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The Turtle Club
The Turtle Club episodes
- S5Ep9 - Sorcerer (1977)
The club discusses the forgotten 1977 classic SORCERER! Alan presents another edition of the burn report while Elle and Eli beg mercy for their friend from himself.
The Good? We are at one of the last episodes of Alan recording from the backseat of a Honda Accord!
The Bad? Alans audio has a pretty bad lag that gets the conversation tripped up from time-to-time.
The Ugly? Alans fucked up burnt skin.46 min - S5Ep8 - Rap World (2024)
The hosts discuss the masterpiece that is Rap World... for about 10 minutes. They then reveal that they are, indeed, all former scumbags.
Spoiler alert: They eventually admit they are proud of none of it.
email [email protected]
1 hr 5 min - S5Ep7 - Killswitch (2008)
The gang is back at it, this time to review Steven Seagals baffling classic, Killswitch! They may not talk about the movie much but boy howdy, do they love talking about Steven Seagal.
Songs From The Crystal Cave available wherever you stream music!
Email us at [email protected]
58 min - S5Ep6(7) - Godzilla Vs Megalon (1973)
Listen. Were there lots of technical issues resulting in lost audio? Yes.
Are there chunks of the conversation missing? For sure.
Did we cut together 35 minutes of a cohesive conversation about Godzilla Vs Megalon? You could say that.
Are we in the final few episodes of Alan recording from the backseat of his Honda in a shitty parking lot? Thankfully.Did we make it up to you by adding audio of Godzillas stand-up special Comedy Minus One Equals Godzilla? You bet your sweet ass we did.
Did Alan think he deleted the whole project just to discover he was zoomed way in? Sadly, soberly, yez.
44 min - S5Ep5 - Dunston Checks in (1996)
Our brothers (and sister) in Christ (pronounced ch-rised) discuss the 1996 film Dunston Checks in, Elles mother being a liar, Alan being fat and Eli believing in the magic of spotlights. Also: the death of Owen Hart and Surf & Turf combos.
e-mail us at [email protected] to hear your questions, comments & hatred on the podcast!
50 min - S5Ep4 - Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Ever wonder what it would be like if cocaine made a movie? With a cash-grab AC/DC soundtrack?
Trucks come to life? That would suck!!!
email us at [email protected]
53 min - S5Ep3 - Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
Our hosts Did not watch Bloodfist 3 due to a shift in the timeline thanks to the devious Lee Wormy Oswald. They instead discuss the 1986 John Carpenter masterpiece, Oscar snub Big Trouble in Little China. Anyone in the mood for 5 Guys? Anyone see that movie Heretic?
43 min - S5Ep2 - Tremors (1990)
Jeroid appears on "Today" with Bryant Gumbel, but must wear a silly shirt as the result of a misunderstanding with Kramoid's "low talker" girlfriend; Georgoid moves in with his parents.
33 min - S5Ep1 - Jurassic Park (1993)
With all that dead weight gone, our remaining hosts let loose on 1993s hit feature, Jurassic Park! They discuss the movie more than ever!
Email [email protected] for suggestions, questions and donations (please).
45 min - S4Ep24: 2025 Wrap-Up (Timeline mix-up)
Our hosts wrap up the final full year for the Turtle Club, we say goodbye to Migel and hello to our former president.
Stay tuned for extended seasons and email [email protected] for answers to all questions with any and all timelines.
49 min
About The Turtle Club
From the publisher's feed
Four (Three + in memoriam friend) pals with too much time on their hands have decided to pick movies to force the others to watch. 2 movies a month for 2026! Happy listening!