Don't forget your flamethrowers, it's time to enter The Hive...

This episode, we're discussing Paul W. S. Anderson's adaptation of the ground-breaking video game phenomenon, Resident Evil. We cover the thrill of playing horror video games, the genius of amnesia and Michelle Rodriguez having an absolute blast. 

“It takes a while for her to turn into a zombie because she's fucking nails.” - Ed

“We know he's different from the other men, because he's got a blue shirt on” - Gould

“Fuck you, you gorgeous, talented bitch” - Gould

Link:

The Fifth Element 🔗 Resident Evil

Mila Jovovic

Help save the UK's oldest working cinema

Apologies for Gould's sound on this one, we think it was the Red Queen...

CONTENT WARNING – No issues here

SPOILER WARNING – All good

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Hello and welcome to this first Off The Chain episode of The Unbreakable Movie Chain. This time out we chat Denis Villeneuve’s epic Dune 2, Alex Garland’s horrifying Civil War and Dev Patel’s kick-ass directorial debut Monkey Man.

Also, there’ve been two scary nun movies (one good, one bad) and two lesbians-on-the-road crime movies (one good, one bad) for us to delve into!

But wait, there’s more!! We have two barking-mad Nicolas Cage home-watches to recommend.

Trailer zone

Maxxxine

The Fall Guy

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Twisters

Fancy Dance

Firebrand

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Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Mila Jovovic? That’s right, Ed’s showing his age by banging on about Captain Planet again as we try to make sense of Luc Besson’s whacky sci-fi adventure The Fifth Element. Featuring the human torso, classic farce and Chris Tucker being far, far too much.

Also

• Treasure hunting in CEX

“It’s not nourishing, it’s a packet of McDonald’s chips.” - Gould

“His films are very stylish, but they’re just the surface.” - Ed

“I love the androgyny of it.” - Gould

Link:

Unbreakable 🔗 The Fifth Element

The iconic Bruce Willis

Help save the UK's oldest working cinema

CONTENT WARNING – No issues here

SPOILER WARNING – All good

Please do like, follow and review on your podcast platform of choice.

Also, we’d love to hear from you, get in touch via any of the following channels:

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Get ready for a twist! This week we’re covering our first M. Night Shyamalan movie:  2000’s real-world superhero flick, Unbreakable. All seems to be going well until Ed starts picking at the threads. Featuring shattered bones, shoddy parenting and vaguely-defined superpowers!

“None of it makes a drop of sense.” - Ed

“M. Night Shyamalan has got a gift when it comes to working with child actors.” - Gould

“David Dunn might be the single dumbest protagonist I’ve ever encountered in anything.” - Ed

Also

• American Fiction, The Zone of Interest and The Iron Claw

Link:

The Fast and The Furious 🔗 Unbreakable

Directors who make cameos in their own films

Trailers of the week:

Monkey Man

Love Lies Bleeding

Immaculate

Civil War

Sex Lives of The Potato Men revisited

CONTENT WARNING – No issues here

SPOILER WARNING – All good

Please do like, follow and review on your podcast platform of choice.

Also, we’d love to hear from you, get in touch via any of the following channels:

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Brum brum brum. Fasten your seat belts, we’re off drag-racing around Southern California with one of the stupidest movies we’ve ever had the pleasure to absolutely rinse over a couple of pints. That’s right, it’s the The Fast and The Furious. Featuring: Cars, babes, and other things fourteen year old boys like to stare at.

“Vin Diesel is this juvenile petrolhead Fagin with all these boring car nerd children.” - Gould

“I didn’t expect to be as bored as I was.” - Ed

“Surely they could have come up with a different name for the big race in the desert than Race Wars.” - Gould

Also:

Chaplin and the Marx Brothers

Ashley Judd movies

Ed attempts some maths, it doesn’t go well

Link:

Pleasantville 🔗 The Fast and The Furious

Paul Walker performances

Youtube Hole:

Charlie Chaplin - City Lights, Boxing Match

Charlie Chaplin - Modern Times, Factory Scene

Charlie Chaplin - The Gold Rush, Roll Dance

Marx Brothers - Duck Soup, Mirror Scene

Marx Brothers - A Night At The Opera, Contract Routine

Classic Trailer Of The Week:

The Dirty Dozen (1967)

CONTENT WARNING – Nothing to worry about

SPOILER WARNING – We’re getting better at this, no spoilers for other movies

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Also, we’d love to hear from you, get in touch via any of the following channels:

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Take the phone off the hook and the plastic off the couch! This week we’re opening up our cosy, black and white existence to the seductive danger of colour. That’s right, we’re covering one of Ed’s all time favourites… Pleasantville. Featuring: the warm greeting, proper nutrition and, of course, safe sex.

