The Unraveling Together Podcast

During one of my spiritual pleadings early on in perimenopause, I vowed that I would not let another woman suffer through peri like I was, if I just made it through it!   Ever pray to the porcelain gods?  It was like that but the nauseating head-spinning feeling did not end in 24 hours or less... I was having a very difficult go at it and looking back, I’m not sure how I held on in the beginning.  I’m still in the throes of peri, but I am no longer suffering, nor am I going it alone.  And you don’t have to either. I found that the source of my suffering was awash in stress, wading in past trauma, and clinging for dear life to the side of the hormone pool.   Once I dialed in a workable approach to all three aspects at the core of my suffering, I began to heal, really heal.   I’ve experienced, and continue to experience, the kind of healing I’d only flirted with before.  

I thought I was “doing the work” by attending seminar after seminar, reading book after book, and taking course after course.  I was just rearranging the furniture in a hoarder’s house.   If I only knew then what I know now.   Though Brené Brown says you cannot manage an unraveling in her seminal blog post, "The Midlife Unraveling", I believe you can minimize the fallout.   In this episode I share how I put an end to my suffering by getting my head, my heart, and my body into congruence.  As a result, the suffering stopped.  And the clean up from the unforeseeable and unanticipated fallout continues.  

“You can’t read the label from inside the jar.”

A phrase I initially heard from a wise business coach.  And though thought-provoking, not until years later have I understood the wisdom it imparts.  

In a nutshell the phrase means we can’t see what’s transpiring when we’re in the thick of it (in the jar).  From relationships, to business, to perimenopause, when we’re smack dab in the middle of it, it is challenging to gain perspective (read the label). 

We can't get a full 360-degree perspective when we can't see from the outside-in. 

To round that perspective out, Dr. Joe Dispenza notes if we want to create a new personal reality, then we have to start thinking about what we’ve been thinking about, and change our inner narrative. 

Without guidance and mentorship, we are left to fend for ourselves.  

We have never been taught how to take inventory of past experiences and the emotional residue left behind (the unresolved trauma).  

We carry that stuff with us everywhere we go.  

The term “baggage” is so spot on!  

Prior to doing my own inner work, which is a continual work in progress, I was lugging around a full set of Samsonites.  I’ve got a carry-on and a backpack now.  Much progress has been made, and more is yet to come.

I dive deeper into how a subconscious decision I made in childhood was running my life into the ground in this week's edition of the Unraveling Together podcast.  

Allow me to paint the scene for you…in it, there sits a woman.  She could be anyone you know.  

To the outer world, she is strong and centered. 

She is the one everyone else turns to in times of trouble. All the while, she sits at rock bottom. Where she slips silently into a deafening internal echo chamber. 

You may know her.  You may even be her. 

I was. 

Back in 2017, I found myself in a really dark place.  Alone with my thoughts that were anything but kind. 

If you're a midlife woman experiencing what feels like a mutiny within, sit a spell.  I have something to share, heart-to-heart.  

I am committed to being “a brave space” for myself as well as others. 

Unlike “a safe space”, a brave space is where we embrace our deepest darkest as our true selves, flaws and all.  

If you’re new to me, I’m Samantha “Dr. Sam” Graber.  

I’m an author, podcast host, keynote speaker, and a Holistic Perimenopause Strategist for women who are ready to stop sacrificing their health and wellbeing as they relentlessly pursue success.  

I advise forward-thinking organizations on wellbeing and menopause related policy creation, and provide their workforce with online resources as well as small group coaching.  

The organizations I choose to work with are ready to up their level of support for the women in their ecosystem. From the private sector to the publicly-funded, as well as nonprofits, these entities value the collective wisdom of women. And they want to retain the leadership and talent lost all too often because women lack the resources needed to optimize their wellbeing. Therefore, they are left with no other choice than to seek support elsewhere.

I help organizations empower women, by choice.

After a multi-decade career as a holistic chiropractor, I’ve orchestrated my own transformation from burnt out doc to impassioned community curator.  

The Unraveling Together Community is where midlife women connect and pursue a more holistic approach to our changing bodies and minds.  We focus on our wellbeing, our metabolism, and our menopause experience during as well as after we hit that magical milestone. Through masterclasses and co-working sessions, we cultivate more meaning in our individual lives while tapping into the collective wisdom of women.

Website

LinkedIn 

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Our libidos take a hit at every bend in the road of life and the switchbacks intensify during midlife.  As does our stress.

