The Traveling Introvert

Hello and welcome to the not so the travelling introvert. Today, I want to talk about people or client facing jobs. A lot of the time, the assumption is as introverts, we can't do client facing or public facing or high touch jobs. And that is not the case. I know I've spoken about how I used to work in casinos, and that is very much a people skills job, but I want to just talk about some ways that could help you through when you're thinking about jobs or you're in a job that is a people facing job.

So one of the things that I talked about was the fact that even though the casino job was very people facing, we got brakes on a regular basis. So that was one of the reasons why that job was a really good fit for me was because I got a lot of downtime in between the people facing time. And most jobs have that cadence. There are very few jobs where you are facing and dealing with people all the time. And even if that is the case, there are ways of finding those moments of solitude within that that help you recharge.

For example, if you have a job where you're on the road a lot and you're going to sales meetings or client meetings and going to different offices, that time in between when you're not at the client's site where you are planning the trip, sending emails or just travelling to said site is your gift of downtime. That's when you can go ahead and recharge and think things through and gain second wind or third wind. So you might have five meetings a day, but in between and that might just be like a busy period of the month. A lot of people have a cadence with their jobs where the start of the month is really busy or the end of the month is really busy. But the middle two weeks are not as busy.

Use those middle weeks as and block out time to do focused work and recharge work. Every type of job has a cadence, and it is for you to find that cadence and make it work for you.

And that's like one of the things that you need to think about when you're thinking, oh, no, it's a people facing job. I can't do that. That's not necessarily true. It's just finding a way that works for you. Now, say you're in a sales role, and a lot of people, when they think about sales roles, are like, you have to talk all the time and you have to go ahead and smooth.

And that's not necessarily the case. A lot of the times, it's a lot of emails, a lot of the time, it's just listening to the other person, figuring out what their specific wants are, what their pain points are, because they could be talking about one thing, but really what they need help with is something else. So one thing that you can do to help you get through that or figure out what works for you is to role play do it on a regular basis in different ways that people could react to you and figure out what you would say and what you would do just like you would practice for an interview to make sure that you feel comfortable do the same thing for that role and you know, if you're more of a phone person then use the phone more. If you're more of a text person, you know, use asynchronous messaging like figure out a way that works for you and even if you still end up not liking phone calls, you'll figure out a way that works for you to have these phone calls. Whether it's making sure that there is an agenda before the phone call or whether it's making sure that phone calls are done on a certain week or a certain time that works for you, begin thinking about what you want from that phone call and even in meetings it's really interesting how many times people will set up a meeting on a calendar but don't explain what they want from that meeting.

When you think about is it you want to sell a service, you want to request feedback, what is it you want from that call and then work backwards to the steps that you need to take to make that happen and some of that stuff might be have to do before the call.

Another thing is thinking about like icebreakers and that sort of a thing have some topics that you're quite happy to talk about whether traffic, art, restaurants, whatever it might be, have those as handy things that you are happy to talk books that you are happy to talk about when you have to talk about something unexpected and don't forget you can't control everything and that's okay because you learn along the way. Thank you for listening. This is [email protected] helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.

Quick Networking Tips

Networking lets you connect to a variety of helpful people — everyone from potential business partners to new customers — and promote yourself. It doesn’t come easily on learning how to network and build relationships with smart, successful people. But when done right, networking is genuine, comfortable, and extremely valuable for both parties. But how do you get started? And how to do it effectively.

I’m sharing the following insights on this episode.

• How can get the most out of networking events.
• Ways to connect with speakers and audience.
• Things to consider before starting.

Hello and welcome to the not so Travelling Introvert. Today, I'm going to talk about events online or otherwise. A lot of the times there are certain things that you can do in advance of an event and after an event to make networking easier.

So, the first thing is start networking before you even get to the event. Normally, when you are told about an event, there will be a list of speakers or a website with a landing page that has information about who's running the event, what organizations are involved and you can go and look and do some research on these people.

Say you're going to an event and there's twelve speakers. Go on LinkedIn, take a look at the speakers. Normally, you'll be able to find them and maybe their contact information or connect with them on LinkedIn, send them a message like, “Hello, I've seen that you are going to be speaking at this event that I'm attending. I'm very excited to hear your talk on [insert topic here] really looking forward to it’. Let them know that you are looking forward to hearing from them.

If you don't want to connect on LinkedIn, most speakers, when they're at an event or advertising for an event will have their contact details, how they prefer to be contacted. So, if they don't have their Twitter profile up there, don't go and stoke them on Twitter. Contact them the way they wish to be contacted and let them know.

