1 Peter 3:1-4 (NLT)

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Explanation:

I recently took one of those genealogy DNA tests to learn more about my heritage. It revealed some things I already knew, but I learned that I have a very strong Scottish heritage. If you haven’t had exposure or done research about Scots before, here’s a spoiler alert: We aren’t known for our naturally gentle and quiet spirits. In fact, we are more known for our stubbornness and argumentative nature. This is just another reason why I need to have a close relationship with God and His Word. It’s not natural for me to give up, give in, or compromise.

Peter’s teachings here are the ultimate call-out for people like me. I am commanded to be subject to my spouse. I’m called to have a gentle and quiet spirit. It’s counter-cultural and counter-intuitive for people who are wired like me. My conduct is supposed to be respectful and pure. It’s so easy to focus on the desire to “win”—if we are honest with ourselves, no one really wants to be the one who comes out on the “losing” side of an argument.

I look at my past and think about how much I wish I would have focused on this scripture, instead of digging my heels in and refusing to change. So much anger and hurt was cultivated as a result of my behavior. At that time, I was married to an unbeliever. My godly actions were supposed to be speaking to him, in an effort that he would come to know God. Unfortunately, I was in a different place spiritually at that time in my life, and while I was a Christian, I was not in tune to how I contributed to the toxicity of that failed marriage.

I am thankful now for the place where God has brought me over the last 10-15 years. About a year ago, I entered into a new marriage, where we are both purposed with the desire to be mutually submissive. It’s still a learning experience for me, after being on the defensive and focusing on “winning” for so many years. I’m learning more about having a gentle spirit and inner beauty that God desires for me to have. I’m a work in progress, but with God’s grace and my re-purposed determination, I can overcome.

Application:

1. When you reflect on today’s passage, what stands out to you?

2. Do you ever spend more time worrying about your outward appearance than focusing on having a gentle and quiet spirit?

3. How can leading a godly life speak to those around you?

Devo Plus:

Read Galatians 5:22-23. Reflect on the fruit of the Spirit, and how this can help you develop a gentler spirit.

Prayer:

Ask God to help you discover ways you can have a gentle spirit and the inner beauty that He desires. Ask for guidance to develop a heart of mutual submission, rather than a heart of stubbornness.

James 3:13-18 (ESV)

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Explanation:

The apostle James wrote this letter to Christians who were struggling to remain faithful to Christ amid persecution. He draws a line in the sand that challenges each of us to decide how much of God we want in our lives. If we are fully committed to following Jesus and obeying God’s Word, then our wisdom (behavior) will reflect that commitment. The godly wisdom that comes from walking closely with our Lord will be evident in how we treat people, most notably, if we give preference to their needs.

Likewise, if we approach our relationship with Christ half-heartedly, the worldly wisdom of our culture will influence us, and soon we will be putting our own needs first. Selfishness and devotion to Christ are diametrically opposed, and whichever one we focus on will stifle the impact of the other. Note the downward spiral of worldly wisdom in the passage—earthly wisdom does not sound harmful, but ultimately it leads to demonic chaos in our lives.

Marriage and family cannot thrive in a selfish environment; in fact, no relationship can. God designed us to function best when we put Him first in every relationship. By doing so, we are cooperating with God to develop the fruit of the Spirit that brings peace to our hearts and homes.

Application:

1. How much of God do you want in your life?

2. If you asked your family and friends to rate your level of selfishness on a 1-10 scale, where do you think you would end up?

3. The Bible tells us God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). What is the difference between God’s jealousy, and the jealousy we must guard against?

Devo Plus:

Romans 12:9-21

Prayer:

In your quiet time with God today, ask Him to reveal any areas in your life where you exhibit selfish behavior.

(Note: Today’s topic can be of a sensitive nature. We realize that the topic of sex can carry with it a lot of hurt and abuse. The following devotion is offered as model of how Paul desired sex to operate within a marriage. Some have twisted the passages below to work in a way antithetical to what Paul is saying in this passage. To use it to demand your needs be met or blame your spouse for your inability to control yourself, does not register with this verse, nor the heart of God).

