The Weekly Dose

It is Wednesday MAY 27th, Let’s start the podcast!

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1647: Alse Young became the first person executed as a witch in America when she was hanged in Hartford, Connecticut.

• 1930: The 1,046 feet tall Chrysler Building in New York — the tallest man-made structure at the time — opened to the public.

• 1937: The Golden Gate Bridge connecting San Francisco and Marin County, California, opened.

• 1939: DC Comics published its second superhero in Detective Comics #27 — Batman.

• 1995: In Charlottesville, Virginia, actor Christopher Reeve was paralyzed from the neck down after falling from his horse in a riding competition.

• 2009: An absent-minded Japanese doctor forgot about a patient and went home for lunch. The doctor had anesthetized an elderly patient so he could carry out a check up and left her to recover while he went home to his nearby apartment for a quick bite to eat. But the old woman woke up in an empty and locked doctor’s office and had to call police for help.

• 2013: The largest flag ever made — at 5 tons with 44 miles of thread — was unveiled in Romania.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Senior Health & Fitness Day

• Sunscreen Day

• World Otter Day

• Italian Beef Day

• Grape Popsicle Day

NUMBER FOR THE DAY

25,000: Women who cancel their wedding each year in the U.S.

NEWS ATTACK!

- A survey of teachers finds at least 20 percent are worried about their health when schools reopen this fall.

- Walt Disney World is presenting its plans today for reopening.

- Researchers have come up with a list of the top fifty songs that will put you in a good mood. I don’t have that list so suck it!

- In 2021 a new automaker will release a new all-electric pickup called The Endurance.

- Google recently had a problem with short outages after a fiber cable fell to the ground and was occasionally stepped on by a cow.

- Harry Potter author JK Rowling has written a new children’s book she says is a “stand-alone fairy tale.”

- A new survey finds more Americans prefer their burgers well done. The most popular topping is cheese. Ketchup is the most popular condiment.

- A Florida woman was arrested for “spitting on groceries during the COVID-19 pandemic,” according to police who say the suspect also threatened to beat up customers at a supermarket.

- Jack Rico is only 13, but he now has four associate’s degrees from Fullerton College in California and will be continuing his education at the University of Nevada on a full scholarship.

- Denmark will start allowing people from neighboring nations to cross the border to visit their boyfriends or girlfriends.

What’s the weirdest thing your family does that you’ve always thought was normal?

• A friend’s family eats corn on the cob for dessert.
• Put ice in milk.
• In my family, we finished the chicken to the bone. No meat, no gristle, nothing left. If you did not finish it, someone, usually my mom, would finish it for you.
• Growing up we would always eat dinner super late. Like 8 or 9 at night.

Water Cooler Question

In a typical year around 450,000 Americans finish one of these. (A marathon)

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It is Tuesday MAY 26th, Let’s start the podcast!

• 1896: The Dow Jones Industrial Average was first published. The average price of the 11 initial stocks was 40.94

• 1969: Apollo 10 returned to Earth after a mission that served as a dress rehearsal for the first moon landing.

• 1977: George H. Willig scaled the outside of the south tower of New York’s World Trade Center; he was arrested at the top of the 110-story building.

• 1978: The first legal casino in the eastern United States opened in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

• 1994: Singer Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley were married in the Dominican Republic. They were divorced 19 months later.

• 1998: The Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island — historic gateway for millions of immigrants — is mainly in New Jersey, not New York.

• 2004: Terry Nichols was found guilty of 161 state murder charges for helping carry out the Oklahoma City bombing. He later received 161 consecutive life sentences.

• 2009: President Barack Obama nominated federal appeals judge Sonia Sotomayor to be the first Hispanic justice on the Supreme Court.

• 2015: Hackers stole personal data for about 100,000 taxpayers after breaking into a U.S. Internal Revenue Service system that allows taxpayers to retrieve previous tax returns.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Chardonnay Day

• Blueberry Cheesecake Day

• Cherry Dessert Day

• Dracula Day

• Paper Airplane Day

NUMBER FOR THE DAY

8: Seconds it took to bring down the bombed-out federal building in Oklahoma City on May 23, 1995.

NEWS

- Elon Musk and Grimes have slightly altered their new baby’s name. It now includes roman numerals. The new streaming service HBO Max debuts Wednesday.

- New Zealand’s prime minister was in the middle of a TV interview when her country experienced a minor earthquake.

- The tallest man in the country is 7-foot-eight-inches.

- Like presidents before him, Donald Trump attended a Memorial Day ceremony and relaxed with some golf.

- In a survey, 70% of us would rather watch movies at home than in the theater after the pandemic.

- A survey finds a third of husbands check with their wives before touching the thermostat.

