Narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many different forms and levels of severity, while as a mental health condition, there is currently only one diagnosis. Tony tackles the question of whether or not we use the label of narcissism too broadly, and if we spoke more about what narcissistic traits and tendencies looked like in our everyday lives, would more people be able to take ownership of their narcissistic behaviors?

Tony refers to the article "5 Types of Narcissism and How to Recognize Each," by Courtney Telloian (medically reviewed by Jeffrey Ditzell, DO) from PsychCentral https://psychcentral.com/health/types-of-narcissism.

If you have questions or comments, or suggestions for a topic of a future episode or if you want to share your story or examples of gaslighting in your relationships please send through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com

#narcissist #narcissistictraits #therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #recovery #selfcare #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:01] Hey, everybody, welcome to episode seven of the Waking Up the Narcissist podcast, I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of another podcast called The Virtual Couch. And as a matter of fact, I think I am doing. I'm going to do a and this episode is going to be on the virtual couch almost as a come on over to the Waking Up the Narcissism podcast. Because when I cover narcissism on the virtual couch, the download numbers are they're big there. I talk about parenting, I talk about marriage, or if I talk about narcissism, it seems like the numbers are a few thousand downloads more than most. So if you are listening to this on the virtual couch and you've maybe heard me talk a little bit about this other podcast, it's called Waking Up the Narcissism and come on over. We're on episode seven and the numbers are already pretty phenomenal. So I know that there's a need here that people are emailing and emailing like crazy and saying that they feel heard. They feel understood. And so I welcome you over to this other podcast. I'm also using a new recording software. I'm going to give that a shot and it is. It's a program that will allow me to do some live streaming because the amount of questions and that I get on the waking up the Narcissism podcast is pretty phenomenal, and I thought I got a lot of questions on the Virtual Couch podcast, but I'm getting questions daily emailed about narcissism.

[00:01:16] So we're going to we're going to do more of the Q&A answers over here on the Waking Up the Narcissism podcast, and so I'd like to be able to do some live streaming. So if you are a YouTube person at all, you can go to the Virtual Couch YouTube channel and this episode will hopefully be up there by the time you go. But I want to get into a few things. I had a bunch of things, a bunch of emails that I was going to read, but I just want to jump right in today because I'm going to cover an article that is going to talk about narcissism on a spectrum now, narcissism in and of itself. The word carries so much weight, it carries so much emotion. So I do know that when let's just say that people are emailing me and they are saying, finally, I feel heard, I feel understood. The gaslighting makes so much sense when I lay out these five tips in interacting with the narcissist in your life. Whether it's your spouse, whether it's your employer, whether it's an adult child or anyone, somebody in your church, congregation or church leadership that it gives people a lot of they feel empowered when they know that, Oh,

Tony talks about gossip as a social skill. According to the article, "Psychologists say that gossiping is a social skill. Here's how to know if you're doing it right," https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/psychologists-say-gossiping-social-skill-here-s-how-know-if-ncna1056941 there is a healthy, productive way to gossip. Gossip, according to research, may actually be one of the societal forces that bring us together and help maintain social order.

Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about the next round of Tony's transformative marriage course "Magnetic Marriage." And please subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism," wherever you listen to podcasts.

#therapy #gossip #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #recovery #selfcare #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:15] Come on. Take a seat.

[00:00:22] Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode two hundred and ninety of the virtual couch. I'm your host, Tony Overbay, and this is I've lost track of the number of takes to open this episode because I have been trying to do a role, play a little bit of acting and trying to make it to sound so natural. So I decided instead, I will now tell you that. Buckle up. Here comes a really bad role play to get into today's episode. I now present to you the virtual couch actor's studio, which essentially is me trying to do a role play. But I refuse to start this one over. Here we go. And action. Hey, so you hear about Ted you or you didn't? Oh yeah, yeah. No, Ted got a tattoo. Yeah. What do you think about that? Oh, what kind? No. Yeah, no, that's cool, right? Yeah, no. I think it's cool, too. I think it was a logo of his favor of a baseball team. I mean, that's crazy, right? Baseball team on his arm. That's crazy, right? Oh, no, no. I didn't realize he was raised raised by his grandparents. Oh, so he and his grandpa used to go to those games a lot. Is that right? No, that makes sense. So that really must have been more about the relationship with his grandpa. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, I get it. Did you see the car you just bought, though? Yeah, no, I know, right? Yeah.

