Colossians 3:1-11 (ESV)

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Explanation:

In this passage, Paul reinforces to us that as believers, we are to pursue a relationship with Christ and stand in solidarity with Him. We should pursue a greater knowledge of who He is by seeking His kingdom and living a life that represents who He is and what He stands for. If we believe in Him, we are to make Him the center of our lives so we may live with Him eternally. Paul specifically calls the Colossians (and us) to break away from the sins of our past so we may live a life of fullness in Christ. Just as Christ died on the cross, we should put our sinful practices to death as well.

Paul also reminds us that at some point, unknown to any man, God will step into human history and hold everyone accountable. Those who live in evil will encounter eternity separated from God. We are called to change our wardrobe—take off our sinful nature, and put on a clean one, centered in Him. Paul emphasizes that it is not our background, religion, or heritage that binds us together; it is Jesus. Because of Him, we are bound together as one.

Application:

1. What is your favorite part of this passage? Is there something that stands out to you?

2. Paul speaks of many sins in the list above. Why do you think he focused specifically on these when he addressed the Colossians?

3. What part of your “earthly” wardrobe do you struggle with the most? (Is there a specific area causing you to fall that you are struggling to give up?)

Prayer Starter:

Spend time today asking God to help you put on a clean wardrobe and take off the sins of the past. Ask Him to reveal anything you may not be aware of that is keeping you tied to sin. Ask for forgiveness of those things that have held you from living in the fullness of His love.

Devo Plus:

To dive deeper into this topic, read Ephesians 4:22-24, Galatians 5:16-18, and 1 John 1:6-7.

Colossians 2:6-14 (NLT)

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.

When you came to Christ, you were “circumcised,” but not by a physical procedure. Christ performed a spiritual circumcision—the cutting away of your sinful nature. For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead.

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.

Explanation:

In this book of the Bible, we have a letter Paul wrote from prison to Christians in Colosse who were embracing false teaching. Some false teachers taught Jesus plus a little of philosophy, a little of other religions, and a little Greek thought. This became known as Gnosticism. Others taught mysticism, which is growth through visions. Others were promoting a heresy that stressed man-made rule, or legalism, while some taught asceticism, which is spiritual growth by discipline of the body.

Colossians was written for an embattled church, but it is full of timeless truth for us. Christ is the fullness of God and the ONLY source for living the Christian life. Christ has paid for sin, and Christ gives us the pattern and the power to grow our spirits. Since Christ is the head of us, we should nurture our vital connection to Him.

Simply put, it is Jesus plus nothing. Everything we need for spiritual life is found in Jesus.

Application:

Receiving Christ as Lord of your life is the beginning of life with Christ. BUT Paul says you must be rooted, built up, and strengthened in the faith. What practical things do you do to build yourself up and strengthen yourself in Christ?

Paul uses the illustration of being rooted in Christ. Just as plants draw their nourishment from the soil through their roots, so we draw ours from Christ. What plants have the greatest resistance to being uprooted? The answer is the ones with the deepest roots. When I garden, I can easily pull up weeds with my hand. However, trees require machines. Tree roots are vast and deep, which makes them strong. Do you know someone who stands solid in Christ, no matter what storms come their way? Why do you think they do? Is that person you?

There are many man-made approaches to life’s problems that totally disregard God. To resist heresy, you must use your mind, keep your eyes on Christ, and study God’s Word. Jewish males were circumcised as a sign of the Jew’s covenant with God. With the death of Christ, circumcision was no longer necessary. Now commitment is written on our hearts, not our bodies. Jesus sets us free by a spiritual operation, not a bodily one. Press in to Jesus for transformation of your life. He is true!

Prayer Starter:

Jesus, I long for stability and soundness in my life. Help me shed old patterns of coping and release tired ways of relating. I don’t want to be tossed by news and events in the world and my life. I don’t want to be waylaid by circumstances. I open my heart to You, Jesus, desiring to let the roots of my faith grow deep, deep in You. May the circumcision of my heart produce a steadfastness I have never known before. I ask for Your work in my life that I might truly know fullness in Christ.

