I'm sure some of us (no, let's admit it, all of us) have asked oruselves or others, possibly when we're stoned, if we could be any animal which would we pick? A dog? Most of us might choose a dog, they're so lovable and cuddly and want to be for their masters. But what about a turtle? Or a lobster? Or a parrot? What kinds of existential questions come with becoming something... else?

This might be the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the premise of The Lobster, about a man in a society where people have to be married or else they'll be turned into an animal (of their choosing, it's not quite like Kafka but maybe it is in more ways than you'd expect).

But what else does this rather eccentric film have to offer? Well, funny you should ask that because on this special episode of the Wages of Cinema, the 'we' this time is Jack and only ONE guest being Jack's wife and previous podcast guest Korey (no Andrew, though, aptly enough, he gave our blessing, so to speak).

Oh, and while mild story details come about around the 15 minute mark, if you don't want major spoilers turn it off at 27:45 into the show.

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(song featured: Beatles "Got to Hide Your Love Away, fair use, hey, it's what the movie's about, sort of).

First of all, WOO HOO! WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 50! ::blows horns, does a jig::

Second, couple of things to get out of the way: 1) the audio may sound wonky at times due to an air conditioner that was close by (welcome to summer!), we apologize in advance for that, and 2) if you want to avoid SPOILERS stop listening at 29:24 into the podcast (or when the reprisal of 'Sweet Dreams' comes up).

Now, what to make of the 3rd X-Men movie in this series of "prequels" (or 9th overall for all X-Men related movies in 16 years)? We probe into many of the how's and what's what why's and WTF's of this latest Bryan Singer/Simon Kinberg collaboration which introduces the villain of the title (as played by... wait, that IS Oscar Isaac? Why Gods why?)

We answer many of the questions you may have, or wouldn't even think to ask, in this long review that of course, considering how Apocalypse has his "Four Horsemen" (though in this case it's 2 women and 2 men, hashtagFeminsim), we felt it apt to have four of our own, so joining us once again are the team from our AGE OF ULTRON review; Matthew Catania (who you can visit at mattthecatania.wordpress.com) and Korey Hughes!

Have any thoughts on the movie? Email us at [email protected] or facebook,com/wagesofcinema

Songs: Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams and Metallica: Four Horsemen

Who is James Rolfe? Ever hear of him or the Angry Video Game Nerd online? Maybe you've seen the movie he made based on his character or seen some of his reviews of games that he takes you back to the past to play and which may suck a particular body part. Well, anyway, we're not here to promote him, per-say, however we did take a look at his "Ghostbusters" *non* review, and it branches off not just about what we think of him putting out a video explaining his reasons why he won't see the film, but what the internet's reaction was and about the era of hype and trailers and massive, undying properties that seem to come out at a rate too fast to count. And really, ultimately, if the movie stinks (or you think it might)... should you go?

Jack and Andrew debate many things in this special hour-long main topic, and if you'd like to leave us a question or comment... well, listen in to hear the email address, ok?

(music features Elmer Bernstein and orchestral AVGN theme)

cinemassacre.com

Sometimes you just don't have enough dough to go to the museum, preferably the Russian art and history museum. And sometimes you don't have the transportation to get there, or the means to grab a hold of a book of Russian history (not that there isn't Wikipedia, but you want something that makes you feel *immersed* in the last 300 years of what Russia's gone through). However, if you have Netflix, or access to a DVD player, and you want to also soak in one of the only films in existence to pull off a feature-length tightrope walk of doing it ALL in one unbroken take, then RUSSIAN ARK is certainly a work of art to at least attempt if not watch once or many times over.

To this point, Andrew goes so deep into this film he nearly becomes one of the paintings! Here he is discussing his Cinema Immersion Tank challenge with this Aleksander Sokurov film from 2002.

In this first part of our latest Wages of Cinema podcast, it's time to talk... movies, of course! And we got a lot of them (or Jack does, but Andrew has an accomplishment that you should listen to and congratulate him on). From blockbusters of the nearly forgotten kind to horror and thrillers both new and classic (including a major tip of the hat to Mike Flanagan), and a David Bowie 1973 concert film, we got a lot of things to share with you fine listeners, including:

1) THE LONE RANGER (2013)

2) JANE GOT A GUN (2016)

3) MONEY MONSTER (2016)

4) THE DARKNESS (2016)

5) WAIT UNTIL DARK (1967)

6) CAPE FEAR (1962)

7) THE RING (2002)

8) HUSH (2016)

9) OCULUS (2013)

10) ABSENTIA (2011)

11) THE NICE GUYS (2016)

12) SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)

13) DARK CITY (1998) (director's cut)

14) BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS (1980)

15) PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (2008)

16) ZIGGY STARDUST AND THE SPIDERS FROM MARS (1973)

Music is from Duke Ellington and the William Tell Overture

From the look of things this year, between Fox with their X-Men movies and DC with their franchises and Marvel continuing their cinematic universe (and Sony, well, they now have no choice but to co-parent Spider-Man with Disney, but I digress), it looks as though there's no other space for movies that might come from other comic books or graphic novels in the world. But Jack and Andrew are here to break down a gigantic, can't-hold-it-in-our-stomachs-its-gonna-burst list of films from the past 40+ years that have come from the medium of sequential art and words.

