I was talking to someone the other day and they were talking about how if we share our story in the context of mental health when we talk about it we go back there when we talk about something we go back to that place and they weren't talking about it in the context of where my mind went when it extrapolated from that it extrapolated that if I talk about the beautiful place that I went to within and experienced as the reality outside of me as well in mania then maybe I'll go back to that place so I can talk to myself about it on these videos and in a way keep those neural connections with that place or maybe just talking about it the words and the sounds will create those epigenetic changes or those endogenous no chemicals to take me back to that place and maybe it won't be as powerful to say when the energy of the universe comes and takes me back to that place but maybe it'll be enough to to keep a little connection with it and in that way to by continuing to talk about it in a way that's non pathologizing maybe i'll create that context within myself that next time I go into distress I won't pathologize myself and I'll be able to get through it and maybe if I can't get through it maybe I'll have someone to help me who's qualified to speak with me in terms of emotional CPR and maybe I'll have brought back to Canada because I see that it's important to have a non pathologizing way to talk to people in distress and so also by talking about how I believe there is a beautiful world right here right now we just can't feel it we're not sensitive to feeling it maybe because we're not sensitive because if we were all sensitive we'd also be sensitive to the crap that we've co-created as our supposedly meaningful human lives and we'd really want to change it and that would be some work yet we could end up in a forest and just live in the beauty for the next 20 years if we happen to be in a forest but if we happen to be in the middle of this society we could be in a lot of trouble and danger so we're not sensitive and if we go into that sensitivity we feel that beautiful world we see that beautiful world but then we're also sensitive to the one that we've created that's not beautiful and the world that's it is out there that's actually within us is not something we have created as egos and human beings it's something within that are all the innate human dimensions that that were connected with that we unfold and manifest that in our part of the co-creation of reality so I'm thinking that by speaking to that might help to create that if I do ever make these videos available to my fellow Mannix my fellow humanik then maybe other people will resonate with that as well and and choose to know that that's right there but it's also a matter of bringing it out so other people can see it too and we might actually be the vehicles of that which is part of the embodied mania so even though we're not feeling the extreme mania still embodying the mania to in a way hold and express that frequency that we know is there we just not tuned into it at the moment and I think part of it is because we have to collectively create it so everyone can tune into it it's already there we can go off into that state in personal ecstasy but then we're there by ourself and it has no value so when we come back it's important to uphold that frequency uphold the highest of ourselves not turn into the pathologized versions of ourselves that the medical paradigm would like us to be in and to work towards that because the more people that see what's already there will create a different world so again by speaking to that I go back to that place which isn't anywhere else but here now part of me is already there I'm part of this is also about teasing out the wellness and the dreams and the visions not just trying to fix illness that vision if we're able to connect with our vision and our dreams and flow towards that that state of flow will heal us just as that energy when it comes seems to completely heal us and free us the ego gets in the way of our vision but we can still utilize the ego to create our vision and I technically attempted suicide but I'm also a tempting living I'm not going to sit and do nothing because I'm afraid that I might go into distress and get scared and maybe attempt to end my life I would rather [Music] die by my own empathy then sit around being afraid of myself that's the thing I wanted to talk about when I was talking about vicarious trauma I think in the last video was that if I carious trauma implies empathy and extreme empathy and my empathy has got the best of me on three different occasions and I've ended up in the psych ward and I don't think that's a failure I think that is just how it is and and maybe it's difficult to work in such places with that capacity of empathy it doesn't feel like empathy at the time it doesn't feel like empathy empathy doesn't feel like empathy it feels like pain of the other person it feels like whatever the other person might be feeling and experiencing it doesn't feel like empathy and it's like extreme pattern recognition it's the mirror neurons it's identifying with the common consciousness and the common brain of humanity our perception links us to other people in that way so if I see somebody and I look at them and I'm in that state I can feel exactly what they're feeling it's not separate they even say if we look at somebody they're mirrored in our brain like if they smile their smile is in our brain it happens in our