[00:01:34] Who needs something that expense? I mean, come on, it's just transportation. Who cares if you don't, if you have to hold on to the steering wheel? I love taking control of my car. Yeah, no. Exactly. Ted Ted's insane about the car thing. The tattooed thing. No. Sure, I get it. I get it right. Ok. Oh, end scene. What you just witnessed there with some incredibly bad acting and role playing for the topic that we're talking about today, which is gossip, because I'm guessing that most of you listening have participated in a little gossip in your day. But depending on who you're gossiping with or two or what you are gossiping about, that is going to be an entirely different experience. And and I also guess that you have made that decision that that it's OK, even if sometimes you may learn that somebody else is gossiping and that is bad. So today we're going to talk a little bit about gossip as a social skill. Can it be a good thing? And if so, when I was reading a couple of things recently and I stumbled upon this idea, and it was just this vague idea of gossip as a way to to just check in with somebody. And I never thought about it that way. So if you are walking up to someone and you're saying, like in the incredibly horrible role playing here because there was a lot of talk right now about anything from tattoos to what shows you're watching to what politician you like.

[00:02:47] So if you're saying, Hey, how about how about that squid game this phenomenon on Netfl...

One of the most frustrating things after "Waking up to Narcissism" is trying to explain your relationship struggles to friends, co-workers, or family members who haven't experienced narcissistic forms of abuse (emotional, financial, spiritual, etc.). Many people in these situations find themselves almost wishing their emotional abuser would physically abuse them because "at least people would understand why I would leave." But the emotional wounds and scars run deep, and on most occasions, don't heal properly without a lot of work.

In today's episode, Tony describes his "Death by a thousand cuts" theory when talking about narcissistic patterns of abuse. A thousand paper cuts can still lead to someone "bleeding out," yet each individual paper cut appears insignificant on its own. Tony reads examples from his private women's group of examples of "Death by a thousand cuts." You can submit your questions, comments, or request to join the group through the contact form on http://tonyoverbay.com.

#narcissism #narcissist #therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #recovery #selfcare #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

How certain are you about the facts of your experiences? Better yet, does it truly matter to be certain? Would you rather be right, or would you rather connect? Today Tony takes a look at certainty through the lens of 50 popular myths that many of us have grown up believing. Tony references the article "50 Well-Known 'Facts' That Are Actually Just Common Myths" https://bestlifeonline.com/common-myths/ and he references Dr. Robert Burton's book: On Being Certain - Believing You Are Right Even When You're Not https://www.amazon.com/Being-Certain-Believing-Right-Youre/dp/031254152X/ And if you're interested in hearing Tony speak in Utah Saturday, October 16th from 1 to 5 PM head to https://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah for more information. Seating is limited.

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Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

#memory #myths #therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #recovery #selfcare #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:15] Come on in, take a seat.

[00:00:22] Hey, everybody, welcome to episode two hundred and

[00:00:25] Eighty nine of the virtual couch, and I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified, mindful coach, writer, speaker, husband, father for ultra marathon runner and creator of the Path Back, an online pornography recovery program that is helping people reclaim their lives from the harmful effects of turned to pornography as a coping mechanism and go to Pathbackrecovery.com if you want to find out more. That group continues to grow and grow and its strength based and hold the shame and become the person you always wanted to be. That kind of that kind of a vibe. And yes, magnetic marriage course coming up soon. Go to Tonyoverbay.com and send me an email if you want to know more. And waking up the narcissism podcast is awesome and all those wonderful things, but I'm going to do a fun podcast today because we need a little bit of laughter. We need a little bit of levity. And the honest truth is, I'm also preparing for a big speaking event in Utah, which if you heard the bonus episode last week, I'm going to be there for the Saturday, Saturday, October 16, and you can go to leading Saints dot org slash Tony in Utah, I believe, and you can get tickets in that sort of thing, and I'm excited.

