Danny DeVito has done all manner of laughter, seriousness and biopics for going on 50 years. When he directs movies though, they tend to be dark comedies. Pitch black. Case in point, the often-meanspirited War Of The Roses, which is his best and funniest film. Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner are just about at their career best as the (title) hateful married couple. They're rich yuppies, who have everything, until they commit to destroying it all because neither will let the other get to keep their big house. He's oblivious and patronizing while she's resentful and, eventually, murderous. But since DeVito's tongue is always in his cheek, it's a lot of fun. So don't let your empty nest get wrecked by spite. Take a breath, cherish those tchotchkes and, for the love of the kids, listen to the 629th edition of Have You Ever Seen as we talk about the Roses going to War.

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