First of all, most of us are so overextended we don’t know if we’re coming or going.  We say “yes” too often to keep in line with our role as the “put-er of all others first”.  We plaster a smile on our face because God forbid if we don’t look like we’re happy all the dang time.  

To add fuel to this dumpster fire, we are eating stuff passed off as food that is anything but…and washing it down with alcohol.  “But it’s just wine.”  And such a slippery slope.  (Ask me how I know…)

The proverbial cherry on top?  We rarely, if ever, get a moment to reflect.  Let alone a moment to sit with our thoughts and feelings as a kind of check-in with our own selves.  We’re essentially on autopilot, which is no way to live.  Another way to phrase it is that we’re numb.  We don’t feel the bad, nor the good.  We’re in this middle zone of complacency.  A middle zone that is becoming narrower and narrower as we approach menopause. 

When our libido is waning, or non-existent, the void spills over into all we do.  You can’t tell it to stick to personal time.  It just doesn’t work that way.  

I dive into holistic ways to breathe life back into your libido, or into it for the first time.  Your libido is more than your sex drive.  It’s your zeal for life and business!  

Website:  https://drsamgraber.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-samantha-graber/

CoWorking Community: https://www.unravelingtogether.com/plans/248228

Have you ever noticed that one day you’re even-keeled, steady and everything you “touch” turns to gold? 

Only to be followed a day or so later (maybe a week) when you appear to have been strapped into an emotional rollercoaster (against your will), taken for a wild ride (that is anything but fun), and now what was once gold is a flaking mess and you’re wondering what the *bleep* just happened?   

I have.  Plenty of times.  And until I learned what I'm sharing with you in this episode, I was riding the struggle bus.  Big time! 

Our businesses live and breathe by the decisions we make.  

When I was struggling most, I was making major decisions out of sync with my my best timing for making them. 

You may be experiencing this as well.    

In this episode, I introduce the practice of cycle tracking and dive into why you may want to make it a priority when it comes to your business decision making.  

Click for access to the free resources from this episode.

Connect with me on LinkedIn.

Visit my website.  

A common backseat driver of #perimenopause, and total nuisance, is #brainfog, AKA perimenopause brain.  It's like pregnancy brain but then again, its not.  

People are much more forgiving toward our forgetfulness, the occasional word loss, and our momentarily scattered selves when there’s a “Baby On Board”. 

When it’s perimenopause brain, those around us can be far less forgiving. Especially for #womenintheworkplace. 

At work, a pregnant woman finds herself in a protected group. Not so much when that same woman transitions into her perimenopause phase of life. She is met, often rather harshly, with the progressive plagues of ageism and sexism. 

Now if she is LGBTQ+, BIPOC, or another layer of non-cis and other than “white”, the ‘ism stack can be crushing to her psyche, wellbeing, and her career.  This is why #menopause is a #DEI issue and one every company should have not only on their radar, but in their policies.

Plug into all things Unraveling Together by following me on LinkedIn ( https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-samantha-graber/ ) or by subscribing to my YouTube channel while you're here.  Hit the bell to be notified when I post another episode aimed at helping you better understand how your body (and mind) work behind the scenes.

There is an ROI on both leadership development and talent retention that you may not have given much thought to.    Seeing that you’ve invested heavily into hiring, training, and the professional development of the women in your company, when they stay and grow with your company that can add zeros with commas to the company’s bottom line.  

Think of that number for a moment. Drink it in.  Swish it around in your mouth to get the full flavor profile.     Here’s another thing to think about… how many women between the ages of 45 and 60 are leaving your company?  

How many of them might be leaving because they feel like they were shunned, ridiculed, or dismissed as they navigated their menopause transition?  

I can pretty much guarantee that even if you have an exit interview they won’t tell you the truth if they’re leaving for that reason.  They’ll tell someone like me, but not you.  

Having a #DEI policy that identifies #menopause by name signals to women that you value them at every stage along their personal and professional evolution.  

If you want to hear concrete ways you can support yourself and/or the women in your life and in your business, listen to this episode then comment below or DM me on LinkedIn (Dr. Sam Graber) for more information on how you can retain the talent, wisdom and experience of the seasoned women in your workforce.

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-samantha-graber/

As a result of my personal experience with perimenopause (peri) and the realization that peri is something we just don’t talk about, I made a shift in my professional focus. 

We need to be talking about perimenopause.

This is a conversation that belongs in every room in which there are women.  From the boardroom to the bedroom.  Different conversations mind you, but conversations that need ample space to breathe.  