[00:01:32] I'm going to cover everything, everything that I can cover in four hours and bring your questions, and we're going to have a great time. So that is this Saturday. So in anticipation for that. I did not have a lot of time to prep for a podcast episode, but consistency. I am putting out an episode every week. That was what I wanted to do four or five years ago. And so I have some that I've wanted. I've been sitting on for a little while that I just think will be fun. And one of the things I will say from time to time in podcast episodes, as I love busting pop psychology myths, talking about how long it takes to really build a habit or talking about what punching a punching bag really does for anger. And I've covered a lot of those type of things in various episodes in the past,

[00:02:16] You know, to go a little deeper. I have received a lot of feedback from an episode that I did a couple of weeks ago, titled Give Yourself a Little Grace Change takes time.

Tony tackles the intricacies of the narcissistic trauma bond. For many, the harder you try to find your voice or to separate yourself from the narcissists in your life, the more difficult it becomes, which only makes the bond more challenging to break. Tony references the article "Trauma Bonding - Why You Can't Stop Loving the Narcissist." https://broxtowewomensproject.org.uk/trauma-bonding/

#therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #recovery #selfcare #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:00] Hey, everybody, welcome to episode five of the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast, I'm your host, Tony Overbay, and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and podcast host of the virtual couch. And I'm in private practice somewhere in Northern California, but I just want to jump in and I have so much content to cover today. I want to talk about a trauma bond, what a trauma bond is. And we're going to get to that. But I have some things I want to do up front. First, if anybody happens to be in the Salt Lake area and are interested, I'm going to be speaking at a leading Saints live event from one to five p.m. on October the 16th. And you can go to leading St. Paul Tony in Utah, or you can go find my Facebook page. Tony Overbay licensed marriage and family therapist or the virtual couch account on Instagram, and I will post more about that. But that's that's going to be exciting. It's interesting because I have four hours to cover so much material, and the host, Kurt Frankel, has asked me to cover narcissism in ecclesiastical and ecclesiastical settings. So maybe in religious leadership. So that's going to be one of the many things I'm going to try to get to. I told him I'm going to try to solve all the world's problems there because I've got four hours to do so. That's October 16th, and I also wanted to just touch on a couple of the emails.

[00:01:23] Oh, and make mention of contact me. There are a lot of emails. I'm almost overwhelmed with the amount of emails, but I don't stop. I'm looking for more examples of gaslighting. You can ask questions. I want to get to question and answer episodes. And I know I keep saying this that coming up down the road. But I have a couple of authors, one of a new book on narcissism that it's going to come on. But the real thing I'm looking forward to, I'm still trying to figure out how to do this. Behind the scenes is bringing on people that are currently in relationships with have been through relationships with people that are struggling with narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies. And there's a lot more there if people are involved in divorces, if people are a lot of people get frustrated and angry and they want, they do want their story to be told. But then when they step back, they think, OK, if my kids hear this down the road or my community. So we're just working out some of the the finer points, but we're going to get real people, real examples, and I think that's going to be pretty fascinating. But for now, I have so many emails of examples of gaslighting, but not just people saying, Hey, here's some gaslighting, but most people are sending emails and they're asking questions like this, and this is the latest one that I received.

[00:02:32] So it was actually last night and so I didn't actually get a chance to respond and say, Are you cool if I share some of this? So I'll change up some of the things. But I think this is one of the most interesting parts or points of the type of email I receive at the end, she says. I'm one of those people and I'm not sure if I have rose colored go...

Tony describes in detail how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" works, including how to apply the 4 Pillars in any conversation where you feel stuck, unheard, unseen, or unloved. The 4 Pillars are: 1) Assuming good intentions, 2) Don't send the message of "you're wrong" or "I don't believe you," EVEN IF you think the other person is wrong, or you don't believe them, 3) Ask questions BEFORE making comments, and 4) Stay present, lean in, do all that you can to stay out of "victim mode." These 4 Pillars, along with the paradigm shift that the goal of a conversation is to be heard, not to resolve, will lead to more connected conversations.

