The Traveling Introvert

Scot McKay has shared bad jokes with North Korean military officers, sipped coffee at Pablo Escobar’s home (served by his maid), survived a shark attack while surfing, held his breath as the pride of lions walked by his tent, and blitzed through California canyons with his knee on the double-yellow line at 140 mph. Yet somehow, he has also been referred to as the “sane one” on Twitter by Scott Adams, of all people.

But despite once being mobbed by the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, being able to back a 30′ travel trailer into its slot on the first try, and that time he beat the World Champion at his own sport (no details provided), he’s still the most objective and down-to-earth dating expert out there.

He’s also the most fluff-free fountainhead of original content in his field, if only because that’s what seventeen years of immersive geekery on the subject does for someone.

Scot’s wife Emily is his “proof of concept”, given that she’s just as sweet as she is smokin’ hot and still gets carded at her age. But you’ll never hear her brag about any of that, only Scot.

His show The Mountain Top has also been named a Top 10 Dating Podcast by DatingAdvice.com, and a long time ago Grader.com weirdly ranked Scot the #1 most influential Facebook user in the world.

Social media links

https://www.twitter.com/scotmckay

Link to website

https://mountaintoppodcast.com

www.scotmckay.net

Primary Topic: Introversion and Personality

- Definition of introversion

- Differentiating introversion from shyness

- Introverts gaining energy from solitude

- Comparison of introverts and extroverts in social situations

Primary Topic: Career in Dating and Relationships

- Scot's background as a dating and relationship coach

- Working with clients worldwide

- Relationship-oriented approach

- Differentiating from pickup artist mentality

Primary Topic: Misconceptions about the Dating and Relationships Industry

- The misconception that clients are "lovable losers" or lack social skills

- Working with successful individuals seeking meaningful relationships

Primary Topic: Career Changes and Fulfillment

- Scot's previous careers before becoming a dating and relationship coach

- Transitioning from coaching troubled kids to the business world

- Lack of fulfillment in the corporate setting

- Desire to make a positive impact and help others find love

Primary Topic: Leaving the Internet Working World

- Scot's decision to leave the unsatisfying corporate job

- Filling his nest and building his coaching business on the side

- Reaching critical mass and leaving the corporate world for good

Primary Topic: Energy Levels and Fulfillment in Work

- The draining effect of unfulfilling work on energy levels

- Feeling like an anonymous member of a team

- The importance of enthusiasm and excitement in work

- Scot's natural curiosity and enthusiasm for life

Note: The transcript covers various topics, but the main focus is on Scot McKay's career as a dating and relationship coach, his background, and the misconceptions surrounding the industry. The topics of introversion and career changes provide context to Scot's journey and experiences.

Topic: Dealing with People You Don't Like

- Introduction to the topic

- Acknowledging that it's normal to not like everyone

- Importance of treating people with respect and humility

Topic: Strategies for Dealing with People You Don't Like

- Accepting that you won't like everyone

- Letting go of the idea that everyone has to like you

- Identifying something you do like about the person

- Focusing on the things you like to make interactions easier

- Using the things you like about the person to engage them in conversation

- Practicing assuming positivity instead of negativity

- Ignoring negative thoughts to avoid draining interactions

- Being cognizant of managing energy as an introvert

- Reflecting on personal reasons for not liking someone

- Differentiating between genuinely negative traits and personal preferences

- Considering if there's something else going on that impacts the dislike

Topic: Making Encounters Easier and Conserving Energy

- Recognizing that you will encounter people you don't like in various situations

- Implementing strategies to make these encounters easier

- Conserving energy by managing interactions effectively

Conclusion

- Recap of strategies discussed

- Encouragement to use these strategies to make interactions less stressful and draining

- End of episode message and sign-off

Primary Topic: The concept of "done lists" as an alternative to-do lists

- To-do lists

- Negative impact of to-do lists

- The never-ending nature of to-do lists

- The lack of dopamine stimulation from to-do lists

Primary Topic: The importance of recognizing and acknowledging accomplishments

- The need to realize and appreciate what has been accomplished

- Writing down everything that has been done

- The positive impact of acknowledging accomplishments

- Increased self-awareness and behavior modification

Primary Topic: Optimizing time management based on the analysis of accomplishments