No matter your age and where you are on your menopause continuum (pre-, peri-, or postmenopause), you can feel and function better with real food and simple strategies for putting it to work on your behalf. 

I’ve always been a real food advocate and after an on again-off again love affair with ketosis, I realized just how “on” I was when I prioritized metabolic flexibility through nutritional ketosis and intermittent fasting.  

What I didn’t know and therefore neglected to account for was how timing my efforts in concert with my sex hormone shifts could have a profound impact on my perimenopause experience.  

I was also ignorant as to how powerful aligning my thoughts was to the whole experience.  It wasn’t until I went dark that I learned how integral it truly was.

When memories of past traumatic experiences began bubbling back up and eventually took on the force of a geyser, I knew something needed to change, and fast.  The emotions were adding gasoline to the fire already ablaze.

Perimenopause has 3 co-conspirators: our thoughts, our emotions, and our hormones.  They can be allies or bullies…in this week’s Unraveling Together Podcast episode, I share how.  

Our metabolic health and our menopause experience are intimately interconnected. And our thoughts and emotions round out the experience weighting it toward the positive or negative side of life’s ledger with each passing day.  

Incorporating The KNOW ● FEEL ● DO Methodology will help you navigate the waters more smoothly and to better cope with the rapids that pop up along your journey.  

And if you’ve already come out the other side of menopause, attaining metabolic flexibility will bring a whole new level of vitality to you life, for the rest of it.  

Learn more about the community of rebellious women I'm cultivating around me at at https://www.unravelingtogether.com/ 

In this episode, I pose some questions I believe every business leadership team needs to consider.  

If you are a decision maker for your company, consider this:  

How much talent, experienced leadership, and company wisdom are you hemorrhaging when women are faced with the lose/lose proposition that occurs when their needs during perimenopause  are ignored?  

Translate that into dollars.  

How much is this costing your company as a result?  

And if you are a company of one, like me, same questions: 

What happens if you’re one of the women who have a difficult menopausal experience?  

How much might it cost you in business?  

Your relationships?  

Your wellbeing ?

Who steps up if you need to step down?

I ask these questions to get you thinking proactively and to share how you can bridge the resource gap women in your workforce face, but may not be telling you about because they don't feel they can.  

Learn more on my blog at https://drsamgraber.com/we-need-more-women-in-leadership-so-why-do-we-ignore-their-needs-in-perimenopause-and-beyond/ or https://www.unravelingtogether.com/ 

You have more important things to be focused on than your love/hate relationship with your bathroom scale.  Wouldn’t you agree?  

You’re up to big things in this world and wasting time engaged in a war with your weight is not one of them!   

The conversation around “weight loss” is not really about weight. Weight is just a measurement of how our body relates to gravity at that moment in time.  That shows up as a number on a device.  A device that has no business being on anyone’s bathroom floor, in my opinion.  

We make that number mean something.  We make it not just the objective measurement of weight, but we make it a subjective measurement of our worth in some way.  

The higher the number on the scale, the lower we think of ourselves. Let’s just say it like it is, shall we?  

We engage in this personal battle “with our weight” because that’s what we’ve been brainwashed to think matters. 

I don’t give a rip what you weigh. I don’t give a rip what I weigh. I care what we’re made of. 

A few years back I introduced a program called the 12 Week Metabolism Reset.  At that point in time it was focused for anyone with human DNA. 

I’ve now dialed it in specifically for women.  

I show you how to coordinate your metabolism with your female sex hormone cycle. From about our late 30s on, there are so many things that can hijack that cycle. Our female hormone cycle is greatly influenced by a metabolic machinery that runs everything. And most of that ties back to our cells and their relationship with insulin and cortisol. 

I know, I know…here I go again talking about insulin and cortisol. [I see that eye-roll!]

I talk about this dynamic duo because they are the drivers of this whole conversation and when we work with them, we have harmony.  When we try to pull something over on them, they quickly figure out that we’re up to no metabolic good and they put us in our place.  Swiftly and forcefully.

Listen to this week's episode to learn how you can get the last word in when it comes to ending the “weight loss” conversation, for good.  

****************************** LINKS mentioned in this episode:  

Environmental Working Group - https://www.ewg.org/

My Unraveling Together Info & CoWorking Community - https://www.unravelingtogether.com/

Unraveling Together Podcast - Ep. 029 - Lose Weight...Another Phrase To Retire In 2022 - https://youtu.be/Kk8H2eXmvLc ******************************