Now, feel free to also email or contact the producers of the show and let them know that you're excited about the show and that sort of a thing. Review the schedule or the program before the events start, make a list of the talks that you want to hear and then put those in your calendar so you're not going to miss them. And then make sure that you have time to attend.

Also, give yourself time before and after to prepare any questions that you might want to ask or do further research. Afterwards, because a lot of the time these things run over, they'll leave time for questions and you just might need to refresh or just recharge after that event. So, those are a couple of things that you should do where you don't have to network just at the event.

Now when you're at the event, for example, if it is a Zoom event, normally you would see people's names or their organization names and their names in their Zoom window. If there's someone who's talking or someone who's asked a question that is of interest to you, go ahead, make a note of that person's name and the company they work for and then go and look at their LinkedIn and say, “Hey, saw you were at this event. I really enjoyed the question you asked on [insert here]. I would really love to connect”.  

Not only have you then connected with the people who are speaking at the event but then you started to connect with the audience there as well and if the event is using a hashtag. For example, go ahead and look up that hashtag on social media to see what the conversation is about and who else is using that hashtag because you can connect with them as well. Now the other thing is having an introduction or an elevated speech prepared.

If you get asked who are you where are you from? Or drop your links in the chat or whatever it might be, make sure that you have that information ready to copy and paste and drop in the chat so that will be a good thing to do. Now, another thing is set yourself realistic expectations. There's no way that everyone who's at the event is going to respond to your invitation or talk to you and that's okay, don't be upset if not everyone does that. It is kind of a numbers game.

When you're thinking about networking have a goal in mind. What is your goal being that you just want to add more people to your role decks? Is that you're looking for people that you want to interview for a book? Are you looking for a mentor? Are you looking for something specific? Be interested in the person and not just the opportunity and part of that is by being a good listener asking follow-up questions.

Now, after the event always feel free to follow up 24 to 48 hours later to say, “Oh hey, I really enjoyed your speech on this or this topic. I had a follow up question or [insert whatever it is that you are looking for]”.  Those are things that will be helpful for live and in person and events moving forward.

Thank you for listening. This is [email protected] helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.

Why constructive criticism is important?

Have you ever wanted to give constructive criticism on something, but held back from doing so because you did not know how to convey your ideas across? Let’s face it, it can be hard to give or receive criticism no matter how it is delivered. But getting comfortable with offering and receiving practical, constructive criticism is helpful to deliver better results, find motivation, and strengthen relationships.

In this episode, I will discuss the following:

• What is constructive criticism and its importance.
• Practical strategies to give and receive it well, and what to avoid.
• Benefit of accepting constructive criticism.

Hello and welcome to the not so Travelling Introvert. Today, I want to talk about why introspection, retrospection, and criticism can be the key to success. Constructive criticism -- That's feedback that you get from others, intending to help build you up and provide you with more information and data or tools to help you improve in some way. It's not meant to harm you, it's not meant to be personal, it's not meant to feel like an attack.

And, a lot of people aren't very good at giving constructive criticism, but also in general, accepting criticism. Proper criticism can open-up doors and opportunities that you might not have been aware of before, leading you to more success and happiness closer towards your goals as long as it is provided respectfully. And I want to talk about reasons why accepting constructive criticism can lead to more success. It tends to improve your awareness and your focus. When others provide criticism, it unlocks key bits of information that you might have otherwise overlooked and over time, in doing retrospectives and reviewing, it can help you notice patterns and vital details on your own, and therefore improving your skills and understanding of what to do next time to be more successful, the more information and data you have that you actually review and take action on, the more that you can improve.

And by improvement, I mean it inspires personal growth. When you know that others will provide a valuable feedback, it motivates you to do better before the information is even given. In addition, consistent feedback improves your awareness, which fuels your determination to keep improving and growing. And, this is why, lots of companies should have regular reviews, not just once a year. If you want to provide someone with valuable feedback, the more often you do it and the more constructive you do it, the more the better you're going to get out of that human.

Because at the end of the day, it's helping somebody understand themselves. So, when you're thinking about constructive criticism and accepting it, this helps you increase your understanding of yourself.  Within constructive criticism, of course, there are likely to be variables that detail who you are as a person as opposed to something else. For example, your boss may have noticed how you deal with completing an important assignment, which it may not ultimately affect the results, but they want to provide you with the tools to help you get the results, maybe more efficiently in the future.

