Christa was born into River Road Fellowship. In our final conversation, she remembers how she first realized she was in a cult, and tells us parts of the story we haven’t covered yet.

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A year and a half after our first interview, we sit down with Lindsay one last time to ask her the questions you’ve been wondering about.

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PART TEN - “There were moments when I remember being in such a dark place, feeling so hopeless, and the curiosity of the next day I think helped keep me going. It doesn't matter how dark the day is. Just be curious about tomorrow.”

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PART NINE - "The trees would be swaying, and you could almost feel the leaves moving. Maybe we would start humming, making up a melody. The worries and the fear just melted away. All the bad things, and all the good things, none of it mattered. I could sit back and relax and breathe. It was this moment of just feeling – safe and almost – loved by her. just a true sister and friend, not feeling judged or afraid. It felt like we were the only two people in the world in that moment."

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Content note: This episode discusses suicide.

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PART EIGHT - “It was absolutely the one thing – the one thing, if I can pick one thing – it is the one thing that allowed me to begin to heal.”

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Content note: This episode includes a discussion of child sexual abuse.

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PART SEVEN - “When I think of it now, it was almost like he prophesied his own demise. For all those years, Victor was the predator and I was the prey. And then he became the prey."

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Content note: This episode includes a discussion of child sexual abuse and self-harm.

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PART SIX - “It was like I was kept underground for so long and then just spit out at 23. I call it when I entered the real world. And it was a whole other world than what it had been.”

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Content note: This episode includes a discussion of child sexual abuse and self-harm.

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PART FIVE - "I was totally in. Totally committed. Ready to take a bullet for him if needed."

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Content note: This episode includes a discussion of the dynamics of child sexual abuse.

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PART FOUR - “He would say, 'Lindsay is the old flesh, and you need to become a new man in Christ. Lindsay has to die.'”

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Content note: This episode includes a discussion of fatphobia, extreme dieting and disordered eating behaviors.

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PART THREE - “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

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Content note: This episode includes a description of child sexual abuse.

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