brain it affects us everything affects us and so in the same way I could look at a homeless person and feel the pain that they're feeling and maybe I don't feel at that exact moment it might come to me two weeks later and I think why am I feeling this way well I saw that I feel it's important to share our visions and her dreams and create this context because otherwise we become consumers of the context of the medical paradigm and again I'm not saying that's wrong I'm just saying that's not the only way for us to heal and move forward and we can create a lot more context from our own understanding from the inside out instead of relying on outside perceptions of our behaviors and them attributing meaning to it which means pathology when inside we're having maybe a rich experience of some kind that isn't necessarily pathology I feel like the visionary experience is related to tryptamines which is something from the pineal gland from what I understand I feel that that experience the tryptamine experience is ecstatic but it's also isolating one is in ecstasy by oneself whereas oxytocin is say the next level down where we are bonded with one another we're collaborating we're co-creating and I feel the oxytocin consciousness is very important I also feel the oxytocin is what would create these relational neural networks of being feeling connected and wanted to people feeling like we belong if we feel like we belong were less likely to disconnect and dissociate or need these ecstatic experiences or need to self-medicate so someone might take ecstasy the pill to feel ecstatic whereas if we all felt bonded and like we're learning and creating together we wouldn't necessarily crave experiences of ecstasy ecstasy is almost like wanting to be alone even more wanting to isolate even more wanting to get away from what it is that we have created we've created a dopamine dominant society and and I think we all are craving this oxytocin because the oxytocin is actually what creates our neural networks and imagine if we created a society based on oxytocin on what gives us oxytocin it would be a completely different world probably designed by women i invite you to create your own visionary videos and unfold the context of your own experience and do so for your own self and to have all that context unfolded onto video if more and more people create this context it'll be more difficult for it to be dismissed and we don't even need to create it for being accepted from other bits of society because together if we co-create something different there'll be a place where people that don't understand and it's about creating dialogue not debate we're not going to be debating each other's internally subjective experiences or how we choose to speak about it what is important is that a simple label might actually have hours of meaning within it I also realized in my journey that I was living in a place where i was accepted and cared about and it was a safe space and there was no pressure to recover or get better or talk about things or anything I didn't want to do yet in that space I flourished the most and I realized there's no pressure there and the only kind of pressure that was there was the gentle pressure of love and caring when caring people are just there and touch your heart there's a pressure a touch of that love energy that's not trying to do anything but just be there and you feel it you feel if somebody is pressuring you and you feel if somebody's trying to coerce you and I wonder if it's partly true that by trying to pressure somebody it actually reinforces their ego in a way it's like saying there's somebody there how can I harvest how the universe repattern me i don't know if i can not harvest it I think the harvesting is just in living it out even me sitting here talking about this is seated from that initial experience five and a half years ago it was sort of like a rebirth in a way completely altered the course of my life also simon Sinek talks about find your why in manic consciousness the why finds you the Y becomes obvious we're all one consciousness I also feel like manic consciousness would not be necessary if we all took action naturally if we were brought up in oxytocin consciousness and acting not based on our ego minds but I don't think autism would be necessary either feel like consciousness is what creates epigenetic changes because consciousness is more fundamental than matter and it's also to do with the EPI mimetics and the evolution of consciousness different memes come out of the state of mania no wonder they want people to shut up we've been programmed into a disease of consistency and manic consciousness comes in and opens that up it increases the degrees of freedom which may still include the ego so one consciousness has been widened so much they can still act as a narrow band of the ego but they have all these other degrees of freedom and it makes them seem strange because they never used to act that way I feel like once a person connects with manic consciousness they're officially employed by the universe they're employed by humanity to heal this insanity the ego was actually alien to humanity because humanity is the collective humanity's collective consciousness and for some reason there was this thing that was created that made somebody think that they were separate from everybody else and as soon as they did that they wanted to accumulate stuff and control when it's all one thing so the original separation was really this