Depression is really hard. It hurts when your sad and your just grasping for the next thing that can make you feel even just a little a bit better. Every time I fixate on one thing, tricking myself into believing its the solution so when things like medication that are the solution, I don't believe it. I need to get treated and I need to see a doctor but waiting for it is so hard. I've been waiting for the next best answer and now slowly disappointing myself. I don't know what to do. I'm just.. just. I don't know.