The Top Knot Squad

A 2017 survey published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that 87% of parents believe sex education is important enough that it should be taught in schools. In the survey, parents rated themselves, doctors and nurses, and the school system as the most competent sources of sex ed. However, these same parents believe that sex ed should be taught starting in middle school, between 11 and 14. By that age, many kids have started their menstrual cycle, experienced erections, and had thoughts that may be confusing. So what do we do? How do we talk about sex with our kids appropriate ways without overwhelming them?

Lucky for us, we’re going to be speaking with Jai Fields. Jai (she/her) is a Black, queer, muva, full spectrum doula, educator, and nature enthusiast with a focus on shifting the way we think about birth, abortion, sex, and wellness by replacing fear and shame with education and empowerment. Consent and autonomy is central to the work that she does with humans of all ages  - while centering BIPOC, single, and LGBTQIA+ people. The combination of formal training, mentorship guidance, working with families in various capacities and personal lived experience allows her to provide comprehensive and culturally inclusive support. To Jai, birthwork is social justice work, and her “secret” agenda is to bring wellness to the community through small everyday actions. Welcome!

Resources:

• Your Journey with Jai on IG
• Sex Positive Families
• Planned Parenthood
• Six Minute Sex Ed podcast
• Amaze.org

We recorded this episode in early May 2021, before the Delta variant sent us back into lockdown. Austin was still in Stage 2 restrictions, which meant masking was not mandatory for vaccinated people. Unfortunately, our Shot Girl Summer didn’t end up the way we had hoped. While we may not be peopling again for a little while, we talk a lot about Covid anxiety, mourning what we’ve lost, and more. Hell, maybe you can listen again when the world opens up again.

On today’s episode of The Top Knot Squad we will be discussing peopling post pandemic! As more folks have access to the vaccine and masking guidelines change, we now have to figure out navigating our new normal. While we’re excited to be able to do things again and see friends and family, we’re still grappling with various fears and unknowns. And let’s be real - this isn’t post-pandemic, i.e. covid isn’t just magically over! There is still much progress to be made and no matter where science has brought us with the physical illness, the emotional toll still runs deep. The collective trauma of this past year is still alive and well in our nervous systems so how in the world do we recalibrate?! Luckily we have therapist Ilyse Kennedy joining us to help us unpack it all and offer us tips and advice on how to stay connected! A little about Ilyse...

Ilyse Kennedy is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Clinician. She owns a private practice, Moving Parts Psychotherapy in south Austin, where she specializes in trauma recovery. She is a mental health and social justice advocate on Instagram, @MovingPartsPsychotherapy and by night, she is a mother of two and connoisseur of the reality television arts.

Content warning: On this episode of TKS, we will be discussing a very heavy topic, birth trauma. This topic can be triggering for some so please take the space you may need. We recently shared an episode on this topic when we spoke with Ann Tropea to discuss creating safe birthing spaces and hear what informed birth means for her, but we felt this topic is so big and complex and wanted to allow more space to unpack a bit more and offer some of our own personal and professional experience around this important conversation plus answer some of those squad wants to know questions we didn’t get to last time!

Resources:

• Birth Monopoly
• Evidence Based Birth
• Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth 
• https://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/Informed-Choice/informed-consent-in-childbirth-making-rights-into-reality.html
• 5 Obstetric Violence Prevention Tips - Birth Monopoly
• The Birth Trauma Tree – UNFOLD YOUR WINGS

Content warning: On this episode of TKS, we will be discussing a very heavy topic, birth trauma. This topic can be triggering for some. We know birth and trauma are very personal experiences, but we hope our guest can help us understand more about this topic. Please listen with an open heart, but also take the space you may need.

Resources:

• Ann’s website: https://www.mommytreedoula.com/

• Ann IG: https://www.instagram.com/mommytreedoula/

• Ann FB: https://www.facebook.com/mommytreedoula/

• Ann email: info@mommytreedoula.com

• Birth Monopoly

• Evidence Based Birth

• Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth 

• https://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/Informed-Choice/informed-consent-in-childbirth-making-rights-into-reality.html

On today’s episode, we will continue to discuss how much racism blows. It’s a hard conversation, but lives are on the line and being complicit just isn’t an option. While your TKS ladies are on their own path of unlearning, we approach it from different backgrounds, angles, and privileges.

Our guest Heather Gallagher will speak about her childhood as the Child of a Deaf Adult and the challenges she has dealt with.. Heather’s upbringing plays a huge role in why she is actively anti racist and has been doing the work. We will also unravel some of the ways in which we contribute to harm.

Part two will discuss how the fuck to engage in repair so stay tuned to hear more soon!

