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What if you’d die for your spouse—but you won’t change for them? Ouch. That’s the kind of honest, unscripted question Don and Lisa tackle this week on Wedded Wednesday. The scripture is Philippians 2:3: “Don’t be selfish, don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.”

Selfishness is the trait nobody wants—but everybody has. And it doesn’t always show up as big, obvious betrayal. Sometimes it’s a Frosty you didn’t share, a donut you didn’t bring home, or a financial decision you made without a conversation. In this episode, Don and Lisa get real about how the “creep of me” slowly steals the “us” from marriage—and what you can do about it.

Key takeaways:

• Selfishness is actually the root of disrespect, devaluing, and dishonor. Left unchecked, those three D’s can lead to a fourth: distance (or worse).
• The antidote isn’t more rules—it’s respect, honor, and dying to self. Marriage is a call to selflessness, not self-fulfillment.
• A simple test to see if “me” is in focus: Do you get offended when your spouse doesn’t say “I love you” back? That’s a sign you wanted something in exchange.
• Many people say they’d die for their family. But are you willing to change for your family? That’s the harder, more daily question.
• When “us” is in focus, “me” fades. And unity, servanthood, and peace grow in its place.

Real talk from the episode:

“I don’t know a man who wouldn’t say, ‘I’d die for my family.’ But if you can die for them, why won’t you change for them?” – Don“
"It’s not about control. It’s about respect. Did you have plans? Let me include you.” – Lisa

Your challenge this week:
Take a few minutes with your spouse and honestly ask: Where has “me” been in focus instead of “us”? If something comes to mind, be brave enough to say, “I’ve been selfish here. Will you forgive me? I’m going to work on that.” Then watch how the atmosphere of your marriage shifts.

Quote to remember:

“When me is predominantly in focus, the us cannot be.”

Thanks for pulling up a chair again. Share this episode with someone who needs a gentle, non‑lecture reminder that marriage works best when we stop keeping score and start serving.

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