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NLT)

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Explanation:

If you ever have doubts about how loving God is, think about the fact He made sex.

Humans were designed to procreate, and instead of making that process rote, he made it with cravings, desire, and intense physical pleasure. It’s a gift designed only for marriage, and it is a gift for a married couple to open and reopen again and again throughout their marriage.

Within the institution of marriage, God designed a husband to want his wife and a wife to want her husband. When this mutual longing gets bent or warped, it can be devastating enough for the wheels to come off what was intended to be a bonding and uniting experience.

Paul gives great counsel on how to keep married sex exciting and mutually satisfying: live a spouse-centric marriage.

Paul is stating the importance of sex in a marriage. It is an opportunity for serving and it is not a light thing to deprive your spouse of something they need. Though sex differs in some ways than the other physical needs (you can live without sex, you cannot live without food and water), sexual desire and intimacy within a marriage is just as much a need as hunger, and sleep. Paul states in our last verse that to deprive a spouse of sex sets them up for temptation, because quite frankly, unmet needs can warp wisdom. When something is physical, it is very hard to ignore and God gives us our spouse to care for each other’s physical desires and needs.

It’s clear to see in our passage that sex starts in the heart with a mutual submission to each other, a prioritizing of the other spouse’s feelings and needs, and a desire to fully serve your spouse in the most intimate way. In a loving, thriving, prioritized marriage, needs are met, not ignored.

Simply put, Paul is saying we need to approach sex with only one thing on our mind…fulfilling our spouse! In the safety of the marriage bed, give your heart and body to the person you committed to in marriage, and with God’s blessing, you will experience exactly what He designed sex to be: exhilarating.

Application:

1. What would you have to do today to help your spouse get things done, so they would have energy for sex?

2. What genuine apology do you need to make to your spouse to clear up what has been keeping you apart physically?

3. What schedule changes do you need to agree upon to make time for leisurely love making?

4. Are you embarrassed to talk about sex with your spouse to find out exactly what they enjoy? Can I tell you something? Sex doesn’t embarrass God. He designed it with you and your spouse in mind. Start the conversation by asking your spouse exactly what they need and begin the process.

5. Remember the saying, “Sex starts in the kitchen”? That is because foreplay is a priority, and there is nothing more alluring than thoughtfulness outside the bedroom. Doing the dinner dishes can go a long way toward steamed-up bedroom windows. Before you blush over that, reread our verses. Through Paul, God is saying sex is important and needs instructions, so Paul gave them! Paul said to keep having good, thoughtful, spouse-first sex, unless you both agree to take a break to pray and seek God.

Devo Plus:

Highly recommended books for couples to read together:

“Intended for Pleasure” by Ed Wheat

“The Act of Marriage” by Beverly and Tim LaHaye

Prayer:

God, thank You for this treasure we were given for our marriages…the ability to be physically one. I know it’s Your desire that we not only are physically one, but emotionally one, spiritually one, and one in our loyalties. I ask You to help me habitually wonder about the heart, mind, body, and soul of my spouse. I long for the beauty You have designed me to enjoy, and I see Your plan. Help me stay mindful and thoughtful toward my spouse. Amen.

Matthew 20:20-28 (NRSV)

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to him with her sons, and kneeling before him, she asked a favor of him. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Declare that these two sons of mine will sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” But Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” He said to them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left, this is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.”

Explanation:

It is easy to find ourselves scoffing at the mother of James and John, and her request to Jesus. Who would have the nerve? We may, like the disciples, gather up our self-righteous anger. Well…I have seen a lot of well-meaning mothers who love their children very much, come to scenarios such as this. Let’s just be honest, many of us do not need our mothers to make such a request, because we have the gumption to do it ourselves. Who doesn’t want to succeed? Who doesn’t want to be great? I know I do.

But Jesus doesn’t condemn, He instructs. He takes the opportunity to teach who He is and how He (and His Father) define greatness. Jesus starts by asking them if they are able and willing to drink of the “same cup,” referencing His suffering and death (Matthew 20:17-19). He then walks out how this definition of greatness plays out in their everyday lives.