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Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

EP 287 To Be Heard Is To Be Healed - Connecting the 4 Pillars of Communication

#communication #magneticmarriage #4pillarsofcommunication #4pillarsofaconnectedconversation #compassion #therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:02] Hey, everybody, welcome to this episode of The Virtual Couch, and that is my very smooth way of saying I forgot what no episode this is, but I think we're somewhere between two eighty five and two ninety. But I am glad you're here. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. A certified mine will have a coach and a writer and a speaker and a husband and a father of four, and all those things that I've gotten away from saying at the beginning of every episode because I just want to get to the content. I can't lie even to the point where this will seem like a setup, but I have completely spaced talking about my sponsor, BetterHelp for well over a month now. So if you are looking for help online therapy, then go to Betterhelp.com virtual couch and you'll get 10 percent off your first month's services. Betterhelp.com has an incredible assessment feature. You can be up and running with somebody within twenty four to forty eight hours and do it through email or online or all those wonderful things. So try Betterhelp.com virtual couch and there. I have meant to do that for so many times, but let's get to the material. I have so many things that I just think about when I'm just out and about. And over the weekend, I went on a quick road trip with my wife. We drove back to Utah just for a couple of days.

[00:01:07] We love doing a road trip together. We love listening to audiobooks and podcasts and solving all the world's problem. My wife would kill me if I ever told the content of this, but we have this running joke that one of these days I need to do a podcast and it is Tony and Wendy. Just show their ignorance about a variety of things. And if you just put the recorder on us while we're talking about a lot of things, so in politics, pop culture news, that sort of thing, we really realize at times that we are so compatible because we don't know as much as we think that we know. But I digress. So we're having this amazing time, but I had an opportunity to interact with quite a few people over the last forty eight hours. And when you're out and about and people know you're a therapist, you get asked a lot of questions, which I love. I absolutely love, which is why this is what I do for a living. When I was in the computer industry and somebody wo...

Today we tackle why good people look for reasons their narcissist is acting off rather than accepting the situation for what it may be. Plus, Tony describes four types of gaslighting. Please submit your questions as well as your gaslighting examples through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com

#gaslighting #communication #compassion #therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:00] Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode four of Waking Up the Narcissism, I'm your host, Tony Overbay. And let's dove right in. I would love to encourage you to continue to send your examples questions. Anything that is on your mind through the contact form at Tonyoverbay.com have been compiling all of that on one Google document. And I have to tell you, I think we're up to about 13 or 14 pages single space. So that is to say that the feedback has been overwhelming, and I wanted to highlight just a few things with regard to feedback, just because I want you to know that there is comfort in numbers. I know that that doesn't bring resolution. But the what I'm hearing is just hear some examples. Just I've listened to the podcast several times with tears running down my face. Thanks for spreading awareness to so many people trapped, abused, confused and secure and uncertain. What's real? Listening to your podcast was shocking. I could have sat in your office chair in my life that became the foundation of your podcast or someone saying, I just listen to the first episode. It's absolutely mind blowing. This is my life. I've been married for this many years with my spouse. We have kids together. Everything you said in the first episode is my life. It's scary. I'm looking forward to listening, but but also scared and and I imagine that I can understand that that's going to be the feeling a lot I had someone else talking about.

[00:01:19] They were in the midst of grieving this idealized relationship with their parents and now recognizing the narcissism. And just this person in particular said they never paused a podcast to look up. The author tracked down the contact info and contact them just to say thank you. So I'm just grateful that people are finding a little bit of comfort and just knowing that they're not alone. Another another one says, Oh gosh, episode two had me, especially when you were talking about the emails you were talking about. They said, this person said that they've been going to couples therapy. It's just gone really bad. They feel broken. At this moment. Their spouse feels like they're being selfish and that he's been stonewalling them between sessions. And so it's just so I'm so grateful that people are finding comfort and understanding that it really just is not them. They're not alone. And there's also, if I do just a search for the word crazy in the emails, that's there's it's used often someone saying here, they say that there are times that their spouse and them, they feel like they're just roommates, then they would love for their relationship to be better. And in this particular instance, this this person who submitted the email said that talking about their husband, he literally said, I'm sorry you feel that way, but then walk away. And she said, if I don't ask questions in a certain way, then he won't answer me and it'll either be quiet or he'll say that I don't understand what you're saying and the latter one, because then if she clarifies better what she means.