In addition, your actions can easily affect other areas of your life and also work assignments, so the feedback gives you richer knowledge of who you are, what you've done well, and what you need to improve. And this, will inspire you to take action. Without action, there is no success. You need to take consistent steps in order to get where you want to go and achieve your goals. No one else can provide this. No one else can do this. Only you can do it yourself.

And taking action is normally the most difficult step in process to overcome. However, receiving constructive criticism can be a great reminder of just how important the right steps are and data is and can provide you with the inspiration you need to keep going and will make better decisions. And with that, it inspires you to take action based on data.

So many times, people are like, well, X, Y, and Z and it's answered by how do you know this? Where is the data? A thought is not a fact. Do you know that you work harder than somebody else? Do you know other people have more experience than you? In what way and does that matter?

Another thing that accepting criticism means is that you get it. You look at it, you digest it and you go ahead and make tiny improvements on the data that you are given and then learn measure and repeat. You learn from it. There's a measurement taken data given back and then you adjust and then you repeat criticism is not harmful nor should it be avoided. In fact, you should seek it out from those you admire the most and those who know you best and have your best interests at heart. The more knowledgeable and more perspective that you gain upon yourself, the better you will become.

Thank you for listening. This is [email protected] helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.

How much approval is too much

People pleasing doesn’t have to be a life sentence.  But, it can be common problem. This can be normal as we are part of a social and professional system that requires a very wide range of inter-relational skills for us to be happy, appreciated and successful. So, you might be wondering:  what makes a people pleaser? How people-pleasing shows up in your work, social life and more. In fact, every area of your life. And what you can do about it.

I will cover the following on this episode.

• Red flags that someone is a people pleaser.
• Dealing with people pleasers.
• How to overcome people pleasing and approval seeking tendencies.

Hello and welcome to the not so Travelling Introvert. Today, I want to talk about being a people pleaser or some people might see it as having a need, a deep need for approval, almost like an addiction.

Receiving validation from other people feels good for a lot of people. So, good that some people kind of develop almost an addiction for receiving that outside approval and take more weight in getting that outside approval instead of being motivated intrinsically. And therefore, they can't motivate themselves without somebody else's approval. It could manifest as if you're obsessed with people going to express interest in you.

Maybe you like being on social media, dating sites, or any situation where you can attract people and get their attention by having them express an interest in you. It might even be hard for you to settle down with like one human because you enjoy having people express an interest with you rather than just having that interest from one person. Maybe you need constant reassurance to make sure that your friends and family are not mad or upset with you.

Maybe you're often overthinking little confrontations and so you often ask for reassurance about how somebody feels about you. You might like to talk about how awesome you are and this can be weird, like, especially if you lack confidence. But some people who aren't confident will talk about all the impressive things they've done to appear worthier than they think they are, in the hopes that people hearing all the things that they've done will agree and validate their thoughts about said awesomeness, even though they might not believe it themselves.

You might find someone who is that really craves attention, loves to name drop. Do you find someone like name drops people who you may know who they have worked with or know a friend of a friend in order to make themselves look more important? This is a sign can be a sign of insecurity, especially when it's not done within context. So, that can be an issue.

Some people will go ahead and make friends with folks based on their wealth or their reputation. So, they look around at their close friends group and they might think, well, this person's rich, this person is a doctor, this person X, Y, and Z. But they might not know a lot about them as humans, and so they might not share the same values which can lead to issues.

Also, you might find someone who is a people pleaser or has a need for approval. They might change their beliefs or the way that they act, or how they act, depending on the situation or the company that they're keeping. They might change what they say or what they think about certain topics depending on who they're talking to.

They might also feel the need to be in control of each and every single social situation when it comes to networking and making friends or building relationships. They might need to be the one that is control of the event so that they can feel confident and comfortable. Because if they let other people oversee the social situations, it might be a bit scary because you might not therefore appear as confident or might not know what's going on. And, it could be a case of just being rejected in any way, shape or form could make that person feel out of control. It often happens with job searches. It can happen with just people that you know, someone you've just met and how they deal with that rejection can reveal whether or not they are a people please or maybe they have an approval addiction and things that don't help with these are social media, especially things like Instagram where what we call vanity metrics. How many followers do you have? How many people liked that particular post?

These things go towards hurting someone's self-esteem and making them more of a people pleaser. People pleasers need to stop and think and figure out who they are, make sure they have personal values and design a path to reach their goals based on their own values rather than what other people value them as.

Thank you for listening. This is [email protected] helping you build your brand and to get hired. Have a great rest of your week!

