On Today's episode, Patrick and Ted dive deep into attachment styles and how it shapes our relationships and self-understanding. They look at the origins of attachment style, the "Strange Situation", and the different categories people fall into. They also discuss their own attachment styles, how their styles have impacted relationships, and strategies to combat the difficulties your attachment styles may bring you. Enjoy!

Listen to us on Megaphone (or find our RSS Feed!): https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/VI9326253269?selected=VI1151133526

Learn more about attachment styles: attachmentproject.com

Dr. Kirk Honda: https://www.youtube.com/c/PsychologyInSeattle

One option to find a therapist (changeable locations): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Another option (UK only):

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Slutstack podcast: https://sluts.substack.com/p/slutstack-ep1

Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:27 - Attachment Theory

00:02:24 - Attachment specialists in the therapy world + attachmentproject.com

00:03:23 - Dr. Kirk Honda - Psychology in Seattle

00:04:33 - Attachment theory overview

00:05:45 - Questions about the research

00:07:19 - The “Strange Situation”

00:08:00 - The procedure and roles

00:09:09 - Categories of attachment and what they mean

00:11:58 - We are not locked into these categories

00:13:12 - Engagement preferences

00:13:52 - What these styles look like in adulthood

00:14:51 - You seek out the familiar in relationships

00:16:19 - The first time you have a healthy relationship it feels WRONG

00:16:48 - How anxiously attached people handle things

00:18:10 - Ted’s experience with making choices

00:19:18 - Certain styles make you prone to self sabotage + Anxious vs avoidant behaviors

00:20:52 - Avoidant people and independence + Extreme stress

00:23:11 - Disorganized attachment is a little bit of both

00:24:18 - Ted being mildly avoidant + experiences

00:25:59 - Rejection and attachment styles

00:28:14 - Patrick’s attachment styles vs his wife’s

00:30:09 - Anger and conflict resolution

00:31:34 - Argumentational style

00:33:52 - Anxious people can remain calm yet be mad for a long time

00:34:51 - Avoidance and being afraid to get too close

00:37:02 - Secure could actually be avoidant

00:38:21 - Are things bugging you?

00:39:09 - Hedonism’s real meaning

00:39:58 - Avoiding highs and lows vs. choosing potential pain

00:41:47 - Start by recognizing within yourself

00:43:20 - Recognizing red flags

00:44:37 - Donkeys in our comments (just a few!)

00:47:33 - Attachment styles compared to medicine

00:50:10 - Ted’s thoughts on the back metaphor + Yoga

00:52:10 - There’s no magic bullet and CBT

00:53:18 - The power of writing things down

00:55:22 - Are we stuck with out attachment styles?

00:56:13 - Recognizing patterns

00:58:37 - Resisting our impulses and instinctive reactions

01:03:26 - Look at the core beliefs you have developed

01:05:04 - Ted’s worry about being alone

01:06:23 - He knows it’s incorrect, but can’t get it out of his head

01:07:01 - The process yields results

01:08:25 - Look for resources produced by people in the field of psychology

01:10:26 - B-Roll (Slutstack, Patrick’s haircut, Pajama rich, and Ted’s hair)