division in consciousness so the principles that we have as children are go play outside that's something that we do in manic consciousness to as well as sticks and stones we see that words can't hurt us and we actually play with words I'm going to create our of words and we can use words to create our life also get off the couch and stop watching TV TV is boring compared to the universe this is just this is just new means I'm an epi Mehmet ition meme addition I'm an epi mima titian memes from somewhere else memes from mania manic memes autistic kids are immune to the non special messages of society yet they can still learn renaming mental health and mental health is a misnomer because mental cannot be healthy when we're undergoing the process of mentation we're abstracting about reality we're not in reality so we can't act adequately in reality and that creates this distortion which becomes the ego which is out of proportion these are just sounds sounds that may or may not be made sense of so I perceive something ey e perceive and then I harvest it and I say it I turn a perception of seeing something holistically into words and sounds which are just vibrations remember that song from childhood the more we get together the happier we'll be we're prisoners of sounds and images in her mind's and that prevents clear perception if we can see clearly we can act clearly and there is no problem I was renamed by the universe so I'm speaking the memes the universe energy gave me channeled through me they're nothing to do with me if I never speak about it it remains non-physical and I'm making it physical by speaking about it I'm making videos maybe this is like training for surfers of the universe hoping that one day everyone will be able to surf because the tsunami is coming there's something about the field of gravity I haven't figured it out but I realized that people who do floating to feel weightlessness and sensory deprivation sometimes go into altered states of consciousness something about when we're weightless we don't have the ego so much maybe because when we're not in the body anymore we're again weightless and we're not an ego or more the collective human consciousness not sure how it works you haven't figured out this gravity thing entirely yet it's almost like mania is sensory deprivation from the ego not sensing that image of oneself it could be the image of oneself that experiences gravity because that is the collective image of oneself that we have within is what changes our physiology structure away from alignment with gravity so if we were in perfect alignment with gravity all the time in our structure we wouldn't necessarily feel gravity because it would be on our bones the weight would be on our bones not carried in the tension and our muscles trying to hold our physical structure up so in that way we could almost experience weightlessness but over time and just going through the field of gravity it's like we collect gravity in our muscles by these different experiences and injuries that we have over time so in a way our bodies are like chronological time they're like we each have say a hundred years so it's almost like we're a hundred year clock each of us we could sit here and let the clock tick away or actually I thought of the clock analogy of how if you move a clock through time close to the speed of light it doesn't really change time or something I'm not sure of the relativity experiment but basically I realized in a way that our light body maybe travels at the speed of light because it's made of light so and doctor there's a doctor guy who has a lecture called the primacy of consciousness Cameron Bure his name right now but he talks about how from lights perspective nothing is happening so I do feel like we have this adjacent light body that's traveling at the speed of light but is also stationary relative to light and that we physically are moving through time as our body like the hand ticking on the clock it's like each instance of time it's like we tick or physical structure ticks and reference to our light body structure that doesn't really tick but its shadows us and it's I feel like it's our pristine self in a way it's what we are without the accumulated gravity and experience of reality and and images and sound so it's something to do with images sounds and gravity and and the light body is sort of clean from that what I'm saying each time it ticks ticks ticks we get older and we have like say a hundred tix which is a hundred years or however many days but that sort of all we have but not only are we that hand on the clock that's going we're actually affecting the collective structure so perhaps if we're not in alignment with our light body self we have that option we have that free will to go off track of our light body self over time but we can always be snap back into our light body self I think it's like a shedding of the skin in a way each time that happens it's like molting and we go back to our light body self which is our pristine trajectory of our adult child self that is unharmed and then when we go into Maddock consciousness we we step into that or we're sort of translated into that and we feel free but what I'm saying is there's something to do with gravity and light and our own experience and like we are this physical structure we appear as that but we're not really just that it's almost like we're here is that to celebrate being that as for the time that we are that however many years and we take it