The Tortoise with Brooke McAlary

Instead of the usual conversation between Brooke and Ben, today's episode is simply a reading of the final ever edition of The Tortoise newsletter. 

Take a listen, and please know that it has been an absolute pleasure to be heard by you over the years. 

https://brookemcalary.substack.com/p/sometimes-life-surprises-us 

Much love and thanks for listening,

Brooke and Ben xx

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A more accurate title for this episode might have been: The Myth of Work-Life Balance, because both Ben and Brooke think it’s fundamentally BS, but that was too long a title, so Balance it is.

In this episode, they look at the idea of balance through a post-lockdown, new-workplace lens, in an effort to make sense of why it feels harder to achieve now, and what we might be able to do to create it.

They dig into their own definitions of balance, the pros and cons when it comes to self-employment, how they each differentiate between work time and non-work time and why they find the goal of work/life balance to be damaging.

The also talk about anti-balance or tilting as an alternative, as well as the impact of the upcoming “right to disconnect” legislation, the attraction of "working ahead", how to approach changes in your own workplace when you’re not self-employed, and why it’s important to start small, specific and slow.

It’s a juicy topic, not least because it applies to everyone differently and we hope you enjoy it.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

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In this month's episode, Brooke and Ben dig into the topic of body image. How do we see ourselves in the world? How does that inform our choices and beliefs? What inputs have the most impact on our self-image? 

What began as a conversation about "hot rodent men" became an exploration of how we take up space in the world, the comments, trends, beliefs and expectations we internalise, how those things impact our behaviours and the role that media and marketing play in all of it. 

Brooke shares how her body image has shifted over the past few years, due to health issues, getting older, shifting priorities and the impact of slow living, and Ben looks at the differences in body image for young boys versus men. 

They also discuss their different experiences of negative body image growing up, how body and beauty trends keep us feeling "wrong," why the resurgence of “skinny” might be in direct response to body positivity, why body neutrality could be a healthier place to aim when it comes to self-image, and the importance of body appreciation and its role in our well-being. 

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

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Pleasure. Just the word brings a little shiver to the spine, doesn't it?

Defined as “a feeling or experience that involves enjoyment or satisfaction,” in today’s episode, Brooke and Ben dig a little deeper into what pleasure is in real terms, what it means to them personally and why expanding our individual definitions might be the key to unlocking a whole new way of experiencing life.

For Brooke it relates to not only her word of the year (joy) but also the theme she's currently exploring over on The Tortoise — rebellious living. While at first glance, pleasure doesn’t appear to be particularly related to living rebelliously, throughout this conversation, she and Ben dig into why centring pleasure in a world that feels too much, too heavy, too overwhelming really can be an act of rebellion. (Honestly!)

In a wide-ranging conversation, they also discuss how the senses are related to pleasure, why redefining and reclaiming it could increase the amount of pleasure we experience, the relationship between pleasure and addiction and why embracing joy and delight might make us less prone to capitalistic manipulation.

They also talk about the six-second kiss that's been a game-changer, list some of their own simple pleasures and talk about the importance of becoming a better self-observer if we're going to invite more pleasure into our lives.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you spend any time on TikTok, you've probably seen the #softlife trend pop up over the past couple of years. Brooke and Ben aren't on TikTok, so are late to the party as usual, but wanted to dive into the sister movement of slow living anyway.

In today's episode, they look at what soft living is, where it began, how it relates to slow living, and why it's following a similar trajectory as that of self-care, slow living, and other counter-cultural movements. (ie. becoming increasingly mainstream and commercial).

They look at soft living as the opposite of hard living (which proves both obvious and helpful) and try to define it for themselves. For Brooke it revolves around joy, and for Ben its in learning how to ask for help - both of which offer unexpected ways of looking at softness.

They also talk about the consumerism attached to these movements, and offer some practical suggestions on how to create space for softness in your day-to-day life.