Devo Plus:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on Jesus. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1-2, The Message)

I am a mountain girl. I love the view of snowcapped peaks kissing a blue sky. I enjoy a chairlift ride to a heavenly place that overlooks breathtaking landforms. Crisp air, the hot sun on a clear day can give me a peace I cannot explain. Luckily, I have also experienced a mountain-top spiritual awakening, and often reflect on all the beauty that surrounds us.

But I haven’t always been at the top of the world. Four years ago, this week actually, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. If that news wasn’t devastating enough, I also learned I carried the genetic mutation, BRCA 1, that would almost guarantee a cancerous spread. I had about two days to make some really hard decisions. Once my treatment was underway, I took to blogging to allow family and friends to keep up with my prognosis. At first, I tried to be witty and convince everyone I wasn’t scared or worried about my future here on earth. I guess I was also trying to secretly convince myself of the words I was writing. Somewhere in the middle of my chemotherapy treatment, my sister-in-law suggested I watch some of the sermons posted by the Lancaster Community Church. At the time, I was a long-standing member of another church, but was unable to attend in person. I was home most days alone. My routine consisted of getting up to see my kids and husband off to their busy days, and then spending the next several hours crying, feeling physical pain, and sinking further into a depressive state. I remember an unexplained desire, on a sunny February morning, to look up Pastor Matthew’s sermons on YouTube. I randomly chose one titled “The Valley,” which was part of the Places Series. In the video, Pastor Matthew asks his congregation to think about “how can a loving God allow suffering?” He goes on to say, “in our pain, there would be a purpose for suffering.”

“Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” (Romans 5:2-4 ESV)

Before I finished listening to that sermon, I was a shell of a person. Broken spirited, depressed, physically and mentally exhausted and hopeless. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking that even though I was in this deep valley, I was not alone. And, like any other valley, the only way out is to go up. So, I took that first step, knowing I wasn’t walking alone. The more I prayed and reflected on my “purpose,” the more determined I became to figure out how I would use this experience to better my life and the ones around me. The first part was just to be honest with my feelings and emotions. I shared my inner thoughts openly on my blog, and every day my outlook became brighter, with more purpose.

Friends, many of us are currently in a “valley.” The past few months have taken a toll on our social and emotional well-being, as well as our financial situations. I know that God will supernaturally get us out of this season. Just remember, there is a purpose! God is so good, so loving. He would not allow suffering if it wasn’t for a specific plan. Remember, you are not alone in the valley. He is with you always.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

Explanation:

Have you ever wondered how God felt about you? Ever been curious about what is most important to God? Well, look no further. Wonder no more. Today’s reading tells us where we can find a very clear picture and understanding of the heart of God. Where do we look? It is less of a “where” and more of a “Who.” We look to Jesus.

Our scripture reading today tells us that Jesus is the very image of the invisible God. Jesus is the model for our lives because He did precisely what we were designed to do. He demonstrated what a picture-perfect relationship with the Father can look like, which includes power, purpose, direction, hope, security, and so much more. Jesus is the ideal model for us. Therefore, God chose Jesus to be the One to carry out His perfect plan of restoring all that He originally wanted for His people. Everything Jesus did, everything He stood for, everything He communicated, the way He loved…was God in human form. Look to Jesus, for He is the “founder and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2) and what you see in Him will strengthen your relationship with the Father.

Application:

1. When you look at the life of Jesus, what does it tell you about the “invisible God”?

2. Why do you think Jesus was the best pick for God to use to show who He was?

3. How can looking to Jesus give you the perspective you need every day to remain in relationship with God?

Prayer Starter:

Jesus, I am so thankful God sent You to show me the heart of God and the way to live. Thank You for loving me in that way. Holy Spirit, help me to always look to Jesus, the One who shows us what true faith is like.