- Analyzing the time spent on different tasks

- Patterns and insights from analyzing accomplishments

- Adjusting time allocation for different tasks

- Increasing conscientiousness and accountability

- Achieving the desired goals through behavior modification

Primary Topic: Identifying areas for improvement and making necessary changes

- Realizing time spent on tasks that are not enjoyable

- Identifying unexpected time allocations (e.g. emails, interaction with key individuals)

- Evaluating the impact of hired assistance (e.g. VA)

- Optimizing work processes and arrangements

- Making necessary changes for personal and professional growth

Primary Topic: Benefits of having a "done list" mindset

- Shifting focus from to-do lists to accomplishments

- Boosting mood and motivation through acknowledging successes

- Making informed decisions based on time allocation analysis

- Creating a sense of achievement and success

- Improving overall lifestyle and well-being

Primary Topic: Conclusion and call to action

- Encouraging listeners to try implementing the "done list" approach

- The potential positive impact on mood and productivity

- Emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and making necessary changes

"The Holiday Season for Introverts: 'It is only September, and yet I'm planning how to get through the next sort of 4 month season, including January.'"

— Janice Chaka [00:00:01 → 00:01:01]

"The Festive Season: What does the festive season look like for you? Maybe you're working all the way through. I definitely had a job, previously, which I kind of really enjoyed, that it was the quiet season. I still had to work all the way through because payroll. Everyone still needs to get paid, but everything else died down. And it was a great time for me to organize things, and it was a great time me to clean things up and to prepare for the new year."

— Janice Chaka [00:01:16 → 00:01:39]

Finding Balance and Prioritizing: "Knowing in advance when your days off are going to be and knowing that maybe I can only do 1 social activity during that time and prioritizing, maybe in advance. Like, who is it that you wanna spend that time with? And there some people who will energize you when you spend time with them and some will drain. So maybe trying to find a balance or planning advance who you're gonna see so that maybe one time it's someone draining and one time it's someone not draining and thinking about that in advance."

— Janice Chaka [00:01:49 → 00:02:17]

Finding Joy in Community: "Be like, this is my day that I'm gonna do this thing that brings me joy... having some pillars of stability and things that bring joy that are embedded in your calendar and embedded in your next coming months will be really impactful and helpful for you and your energy levels."

— Janice Chaka [00:03:20 → 00:03:33]

Setting Boundaries: "Yes, I have the time and energy and bandwidth to do this. Or, actually, no. I'm gonna do this thing instead because it's better for me."

— Janice Chaka [00:03:52 → 00:04:00]

Holiday Preparation: "Knowing how to diffuse situations, knowing what you will and won't talk about, knowing different topics and having conversations in mind that you would like to have or can have that are safe. Topics is also a really good thing to think about in advance."

— Janice Chaka [00:04:11 → 00:04:25]

"Achieving Career Success: 'Helping you build your brand and get hired.'"

— Janice Chaka [00:05:07 → 00:05:08]

Primary Topic: Lack of awareness about fire safety

- Lack of familiarity with fire drills

- Lack of knowledge about fire alarm sounds and protocols

- Comparison of fire drills in school and corporate environments

Primary Topic: Personal experience with a fire alarm

- Awakening to a faint fire alarm sound

- Uncertainty about the nature of the alarm

- Observing external surroundings to assess the situation

- Gathering essential items for evacuation

Primary Topic: Response to fire alarm

- Forgetting to check the door for heat before opening

- Encountering another person who also heard the alarm

- Choosing between taking the elevator or stairs

- Low number of people evacuating the hotel

- Observing others without essential items

Primary Topic: Importance of preparedness

- Planning ahead when booking a hotel

- Knowing emergency procedures and evacuation routes

- Ensuring essential items are accessible during an emergency

- Advice on having a "get out bag"

Primary Topic: Conclusion and key takeaways

- Reiterating the need for awareness and preparedness

- Emphasizing the importance of having a plan and essential items

- Encouragement to learn the sound of a fire alarm.

For over 25 years, Wayne Turmel has been obsessed with how people communicate (or don't) at work. He's the author of 15 books and has spoken at conferences and clients around the world.

Link to website

https://kevineikenberry.com/team/about-wayne-turmel/

Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/wayneturmel/

"The Misconceptions of Introverts: 'Because we often get told, you know, when you start, describe the traits of an introvert and you get, You know, quiet, keeps to themselves, never bothers anybody. Basically, the same descriptions they use for serial killers.'"