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You know the feeling. Life is motoring on in much the way you expected it to, you’ve got plans, you’ve got goals and then — BAM — a curveball gets whacked your way. Suddenly the plans, the goals, the vague idea of what we thought life would look like are shaken. 

In this month's episode of The Tortoise, Brooke and Ben are talking curveballs, trying to answer the question of how to navigate the unexpected challenges life can throw in our way. 

In this conversation they look at what defines a curveball, how to use some of the ideas of slow living to help navigate them, as we as: 

• examples of some curveballs they've faced themselves recently 

• the role that simply noticing — our emotions, our stories, our egos — can play in accepting and moving forward once we face an unexpected challenge

• “feeling our feelings” as the first step in moving on from a curveball, and why there are many different ways to do that

• how acceptance of what is can help us to move forward and why it’s such a difficult thing to achieve

• the rising movement of Stoicism and concerns about the difference between being stoic and repressed

• two different ways of using perspective to reframe our curveballs over time

• the role of gratitude in moving on from an abrupt life change, and why we can’t always rush straight to it

• why self-care is so important when navigating new life circumstances

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today’s episode is all about joyful living. What it is, what it isn’t, how to get more of it and how it differs from happiness.

Stemming from Brooke's intention to try and find more joy in 2024, this conversation is delightfully and unexpectedly wide-ranging, and in it Ben and Brooke explore:

• the definition of joy, and why it means so many different things to so many different people

• why much of the literature around joy is religious or spiritual

• how joy differs from happiness and how it is similar 

• the role that alcohol has on our ability to experience happiness and joy (and how Brooke's experience has changed since she stopped drinking)

• how to adopt a lens of joy and happiness to life when you’re not a joyful person by default

• why choosing joy is a revolutionary act

• what the difference is between choosing joy and toxic positivity

• how we can add more joy to our lives

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, including links to the articles mentioned in today's episode, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

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Welcome to Episode 10 of The Tortoise - the p(l)odcast all about the possibilities of slow. In today's show — the final one for 2023 — Brooke and Ben look back over the year that was and walk through their personal Top Ten list. That is, their favourite:

• TV show

• Small detail

• Movie

• New destination

• Book (you know I failed to limit this one)

• Discovery

• Album

• New listening (podcast or otherwise)

• Meal

• Experience

It’s a fun thing to do together, and they'd love to hear your Top Ten list for 2023. 

Head over to The Tortoise to share your list and to see the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening, and see you in 2024! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This month's episode digs into the topic of addiction (and more broadly, obsessive behaviour) for things like tech-use, busyness, food and consumption. If you need help with addiction or mental health, there's a list of resources over at The Tortoise. 

In today's show, Ben shares his experience with tech over-use and the links he sees between it and the hustle-grind-capitalism-productivity culture, and he and Brooke look at how the proliferation of tech (especially smart phones and social media) have increased our desire for instant gratification. 

Brooke talks through her compulsion to consume bad news, and shares a few ways she's trying to break those patterns of behaviour. She also talks about the role that tech and consumerism intertwine to create a world that feels simultaneously too much and not enough, and how that has her and many other women she knows feeling angry. 

It's an interesting and meandering conversation that will hopefully leave you with lots to think about. Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today Brooke and Ben are talking about hard times. Or more specifically, how to deal with the emotional heaviness that comes from living through really difficult things.

Digging into this feeling of heaviness, they discuss how they're trying to acknowledge and accept the challenges, as well as the tools they use to help them move forward. They also talk about practical ways to protect ourselves when things feel hard, why limiting social media is a powerful way of drawing boundaries, the impact of gentle activism, why rage-cleaning can help process anger, the rebelliousness of finding joy and why pairing all of these things with action is so important. 

Hopefully this conversation shows that it’s okay to look for and hold onto joy in amongst the difficult times. 

Head over to The Tortoise for the full show notes, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the free weekly newsletter while you're there. 

Thanks for listening! 

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.