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I felt it was really important we set a foundation for the rest of the episodes to come. Once we know and understand our blue print, understanding how we navigate adult relationships will make so much sense. I want you to keep in mind we are not looking back in our childhoods to demonise our parents or beat ourselves up. This is a blue print on how you were loved and how you look for a very similar love. Its so important you walk away from this episode knowing you can change your attachment style. 

Now as we look into this episode this is what you will walk away with:

💥 What each of the 4 attachment styles actually looks like in real life
💥 How your early experiences wired your nervous system to seek certain types of love
💥 Why some people constantly chase connection while others run from it
💥 What kind of upbringing leads to each style (this will hit home)
💥 Why your attachment style is fluid—not fixed—and how you can move toward secure love

Whether you’re in a relationship, healing from one, or trying to understand your patterns, this episode is a deep dive into the emotional blueprint behind how you love, trust, connect, and cope.

You’ll walk away with: ✨ Clarity on your attachment style
 ✨ Compassion for why you show up the way you do
 ✨ And hope that you can absolutely change the way you love—starting now.

🎧 Listen now and on instagram tag @shazmeenbank with your biggest takeaway. I’d love to hear how this lands for you.
📲 Follow on TikTok @shazmeen_bank for more on love, healing & attachment
🌐 Explore my website: www.shazmeenbank.com

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Why you keep falling for the same person, new face and they keep hurting you?

Why do we keep falling for the same toxic relationships? Why does love sometimes feel like pain? Why do we stay—even when we know we should leave?

If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, stuck in relationships that drain you, or trapped in a painful push-and-pull dynamic, this episode is for you.

In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into the psychology of trauma bonds, toxic attachment cycles, and why so many people with anxious attachment find themselves repeating the same painful love stories.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

💔 What a trauma bond REALLY is (and why it’s not love, even if it feels like it)
💔 How your nervous system gets addicted to emotional highs & lows
💔 The hidden childhood patterns that shape your adult relationships
💔 Why anxious attachment makes you chase people who pull away
💔 How to recognize if you’re in a trauma bond (key signs to watch for!)
💔 Why leaving a toxic relationship feels impossible (and how to finally break free)
💔 How to rewire your brain and body for secure, healthy love instead of chaos

Why This Matters:

Many of us don’t even realize we’re repeating the same love story over and over again—because the patterns are deeply wired into our subconscious. We confuse trauma for chemistry. We mistake anxiety for passion. And without even realizing it, we keep attracting partners who mirror our deepest wounds.

But here’s the truth: Healing is possible. Love doesn’t have to hurt.

In this episode, we’re breaking it all down so you can finally understand your patterns, take back your power, and learn how to attract the kind of love that feels safe, secure, and fulfilling.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:
 🧩 “Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners?”
🧩 “Why do I feel addicted to someone who treats me badly?”
🧩 “Why do I stay even when I know I deserve better?”
🧩 “How do I break this toxic cycle for good?”

Then this episode is your sign to dive deep and start healing.

✨ Ready to Break Free? Listen Now!

💬 Let’s keep the conversation going! DM me on Instagram (@shazmeenbank) and tell me your biggest takeaway from today’s episode. I’d love to hear your thoughts! 💖

📲 Follow me on TikTok for more insights & relationship advice: @shazmeen_bank

🌍 Visit my website: www.shazmeenbank.com 

I will open up one on one and couple sessions soon. 

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Why do we feel ashamed for staying in a toxic relationship—even when we know it’s hurting us? The truth is, leaving isn’t as easy as people think, and the shame of staying often keeps us even more stuck. But here’s what no one tells you: you don’t have to feel ashamed.

In this episode, we’re unpacking:
 💔 Why we stay—the emotional, psychological, and even biological reasons that make leaving feel impossible
🧠 The hidden shame—how self-blame, societal judgment, and past wounds fuel our guilt
🚪 Why leaving is so hard—and why that doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken
🌱 Releasing the shame—how to shift from self-blame to self-compassion so you can move forward

If you’ve ever thought “I know this is toxic… so why can’t I just leave?”—this episode is for you. You are not alone, and you are not weak. Shame only keeps us stuck, but understanding why we feel it is the first step to breaking free.

🎧 Tune in now. Let’s break the cycle together and learn to love ourselves Better.

4o

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Why do we crave love, yet end up in relationships that feel like an emotional tug-of-war? The anxious-avoidant trap is one of the most common yet painful relationship cycles—one person seeks closeness, while the other pulls away. If you've ever felt like you're chasing someone who won’t commit or avoiding someone who wants more from you, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I open up about:
 💔 The anxious-avoidant dynamic and why it creates push-pull relationships
 💭 Why anxious and avoidant partners are drawn to each other (but struggle to stay happy)
 🚪 How avoidants retreat and why anxious partners feel abandoned
 ✨ The cycle that keeps this dynamic going—and how to break free

If you’ve ever wondered can we get out of this negative cycle and what is this pattern all about —this episode will give you the answers.

🎧 Tune in now and let’s break the cycle together.

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This episode took a lot of vulnerability yet almost two years into healing to be able to share. I share because so many of you are silently hoping for a bette relationship and many of you write to me and ask me how do i just "love better". This episode covers, pain, shame, guilt, confusion, wonder, loss and self discovery. We look into the dynamics of anxious and avoidant relationships and it takes a lot to be brave and truly discuss these topics in order to free ourselves to heal. How do we love better, how do we love another when we can not be honest with ourselves on where we really are and who we are and what we deeply desire? I hope this episode allows you the freedom to go within and be brave about your own relationships and the most important one, that with yourself. 

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It really becomes our option on how we rise daily from our slumber to face the day. If you feel that you must approach life like a warrior, you will live on the battle field. 

If you choose to encouture your day with joy and gratitude, you will move the energy that does not match your frequency OUT OF THE WAY!

You can not change the noise of the world. you can only silence the voice in your mind. 

May you have a better day.

Been in that painful place where you are just taking the wrath of what others are saying and doing. You are busy trying to fix it. Trying to fix them. You walk away crying or deeply wounded and later end up spoiling in anger. 

What if, it has nothing to do with you. What if you do not need to correct them but control your reactions around them? 

We take a lot personally but maybe this person is lashing out because of what they are dealing with and going through?

Sometimes, it is just not about you.  We did nothing wrong. You are just in a vortex of their energy and you need to maintain your boundaries and tempo. 

You are not always the trigger.

We grow up always wondering if we are meant to be more. We grow up knowing there is so much more for us. But as we grow we slowly lose more and more of who we are because we become someone for others. 

May this episode gently guide you to finding yourself. And may you know, you are special, everything you want is possible, the minute you believe you are deserving of so much more. 

Unmask and fly. 

On this episode of the voice, I talk about trading lustful, meaningless sex, for developing the real need to bond and find meaning with our mates, our lover, our partner. 

I speak to and help so many that feel burned from one night stands or are in relationships simply driven by sex, and sex alone. 

And at some point we are seeking more. We want emotional connection. We want to mentally be able to have meaningful conversations. 

We want to Physically be touched with no inclination of sex. 

Is it possible? Is it possible to build a foundation so beautiful that when you choose to have sex its no longer sex, its art? 

I invite you to look into your own life and see where or what you long for in the relationship other than sex.

We all want the passion but at a cost? Cost of being vulnerable and striving to build a wholesome relationship?

All relationships hit that point where you wonder will this work or not... together Mohammed and I, shazmeen Bank talk you through how so much can change to bring you two back from the edge.