Heather Gallagher (she/her) is a Chinese American full spectrum doula and photojournalist providing support for and documenting individuals and families from birth to death. Heather is a CODA (Child of Deaf Adult) and began using photography as a young child as a simplified and exact way to communicate with her mother who is a deaf, Chinese immigrant with limited ASL and English language comprehension. She continues to use it as a tool to tell universal and personal stories across the spectrum of life experiences.

Heather’s clients range widely from individual and family commissions that last years documenting their lives to small businesses and fortune 500 companies worldwide humanizing brands and missions. In 2019 she became a birth, postpartum and death doula and with each client calls on her unique life experiences and perspectives to create a non judgmental and inclusive experience that allows the individual and/or family to fully experience whatever life transition they are going through in an emotionally safe environment.

On today’s episode, we will be discussing how much racism blows. It’s a hard conversation, but lives are on the line and being complicit just isn’t an option. While your TKS ladies are on their own path of unlearning, we approach it from different backgrounds, angles, and privileges.

Our guest Heather Gallagher will speak about her childhood as the Child of a Deaf Adult and the challenges she has dealt with.. Heather’s upbringing plays a huge role in why she is actively anti racist and has been doing the work. We will also unravel some of the ways in which we contribute to harm.

Part two will discuss how the fuck to engage in repair so stay tuned to hear more soon!

Heather Gallagher (she/her) is a Chinese American full spectrum doula and photojournalist providing support for and documenting individuals and families from birth to death. Heather is a CODA (Child of Deaf Adult) and began using photography as a young child as a simplified and exact way to communicate with her mother who is a deaf, Chinese immigrant with limited ASL and English language comprehension. She continues to use it as a tool to tell universal and personal stories across the spectrum of life experiences.

Heather’s clients range widely from individual and family commissions that last years documenting their lives to small businesses and fortune 500 companies worldwide humanizing brands and missions. In 2019 she became a birth, postpartum and death doula and with each client calls on her unique life experiences and perspectives to create a non judgmental and inclusive experience that allows the individual and/or family to fully experience whatever life transition they are going through in an emotionally safe environment.

On today’s episode we will be discussing maternal martyrdom. What exactly is a martyr? According to Merriam Webster, a martyr is: a victim, a great or constant sufferer. Ooof. I think we might have qualms with the victim blaming aspects of that definition, especially considering the gender inequities women are constantly up against, but we do want to key in on this idea that mothers, from a cultural lens, are expected to suffer. The mental load describes the invisible labor that goes into running a family, and even when working outside the home, we know women tend to bear the brunt of household and child rearing duties, all things covid has only intensified. But as Ali Wong says, “I have suffered enough” and today we hope to break down this phenomenon and brainstorm ways to not only reframe this narrative for ourselves and honestly our livelihood, but even more so unravel the necessary work of dismantling the systems that got us here in the first place.

Resources:

• Women in the Workplace | McKinsey

• Mothers Don’t Have to Be Martyrs - The New York Times (nytimes.com) 

• Uber toxic post submitted by a reader

• JillKrause.com

• Jill on Instagram

• Jill on Twitter

 Season 4 is here!!!! Covid is still a cluster fuck but we are leaning in, pivoting, and showing the fuck up as best we can! Join Naya and Alexis to catch up on all they’ve been up to the last few months + an impromptu chat around lots of heavy shit. We are good at doing that, no? 🤣 At the end we review plans for this season, including a fun virtual event coming soooon! We miss you guys! 

Theresa Haddow is an artist and mama who lives in Austin Texas. Theresa is passionate about helping parents connect with their children through crafting with her craft subscription box the Create Kit. When she’s not designing, making or packing crafts, Theresa can be found making whimsical pieces of artwork and encouraging others to add a little creativity to their day. 

• The Create Kit

• The Create Kit on IG

• TheresaHaddow.com

• Theresa Haddow on IG

On this episode, the squad talks about post COVID life. We all know that the pandemic has caused us to re-evaluate our schooling, occupational, and financial situations. For some, it was the push they needed to change the way they had been doing everything. On today’s episode, we are excited to bring on our friend and longtime supporter, Jessica Burleson.

After working in nonprofit management and fundraising for the past 15 years, Jessica left the nonprofit world to become a homesteader and homeschool mom. Her family moved from the city to a 4.5 acre farm just outside of Austin, where they now raise three children along with goats, chickens, ducks, and pigs. They are developing our operation and envision Root Awakenings Family Farm being a place that provides a vacation house, wedding venue, music studio, inclusive community-building space, and CSA package in the next 3-5 years. Their farm provides a peaceful space to relax and enjoy their connection to the natural world.

Resources:

Root Awakenings Family Farm on Instagram
Partners in Parenting