In this episode, we’re diving into the tricky balance between support, entitlement, and personal effort. I share my thoughts on what it really means to receive help, my experience with having parents who struggled with addiction, and the hard truth that God isn’t a magician—we have to actually put in the work to get the things we feel we “deserve.” Let’s talk about accountability, faith, and the reality check we all need sometimes.
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Hey there beautiful messes. Welcome back to the Unscripted Mosaic because adulting is hard and we're just gonna vibe through it together. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you're new here, thank you for joining me. I hope you subscribe, like, and comment and start this journey with me. If you are returning, welcome back.
I'm so glad you're here again. Today's episode is going to be very exciting. The title is Entitled or Confused? The Art of Confidence So let's talk about it because today I want to get real about something that I didn't expect to hit me so hard and maybe you felt this way before too. As we all know, starting something can feel scary, especially when it comes to support.
We often want those closest to us to support us. and rally for us, but I have found that it's the strangers. Yes, the strangers that are supporting us the most. Now, this is not a jab nor a personal attack at anyone in particular. This is going to be a direct experience that I've had. There's a mass following trend on TikTok where essentially you see someone's video come up and it will say like, wealth 10k or not hashtag mass following trend.
So you're just following people and expecting a follow back. It's all this sort of empowerment for small creators, which is amazing. It's good to see small creators supporting each other. But where it lost me is, I know that this is a great opportunity for most, especially whenever you have the opportunity to make money on TikTok, um, and other platforms.
That's fine and dandy, but most of the time it's, you see someone's video come up where they're asking for 10k, they're asking for follow back. You follow them off that video, but you don't go look at their other content. You don't know where their content is. You're just. A number, essentially. And so, I decided, you know, I love this trend, but I also want to make sure that people are actually showing up because they want to be here.
You know, they actually are interested in my content. They enjoy it, and they're interested in who you are. They're not just here to be a number. On your account, you know, they're here to be a supporter, a part of your community. And so it's important that you make everyone feel special in your community.
And so how are you going to do that? If you're just following people back and you're not really getting to know them. And I get it, you know, it's social media. You don't really have to know these people, but I think it is important to make sure that your values and beliefs align, um, person, um, posted a follow train and they did true crime podcast.
Um, me virtually, I'm not. I'm not going to follow them because I don't, I'm scared of horror and true crime and all of that. So that wouldn't be my niche. That's not my vibe. I don't fit into their category. So they would need to find someone who does love true crime, who, who that's for, not just following just to get a number and, you know, to increase their following.
You have to want people to support you because they want to be there, not because you're forcing that onto them. Which is where some of that entitlement comes into because you feel like oh, I followed this person back now They have to follow me. No, they do not you might you follow them because you're a kind person You're nice when it helps one out.
They might not be that kind and nice They might actually be someone, you know more realistic kind of like how I'm you know telling you I'm not gonna I'm not gonna just follow you just because you know We want a number and I wouldn't expect you to do that for me either I want you to follow me because If you like my content, you want to be here, you're interested in what I have to say and the things that I talk about and show.
Um, so, I know this show is like super old, but I just started watching it. Um, but this show is Empire. Y'all, don't spoil it for me. Do not put anything in the comments about what's going to happen because I'm only on like season 2. But Lucius. Talk about entitled.
Entitlement and insolence. Like I said, I've only seen season 2, so I don't know if he has more character development. I'm hoping he does because it's needed. But, I mean, this man suffered a tragic childhood. Yes, he did. But, that gave him no right to treat his children the way he did, to treat the people around him the way that he did.
And like I said, I'm still early and I'm hoping that he's able to get past this, but at a certain point, you gotta let it go. You have to let that trauma and what happened to you as a kid, you gotta let it go. Um, you can't keep constantly blaming your childhood and your parents for the way your life is. I will say yes, they do play a part in our DNA and affect us, but it should never affect you.
I mean, it should never affect you to the point where you feel like the world owes you because of what you went through. We all go through stuff. Everyone is going through their own battle. The world doesn't owe us all anything just because of what our circumstances are. I went to a seminar, and I got to hear beautiful stories and beautiful testimonies.
Um, and it really opened my eye. Like, I, I came back renewed. Like, it was a weekend thing, and, you know, you spent time with Jesus, and you hear all these wonderful testimonies from all these wonderful women. And, it really made me stop and think. The things that I had gone through in life were not nearly as bad as what other people had gone through.
And even the stories that I had heard, that was just a hint, a hint at how bad life could really be. And I'm not downplaying it, no, just because people go through worse things doesn't mean your situation isn't bad. Yes, your situation might be bad, but you gotta understand, you can only complain about your situation for so long before you start making it a part of your identity.
We spend so much time focusing on the wrongs, but I think it's important in those situations to think about what you gained and if you have gone through really tough situations, if you say, and you're thinking, oh, I've gained nothing from that. What did I gain? Heartbreak and pain. I think you're letting your circumstances affect the way that you're living in your outlook on life because I've gone through hard stuff and I've gained a lot.