Devo Plus:

Read Hebrews 12:2. Why does it matter that Jesus is the founder and the perfecter of our faith? How does this direct us where to look in all seasons of our lives?

Colossians 1:9-14 (ESV)

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Explanation:

This is a letter Paul is writing to the Colossians. He is writing to encourage them to continue to live a life worthy of their calling. Since Paul has heard about their faithfulness to God, he has not stopped praying for them to continue to live out a life worth imitating. He prays that no matter the circumstances, they will continue to do good works, to do God’s work. He asks God to give them His wisdom, His knowledge, and His understanding. By seeking God and His wisdom, they will be able to continue to lead others to Jesus. Paul is hoping through his prayers and this letter, they will be encouraged, they will be strengthened. This will be a reminder to them to keep pressing on, so when they feel weak, they will seek and find their strength in the name of Jesus. When life is pressing and crushing, they will persevere and endure, knowing heaven is their ultimate reward.

I think this passage is a good reminder to us all, especially in the current season we find ourselves in. Keep pressing on, keep pushing through, keep living for Jesus…because this world is not what we are living for. We have been given a gift, a heavenly reward, and someday redemption will win. Keep bearing good fruit, keep seeking Jesus and His wisdom. Allow Him to be what fuels you. Live a life worthy of your calling. Live a life worth imitating.

Application:

1. Why is it important to seek God’s wisdom and understanding?

2. What things are you finding hard to endure currently?

How have you seen the strength of God working through you in this season?

3. Are you living a life worthy of your calling? If not, what do you need to change today?

Prayer Starter:

Jesus, we want to live a life worthy of our calling. We are your sons and daughters, and we want our lives to count for You. Will you give us the strength and endurance we need to make that happen? Will you fill us with Your wisdom, Your knowledge, and Your understanding? We know we can’t do this alone, so we are asking for Your strength to endure, for Your wisdom to guide us. And will You continually remind us that someday we will receive our reward, but for today, help us to live a life that is worthy and pleasing to You, a life worth imitating. Jesus, we love You. Amen.

Devo Plus:

Read Colossians 1:1-8 to get more insight into these passages.

This is the last week The Tree Church Daily Devotions will be going through a book of the Bible. Today’s devotion will be a brief overview of the book we are reading this week, then each following day will give you one of the main passages or themes found within that book. These books will be shorter and can be read in their entirety in a single sitting or two. I would encourage you to read the entire book on Sunday. It will help with your understanding of each individual passage you will look at over the following six days, but it will also give you a good taste of the different writings in the Bible. If you have any questions as you begin to read and walk through these books, please reach out to me at [email protected].

Pastor Chris

The book of Colossians is most notable for the Christ hymn in 1:15-20. Here, Paul establishes the cosmic significance of Jesus’s identity and work. From there, Colossians flows into practical implications for the life of the believer, as well as the church, of whom Christ is the “head” (1:18). Paul will bring into focus the “new life” Christians have been called to, and how they must “put to death” what is “earthly” and their old way of thinking, acting, and speaking. Paul closes the letter by establishing how the new life impacts even the family. Colossians is a Christ-centered book with practical thought on how the believer is changed by Christ and His work.

Application:

Read through the entire book of Colossians today.

Prayer Starter:

Jesus, You are the image of God. You best represent His heart, character, and conduct in this world. As we look to You, shape and change our lives so they reflect You in the same way You reflected the Father. Amen.

Devo Plus:

Make a list of the items that stick out to you as you read today.

Esther 8:1-8 (ESV)

On that day King Ahasuerus gave to Queen Esther the house of Haman, the enemy of the Jews. And Mordecai came before the king, for Esther had told what he was to her. 2 And the king took off his signet ring, which he had taken from Haman, and gave it to Mordecai. And Esther set Mordecai over the house of Haman.