Three in 10 adults have been ‘food shamed’ due to their dietary requirements or preferences. And of those 30 percent of adults, about a third have been accused of lying about their special dietary needs.

The cold storage stockpile of American and total natural cheeses rose 8 percent in April, the biggest single monthly gain since 2012. There are now 1.5 billion pounds of cheese in cold storage, the highest level on record since the USDA first decided to start asking around about cheese in 1917.

Consumers have said they’re fatigued — actually, plain sick and tired — of doom and gloom forecasts and negative pandemic-related news. What they want to hear now, particularly from advertisers, are “hopeful, comforting and supportive” messages.

Water Cooler Question

Before making it in show business, Sandra Bullock, Russell Crowe, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart and Bruce Willis all worked as what? (Bartenders)

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It is Thursday MAY 21th, Let’s start the podcast!

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1819: The first bicycles, imported from England, appeared on the streets of New York City. Within a month, the city banned the new-fangled machines as being hazardous to public safety.

• 1881: The American Red Cross was established by Clara Barton.

• 1927: Charles Lindbergh touched down at Le Bourget Field in Paris, completing the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean.

• 1932: Amelia Earhart, because of bad weather, landed in a pasture in Derry, Northern Ireland, becoming the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

• 1945: Screen legend Humphrey Bogart married actress Lauren Bacall.

• 1956: The United States exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb, over Bikini Atoll in the Pacific.

• 1998: A Fullerton, California, man finally paid off his 1958 divorce with a check for $180 to his attorney. The 70-year-old client said he always intended to pay the bill, but with six kids and health problems, it took him 40 years to get caught up.

• 1999: Susan Lucci, star of the ABC soap opera All My Children, won her first Daytime Emmy Award for best actress in the 19th straight year she was nominated.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Eat More Fruits & Vegetables Day

• Waitstaff Day

• Strawberries and Cream Day

NUMBER FOR THE DAY

330 million: M&Ms consumed by Americans each day.

NEWS ATTACK!

- The government says all pharmacists can now administer COVID-19 tests.

- Nichole Kidman went for a run and suffered a small break in her ankle.

- There are now over 100 weather-related satellites orbiting Earth.

- Donald Trump’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen, will serve the rest of his prison term at home.

- The NBA homes to return in July.

- Thanks to the pandemic sales of bikes, roller skates and skateboards are way up.

- You’re not alone if you’ve packed on the pounds during the quarantine. A survey found that the average American has gained five pounds while on lockdown. Out of 2,000 people polled, most have gained weight due to alcohol and bread. Back during the Great Recession 32 percent of Americans said they had gained weight due to stress

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ROBBERS CHOOSE COP HANGOUT _ In South Africa a gang made a fatal mistake when they held up a restaurant and failed to notice the five police officers — in uniform — that were enjoying a meal.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: FISH TANK DIVER POSTS PROFANITY-LACED CONFESSION TO FACEBOOK _ A Florida man who jumped into a Bass Pro store fish tank (in Fort Myers) taunted deputies on Facebook. Daniel Armendariz admits to diving into the tank, delivering a profanity-laced confession in a video posted on Facebook. He told authorities in his confession that he would turn himself in when he was ready.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: OVERTURNED TRACTOR TRAILER COVERS HIGHWAY IN MAC AND CHEESE _ A stretch of highway in Tennessee was covered in an orange mess that spilled from a tractor trailer. The truck overturned Wednesday morning, dumping 40,000 pounds of macaroni and cheese.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN WHO DID PUSH-UPS ON TOP OF MOVING CAR SOUGHT BY POLICE _ The Milwaukee Police Department is asking for the public’s help to track down a man who was caught on video doing push-ups on top of a moving vehicle. In the video, you can see the man climb out of the rear passenger-side window, and onto the roof of the moving car. The shirtless man then does about two push-ups before the video ends.

Water Cooler Question

One in three men say they are “very good” at this. (Cooking)

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It is Wednesday MAY 20th

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1845: HMS Erebus and HMS Terror, with 134 men under John Franklin, sailed from the River Thames in England, beginning a disastrous expedition to find the Northwest Passage. All perished.

• 1873: Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis received a patent for blue jeans with copper rivets.

• 1916: The small town of Codell, Kansas, was struck by a tornado. Incredibly, the same town was also hit in 1917 and 1918 on the exact same date.

• 1927: Charles Lindbergh took off from Roosevelt Field in Long Island, New York, on the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean, touching down at Le Bourget Field in Paris the next day.

• 1932: Amelia Earhart took off from Newfoundland to begin the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean by a female pilot. She landed in Ireland the next day.

• 1993: To celebrate the final episode of TV’s Cheers, Jay Leno did The Tonight Show live from the Bull & Finch bar. Most of the Cheers cast seemed to be drunk.