really seriously and that's part of the disease because kids are not born serious that's the thing I think is that with these new gestures and the manic consciousness energy these new gestures they almost act as role things so you can go get roughed and they'll work on your they'll work on your myofascial and get your muscles into order and do that through physical touch or you can repattern how you use your body you can work on your posture you can repattern how you use your body in mania as well as embodied mania after harvesting mania and that is going to repattern our physical structure closer to our light body version of ourselves and so we're going to feel ourselves less we're going to be if I'm sitting in a certain way and I'm in pain because of that way I'm sitting I'm going to have ego thoughts about my pain and I'm going to be thinking about myself if I'm not in pain I'm not going to be thinking about myself so much and the ego self is an image version of our self that is in psychological pain so between body pain and psychological pain that's creating this like gravity effect and it's perpetuating that so it's important to be in alignment with the field of gravity as well and I think the manic energy puts us back into alignment with that so we're a lighter version of ourselves so we're not so dense and the density could actually be the accumulated stress and strain you know if I take offense to something it's going to be stored in my physiology i'm going to hunch over ever so slightly even if it's a fraction of a degree it's going to affect me and it's going to change me and that's the thing with going into manic consciousness one is free again and sort of immune to those hurts and not necessarily because one's thinking oh I'm not feeling that anymore but just because once so joyful once so joyous once so happy to be alive and ones just sharing that energy openly with other people so part of embody mania is just to go back to that and not be thinking oh I need to heal my pain but just go back to sticks and stones I have bipolar whatever I am bipolar sticks and friggin stones man if you want to say I'm bipolar or somebody wants to say i'll say yeah i am made of light because light is polar i also thought about how in an evolutionary sense back when we're hunter-gatherers we would have really had to use our peripheral vision we would practically had eyes on the back of our heads in terms of our heightened awareness of our surroundings and now over time and with technology we've actually been narrowed into looking at a screen a small screen and that's where most of our focus goes and we're also focused on the mind screen of our own ego psychodrama and when we're doing that we're not focused on the outside image so i drew a picture now we're here and then there's the eye and it's seeing the person out there but then we're seeing it through the old ego image thing so we're not really seeing that person clearly i know that's a really good illustration i like to play with words because playing with words is playing with worlds and this isn't about focus it's about when the focuser is gone the one through which we focus our attention and use to categorize and clarify the opposite of ego focus and knowing is not knowing as being curious is wondering observing being in the state of awe the ego I feel is the factor that leads to mania and psychosis as well as really loud engines the heart beating in a certain pattern tells us what to make salient the more people who can embody mania the more we'll be able to surf over these memes of pathology what does it really mean to be human we connected with disel mania learning playing growing celebrating being silly being kind we know again what it means to be human doesn't take time to have a spontaneous social behavior mania shows us I'm not what I thought I was I'm not who I think I am it's not about I think therefore I am it's I think therefore I am abstracting about reality and not living in reality and in terms of ability shin I wonder which ways children labeled with autism our ability i created this thing called random d contra visions in a manic consciousness experience i had nearly two years ago which was basically putting on ankle weights and holding on to pound weights or having wrist weights on and just spinning around and kicking around and dancing around in ways that we wouldn't normally move I was thinking about how typically we lift weights in certain ways and that's a certain way of moving to contract those muscles and get stronger apparently but the random d contra visions is actually moving in a way that really stretches the spine and also create space in the body and the muscles because one has the weights on the feet and the legs and is kind of spinning around and moving in random ways so lifting weights is contrived it's a contrived way of working out getting strong whereas this other way is doing the opposite thing it's actually d contriving the body because I feel it would also open up some of the ways that we hold ourselves that are us holding back from who we really are and that's another thing about focus is society has decided what focus is and what we should be focusing on and if we're not focusing on something then we can't focus we can't pay attention I'm a program us to pay attention to XYZ and children born with autism can't pay attention to that they can't pay attention they can't be trained like Pavlov's dog

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