3 Then Esther spoke again to the king. She fell at his feet and wept and pleaded with him to avert the evil plan of Haman the Agagite and the plot that he had devised against the Jews. 4 When the king held out the golden scepter to Esther, Esther rose and stood before the king. 5 And she said, “If it please the king, and if I have found favor in his sight, and if the thing seems right before the king, and I am pleasing in his eyes, let an order be written to revoke the letters devised by Haman the Agagite, the son of Hammedatha, which he wrote to destroy the Jews who are in all the provinces of the king. 6 For how can I bear to see the calamity that is coming to my people? Or how can I bear to see the destruction of my kindred?” 7 Then King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther and to Mordecai the Jew, “Behold, I have given Esther the house of Haman, and they have hanged him on the gallows,[a] because he intended to lay hands on the Jews. 8 But you may write as you please with regard to the Jews, in the name of the king, and seal it with the king's ring, for an edict written in the name of the king and sealed with the king's ring cannot be revoked.”

Explanation:

Haman had worked really hard to work his way to the top, to being the “right hand man” to the king. But because of his actions, in one moment, it is all taken away. Now Esther and her family are proclaiming the top seat and the victory. Esther’s cousin who had adopted her, Mordacai takes Haman’s place, but there is still one last thing Esther needs.

The decree to execute the Jews is still in place. Esther pleas with the king to revoke it, but because of the law even the king couldn’t revoke this decree. It might seem as though there is nothing that can be done, but in typical God working fashion, we see there is still a way. Another decree can be written to override the one already written. So this is exactly what they do. The king seals it and gives it his approval. The people of God are saved!

God used Esther to save His people. They have claimed the victory and are now protected under this new decree. As I reflect on this story I see God’s hand at work in every small detail, working out His plan of redemption and victory. And He is doing the same today. Although now many of the details don’t make sense to us, someday we will look back and it will all make sense. In that moment I hope that we too can look back and see how God was working it all out for our good and to give us the victory.

Application:

1. What have you learned from reading the story of Esther?

2. What is something you are facing right now that feels or seems scary?

3. How do you think God has already claimed the victory over this area or decision in your life?

4. What steps do you need to take today to trust God and to face that scary thing ahead?

Prayer Starter:

God, will you give us strength and courage today, just like you did Esther. We are facing so many unknowns, so many scary situations right now. Will you please be with us and give us the faith like Esther? God, we know that you have already proclaimed the victory, but today we need that reminder. Please continue to lead and guide us. Helps us to take those scary steps today so we can experience more of you and the victory you want to claim over our situation and our lives. We know that with You our lives are in good hands. Remind us of your love and that you are working every little detail out for our good. We love you Lord. Amen.

Devo Plus:

Read the rest of the book of Esther (8:9-17, chapter 9 and 10) to see how the story concludes.

Esther 7:1-6

So the king and Haman went in to the feast with Queen Esther. And on the second day, as they were drinking wine after the feast the king again said to Esther, “what is your wish, Queen Esther? It shall be granted you. And what is your request? Even to the half of my kingdom, it shall be fulfilled.” Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor in your sight, O king, and if it please the king, let my life be granted me for my wish, and my people for my request. For we have been sold, I and my people, to be destroyed, to be killed, and to be annihilated. If we had been sold merely as slaves, men and women, I would have been silent, for our affliction is not to be compared with the loss to the king.” Then King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther, “Who is he, and where is he, who has dared to do this?” And Esther said, “A foe and enemy! This wicked Haman!” Then Haman was terrified before the king and queen.

Explanation:

Our verses from Esther today allow us to see her plan unfold. Passionate and calculated, she laid it all on the line…down to her life. But isn’t this really the courage we’re asked for today? To follow God is to lay our lives on the line, and that takes courage. Courage to love no matter what is returned. Courage to step out with how God leads, even if when it’s against the grain. Courage to stand for Jesus, even if you stand alone. To follow Christ is to be courageous, and make no mistake, your call is like Esther’s. The eternal lives of people are at stake. Our brothers and sisters who don’t yet know they have a Father, need lead home. But courage is your own decision…in the face of fear and uncertainty, will you trust and move forward anyway?