• 2001: Burglars entered a warehouse near Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, disconnected the video security system, and made off with $526,000 worth of extra-strength throat lozenges.

• 2007: In England Christopher Carlton broke into a Rolls Royce dealership and grabbed several of the company’s computers. And since he was in a Rolls dealership, he took one of their expensive cars for his getaway, right? Wrong. For reasons known only to Chris, he chose as his getaway vehicle a large forklift. Not surprisingly that attracted the attention of the police and he was quickly apprehended.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Employee Health & Fitness Day

• Rescue Dog Day

• World Bee Day

• Quiche Lorraine Day

• Pick Strawberries Day

NUMBER FOR THE DAY

70,000: Health-related searches on Google every minute.

NEWS ATTACK!

The 2021 Oscars could be delayed. [If they wait long enough they could combine them with the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards.]

If you have a gift card to Pier 1 Imports, use it after they reopen because they’re going to close all their stores. [Also, dump the friend who gave you the gift card to Pier 1 Imports.]

Pier 1 Imports will close all 540 stores. [Keanu Reeves will star in the story of how Pier 1 was founded. It’ll be titled John Wicker.]

In Houston a woman was struck in the ankle with a dart as part of a gender reveal stunt. [It’s not coronavirus we have to worry about, it’s gender reveals.]

Breaking a 40-year tradition Donald Trump won’t be unveiling former President Barack Obama’s portrait at the White House. [However, he agreed to stay within the lines while coloring in Obama’s picture in the official Presidents of the U.S. Coloring Book.]

A story this week says some Americans are driving to other states to get haircuts because their home state still isn’t allowing them. One guy drove 600 miles to visit a barber. [Because you need to look your best as they hook you up to the respirator.]

Memorial Day is Monday. [Here’s a barbecuing tip for Memorial Day: If the crew of the International Space Station calls your house to see if everybody’s OK, you’ve got too much charcoal in the grill.]

Pringles has a new chip that tastes like corn on the cob. [A potato chip that tastes like corn? This is the worst food invention since carrot sticks.]

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: A bull named Ron was the cause of a power outage in a town in Scotland. The owner of the bull wrote on a local Facebook group: “Our bull Ron would like to apologize to everyone … for causing last night’s power cut. He had [an] itchy bum so [he] scratched it on the electricity pole and knocked the transformer box off.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: A concerned Florida citizen called police to let them know about a man who was wrestling with an alligator in a ditch along the side of a road. When an officer arrived he spoke to a shirtless white male in a dried canal bank. The officer didn’t see an alligator in the area. The shirtless man said that there was an alligator in the sewer with multiple small babies and that he was trying to help them. The man said he was removing some of the mud in the sewer to let more fish move through and make it to the alligators. After a few questions, the officer determined that the man’s only intention was to help local wildlife.

Water Cooler Question

Roughly four in ten men have no desire to know whether or not their partner has done this. (Had plastic surgery, Botox, hair extensions, or any other type of body-mod procedure.)

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It is Tuesday MAY 19th, Let’s start the podcast!

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1310: Shoes were designed specifically for the right and left foot for the first time since the fall of the Roman Empire.

• 1962: A birthday salute to U.S. President John F. Kennedy took place at Madison Square Garden, New York. The highlight was Marilyn Monroe’s infamous rendition of Happy Birthday.

• 1972: Dan Gorske’s Big Mac odyssey began. The Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, man consumed eight Big Macs to begin his streak of eating the McDonald’s hamburger sandwich every day.He eats two a day.

• 1991: A 31-year-old Cleveland skydiver survived a two-mile fall after her parachute failed to open. Jill Shields suffered spine and pelvic injuries when she landed in a swamp.

• 1999: Beckley, West Virginia, police arrested a 32-year-old man for stealing the same tools he had been convicted of stealing two years before. The tools had not been claimed, so the police planted them in a vehicle stake-out, and the suspect stole them again.

• 2007: Donald Trump, whose low-rated reality show The Apprentice was left off the new prime-time schedule unveiled by NBC, said the network couldn’t fire him because he was quitting.

• 2011: Katie Couric, the first regular solo anchorwoman of a network evening newscast, signed off the CBS Evening News for the last time after five years.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Scooter Day

• Devil’s Food Cake Day

NUMBER FOR THE DAY

820,000: Golf balls sold worldwide every day.

NEWS ATTACK!

To make up for lost sales car manufacturers are offering some of the best deals in years. [A friend bought a new car last week and loaded it up: sunroof, driver assist, windows that automatically tint when you put your finger in your nose…]

J.C. Penney plans to close more than a quarter of its stores. [See, I keep telling everyone the penny isn’t popular.]

The newest reason to hate 2020: A deadly virus is threatening to wipe out entire populations of North American rabbits. [Great, Easter 2021 is already ruined.]

