This week, The Variety Show is doing things a little differently. Rob and Tom aren't even in the same room, the audio has had a few adventures of its own, and instead of the usual games, taste tests and nostalgia, they're answering five questions designed to reveal far more than anyone really needed to know.
What food deserves to be permanently wiped from existence? Which country would we pack our bags for tomorrow? And, from decades of British comedy, which show could we happily sit down and watch again and again?
Those fairly innocent questions lead to arguments about offensive condiments, questionable genetics, time travel, retro gaming, dream holidays and an enormous wander through British comedy. Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, Dad's Army, The IT Crowd, Bottom, The Young Ones, Shooting Stars, The League of Gentlemen, Friday Night Dinner, Derry Girls and plenty more get dragged into the conversation.
Then things get considerably more personal when we ask for the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to us at work.
Rob's answer somehow involves a hospital, surgery, a student nurse and an extremely unfortunate interruption. Tom, meanwhile, recalls the day he arrived at a business as the professional responsible for teaching everyone about fire safety.
The actual fire brigade subsequently turned up.
We'll let you work out how well the training went.
Finally, after more than 86 episodes, countless quizzes, questionable snacks, Christmas specials, nostalgia, Melody Pops, murder walks, prison pigeons and all manner of other nonsense, there's one deceptively difficult question left: what's the best thing we've ever done on The Variety Show?
For once, things even get a little bit wholesome.
Five questions. Two separate recordings. Several stories that probably shouldn't have been told. And one fire marshal who will forever have to live with the fact that the fire brigade turned up to his fire safety course.
Pretty standard, really.
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https://thevarietyshow.co.uk