Jesus tells the disciples that greatness comes through serving others. When they lower themselves to care for those around them first, they are truly finding greatness. They ask for a position, He gives them a posture. Greatness for the disciples was the place where they most reflected their Master, not a position or success. When they served others, they were modeling the greatest Person ever to live. Doing so would bring life to them and the people they served.

Application:

1. What is one thing you noticed in today’s passage?

2. When you read the passage, what emotions rise up in you?

3. What is something you feel like God is trying to teach you through this passage?

4. What is one thing God wants you to do, in light of the truth you learned today?

Devo Plus:

Read all of Matthew 20, and focus on how Matthew layers the stories within this chapter to teach Jesus’s point.

Prayer:

God, in our flesh we desire position, authority, and greatness because of the life we think they will afford us. But I pray that we would desire a posture, and not a position. May we have hearts to live like You and serve like You, so we can reflect Your greatness to the world around us. Help us to live like You, as we have experienced the blessing of You serving us at the cross. And no matter how hard serving others is here and now…in the age to come, let us find satisfaction of life in Your presence forevermore. Amen.

Philippians 2:3-8 (NLT)

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God,

he did not think of equality with God

as something to cling to.

Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;

he took the humble position of a slave

and was born as a human being.

When he appeared in human form,

he humbled himself in obedience to God

and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

Explanation:

The apostle Paul is very real and very blunt in this passage. He starts off by telling us not to be selfish, but rather to be humble, to not only look out for our own interests, but to really be concerned for and care for others. I think as we process this information, however, we have one of those “easier said than done” moments. I think all of us would like to say we are not selfish, but instead selfless. But the reality is, our human nature is selfish. We want what we want, we desire to do the things that make us happy. Even though we may long to look out for the interest of others, somehow our selfish desires still get in the way.

So, why is Paul telling us not to be selfish? I mean, it’s hard and doesn’t come naturally to us. How can we find the standard for what this looks like? Paul reminds us of the example of Jesus. He is fully God, yet He chose to come to earth. To live among us and be the example for us. But He didn’t stop there. He took our sin, our shame upon Himself so we might be forgiven and receive the gift of eternal life. Why did Jesus do this? Because He was humble, He loved us, and He was willing to do whatever it took for us to once again be in relationship with the Father. He didn’t come to Earth to be served, but rather to serve others and give His life so we could live forever with Him (Matthew 20:28).

The process of becoming more like Jesus is hard, I think especially when it comes to the area of humility. I have seen so much good and fruit come from the moments I have chosen to put aside my wants and desires, and to instead serve and put another person first. I truly believe when we put our selfish desires aside and look out for others, they will see Jesus in us. And my friends, that is our ultimate goal. To become more like Him so we can reflect His love to the world. This week, let’s do our best to put our selfishness aside, and instead be purposed to look for opportunities to love and serve others first.

Application:

1. Think of a time when you put your selfish desires or wants ahead of another person. Looking back, how did that situation turn out? (good, bad, full of regrets)

2. Why is it so hard to put on humility instead of selfishness?

3. Why do you think Jesus’s way is better?

4. What can you do this week to help you become less selfish and more humble?

Devo Plus:

This week, I encourage you to slow down. I think we often miss out on opportunities to put others first because we are so rushed and busy. In the different relationships and places you find yourself this week, take a moment and ask God to show you how to serve the other person first. Maybe it’s doing a chore your spouse usually does. Maybe it’s taking a break from the dishes to sit down and play with your child. Maybe it’s letting someone who has fewer items than you go ahead of you in line at the grocery store. Or maybe it’s simply picking up the phone and calling that person you haven’t talked to in a while. Whatever it is for you, take the time this week to put it in action. Let’s look for opportunities to put self aside, and to look to the interest of others first.