Donald Trump says he is taking a drug that science says is not effective against coronavirus and may be harmful. [We’ll never know its effect since the first sign of trouble is orange skin.]

A study shows that rats will make personal sacrifices to rescue a fellow rat, even giving up the opportunity to eat chocolate. [Give up chocolate? I’d really have to know that guy pretty well.]

Engineers are redesigning door handles so we don’t have to touch them. [This is why wear shirts with mittens buttoned to the sleeves.]

A study reveals that happiness comes with age. [I’d have to agree with that — I’m getting older and have happiness growths all over my body.]

A South African woman won damages of $13,000 after a toilet collapsed beneath her at a hospital. The woman was visiting her husband in the hospital when she needed to use the toilet. She told the court she still suffered pain as the result of injuries sustained in the incident. In her testimony, the woman said that seconds after she sat down, the toilet bowl shattered beneath her. She landed on broken pieces of the toilet bowl, and her right knee was twisted and trapped under rubble.

Water Cooler Question

Early in its existence FedEx was able to stay afloat because its founder raised $27,000 how?

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It is Monday MAY 18th, Let’s start the podcast!

Let’s start your day with - IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1876: Wyatt Earp started work in Dodge City, Kansas under Marshal Larry Deger.

• 1897: Dracula, a novel by Irish author Bram Stoker, was published.

• 1910: The Earth passed through the tail of Comet Halley. 

• 1953: Jackie Cochran became the first woman to break the sound barrier. She flew in a F-86 Sabrejet at an average speed of 652.337 miles per hour at Rogers Dry Lake, California.

• 1980: Mount St. Helens erupted in Washington, killing 57 people and causing $3 billion in damage.

• 2009: Australian researchers said that tall workers earn more than their shorter colleagues, especially among men.

• 2012: Retired American psychiatrist Robert Spitzer said his 2001 study was “fatally flawed”. The study falsely supported the myth that gay people could be “cured”.

• 2013: A rare 19th century torpedo was discovered off the coast of California.

Todays Reasons to Party

• EMS (Emergency Medical Services) Week

• Unicycle Week

• Tire Safety Week

• Buy A Musical Instrument Day

• International Museum Day

• Visit Your Relatives Day

• Cheese Souffle Day

NUMBER FOR THE DAY

132: That is the Number of islands that make up Hawaii. another number is zero, which the number of those Islands I’ve visited. 

NEWS ATTACK!

- A woman in Kentucky gave birth in a hospital parking lot.

- NASCAR returned over the weekend, but there were no fans in the stands.

- A California church that defied an order not to gather now has 180 members in 14-day self-quarantine after a coronavirus-infected person attended service on Mother’s Day. What did you think would happen? 

- A Wyoming strip club has reopened. All the dancers are wearing masks. - sexy

- The new Space Force flag was unveiled in a White House ceremony.

- In a typical year, parents will spend an average of $2,256 on their family vacation or vacations.

- The State Department inspector general who was fired was investigating a report that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo made a staffer walk his dog.

Billionaire Mark Cuban has an economic stimulus idea: Everyone gets a $1,000 check every two weeks for the next two months. The catch is each check must be spent within ten days or it expires - I cold spend it in a hour

- Police in Germany say a man used so much bug killer in his house that it blew up when a spark from his computer ignited the aerosol spray. The explosion caused almost $200,000 in damages and the man managed to escape with just minor injuries.

- A middle-aged woman in Brazil is suing the police for mistaking two bags of flour she was carrying for cocaine. The woman spent two days in jail after a cop arrested her on the way home from the supermarket where she bought the flour.

Water Cooler Question

64 percent of Americans believe this is the most important quality for a successful relationship. (Sense of humor)

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It is Saturday May 15th: Let’s start your weekend!

- As the coronavirus death toll ticks up and some states ease their restrictions, a new study suggests that men might be more likely to leave their face coverings at home. Men in the US report less intention than women to wear face coverings, especially in counties that don’t mandate wearing them, according to a study (Mathematical Science Research Institute in Berkeley, California). This, the authors say, suggests that making face coverings mandatory “has a larger effect on men than on women.”

- A survey shows 88% of workers have lied for a boss or supervisor.

- A South Carolina restaurant partially reopening for dine-in customers is keeping the tables compliant with social distancing guidelines by filling the dining room with blow-up dolls. The Open Hearth restaurant (in Taylors) closed its dining room due to the COVID-19 pandemic March 17 and was allowed to reopen this week with a reduced capacity and a requirement that customers are seated 6 feet apart. The owners of the eatery said they didn’t want the restaurant to look empty when customers came in to eat.