Also:

• Poor Things

“Watching it through this time, I got really emotional.” - Gould

“Joan Allen delivers arguably the greatest masturbation scene in cinema history.” - Ed

“What is this organisation of small, old TV repairmen going round implanting modern teenagers into 1950s sitcoms?” - Gould

Link:

The Wizard of Oz 🔗Pleasantville

The mixing of black & white and colour cinematography for storytelling purposes

CONTENT WARNING – Nothing to see here

SPOILER WARNING – Not a one

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The Wizard of Oz (1939)

I don’t think we’re in our cupboards anymore! This week, we’re strapping on our ruby slippers and hitting the yellow brick road to find out if there really is no place like home. That’s right, it’s time for a certified classic… we’re watching The Wizard of Oz! Featuring apple fights, homesickness, and “I want” songs!

A word of warning. One of us quite strongly took against this film, while we wouldn’t normally warn you of this, we are aware of how important The Wizard of Oz may be to some of you, and we don’t want to cause any hurt. As ever, our opinions are just those of two idiots.

Also:

• A somewhat unkind digression on Johnny Flynn (sorry Johnny)

“I was surprised by how much I hated it.” - Gould

“I think it’s a cold, cold heart that can’t be warmed by The Wizard of Oz” - Ed

“I find the munchkins really upsetting to look at.” - Ed

Link:

The Bad and The Beautiful 🔗The Wizard of Oz

Art Director (and serial Oscar winner) Cedric Gibbons

Content Warning – Contains discussion of outdated language regarding little people. 

Spoiler Warning – A spoiler for Roald Dahl’s Matilda. Potentially a spoiler for One Life. 

Judy Garland and Ray Bolger reminisce

Judy Garland and Ray Bolger singing If I Only Had A Brain

Sir Nicholas Winton on That's Life

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“If you dream, dream big”. This week we’re taking one last look at the studio system, this time it’s Vincente Minnelli’s multiple Oscar-winner The Bad and the Beautiful, from 1952 – a tale of Hollywood ambition and betrayal starring Kirk Douglas and Lana Turner. Featuring eavesdropped phone calls, drunken starlets and OSCARS!!

Also:

Festive comfort watches

Bleak crime drama

The Boy and the Heron

“He’s a big success as a producer, and we know this because he’s grown a moustache.” - Ed

“There’s something interesting in them as 1950s nepo-babies.” - Gould

“It took me quite a while to realise Lana Turner was Lana Turner.” - Gould

Link

Barton Fink 🔗The Bad and the Beautiful

Depictions of the Hollywood studio system

CONTENT WARNING – The movie contains a suicide attempt, which we discuss

SPOILER WARNING – Should be fine here

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Ho ho ho! We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Now that the festivities are out of the way, it’s time to pull the Movie Chain crystal ball out of the attic, and gaze upon the wonders that 2024 promises to inflict upon the movie-going public. Turns out there’s a lot to get excited for, including new offerings from Bong Joon-Ho, Jonathan Glazer and Yorgos Lanthimos.

But first we have to cut a path through a thicket of sequels, prequels, reboots, spin-offs and other cash-ins from the Franchise Nightmare Universe. We do just that, so you know what to look out for in the new year!

“I don’t think there’s a more try-hard actor in Hollywood than Ryan Reynolds.” - Ed

“He’s somehow been allowed to make another feast of antisemitism… I have nothing but contempt for that movie.” - Ed

“At least there was a handy child planted in the first film that they could use as a grown-up.” - Gould

CONTENT WARNING – A lot of potentially controversial opinions in this episode. Including on Ryan Reynolds, Planet of the Apes, Mel Gibson and many others. Come at us.

SPOILER WARNING – Here’s a spoiler… 2024 will feature a lot of films you’ve basically already seen.

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Also, we’d love to hear from you, get in touch via any of the following channels:

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Checking in? This episode we're feeling the heat and peeling back the wallpaper to take a look at the Coen Brothers' early masterpiece, Barton Fink. What's in the box? It may look like a long one, but the last 15 minutes of this ep are dedicated to a spoilery Saltburn stand-off.

Also:

Napoleon, The Peasants and some tough truths about 2001: A Space Odyssey.

"The Common Man is a choir of Fishmongers" - Gould

"That's what his job is, is to suffer" - Ed

"I'll just be a writer then. Rather than a WRITER" - Ed

Link

Mulholland Drive 🔗Barton Fink

Nightmarish depictions of Hollywood

CONTENT WARNING – Brief allusions to murder

SPOILER WARNING – Potential spoilers for Se7en and The Sixth Sense, but it could be one of those "if you know, you know" things.

Please do like, follow and review.

Also, we’d love to hear from you, get in touch via any of the following channels:

Email - [email protected]