— Wayne Turmel [00:01:48 → 00:02:03]

Viral Topic: Scariest Moments in Early Career

Quote: "The probably true answer in terms of the scariest thing is very early on in my career. This is how early on it was. We had just rolled out email to the organization, like we were trend trending leaders. And our instructors wanted access to laptops so that we could do PowerPoint presentations and answer email when we were on the road. And You would have thought that we were storming the Bastille."

— Wayne Turmel [00:04:04 → 00:04:43]

Beard Discrimination: "And even though I wore a suit and tie, they felt that the beard was unprofessional and didn't exude the right image."

— Wayne Turmel [00:06:01 → 00:06:12]

Rising through Buyouts: "During these buyouts, I kept rising in the organization, and eventually, I had reached either the as much as I was going to be in that organization or the Peter principle Caught up with me."

— Wayne Turmel [00:09:12 → 00:09:31]

Managing Energy in the Entertainment Industry: "I work pretty much like a volcano. I'm dormant, and I build up all this kinetic energy, and then it bursts out of me like a crazy person, then I am spent and need to lie dormant for another 100 years."

— Wayne Turmel [00:10:53 → 00:11:08]

"The Power of Networking: I met somebody who said, you know, You should consider, given your skill set and who you are, you should consider going into the training business"

— Wayne Turmel [00:12:41 → 00:14:22]

Finding Opportunities in Unexpected Places: "And he said, oh, you're looking for a job? Come see me next week. And I went to see him next week, and he's offering me the instructor manager position for which I was wildly unqualified, But desperate times, desperate measures, the correct answer is, of course, I can do that, And that's how I got my 1st management position."

— Wayne Turmel [00:15:10 → 00:15:32]

The Future of Virtual Work: "you know, there's a a thing here with this virtual work, and maybe I could, get to the point where I step down from a full time position. I continue to teach as needed to pay the bills and start my business, and 20 minutes later, the phone rang and I was fired. So, you know, I'm not a huge believer in signs from the universe, but that was pretty much neon."

— Wayne Turmel [00:17:27 → 00:17:53]

The Introverted Trainer: "Well, the most obvious one is that, because I'm a trainer, Because I am out there, because I speak for a living, all that good stuff that I am this raging extrovert. And, you know, there is nothing more terrifying to me after a day of being on my feet training or doing a keynote, when they say, a few of us are going to dinner. Oh. Oh, heavens. No."

— Wayne Turmel [00:18:58 → 00:19:25]

Getting Started: "I send Kevin a quick Message in Slack. Hey. I'm here. How's it going? And my day starts. That is super important for me Because I was, at the beginning, very bad about when does your day start, when does your day end."

— Wayne Turmel [00:25:43 → 00:26:01]

Primary Topic: Questions from Extroverts

- Question: Do you feel like you're missing out on social activities?

- Response: Depends on what social activities mean to the individual

- Explanation: Social activities can vary from large group events to one-on-one interactions

- Question: Are introverts just shy?

- Response: Introverts can be shy, but shyness is not exclusive to introverts

- Explanation: Introverts choose when to interact, not out of obligation

- Question: Do introverts need to change or become more extroverted?

- Response: No, there is nothing wrong with introverts as they are

- Explanation: Introverts have different needs and energy sources

- Question: Why are introverts so quiet?

- Response: Introverts may be listening, observing, or uninterested in the conversation

- Explanation: "So quiet" is subjective and compared to what or whom

- Question: Do introverts get lonely being alone so much?

- Response: There is a distinction between alone time and loneliness

- Explanation: Introverts choose to be alone for recharge, not out of loneliness

- Question: Why don't introverts speak up more in group discussions?

- Response: Several factors can influence introverts' participation

- Explanation: Need for time to process information, wait for the right opportunity, or gather thoughts before speaking up

The Importance of Having a Brand: "Whether you like it or not, people have thoughts about you and that is part of your brand...a brand is how you differentiate yourself from other humans."

— Janice Chaka [00:00:19 → 00:00:26]

Crafting a Personal Brand as an Introvert: "Crafting a compelling and authentic personal brand as an introvert can help you stand out from the competition. It highlights your unique strengths, skills, personality traits, making it easier for potential employers or people that you know to see what makes you a valuable candidate."