- A British charity is seeking volunteers willing to walk barefoot over Lego bricks to raise money for children with disabilities. Caudwell Children, a charity providing practical and emotional support to children with disabilities and their families, said it is seeking volunteers to participate from their own homes in the May 31 Lego Walk. The charity create pre-recorded instructional videos to show the volunteers how to safely walk across a pile of Lego bricks.

- Creepy! Wichita, Kansas, police arrested a 14-year-old boy who allegedly entered a home and was caught on camera standing directly over a sleeping girl. The teen faces charges of aggravated burglary and theft.

- For those of us who suffer from seasonal allergies, the spring and summer can be miserable. A few tweaks to your daily routine can keep the outdoors from invading your home. The blog Apartment Therapy gives some great ideas, but here’s one we’ve never heard: change your clothes and shoes as soon as you enter your home. Leaving the clothes by the door prevents the transfer of allergens into other rooms. Don’t bring these clothes into the bedroom and put them in the hamper, either — that brings allergens into the bedroom and defeats the purpose.

- If you bite your tongue or stub your toe, your first instinct is probably to yell “Ow!” But have you ever wondered why that is? According to a study, being vocal could actually help you tolerate the pain. Researchers tested how long subjects could keep their hands immersed in very cold water before they couldn’t take it anymore. They found that saying “ow” during the experiment increased the subjects’ tolerance for pain.

- A new study examining people’s cleaning frequencies and their personality traits revealed Americans who are “super clean” are twice as happy with their overall lives than those who believe themselves to be “messy.” The study surveyed 2,000 Americans and divided them into three self-identifying groups: super clean, moderately clean and messy. The super cleans were found to be more content in family matters, have a better sex life, get better sleep, have more career satisfaction, and felt less stressed.

WHAT IS A FACT THAT CAN POSSIBLY SAVE YOUR LIFE?

Some tips from the reddit community.

• This is a New Zealand specific one, but all emergency numbers work here. The official number is 111. But 999, 000, 911, etc. will all work. This is so that tourists can still reach emergency services easily.

• When having a heart attack, you don’t swallow asprin, you chew it.

• If your vomit look like coffee grounds you are bleeding internally and you need to go to the hospital.

• There are no rules if a stranger puts their hands on you. Yell, scream, kick, bite, make the biggest scene you possibly can and run away as fast as you can. And share this info with your children.

• If someone is in trouble and you want to leap in to save them, make sure you have a way to get out yourself.

• If you are ever buried in rubble (earthquake, tornado, building collapse etc) don’t shout — you’ll lose your voice and waste energy. Instead, grab a piece of rubble and knock in patterns of threes. Humans are expert pattern makers and pattern notices. Rescuers will hear the distinctive pattern sound and go toward it. Once you can hear people, use your voice.

• If someone grabs you by the arm, don’t pull away — twist your arm instead. Your arm goes (nearly) all directions but their wrists won’t.

• If the ocean is retreating there is a tsunami coming, evacuate the beach immediately.

• If a tornado looks like it isn’t moving, it’s heading right towards you.

• All firearms are loaded. Even if they are not, they are.

• If you need to call 911 and you’re too busy helping the victim (CPR) specifically point at someone and say, “You! Call 911!” instead of “somebody call 911!” It snaps a person out of bystanders effect and they act.