You are not alone in your introvert struggles

In today’s world, it can be hard to be an introvert. Introverts face many struggles, as we navigate extrovert-biased workplaces and social situations. Often, introverts feel exhausted and overwhelmed by the sheer pressure to be more extroverted and like to have ample alone time to recharge and feel at our best. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this.

In this episode, I will share with you the following:

• Understanding the struggles that introverts might be facing.
• Some of the most successful introverts in the world.
• Providing a perspective that you are not alone.

Hello and welcome to the not so travelling introvert. Today, I want to talk about some struggles that introverts might have, but also the fact that you are not alone. So, by understanding why you might struggle with certain types of communication or certain things, it means you can better explain yourself to other people. For example, extroverts in your life, and for example, conversation, due to some perfectionist tendencies and just also not wanting to interrupt or various other things. A lot of introverts don't speak up or interrupting a conversation because they're listening and absorbing.

Even when you have something to say that you might not feel it's going to be insightful enough, or you're just listening and you want to have deeper conversations. So, just letting people know that oh hey, how's the weather isn't the best conversation starter for you. You might neglect phone calls. You probably much prefer text or email or asynchronous types of communication because you can skip the small talk because that's socially acceptable in those forms of communication. But phone calls, it's a little different.

You might even find yourself procrastinating and making important phone calls or return calls even to those that you care about. Or for example, just to get your dentist. You must feel energized enough to be an enthusiastic participant in the conversation, which can cause you to put off making calls even if they are vital. You also might find it difficult to think in groups because you need to think before you speak and because you might need silence while you ponder. You might find it challenging to participate in a conversation where there are comments and ideas flying everywhere.

You may feel that you can't gather your thoughts well enough to contribute to the conversation because you're still processing and because of this, big groups might exhaust you. When you have to be around a lot of people, especially when you don't know them, you might feel exhausted fast, and one reason is because it involves a lot of meaningless small talk which we talked about before, which doesn't come naturally to us. Introverts and putting in that much effort can wear you out along with the pace of the conversation and you wanting to think and then sort of feeling left behind almost because the conversation has moved on.

Maybe you might dislike working in groups because you must rely on others to communicate in ways that you might not feel comfortable with, and it can be a real challenge to complete a project. There's also the issue of perfectionism there, but not being able to have the time to think and do focused work because you're supposed to be working in a team and as a group, but regardless of that, you are in good company. Albert Einstein was also believed to be an introvert. In fact, Einstein believed that the quiet life was the secret to his creativity. If he had any preconceived notions about introverts not being successful, he is one that trounces that stereotype.

Another example is Bill Gates. You certainly can't say he's not successful but he is, again, another quiet human that enjoys his solitude and if he's called out for being that way, it doesn't bother him. And why should I he's living his life? Abraham Lincoln was someone who believed in having integrity. He believed more of being the unsung hero rather than performing acts for the sake of the attention that it gets. However, he was able to attention that he did receive because he was the President of the United States and that's got a lot of attention.

You'll also find that Lady Gaga is an introvert. With all the flash and energy from her concerts, it's hard to believe that she might even fall into this category. But she is a very private and needs a lot of time to recharge. Mel Streep is a well-known actress and she is so talented. But she is and she is an introvert along with Michael Jordan who is among the list of celebrities who is a larger than life basketball player and at one point even tried his hand at professional baseball. But he is also an introvert.

So, you are not alone and you, too can be successful. It's just knowing more about yourself that helps. So the next time anyone says to you that introverts can't make their way in this extroverted world, refer to them to this list. These are all people who have accomplished amazing feats in their life and are tremendous inspirations to everyone, not just you.

Thank you for listening. This is Janice at [email protected] helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.

Hello and welcome to the not so travelling introvert. Today I want to talk about client Privacy. So many times there are Facebook groups, popup Facebook groups or posts on social media celebrating that this person and that person and the other person has joined this particular coaching group or coaching program. Or there is a group in Facebook and people join and there's a welcome to the group and listing all the names on that particular post. So here's the thing.

A lot of people who reach for coaching services, no matter what kind of coaching services they are, are doing so expecting a certain level of confidentiality and Privacy. And I know that a lot of coaches use their hey, join my group and hey, these people have joined. Look how popular this group is to make that fear of missing out thing that much more palatable. But at the same time, what they are doing is destroying their credibility, destroying their clients trust in them because of the lack of confidentiality and Privacy. So many times I get asked, hey, why don't we see a bunch of testimonials on your website?