— Janice Chaka [00:01:05 → 00:01:23]

The Importance of Creating a Personal Brand: "Creating a personal brand allows you to showcase your unique abilities. It could be deep thinking, it could be attention to detail, it could be empathy. Emphasizing these strengths demonstrates how you can bring your own fresh perspective and valuable contributions to potential employers."

— Janice Chaka [00:02:02 → 00:02:27]

Building a Professional Network: "Part of building a brand is building a professional network. And to be fair, having a strong personal brand will attract like-minded professionals and mentors who appreciate those particular things about you because they are authentic, because they are you."

— Janice Chaka [00:03:23 → 00:03:33]

"Crafting a compelling and authentic personal brand during the job hunting search and quite frankly, before you start job hunting is a strategic approach that not only sets you apart, but ensures you are presenting your true self to potential employers."

— Janice Chaka [00:04:39 → 00:04:54]

"The Importance of Speaker Preparation: 'And all the speakers had been told in advance that they had to go to tech check, which was separate from what I was doing the day before they were speaking.'"

— Janice Chaka [00:00:39 → 00:00:46]

Importance of Adaptability for Speakers: "And so here's the thing, if you are going to be a speaker at that event, do you care how many times you've done it before? Each stage is different. All tech is different. How people set things up is different. What how the, tables and chairs might be set up is different? Who runs your Q and A is different? You might have been on stage 1000 and 1000 of times, but I'm sure that even Taylor Swift could tell you that are all stages are the same."

— Janice Chaka [00:01:04 → 00:01:37]

"The Key to a Successful Presentation: Following Instructions and Not Pissing Off Your Tech Team" : "It's not only about your slides. Things that can make or break you on stage, are following instructions, and not pissing off your tech team."

— Janice Chaka [00:02:08 → 00:02:10]

Preparing for a Successful Presentation: "I would give you a talk. The tech guys would tell you exactly how to use the microphone, because not all microphones, as you might know, all microphones are creating equal."

— Janice Chaka [00:02:36 → 00:02:46]

"Preparation for Public Speaking: 'Get your selfies in, get your photos in... when you're not actually speaking on the stage, that way you don't get someone standing in front of the camera recording while you're on stage to try and get a little best photo of you.'"

— Janice Chaka [00:03:32 → 00:03:40]

"Importance of Mutual Respect towards Tech Teams: 'Do not assume that the venue is gonna have wifi dedicated just to the computer that is going to run your slides and not to the 18,000 other people that are probably at that event. Be nice. It costs nothing to say, please, and thank you and to listen.'"

— Janice Chaka [00:03:51 → 00:04:07]

Tech Team Woes: "But just because you've spoken in lots of places, or just because you have the biggest ego, doesn't mean that the tech team can't ruin it for you, unintentionally..."

— Janice Chaka [00:04:31 → 00:04:41]

Sucheta Rawal is a former investment banker turned food and travel expert with a mission to raise

awareness of the world through meaningful travel and cultural understanding. Drawing from her own experience of traveling to 100+ countries across 7 continents, Sucheta speaks to entrepreneurs on how to break

social norms, follow their passion, be change makers, and travel sustainably. Her passion for travel shines through in her ventures. She founded Go Eat Give, a nonprofit that promotes cross-cultural understanding through travel, food, and volunteerism. She has also authored 'Beato Goes To,' a series of children’s illustrated books on travel that

inspire young readers to learn about different countries and cultures.

Social media links

https://www.facebook.com/sucheta.rawal

https://www.instagram.com/suchetarawal/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/suchetarawal/

https://twitter.com/suchetarawal

Link to website

https://suchetarawal.com/

🌟 3 Key Takeaways from Sucheta Rawal's Career Conversations on The Traveling Introvert Podcast:

1️⃣ Meaningful Networking: Instead of solely seeking connections based on shared interests, focus on adding value to others and helping them succeed in their roles or career paths.

2️⃣ Meaningful Travel: When visiting a destination, don't just stick to typical tourist experiences. Instead, immerse yourself in the local culture, customs, and traditions. Make personal connections and support the local community.

3️⃣ Leadership & Public Speaking: Taking on leadership roles and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can lead to personal growth and improved public speaking skills. Getting stage time at conferences and engaging in sessions helps others remember your expertise and opens the door for further conversations.