Puritan poet Anne Bradstreet once said, “Wisdom without an inheritance is better than an inheritance without wisdom.”

Every parent hopes to leave an inheritance for their children, but doing so wisely takes careful thought and prayer. Today, Ron Blue joins us to discuss the Uniqueness Principle and how it can guide parents in passing down wealth effectively.

Ron Blue is the Co-Founder of Kingdom Advisors and the author of many books on biblical finance, including Splitting Heirs: Giving Your Money and Things to Your Children Without Ruining Their Lives.

The Uniqueness Principle: Equal Love, Unique Treatment

Probably every parent of more than one child has asked, “How can children coming from the same two parents, with the same gene pool, living in the same environment, with the same stimuli…be so different?” Of course, we all know that estate planning can be challenging, and we understand the desire to be fair. However, the answer lies in what Ron Blue calls the Uniqueness Principle: Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely.

If we think about how God treats us, He loves us all equally and treats us uniquely. In other words, God doesn’t give everyone the same gifts, challenges, or circumstances—and maybe we shouldn't either when planning our estates.

One child may have greater needs, and another may be wiser in handling money. Those realities need to be part of the decision-making process for transferring wealth. Each of my children is different financially, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Over the years, Ron and his wife, Judy, have allocated varying amounts to each of them, taking into account their individual needs and life circumstances. Good stewardship means recognizing these differences and allocating resources accordingly.

Fairness vs. Favoritism: Learning from Scripture

Many parents worry about resentment among their children if they don’t divide assets evenly. The best way to handle this is through clear communication. Open and honest conversations while you’re alive can help your children understand your reasoning and prevent misunderstandings. Explaining your heart and thought process fosters unity and clarity.

As parents, we need to work diligently to avoid favoritism. Rightfully so, as favoritism has caused much pain and divisiveness in families for thousands of years. Look at the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. The Bible says that his father, Jacob, "loved Joseph more than any of his other sons" (Genesis 37:3). Jacob later gave Joseph a richly ornamented coat of many colors. 

Although Jacob had unique treatment toward Joseph, Jacob violated the Uniqueness Principle. Jacob did not love his sons equally. Equal love often requires unique treatment. As stewards of God’s resources, we are called to manage them wisely, ensuring that our decisions reflect both love and responsibility.

The Three Questions That Changed Everything

That said, we aren’t saying that it is better to leave different amounts to children. Instead, following a systematic process is the key to wise decisions. When making wealth transfer plans, Ron encourages parents to ask themselves three key questions:

It’s helpful to ask yourself three questions:

1. What is the worst (or best) thing that can happen if I transfer wealth to this child?
2. How serious is it? 
3. How likely is it to occur? 

The purpose of these questions is not to arrive at a predetermined answer. You may end up distributing assets to your children equally or disproportionately, but that’s not the objective of these questions. The goal is to guide you toward a well-thought-out decision.

Ultimately, wealth transfer should reflect God’s wisdom, not just human emotions. We are accountable to Him for how we allocate His resources. Factors such as financial need, spiritual maturity, and life circumstances should all be prayerfully considered.

So, should you leave different amounts to your children? Maybe. Maybe not. The key is to seek God’s wisdom, ask the right questions, and make decisions that honor Him and bless your family in the best way possible.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

• How do I restructure my finances since I was terminated from my position and am no longer working?
• I have $700,000 and want to invest in a variable annuity with a 20% buffer. Is this a good idea?
• I received correspondence requesting a vote to approve the reorganization and merger of my mutual fund shares into a new account. How do I evaluate what factors to consider when making this vote?
• How do we balance stewarding our money well and living radically generously?

Resources Mentioned:

• Faithful Steward: FaithFi’s New Quarterly Magazine
• Redeeming Money: How God Reveals and Reorients Our Hearts by Paul David Tripp
• Splitting Heirs: Giving Your Money and Things to Your Children Without Ruining Their Lives by Ron Blue with Jeremy White
• Wisdom Over Wealth: 12 Lessons from Ecclesiastes on Money (Pre-Order)
• Look At The Sparrows: A 21-Day Devotional on Financial Fear and Anxiety
• Rich Toward God: A Study on the Parable of the Rich Fool
• Find a Certified Kingdom Advisor (CKA) or Certified Christian Financial Counselor (CertCFC)
• FaithFi App

Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every workday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.

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