Prayer:

God, we recognize that selfishness is a natural part of life for us. We have wants, needs, and desires that can cloud our view when it comes to others. Will You help us this week to be more humble? To be more like Jesus, who came to serve and love others well? We want to do the same in our lives. Show us areas where we tend to be selfish, and help us learn to be more humble every day. We want to serve others just like Jesus did. We know we can do this, but only with Your help. Thank You for Jesus and His example. Amen

John 13:12-17 (ESV)

When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

Explanation:

The disciple John talks about the Passover supper, the last meal Jesus is to have with His disciples before He is betrayed and crucified. Jesus got up from supper, removed His garments, and got down to wash the feet of His disciples. This was an extreme act of servitude. It was customary that the lowest servant in the house would wash the feet of guests, so when Jesus took this stature, it was shocking. Jesus demonstrated to them a powerful truth of humility and servitude. He went on to ask if they understood what He had done, emphasizing His stature as Lord and yet His posture of servant. He had set the example for the disciples to live the same way. Jesus wanted His disciples to lead and serve in complete humility as He did.

Not only did Jesus set the standard and the example for His disciples, He also set it for us. Jesus did not lead just by telling, He led by example…everything He tells us to do, He has done Himself. If the very one to die for our eternal salvation lived a life of humility and love toward others, we are that much more compelled to be just like Him. We are in no position to act in a way of highest stature when the only one who deserved that chose to serve.

Application:

1. Why does John share exactly what Jesus did during the Passover meal?

2. In what areas of your life are you elevating your stature when you should be serving those around you?

3. How has the Lord blessed you and others when you have a heart of servitude?

4. What are some areas in your life you feel God is calling you to serve, and what are some ways you can follow in obedience?

Devo Plus:

Read Mark 10:45, Acts 20:35, and Ephesians 2:10 to get more insight into this passage.

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for always leading us in the way of pure life, for showing us what it looks like to love deeply and to live a life glorifying to You. Challenge us to humble ourselves and to seek out ways to serve others around us. Allow our hearts to be so aware of needs around us, and to be confident in the calling you have given us to serve. God, we are so grateful that You never lead us where You don’t also go Yourself. Thank You for being the true and perfect example. We love You, Lord, and we give You all the glory. Amen.

Ephesians 5:21-33 (ESV)

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Explanation:

For many people, reading this passage of scripture can make you cringe. Maybe it makes you angry, or maybe you classify it as “old fashioned” and not up to date with today’s society. If you are a woman, it might even appear to you as a disrespectful passage of scripture. But when we understand this passage, what it means, what it is communicating, it becomes a beautiful message, especially for us females!

In this passage, Paul is writing to the people of Ephesus. Paul is telling the people to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” If we start here, submitting to one another, I think it puts us the right frame of mind. As Christians, we are to submit to one another, help each other, bear each other’s burdens. Matthew Henry’s commentary put it this way, “Where there is this mutual condescension and submission, the duties of all relations will be the better performed.” I think I might get that put into a poster in our house! Submitting isn’t a bad thing, it’s quite the opposite. Having a humble heart to help each other only brings about good things. It models our submission to Christ.

The passage goes on to specifically address wives and husbands. Paul uses the metaphor of marriage between a husband and wife to illustrate the relationship of Christ and the church. I think this is where, especially as a female, we can start to feel some resistance. As wives, we are told to submit to our husbands as we would to the Lord. This isn’t a bad thing. When we think

of how the church humbles itself before God for the betterment of the church, we recognize that a humble and submissive heart is a blessing to the church, just as it is to a wife. The church benefits from submitting to the Lord; a wife benefits in submitting to her husband. It is how God has designed marriage, and His design is always best. You might be asking: what if my husband is annoying, hard to be around, etc.? As a wife, God will always honor obedience. God does something in our hearts when we follow what He asks us to do. Paul goes on to talk to husbands, telling them to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” The love that Christ showed the church is a pure love, a servant love, a sacrificial love. When husbands love their wives like this, it honors God. What if your wife is annoying, hard to be around, etc? As a husband, God always honors obedience. God does something in our hearts when we follow what He asks us to do. (Sound like something you just read a few lines ago?!)