[00:02:47] But now, if it's in a judgmental way, then he says that she's phrasing the question wrong and then he'll rarely talk to...

Despite what you hear from the self-help world change takes time, so it is important to give yourself a little more grace. If beating yourself up was the key to success, then we'd all already be perfect! Tony shares his secrets on how to become unstuck, and why we continually try to think our way out of thinking problems, and why our brain, bless its pink squishy heart, thinks it's doing us a solid by keeping us heading down the same deeply rutted neuropathways. Plus, learn the mysteries of "piloting the human meat suit." 

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Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.

#grace #selfhelp #change #communication #compassion #therapy #virtualcouch #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

Tony gives examples of the narcissistic apology, and he explains "Narcissistic Awareness Grief," a term coined by Dr. Christine Hammond (https://growwithchristine.com/). Tony refers to an excellent article by Diane Metcalf on Narcissistic Awareness Grief https://toolbox.dianemetcalf.com/nag/ Please submit your questions as well as your gaslighting examples through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com

#therapy #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #recovery #selfcare #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

Tony talks about why unfinished tasks take up so much emotional energy and why, even with this knowledge, it can be so challenging to begin even the most simple project. The Ziegarnik Effect is the tendency to remember unfinished tasks better than finished tasks. Tony "reacts to" Cynthia Vinney's article "The Ziegarnik Effect? Definitions and Examples" https://www.thoughtco.com/zeigarnik-effect-4771725 Understanding how The Ziegarnik Effect works can help you address procrastination, poor study habits, and more.

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Sign up now to learn more about Tony's next round of his Magnetic Marriage course http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

Check out this episode (285) of the Virtual Couch where I discuss this topic at length.

#procrastination #communication #compassion #therapy #virtualcouch #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote #quote #podcast #podcasting #acceptancecommitmenttherapy #motivation #coach #addictionrecovery #narcissism #happiness #behappy #mentalhealth #wellness #anxiety #relax #mindfulness #happy #depression #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #MadeWithDescript #DescriptPro

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[00:00:05] The. Come on in and take a seat.

[00:00:21] Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode two hundred and eighty five of the virtual couch, and I'm going to start with story time. Friday night, my wife and I had gone to a high school football game. My son's girlfriend is a cheerleader where we're watching the Friday Night Lights. It's starting to get crisp and cool. It was amazing, but we had we had not gone to dinner before. So afterward we head to dinner and we go to a Mexican restaurant and we haven't eaten a lot all day. So a bit impulsively we get the chips in queso because it's amazing and we drive away and we're in the midst of just talking. And I think I actually stopped a little short at a stoplight and my wife just checked to make sure that our food didn't spill everywhere. And she just mentions, Hey, they forgot the queso, which is the whole point of chips and queso chips are good, but cakes, those amazing. So we're a little ways away, and I just I just say, Hey, I'll go back. No problem. And so we go back and we had just been there. It was late. It was after 10 o'clock, the restaurant closes at 11. There had been no one else in the restaurant. It was one of those where you go up to the counter and you place your order. And I had made witty jokes and I thought I had really connected with the person helping because I felt like it was late at night and I wanted her to smile and have a great end to the evening.

[00:01:33] So I'm thinking, Oh, she'll remember, and she'll say, Hey, what's going on? And I walk in and absolute zero recollection. Not that I'm somebody that stands out in a crowd. Don't get me wrong, but my point being, I just left there and I had mentioned that, hey, we just left and unfortunately forgot the queso. And still, this just blank look on her face, which is fine. But the point of this story is that you do sometimes wonder how does somebody just not quite remember something that had just happened? And it had me think of this thing called the zeigen effect. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Sounds super nerdy and boring, but it's amazing. What the Zagorin effect is is that you once you complete a project, then it is out of your mind. So somebody that works in the food service industry, for example, when you have left and you have paid, you are done to them. They have had so many people come through that day that while you are still put in your order together before you've paid, while you're still in front of them, you're relevant and they're going to remember you and they're going to remember what you were trying to order or what they need to do for the most part. But when you leave, that task is completed and done.

[00:02:41] And so there's so much fascinating ps...