News

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: FLORIDA MAN SKEPTICAL OF CORONAVIRUS GETS INFECTED _ A man in Jupiter, Florida, who admits he was skeptical that the coronavirus was a real threat, has a new outlook after contracting the virus. Around this time last month, rideshare driver Brian Hitchens was a self-proclaimed COVID-19 skeptic. He says he thought “maybe the government trying something, and it was kind of like they threw it out there to kinda distract us.” He made Facebook posts downplaying the seriousness. Fast forward to this week and Hitchens has a whole new outlook from his hospital bed. It hits even closer to home for Hitchens after his wife was admitted to the same hospital at the same time for coronavirus. She’s been on a ventilator for three weeks.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SNAKE SWALLOWS BARBECUE TONGS _ What’s the last thing your family pet swallowed? A sock? A child’s toy? A pet python in Australia had to undergo surgery to remove a pair of barbecue tongs he swallowed.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DRIVER FACES JAIL FOR F-BOMBING TRAFFIC TICKET _ (CAUTION) A driver in China faced some jail time for signing a traffic ticket with the Chinese equivalent for “[blank] your mother.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN ‘SLUGS’ WOMAN _ A man in Sweden who dumped a bag of “killer” slugs in a neighbor woman’s garden was been found guilty of “adult bullying”. The man denied he had behaved badly towards the woman, but witnesses contradicted his testimony, saying they had often seen the man hanging around the neighbor’s house. The man was ordered to pay almost $2,000 in fines and damages.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MASK BABY BREAKS WINDOW, STEALS PANTIES _ In Connecticut, Jason Daddario was asked to leave a McDonald’s (in Brooklyn, CT) for failing to comply with a statewide order to wear masks in businesses to curb the spread of the coronavirus. Daddario didn’t like being told what to do and threw the rock through the window. After that, in an alleged unrelated crime, Dadario stole several pairs of “ladies underwear” from a nearby Walmart. He tried to flee but thought better of it when a police dog met him as he left the store.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COPS CATCH SUSPECT AFTER FART BLOWS COVER _ UK cops caught a suspect after an ill-timed fart revealed his hiding place. The bizarre arrest happened on Thursday (in Harworth). Officers chased one man into the woods in the dark–– but another suspect was caught after police heard a noise “believed to be the sound of someone breaking wind from a nearby bush.” One of the pursuing officers couldn’t resist cracking a joke at the suspect’s expense in a Facebook post: “I was almost out of wind running but luckily the suspect still had some.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: FAMILY SICK OF CARS CRASHING INTO THEIR HOME _ A family in China who saw 48 vehicles plow into their home over the past year is pleading with local lawmakers for a solution to make the crashes stop. The homeowners complain they’ve seen hundreds of vehicles of all kinds run into their fence, yard and house over the years. There’s even a giant sign in their yard that says “Slow!” but it’s not working.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MOM GLADLY WENT TO JAIL _ A mother of three in Germany decided to time in jail instead of paying a parking fine so she could get a rest from her ‘demanding’ children and ‘lazy’ husband. The mom said she was looking forward to food and a hot shower everyday without having to cook, wash and clean for everyone.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN GRABS A GARDEN GNOME _ When a woman in England heard a prowler outside her home late at night, she confronted him by grabbing a nearby garden gnome and throwing it at him. She hit him and then went back inside. There she grabbed another weapon — a rolling pin — which she preferred since she “didn’t want to break another gnome.” The prowler decided to leave instead.

WATER COOLER QUESTION

Question: The average woman in her life will swallow four pounds of what? (Lipstick)

Alright, let’s end the podcast and start your day with a DEEP THOUGHT: To escape criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

- A team of astronomers from the European Southern Observatory (ESO) has discovered a black hole lying just 1,000 light-years from Earth. The black hole is closer to our Solar System than any other found to date and forms part of a triple system that can be seen with the naked eye. They say this system could just be the tip of the iceberg, as many more similar black holes could be found in the future.

- Although dog owners believe a smiling dog is a happy one, researchers (Bristol University) say the idea is a myth. Researchers say while it is common for dogs to grin, when a dog grins it is more likely that it is a confused gesture because it is unsure what is expected of it.

- Many may already see France as a nation of grumblers, and a survey shows the French agree. The poll found that 93 percent of French people think their compatriots grumble often, although only 37 percent admit they tend to complain. Men were the grumpier of the two sexes, said 43 percent of respondents, with around one in five men saying they moaned to get what they wanted compared with 16 percent of women. One in four said carping was a way of relaxing.

-A South Carolina man had trouble convincing his wife that his $250,000 lottery win was legitimate. The man and his wife told South Carolina lottery officials they don’t normally play the lottery, but they won $10 on a ticket they received as a Christmas gift and used the money to buy another ticket, which was also a winner. The couple kept their winning streak going until the man stopped for take-out and bought a scratch-off that turned out to be a $250,000 winner. The man had a difficult time convincing his wife the win was real, and for good reason — he had previously pranked her with a fake winning ticket.

CAMPING TIPS

When the pandemic subsides, get out of the house and get back to nature. For maximum enjoyment and minimum mishaps, observe these camping tips:

• When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

• Unwrap and leave a few chocolate bars out in the hot sun. When the evening comes, you can have chocolate covered ants.

• Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

• Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

• Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. Wait until the bears are resting before applying the bells.

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER WANT IN YOUR HOME AFTER COVID-19?

The website BestLifeOnline.com says we’ll never want these things in our homes again after COVID-19. Do you agree?

USED TOYS – While you may have grabbed a used swing set from a friend or brought home a secondhand puzzle from a discount store, that’s unlikely to remain true going forward.

CASH – A recent study (published in The Lancet) found that coronavirus could be detected on banknotes for up to four days. And that’s not even accounting for other germs like MRSA bacteria and E.coli.

SECONDHAND CLOTHING – While shopping secondhand may save you money, your thrift store habit may be put on the back burner after the pandemic passes.

GIFT BASKETS – Getting a gift basket from a friend or family member may have once been a happy occasion, but after the pandemic subsides, you may be second-guessing those presents. Why? According to the website: “People will have to be especially careful with these as they could have been in multiple homes and areas, thus having more chance of holding virus particles on their surfaces and promoting further spread of infection.”