The rest of the verses go on to talk about the role of a husband to love his wife, and compares it to how Christ loves the church. Jesus set the perfect example of love for the church. He lived a perfect life and died so we could experience life. When we love our spouse the way Jesus loved the church, we must die to our own desires and wants so we can experience the fullness that Jesus offers. When we live out the things in this passage of scripture, we honor Christ. It’s not easy, but it is worth it!

Application:

1. How do you feel when you read this passage of scripture? Why do you think you feel this way?

2. How does this passage of scripture challenge you to be a better spouse? If you aren’t married, how does this passage challenge you to have a heart of service in other relationships?

3. Think about how Jesus’s love for us (the church) and how He laid down His life for us. What changes in your life would you need to make to model this love for others?

Devo Plus:

Watch this YouTube video of Pastor Tim Keller and his wife Kathy talking about their book, “The Meaning of Marriage.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8hmo0Ji-uo

Prayer:

God, thank You for Your sacrifice for us. Thank You for Your unending love for us. Thank You for loving the church, and being an example of how we should love our spouse. Please help us to die to ourselves so we can experience a life that brings fulfillment and joy. Please give us the tools we need to become more like You.

Colossians 3:1-4 (ESV)

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Explanation:

The most essential relationship in our lives is our relationship with God Himself. Why, you ask? Our relationship with God sets the tone for all other relationships we have. Let me explain. God is by far the best at relationships. Christ is not only a reflection of God’s love, but likewise is a model for how best to love. When we place our faith, trust, and life in (emphasis added) Christ, we not only receive the grace to be new, but also the grace to operate as Christ operated.

This is especially true in the relationships God has placed in our lives. Therefore, we must “seek the things that are above” and “set our minds on things that are above.” You see, Christ is perfection in every way, and is honored with a place next to God in heaven for this perfection. We now look to that perfection as our example of how to live and love in the here and now. Social media, movies, television shows, family, friends, etc., are not what we seek for relational standards. Those are all faulty examples. We seek Christ.

Application:

1. How have you used other outlets such as social media, movies, family, friends, etc., to define relationships for you?

2. Why are those faulty examples of relationships?

3. How might those examples communicate something different than what Christ communicates about your relationships?

4. What does it look like to seek or set your mind on the things above?

5. What is Christ communicating to you right now about your relationships?

Devo Plus:

Read John 3:16-17. What does it look like in your relationships to give as God gave?

Prayer:

Jesus, thank You for giving us Your example to follow in how to relate to others. You know the best way to love, and I look to You to show me, in each and every relationship You have given me, how I can best love others. Holy Spirit, remind me to seek You and set my mind on You each and every day.

(NRSV)

You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Explanation:

Paul is reminding the Ephesians that when they became members of Christ’s body, they signed up to have their lives changed. Christ accepted and invited them in as they were, but the kind of grace Jesus offers is the kind that will not let the church retreat to harmful ways of living. It would be no more fitting for a football player who was traded to an opposing team to continue to wear their old jersey, than for someone to become a Christian and keep their old ways of living. It simply will not do.

This change is important, yet it is a process. The level of transformation Christ is going to make in you will take nothing less than a lifetime. God uses our everyday circumstances, our relationships, our success and failures to expose the places we need to transform.

Nowhere does God reveal the places I need to change like my relationship with my wife. I did not realize how selfish and broken a person I was, until I was put in a place where I had to consistently love and care for another person I lived in constant proximity to. But that exposing is not a bad thing. It doesn’t surprise God that I have selfishness and brokenness in my life. God used marriage to show it to ME. So through the act of repentance and practicing selfless love, He teaches me to be more like Him.

Application:

1. As you read the passage, was there anything that stood out to you?

2. Do you have a relationship in your life that challenges you? Take a second and think about why that is.

3. What are the areas where you feel tension?

4. What frustrates the other person in the relationship?

5. How do you think God wants to change you in that area?

Devo Plus:

Read all of Ephesians today (should take 15 minutes). Keep note on how Paul lays out the full breadth of the gospel (grace through transformation) for the purpose of unity in the church.