Movies like, as a brief example (though not all of the films to be sure): SCOTT PILGRIM - SIN CITY (1 and 2), BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR - OLDBOY - HELLBOY - A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE - GHOST WORLD - DREDD - AMERICAN SPLENDOR - THE ROCKETEER - FLASH GORDON - THE CROW and more! This is a super-packed episode with lots of trivia, awkward comedic beats, and new puns that haven't even been invented yet (until now!)

Intro song is the theme from Sin City

Outtro song is Syd Vallentine

Boy, being a witch once was really difficult...

Jack looks at the 1922 silent film by Benjamin Christensen, HAXAN: WITCHCRAFT THROUGH THE AGES in this week's Cinema Immersion Tank, where we each watch a film five times in a row.

What to uncover this episode? Well, let's see... SATAN!?

(Features music from the film, Haxan, which is in the public domain, and snippets of the song 'Black Sabbath', used as fair use)

Since Andrew can't seem to get the Batman v Superman episode out of his head - the justice is now in the day when it was once just a dawn, of course - he goes back ten years and checks out Bryan Singer's version of a Superman sequel-cum-reboot, SUPERMAN RETURNS. Then, at 21 minutes in, Jack gets to discussing films he's seen over the past two weeks that range from new movies of the independent passion-project variety, brutal thriller-horror, and action-comedy, last year's Oscar bait, the old west of 1950s/60's Hollywood (that remade Japan epics), and all the way back to a Thomas Edison 1-minute short that is still controversial today (and how about some Stan Brakhage while we're at it?) Lots to discuss, and it's all here at the Wages of Cinema!

Movies:

1) SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006)

2) THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1960)

3) GREEN ROOM (2016)

4) BLUE RUIN (2014)

5) THE DANISH GIRL (2015)

6) MILES AHEAD (2016)

7) JANIS: LITTLE GIRL BLUE (2015)

8) JOHN WICK (2014)

9) KEANU (2016)

10) DOG STAR MAN (1962-64)

11) TIME CHASERS (MST3K and RIFFTRAX) (1994)

12) ELECTROCUTING AN ELEPHANT (1903)

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(intro music is Duke Ellington, outro music is Scott Joplin)

(PLEASE NOTE: Spoilers begin at 26:11 into the podcast, right after the audio clip from the movie)

Imagine this, fellow listeners: a comic book movie with people who have special abilities and powers and can punch and kick and move and flip and fly really fast and awesomely... with stakes? What happens when the philosophies of characters get challenged by the world in ways that feel impactful? Civil War, the latest film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe which acts as a sequel-cum-culmination of what's been set up in the Iron Man, Captain America and Avengers movies, looks to asking some moral questions about responsibility and accountability.

This may sound heavy, and being Marvel this usually doesn't sound heavy for too long (keep in mind two characters do pop up who bring the wisecracks, won't say who just now). But the real question Jack and Andrew have is... didn't we just see this with Batman v Superman? Can they possibly do it better? How could they possibly on God's Green-as-Hulk earth do worse?

We wrestle with this questions as we look at the new Captain America movie, and Jack's wife Korey (as you may discover by some of her lingo a PHD in Political Science) comes in and gives her thoughts for part of the podcast.

(Please also note, the podcast actually ends at 1 hour 5 minutes in, the rest of the podcast is empty noise for some reason)

visit us at [email protected] with any questions or comments, and on https://www.facebook.com/wagesofcinema and https://www.twitter.com/wagesofcinema and instagram/wagesofcinema

It's one thing when you meet an actress - seemingly in New York city you can poke a stick any which way and come up with someone who's been on Law & Order or at least auditioned - but it's another when you meet someone who has their proverbial s*** together, and has a business no less. This is Jordan Elizabeth Gelber, who has been featured on shows like One Life to Live, House of Cards and (most recently) The Americans, but is also the CEO of Starbaby Enterprises, which is a company that offers support and consultation for actors, and features then in monologues and other videos on the youtube page (see link below).

We also talk what it's like to go to a Performing Arts high school (like Fame, you ask?) and what it's like to go from an indie film to a set like the Americans. It was an informative conversation and fun too, with insight into someone who has talent and is an entrepreneur.

(A small technical note: this was our first podcast done via Skype, so if there are a few moments where it sounds a little rough around the edges we apologize in advance.)

Visit Starbaby on the web at www.starbabyenterprises.net

Jordan Elizabeth Gelber on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Jordan-Elizabeth-Gelber-149942638383168/?fref=ts

And Starbaby on youtube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSMM-VDFMUlXYPF8-7HJpiQ

(Clip from Manhattan Monologue Slam, used by permission)