Matthew 19:3-9 (NLT)
Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
“Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery-unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
Explanation:
Understatement of the week: divorce is hard to talk about. For anyone but Jesus. In this passage, Jesus had finished teaching in Galilee and was headed to Jerusalem when the Pharisees (who considered themselves the religious experts of the day) tried to test Him with a loaded question about divorce. Jesus saw this as a teachable moment, even if His listeners weren’t that open to actually listening. He responds to them in a conversational manner, and attributes the quotes within the quotes directly to God. How’s that for an authoritative source?
At first look, it’s a fair question. If divorce is not acceptable in God’s eyes, why then did Moses, God’s chosen leader of the Israelites, allow for a procedure whereby a person could prove their marriage ended justifiably?
Once again, Jesus looks past the question at hand and speaks right to the heart of the matter: divorce is a man-made solution to deal with something that God never intended to happen. It came along with all other sin that entered His perfect world with Adam and Eve’s original sin; however, nothing less than absolute unity and oneness was God’s standard for marriage at Creation. God designed the spiritual, emotional, and physical changes that take place when one leaves their parents’ household to last for the earthly life of those making the commitment, and none of that original intention was changed by Moses’ decree.
Jesus uses marriage to explain to us that He is after our hearts, both individually and once we join together in “holy matrimony.” God changes the status of the relationship from single to married, but also from two to one. This is no longer just another human relationship; it is a covenant between a husband and a wife, and made jointly with God Himself. Jesus tells us in no uncertain terms that this union is broken when divorce occurs.
Does He still love us when divorce has affected our lives? Of course! But as a loving Father always does, He wants better for His kids. He wants us to know that marriage for life was His original plan for us, and when we choose to submit our marriages, former and current, to Him, He alone can lead to healing like no other human attempt can.
Application:
1. This passage acknowledges that the presence of sin in the world means that some marriages will be irreparably damaged. We also know the impact of divorce reaches far beyond just the individuals divorcing, to their families, their friends, and their communities. Have you seen divorce affect lives in this way? Knowing what Jesus says about divorce, can you reconcile how a good and loving God would want His people to avoid it at all costs?
2. I so wish I would have truly read and understood this Scripture when I got married. Not that I was thinking about divorce on my wedding day, but despite being married in a church and having all of the outward appearances of a Christian wedding, I still selfishly thought that day was all about us. Maybe this is the case for you also; if so, thank God right in this moment for His great forgiveness and commitment to changing our lives to reflect Him, even if it takes a lifetime. How does it make you feel that God is never finished working in our hearts?
3. Once again, we see that the goal of God’s confrontation in our lives is always redemption. Sin is easier than obedience, but blessing follows obedience every time with God. This will always be His Way for our lives, no matter the subject matter!
Devo Plus:
For a more complete understanding of Jesus’s words in Matthew, read the Old Testament scriptures He references:
Matthew 19:4-Genesis 1:27 (God created man and woman)
Matthew 19:5-Genesis 2:24 (words of God pertaining to marriage)
Matthew 19:7-Deuteronomy 24:1 (law requiring a written notice of divorce)
First Peter 3:7 says that a marriage must be in good standing, or a couple’s prayers will be hindered. One of the most powerful things a married couple can do is pray together. Bringing God to the forefront of your marriage changes things on a supernatural level. Not only does it allow God to guide you toward what He already knows is best for you, but you are jointly acknowledging His Sovereignty in your life and in your marriage. I encourage you to pray with your spouse daily, but especially when big decisions are to be made; God will bless this unity!
Prayer:
Father God, once again, You show us clearly in Your word how big and beautiful and perfect Your original plans were for our lives. On behalf of all humanity, we are so sorry for our part in messing that up. Help us to repent and move away from that which once defined us. Your redemption is a gift that is so great, we will never fully understand or appreciate it. Thank You also for Your Son, the perfect, straightforward answer to all that we need in this life. Please remind us this week that Your grace truly is enough for us. In His Precious Name. Amen.