Application:

1. Take some time to remember the faithfulness of God. Remember the Old Testament examples God left for us to remind us of how He comes through for his people time and time again. And thank Him that He left this picture to en-courage you.

2. Are their any areas in your personal life that have been avoided because it’s hard to find the courage to confront it? Confess these to Jesus who is always waiting and graceful and willing to help you obey.

3. Remember the big picture of the gospel; that Jesus, Christ came to seek and to save the lost. His mission was always the will of the Father. Pray consistently this week for the courage and clarity to have the same mission in your life.

Prayer Starter:

God, You are so incredible faithful. We have seen you work in our lives before. Remind us daily of the ways you have been faithful. Remind us that as your children You not only love us, but that you also will provide and take care of us. When we feel fear creep back in will you give us the courage to keep walking the path you have called us to. In Your might name we pray. Amen.

Devo Plus:

Remember these verses and place them in visible spots around your house.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you

Psalm 21:7 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Esther 4:1-3, 6-16 (ESV)

When Mordecai learned all that had been done, Mordecai tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and he cried out with a loud and bitter cry. 2 He went up to the entrance of the king's gate, for no one was allowed to enter the king's gate clothed in sackcloth. 3 And in every province, wherever the king's command and his decree reached, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting and weeping and lamenting, and many of them lay in sackcloth and ashes. Hathach went out to Mordecai in the open square of the city in front of the king's gate, 7 and Mordecai told him all that had happened to him, and the exact sum of money that Haman had promised to pay into the king's treasuries for the destruction of the Jews. 8 Mordecai also gave him a copy of the written decree issued in Susa for their destruction,[a] that he might show it to Esther and explain it to her and command her to go to the king to beg his favor and plead with him[b] on behalf of her people. 9 And Hathach went and told Esther what Mordecai had said. 10 Then Esther spoke to Hathach and commanded him to go to Mordecai and say, 11 “All the king's servants and the people of the king's provinces know that if any man or woman goes to the king inside the inner court without being called, there is but one law—to be put to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter so that he may live. But as for me, I have not been called to come in to the king these thirty days.”12 And they told Mordecai what Esther had said. 13 Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think to yourself that in the king's palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. 14 For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” 15 Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, 16 “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.

Explanation:

Mordecai has just learned that because he would not bow down to another man, that man, Haman, tricked the king into issuing an edict to kill all of the Jews. In an expression of incredible grief, Mordecai went out where everyone could see him, tore his clothes, and put ashes on his head—an expression of very deep mourning. He cried out in a way that other people heard him, but he was also crying out to God. Every place a Jew was found, they were to be destroyed on site. Mordecai shared the order with Esther, whom the king was not aware was also a Jew. If the edict was carried out, she would be killed as well. Mordecai knew, however, that the king loved Esther, and encouraged her to go and beg the king for mercy for her people. Under the law of that time, if a person approached the king when they had not been called to do so, the king had the right to kill them. Esther faced a great risk—her life was at the mercy of the king. The only exception to that rule was if the king reached out his scepter to her, she could live and be able to speak to him. Mordecai was sure that God was going to stop the murder of the Jews, even if it meant Esther sacrificing her life for her people. Mordecai believed that Esther was chosen by the king because God had placed her there to help her people (the Jews).

When Esther made the decision to go to the king, she knew it could mean her death. She asked those around her to pray and fast for her safety. She made it known that what was most important to her was not life or death, but for her life to have a purpose. She knew that this was her time—she was born for such a time as this.

Application

1. Google the song “The Anthem”, by Jesus Culture & Jake Hamilton. Listen to the lyrics or use this YouTube link that follows to see the lyrics on the screen as you listen to it. Take a moment to reflect and understand that you really were born for such a time as this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzmFSBmrd1Y

2. Put yourself in Esther’s shoes. Reflect on her statement “if I perish, I perish.” She was willing to risk her life for her fellow Jews. Can you connect her words to the importance of cooperating with God regardless of your situation?