Prayer:

God, You give us many opportunities to see who we truly are. The level of brokenness inside of us is always a surprise to us. But I pray that we would see how every time You show us our sin, You help us trust it is for the purposes of changing us, not shaming us. You love us deeply as we are, and You love us enough to call us from the broken and selfish ways we all live in. It’s in Your precious name we pray. Amen.

Galatians 5:16-17, 22-26 (NLT)

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.

Explanation:

God designed you for peace.

Many, many years ago, I had a woman seek me out for some mentoring. She had a tumultuous first marriage, and was now married to a boring Christian man (her words). This husband was steady, hardworking, honest, kind, and supportive. After listening to her, I realized she simply did not know what to do with peace.

She was addicted to drama and chaos, and found peace unnerving.

Ratings verify there is a thirst in our culture for watching divisiveness, anger, manipulation, and drama for entertainment. Certain stars of reality shows have admitted things were edited to show more turmoil and vindictiveness, fights were staged, or they were coached to ramp up reactions for the camera, thus higher ratings. The truth of the matter is to live that lifestyle is draining, damaging, and totally misses the mark of how God designed us. We weren’t designed for high intensity hostility or sustained antagonism.

We are designed for peace.

Anger, revenge, spiteful reactions, and exaggeration affect your mind, spirit, and even your health. It may look effective in the movies, but in real life, it dramatically alienates you from whole life, health, and strong relationships.

If for some reason you find yourself in a broken relationship, whether it is a sibling, friend, spouse, neighbor or coworker, and you are longing to mend it, today’s passage is the Holy Spirit’s response to that longing.

Because our regular nature will always have a bend toward selfish desires, we HAVE to lean into the Holy Spirit for help! He is specifically called our Helper, and He longs for you to ask for help.

The second thing you must do after asking for help is to starve your sinful cravings. Do not watch things that feed that lust for drama. Do not listen to music that emboldens that “screw the world” mentality. Do not follow comedians who embolden your dismissive and sarcastic mouth in conversations. Do not read material that fires you up and encourages you to trample on other people’s hearts. Starve the cravings.

Third, replace the negative input into your life with life-giving sources. Change your music playlist to things that feed your soul. Listen to the podcast during your commute that guides you toward God. Don’t miss church; prioritize it! Buy books that reinforce God’s goodness. Listen to or read your Bible. Shore up your soul with loving, Christ-centered friends. All of these actions will be empowered by the Holy Spirit, and soon you will be feeling different emotions, responses, and desires: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Application:

1. We simply cannot legislate that people like or love us. However, we can draw people to us. People who others are drawn to have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If you are lonely, do you fully embrace the fact God has the answer to your social dilemma?

2. If drama is something you use to get your way, you need to know that every time you use it, it has to be intensified to continue to get results. It becomes its own “cry wolf” monster. If you slam the door and walk out of the room in fight #1, slide into threatening divorce during fight #2, then you will have to pack a bag and drive away in fight #3 to get a response. It becomes less and less effective; therefore, it makes a lousy life skill. Are drama and manipulation habits you need to hand over to Jesus?

3. Great life skills are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Do you WANT to lead an attractive life? You must involve the Holy Spirit by asking.

4. The Holy Spirit is our solution for a thriving life of healthy relationships. He alone will lead you to know what true love is vs enabling, joy vs happiness, patience vs denial, kindness vs apathy, goodness vs acquiescing, faithfulness vs stuck, gentleness vs weakness, self-control vs need for control. Will you invite the Holy Spirit into your personality, and take advantage of the transformational power He offers?

Devo Plus:

Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil; joy fills hearts that are planning peace! (Proverbs 12:20, NLT)

Prayer:

Holy Spirit...I long to be filled by You. Flood every part of me with Your presence today so I can respond in the way I was designed, not the way I’m bent. Help me manifest the attributes only You can give, and give me the power to overcome evil desires. Amen.