A quick thought on relationships...

We are always scaling up or down trying to find our true love. What I mean by the term scaling, is that whether it be beauty, social status, age or money/ power, while looking for our match sometimes we go up or down to fulfill certain needs.

Sometimes we are always trying to scale up and left with disappointment and loneliness. It may be because we see ourselves differently than who we really are….or, maybe we see ourselves as who we used to be.

Sometimes out of frustration and loneliness, we scale down. Everyone needs love, so in a time of need, we scale down to fulfill basic needs. What I mean by that is not just sexual needs but also needs for companionship.

Many times when you are scaling up or down, you end up hurting others or being hurt. You needed to fulfill a need, but now that need is fulfilled and you don’t want that need with that person any longer. That causes hurt for the ones who were scaling up as you ghost them and they cant figure out what they did wrong. That then manifests into all sort of other internal burdens about how we then think of ourselves.

So, what is the solution? Should we always just stick to our class and fight the need for immediate needs? I don’t think so. I think we need to do two things. We need to at first acknowledge which direction we are going. As humbling as it may be, if you recognize you are scaling up, then give yourself the proper expectations, or as I have written about before, have NO expectations. “I recognize this person is scaling down as they probably have an immediate need for companionship, so I will allow it and know that the length of this engagement may not be as long as what I would like…but, I am OK with it.” The next thing we should do is TALK about it. We need to be transparent with our intentions.

Scaling up or down without being conscience of what is going on can bring pain. However, if you open up your awareness to what things actual are, then maybe both parties can still win.