I mean, I. I know five years ago, the woman, the girl actually that I was, is nowhere near the woman I am today in the mindset that I have now. Growing up, both parents were addicts and I really did use to use that as a background story, but they don't define me. They don't define you. Your parents life choices aren't yours, and they aren't mine.
I've gotten married, I've had a beautiful life, and I didn't grow up seeing those things. I saw it to an extent, because my grandparents were married. Uh, my grandma passed away when I was younger. Um, so, you know, as far as memory wise, I do, I have seen married couples, but as far as I grew up in a household with a mom and dad who were married, you know, the traditional way, No, I didn't have that, but don't see me letting that affect the way that I live my life.
Oh, because my, because my parents are addicts, I have to be an addict too. Because my mom never got married, I have to never get married too. Because my mom has four baby daddies, I gotta have four baby daddies too. No, you do not have to live that life. You don't have to go down the same road that they're going down.
You can choose to be better. You can choose to be different. You can choose to create a new route for your for your new family that you're creating. I know me. I mean, me and my husband both, you know, we didn't have that traditional household family. So what we gained from that is now we know how we want to raise our Children.
You know, um, The way we want our, the way we want our marriage to work, we want our marriage to last. I mean, there are just so many things that from my, from my childhood that I've gotten to use in order to make my future better than what I was shown. You know, it's all about what you do. With the hardships that you are dealt.
The bad cards that you are dealt, what are you going to do with them? Are you just going to cry and complain about it your whole life? And hope that someone comes and helps you? Because, newsflash, no one's coming to save you. I said that in my first video. We have got to stop assuming that the world owes us and someone's going to come save us because of how terrible our life was or we think we're owed something.
Another thing is, I hate handouts. I hate looking for handouts. Like, I don't like asking for help. I would rather do it all myself. So, uh, recently I got into a little bit of a situation where my car got towed. Now, my car getting towed, it was, it was awful. You know, I've never had my car towed or anything.
So, for me, that was, it was terrible. But it wasn't really even the fact that my car was towed that I was upset about. It was the fact that, I had to ask someone for help. I had to ask someone for money. We were like 100 short and Friday was a day away and instead of waiting, I literally had to ask someone for help and it pains me almost to be able to know that I'm in a situation where I'm vulnerable and I have to rely on someone else other than myself or my husband.
I did not like it and I didn't thank my parents for that because my parents are very much always looking for a handout. Yeah. And so from that, because I've seen the way that they, you know, live their life, I chose to live my life a different way. And that start, that starts with, no, I don't want help. It takes a lot for me to be able to take help or even to admit that I need help.
It, it's just not for me. So yeah, thanks for my parents being beggars. I adhere to the trait of taking care of myself and always wanting to take care of myself. Which is why it's so hard for my husband. Uh, he's all about wanting to provide. He has the dream of how he wants our life to look. And I love that, but sometimes it's hard for me to be able to step back and let him do all the work because I've always been a very independent.
very much being able to take care of myself the whole time. And so for him to have that vision of the way that he wants our life to look, it has been hard for me. I mean, that's, I think that's why I do all these different side quests because I'm like. I need to, I need to do something to, like, make me feel like I'm still, like, able to, you know, do something.
Like, I still have some sort of skills. Like, I'm not just sitting at home just cooking a thousand recipes every week. You know? Like, I need to have something where I can use some skills other than being a housewife. It's hard for me to be able to see the life that he sees because Like I said, I didn't grow up seeing that life.
I mean, he didn't either, but that's because our, our circumstances in our life, what you go through should make you want to live a life completely different of the circumstances that you went through. If you had to watch your parents, you know, be drug addicts when you were a child, that shouldn't make you want to go live the same life.
That should make you want to do better and do something more with your life and not follow in those same footsteps. You don't have to do that. Let's go ahead and Stop letting people and letting our circumstances affect who we are and the support that we have. I mean, we want people to root for us, but do we root for them?
Think about that. You know, you spend your time thinking about what you're doing in life and you're wanting people to support you for it, but do you support others? Do you root for other people the way that you want people to root for you? I think that's an important question because then it'll make you really think.
Are we all just feeling a little bit entitled for expecting our friends and family to support us all the time? I've had supports and the people rooting for me. It's really been strangers I've had. I mean, you can go on our website and I'll get more into the website later. But there is a section where I put, um, people's reviews and what they've said to me.
And so I've had a lot of feedback and I love it. Um, but I've also had. people just viewing my content and not liking it or saying anything. And that can be challenging. That can hurt our feelings. That can make you feel like, oh wow, they don't even care about us. But it's important to take a step back and ask yourself, think about the world around you, not just yourself.
Are you contributing to others how you want them to contribute to you? For example, one cousin in particular, um, I've liked and shared like I've liked her stuff and I've shared, I know on the I've shared one thing. And I've been seeing
