feel? Hit play.

🔗 Take the “Perfectionist Rider” quiz at: https://link.equusenlightened.com/widget/quiz/gSHHFApTgfne26EonbkF

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

In this episode of Come Ride With Me, we’re throwing perfectionism out of the saddle and riding straight into the messy, beautiful truth: your horse doesn’t want you to be perfect—they want you to be present.

Host Anna Fox explores how horses, in their natural state, model emotional regulation, alignment, and presence without judgment or pressure. We dive into why so much of the traditional horse world runs on outdated, fear-based systems—and how embracing imperfection can free both you and your horse.

You’ll also get this week’s experiment: Make It Messy—a bold exercise in letting go of compensation patterns and learning to feel crookedness before you fix it.

Whether you’re stuck in “shoulds,” burnt out from over-trying, or just ready to feel more you in the saddle, this episode invites you to drop the pressure and reconnect with what riding was always meant to be: a relationship.

🧠 Listen in and let the mess be the message.

🐴 Then head back to Season 1 for deeper insights into leading, following, and building the freely forward horse.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

Why forcing the perfect response from your horse might be the very thing holding you both back.

Ever feel like the harder you try to ride correctly, the more your horse resists—or delays their response altogether?

In this episode of Come Ride With Me, we’re digging into the learning science behind latency—that hidden gap between cue and response—and how perfectionism in the saddle can actually slow your horse’s learning (and yours too).

I’ll walk you through a simple experiment you can try today with your horse to test how your energy and intention affect timing, clarity, and flow.

Spoiler alert: it’s not about riding less.

It’s about trying less hard.

🎧 Ready to turn tension into timing magic?

Let’s ride.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

What do McDonald's and Smartphones have in common? Speed! Why does that matter? Speed is important in the learning process and as a perfectionist, your speed might be hurting you and your horse's learning curve.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

This is a follow-up to the weekly experiment in episode one. You can also watch the video on YouTube.

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

Take the Are You a Perfectionist Quiz? at www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

 this episode of Come Ride With Me, Anna Fox dives into the hidden pressures of perfectionism in the equestrian world. She explores how the relentless pursuit of “getting it right” creates tension and stress, both for the rider and the horse. Anna shares her personal experiences with perfectionism and explains how it can lead to burnout, disconnection, and frustration in your riding journey.

She also offers practical insights on how to identify perfectionist tendencies, why they block progress, and how letting go of rigid expectations can help you build a stronger, more joyful connection with your horse. Tune in to discover how shifting from perfectionism to flow can transform your riding—and your relationship with your horse.

For those of you interested in videos of the podcast, there are some up on YouTube. My channel is Equus Enlightened.

Find out more about Equus Enlightened at www.equusenlightened.com or on social media as @equusenlightened.  Join our Facebook group titled Horse-First Dressage: Compassionate Training and Connection or join the community and the Dressage Naturally Video Classroom at www.patreon.com/equusenlightened.

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!