HOMEMADE MEALS – Restaurants are held to relatively high standards when it comes to their cleanliness. Your friend’s kitchen? Not so much — and that’s why accepting a homemade lasagna or batch of brownies from a pal may never be as appealing again.

THE THINGS WHICH MAKE A HOUSE A HOME

A study of 2,000 homeowners has revealed what transforms four walls into a homely space.

• Sleeping in your own bed
• Family photos
• Your own spot on the sofa
• The memories made in the home
• A fridge full of food
• A bookshelf filled with your books
• The smell of freshly cooked food
• Freshly washed bed sheets
• The location of the house
• Natural light
• Plants
• Your children in the house
• Fresh towels
• Flowers in vases
• Candles
• A fireplace
• Hosting dinners for friends and family
• Shoes by the front door
• Children’s toys in the house
• Newly painted walls
• A certain air freshener scent

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: POLICE CATCH DRUNK DRIVER GOING 192 MPH ON WAY TO BREAKFAST _ Police in Snohomish, Washington, arrested a drunk driver early Sunday morning after he was caught going 192 mph on a mostly two-lane highway where the maximum speed limit is 60. Police tweeted that the 31-year-old told the arresting officer that he was on his way to get breakfast. The man was behind the wheel of a 2008 Chevrolet Corvette and was charged with DUI and reckless driving.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ROAD IN BULGARIA HAS WOODEN POLE OBSTACLE _ Think that pothole on your street is dangerous? Drivers along a road in Bulgaria had to deal with a power pole in the middle of the road. Even worse: the pole had no reflectors or signs that made it stand out. The road was expanded, but since the pole was owned by the electric company the municipality didn’t have the right to remove it or move it. So they simply poured the road around it.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SCIENTISTS DISCOVERED ‘STRANGE SIGNALS’ _ Strange signals detected by a telescope in Australia were not signals from outer space. Instead, the signals were emissions escaping from a microwave in the telescope site’s kitchen.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GERMAN ZOMBIE HUNTERS STOPPED IN HUMMER FULL OF WEAPONS _ A German couple have been arrested after allegedly rolling up to the Swedish border in a Hummer belonging to a “Zombie Response Team.” Owning such a tricked-out Hummer isn’t illegal, but having it full of weapons is. Sweden’s customs agency released pictures of the seized vehicle, which was ominously emblazoned with biohazard signs and a warning that reads: “Infected people will be shot.” It is believed the pair may belong to a role-playing organization that acts out doomsday scenarios.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN ALTERS CHECK _ Police in Florida arrested a man on fraud and grand theft charges for allegedly trying to deposit a $10 check altered to show a much greater amount. Police say the man tried to deposit a check for almost $270,000.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SOME MEN NEED LADDER TRAINING _ A handyman at a hotel in the UK was asked to prune a tree. He put a ladder up against a branch, climbed up, and sawed it off. Yes, he sawed off the branch his ladder was leaning on. The injuries resulting from his 14-foot fall required a 10-day hospital stay and surgery. The man sued the hotel, saying management should have given him training on where to put the ladder.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TEEN CAUGHT WITH BUD LIGHT, MARIJUANA AFTER PLOWING DOWN MAILBOX _ Florida deputies (Charlotte County) said 19-year-old Ryan Johnson allegedly drove drunk right off the road, took out a mailbox and drove right through several palm trees. When deputies showed up Johnson told them, “I’m not going to lie I should’ve not been driving.” Deputies found a 20 pack of Bud Light beer in his car. Ten of the bottles were missing. Deputies also found marijuana on him.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: AIRPORT DIDN’T PAY ITS BILL _ An airport in Russia had to close for four hours because the local weather service stopped providing forecasts until the airport paid its overdue bill.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN ARRESTED AFTER FIGHT OUTSIDE BANK OVER LACK OF SOCIAL DISTANCING _ A fight outside a Boston-area bank that began over a lack of coronavirus social distancing led to weapons charges against one man. Police were called to the Citizens Bank Tuesday afternoon. They spoke to several people who said that while they were in line, an argument started with another customer who refused to adhere to social distancing policies. When the man was asked to move away, he allegedly flashed a gun and pointed it at others in line. The man and another woman drove off before police arrived. After receiving a description of the car, officers were able to find the driver and woman. Officers searched the vehicle and found a loaded gun.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COP DEMOTED FOR MORON TICKET _ A traffic cop in Romania was demoted after he gave a driver a ticket for “having a face like a moron.”

