In today’s Update Journal, we begin with a Weakest Link moment that raises serious questions about the state of breakfast knowledge in America—because apparently not everyone knows where to get a Rootie Tootie Fresh ’N Fruity. (Hint: it’s not an ice cream shop.)

From there, we travel back to 2008 to investigate Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get a Clue, a show so strange that many of us are still unsure whether it actually aired or if Cartoon Network collectively hallucinated it.

And finally, United Airlines introduces a tough new rule aimed at stopping one of the most blood-boiling passenger habits known to mankind—because nothing brings society together quite like mutual irritation at the airport.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Thursday, a brazen duo – including one career criminal with dozens of prior arrests – was arrested for allegedly setting a sleeping man on fire inside Penn Station this week, authorities said.

A high-ranking Jersey City official running to be a town mayor has been reassigned after humiliating footage showed him using his position to try to get out of a drunk-driving arrest — and admitting to cheating on his wife.

And in Rhode Island, Catholic priests preyed on hundreds of children for decades, and were protected by bishops more concerned with the church’s reputation than the victims, according to a new report on clergy sexual abuse that echoes findings elsewhere.