Or hey, let me know the people that you have worked with. Or why don't we see you posting about all the successes that your clients have? And the simple fact is, my clients come to me because they want help in their career. More than likely they don't want their boss or their LinkedIn friends or their Facebook friends knowing that they are seeking help and support to maybe change careers, maybe start their own business, maybe just do better or get a promotion. They don't need people to know that and they don't want people to know that.

So those of you who are out there looking for your next coach or mentor or insert word here, keep in mind that you want them to keep your information private. You want them to keep your information confidential. Not everything is made to be splashed around on social media. It's fine if they get your permission. That's also the reason why I don't run a Facebook group for my clients that I coach.

Because putting them all into a group means that then things pop up like, oh you might know such and such because you know the Facebook algorithm, right? Oh, you might know such and such. You should ask them to join this group. Oh, such and such is in a group that's similar to yours. No matter how private you make that group, people can still take screenshots of things you say in that group and post them to other places.

Nothing is truly, truly private if it is in a Facebook group.

So when you are thinking about who to work with, take a look and see how they treat their clients. Are all their clients splashed all over their social media, with or without permission? Or do they just give examples that are anonymous because then they're more likely to keep your information private and confidential. That's also one of the reasons that clients work with me is because they don't have to be on video with me. I respect their Privacy.

If they're having a bad day and they don't want to be on video or to be honest, we've all got Zoom fatigue at this point, then they don't have to be I have coaching that I've had some that I've coached with for I think now three years and we don't do video. She doesn't have to see me and I don't have to see her. We still get the job done. So it's just something to keep in mind. Find someone that works with you in a way that works for you.

Thank you for listening. This is [email protected] helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week. Bye.

Hello and welcome to the not so travelling introvert. Today we’re gonna talk about the different facets of anger. Different facets of anger. So more than one way to, I’m angry, that's all it is. This thing happened and I got really angry.

But angry, anger, I should say, is nuanced. There are different things to go through and feelings as far as anger. So how anger grows? Anger and irritation are normal human emotions that we all go through. But it's not something that you need to think about too hard.

But you need to learn to understand your anger and what sets it off. Because once you understand this, you can take steps to reduce it and know what to do in certain situations, right? But there's a continuum of anger. Any of us can escalate from irritation to rage as any other human.

So let's think about more about what happens. So irritation. Irritation tends to be on an everyday part of life. For example, your car won't start, the WiFi keeps kicking you off. The store is out of your brand of toilet paper again too soon.

You're usually a calm person and you're just having a bad day feeling frustrated or agitated. You express your irritation as annoyance, but it's not necessarily meant personally and the situation is forgotten quickly. Then there is mild anger. One of your goals is blocked. For example, say you wanted to go away for the weekend but your child is sick so you have to cancel.

Alternatives exist. You can go away next weekend. However, you do feel disappointment and frustration. You remember the experience and the feelings.

Then there's intense anger. Your goal is blocked and there is no acceptable alternative. For example, you've been let go from your job. A close family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Your level of anger and frustration is very high. It's difficult to express and you become preoccupied with the situation. As you can see, no way out. And then there's a rage. Rage results from frustration and then some a build-up of circumstances. You are consumed by angry feelings. You have no control over the expression of your feelings and you don't respond logically.

Violence may occur, either verbal or physical, and you could be a danger to yourself and others.

This is a vicious cycle of aggression. You can see the continuum of anger. At each stage, the level of anger rises. So what do you need to do is think about how you deal with anger and aggression and what that looks like in various cycles for you. Is it because of low self-esteem, anxiety, hostility, guilt?

It's these things that you need to think about, because you need to acknowledge that emotion. Acknowledge the emotion you are feeling and then have a method for you to deescalate that feeling. Be it you take a walk outside, be it you stop, take a beat and then restart the conversation. It could be that you need to Journal most of the time it's like you need to stop but you need to do this before you get to the rage stage because if you're already at the rage stage, logic is not an option. So just by looking at and knowing these different stages and levels of irritation and anger and rage, think about situations that you have been in previously where you thought these things or experienced these feelings.

How did you deal with them? What have you done previously that helped those feelings go away or settle down? And is it something that you can think about and use in the future to make sure that you don't reach the stage of rage. And maybe have a little list of when this happens, I need to do this when X happens, I need to do B when Y happens I need to do Z and B. Knowing yourself and knowing how to deal with these situations will help you moving forward.

Hopefully you never get to the stage of rage and it daily irritation is fine but just thinking about how you act and how people might see that is something to take into consideration. Thank you for listening. This is [email protected] helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your day. Bye.