Prayer:

Ask God to search your heart and help you understand that He has a specific purpose for your life. Ask Him to help you remember that He is in control, and that our call is to submit to Him and cooperate even when the situation is difficult.

Devo Plus:

Read Isaiah 33:6 and Proverbs 16:4a for further insight

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. 6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. - 2 Corinthians 5:1-9

We are in a season where things are just not in our control, aren’t we? The decisions we face today not only impact us, but impact everyone around us. That’s a lot of pressure! I have been faced with some tough situations throughout my life that I had to take a step of faith and fully trust that God was in control of the outcome, no matter the decision. As many of you know, I lost a child, Vera, 9 years ago. I will never forget getting the phone call at work that she wasn’t breathing and to go straight to the hospital. I never felt more out of control of my situation than right then and there. As information came pouring into my husband and I, we were faced with having to make decisions without answering what we wanted to know the most. We had to trust that God had a plan through the whole process, and His answers to our prayers were enough, no matter the answer. That was more like a faith roller coaster ride that lasted a week rather than a step.

But we stepped off that roller coaster and got right back on the next one. We found out I was expecting. I was so scared. I didn’t have any answers as to what happened to my little girl. I was physically and emotionally drained, and now, the success of another life was fully dependent on me alone. I remember at my first doctor appointment breaking down in tears. The doctor asked if I had any questions, and all I could muster up with tear filled eyes was, “How am I supposed to do this again? I barely have strength for myself. What can I do to guarantee this child will thrive and not end the same way?!” The doctor reminded me to take it all one step at a time. That it was his responsibility to keep me and the baby healthy until delivery and to start there. And I prayed, A LOT! Shortly before Vera passed, I was starting to feel an urge to be a stay at home mom. I didn’t give it much time in prayer or listening to God about it. I just chalked it up as a desire and not a whisper from God to act. It became the primary topic of conversation in our home and in my prayers. So many things we had to consider. Whether we could survive on one income was a big one. How long would I stay at home? A big gap in employment raises lots of questions, but would I feel comfortable going back to work? I had to step down some of my own pride. I was proud of where I had gotten in my career. I was successful and a key component to how things were run in our office. I was being called to give that up, and honestly, I didn’t want to. As I got closer to the end of my pregnancy, I knew the right choice. I met with my boss and created an exit plan.

Less than 10 months after Vera passed, we welcomed our baby girl, Nadia, into our crazy world. My husband and I decided that no matter what we would make sure the kids were with one of us until Nadia started school. I was lucky enough to get accepted as a substitute teacher and was able to be in the same school as the kids for a little while. Talk about not being in control! It’s someone else’s classroom, lesson plan, schedule, and the kids know it, too. I enjoyed it, most of the time, but I needed something more consistent. I was struggling to be something I am not. But who was I now? I had a business degree and wanted to apply for so many jobs but the ones I really wanted weren’t a good fit for our family. I was approached and asked if I would ever consider working at the church. I was a mega volunteer and loved my church, but it never crossed my mind that I would be qualified enough to be a part of church staff. I spent a lot of time praying about it, and the longer I waited to see if a job offer would come, the more excited I got. Excited because God was walking me back through everything that gotten me to this point. He reminded me of the faith steps I had to take. That we had trusted in His plan, walked in obedience, and that His plan was leading up to this exact moment in time. He gave us the courage and strength, the resources, all of it to get us to where we are now.

As you know now, I was offered a position and accepted it. I accepted a job that I wasn’t confident on what I had to bring. Severely uneducated in ministry, but completely qualified by God. I had to continue to trust that God was with me and through faith, have confidence in His plan and timing. All of my prior experiences were necessary to prepare me for each day. God gifted me with the faith to trust in Him. The outcome of His plan has been so much more rewarding than the angst it took to take the first step. And how is that possible? It’s possible because He is pleased with faith and obedience. A step into faith is always the right direction.