Thriving?

What does thriving as a single person look like? 

I have been writing and podcasting for the last year about how to thrive as a single person. Hopefully, you have found these blog posts and podcast episodes helpful.

To begin this year, I want to get back to basics. I want to start this week by defining what it means to thrive as a single person and giving you a few tips on how to get there. So, what does a thriving single life look like? Let me paint that picture for you.

You Don’t Feel Pressured to Marry

A thriving single does not feel pressured to get married. That is not to say that people don’t try to pressure you. It means that you have become immune to the pressure that society and your friends and family try to put on you. You will get married if and when you decide you want to.

How to Get There

You get to that point by becoming complete within yourself and not being needy. If you are financially stable, emotionally strong, and you have your sex drive under control, what’s the rush to get married? If in the course of getting to know people you find one you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you’ll get married. You’ll marry because it’s what you want, not because of external or internal pressure.

If you are feeling pressured, my post about dealing with the pressure to date might be helpful.

You Date as Often as You Like

Some people like to go out a lot. Others are more introverted and don’t need as much interaction. But, to be healthy as a single person, I believe it is important to spend some purposeful, quality time with people of the opposite sex.

Learning to relate to people of the opposite sex is essential to thriving as a single person. I believe it’s also an essential part of finding a spouse if marriage is something you desire.

How To Get There

There are two sides to this. If you are feeling pressure to date and aren’t ready to or just have zero desire to, check out the post I referenced above. It may be time to give some people in your life a little “just stop it” therapy.

On the other hand, most singles have the opposite problem. If you do want to go on more dates and can’t seem to make that happen, there are things you can do. Doing the same things you have been doing will get the same results you have been getting. Basically, if you want different results, change some things.

Change your self. Grow as a person. Become whole and confident. Start exercising. Read more. Dress better. Make yourself into that interesting, attractive person that the kind of person you would want to marry would be interested in.

Change your perspective on dating. Rethink why you want to date, what the purpose of dating is, and what kind of people you want to go out on dates with.

Change where you look. Maybe clubs and bars aren’t the places to find the kind of people who are worth marrying or even spending time with. Maybe you need to go to the places where the kind of people worth dating go.

For more on those things check out this post and this post.

You Are Growing as a Person

Thriving as a single person begins with thriving as a person. It begins with growing into the person you want to be. As Andy Stanley taught me, become the person the person you are looking for is looking for.

How To Get There

Never stop trying to become the very best version of ...