WATER COOLER QUESTION

Question: To paint this landmark requires 52,000 gallons of paint. (Golden Gate Bridge)

Alright, let’s end the podcast and start your day with a DEEP THOUGHT: The most reliable way to predict the future is to create it

On This Weeks Show:

- The maker of Durex condoms has said sales have fallen as the coronavirus lockdown is “having a toll on the number of intimate occasions” across the world. And once the lockdowns are east, there are concerns of a global condom shortage because strict lockdown rules in Malaysia, one of world’s top rubber producers and a major source of condoms, had made it difficult for condom factories to operate. Karex, the world’s largest condom producer which makes one in five of all condoms, has warned of a global condom shortage after closing three of its factories.

- A survey says men and women aren’t in sync in the bedroom when it comes to the optimum time. Men feel most frisky between 6AM and 9AM, while women are feeling the love way into the night — between 11PM and 2AM. And the percentages of those who enjoy getting it on during the other gender’s preferred window are similarly low, with just 16 percent of men wanting sex before falling asleep for the night, and a mere 11 percent of women wanting to take care of business as soon as the alarm goes off.

- Want to live to 100? Well a study suggests you get 10 hours of sleep a night. In the study, researchers found that people who reach 100 are three times more likely to spend at least 10 hours a night in bed. The study involved analysis of data from a 2005 Chinese survey.

- A study (Purdue University/University of Virginia) suggests that there may be a perfect salary for achieving personal fulfillment. The idea was to figure out at which salary range adults were best able to happily manage their work/life balance. Putting a number on that sort of thing is difficult, but the researchers managed the trick nonetheless. The study concluded that happiness will cost about $95,000 annually. Researchers were careful to note that this figure applies only to individuals and attempts to measure happiness over the course of a person’s entire life. Day-to-day happiness seems to cost less. Still, the findings are a bit concerning given that the average American household only takes in about $65,000 annually.

- Did you receive your stimulus check yet? A bunch of dead people did. The Treasury Department says it is working on a plan to “retrieve” $1,200 economic impact payments that were accidentally sent to dead people. Currently tens of millions of people who are very much alive are still waiting for their payments. There have been dozens if not hundreds of reports of people receiving money meant for their deceased relatives. One deceased woman in Connecticut’s check was even labeled “DECD” for deceased.

- The US marriage rate fell to its lowest level on record in 2018, federal stats released Wednesday show. New figures from the National Center for Health Statistics reveal the nationwide marriage rate fell 6 percent from 2017 to 2018. It’s the lowest rate since the US government started tracking such data in 1867. Researchers say there’s no clear reason for the decline and it’s expected the ongoing coronavirus pandemic to further drive down the number of Americans getting hitched.

THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YESTERDAY

• No word in the English language rhymes with “MONTH.”

• There are 1 million ants for every person in the world.

• More money is spent on gardening than on any other hobby.

• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

• The human brain is 80 percent water.

• Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

• Men get hiccups more often than women.

• There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

• The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.

• There are approximately fifty Bibles sold each minute across the world.

• A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds.

GO MOTHER’S DAY SHOPPING AT THE HARDWARE STORE

• Eighty-five percent of women surveyed have been or expect to be solely responsible for a home at some point in their lives.

• Fifty-three percent surveyed say they are responsible for basic household maintenance and repair either on their own or in conjunction with their spouse.

• Seventy-five percent of women say they do more home projects themselves than they did five years ago.

• Eighty percent say they are more confident in their home-improvement abilities than they were five years ago.

WHAT’S THE WORST THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN?

Reddit asked its readers that question. Here are A few of the responses:

• Fermented shark meat.

• I’m forced to eat smoked sheep heads every new years day. It’s the worst thing about being Icelandic.

• Silkworms. Canned or roasted, they’re a common food in Korea. They roast them as street food and it smells like gym socks soaked in dog vomit. The canned ones are like eating a zit.

• When chicken McNuggets have those stupid hard spots in them. Ruins the meal.

• I was eating Doritos one time and I got this one that looked like a piece of charcoal (tasted like it too). I wasn’t paying attention at the time so I ate it. Couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth for hours.

• I made macaroni and cheese once with expired mayo in place of the milk.

NEWS

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ANOTHER MYSTERY POOP JOGGER _ Every year or two we get mystery poop joggers. The most recent two were in the U.S. The latest is in Sydney, Australia. The latest poop jogger has come to light after a resident put up an angry note, accusing the mystery poo-er of leaving human feces on their property in front of their garage. A picture of the note was then posted to Reddit. • IMAGE WITH NOT-SAFE-TO-AIR TEXT

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN ACCUSED OF USING STOLEN UNDERWEAR TO SET FIRES _ A Wisconsin man has been charged (in Fond du Lac County) with arson. On March 19 a fire was reported at a vacant home. Several fires were set on March 20. Investigators were able to identify Michael L. Miller as a suspect. Police say Miller stated that he used underwear to light the fires and that the underwear was taken from laundromats. Ultimately, Miller admitted to setting 12 fires.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN TAKES 43 WET SPONGE HITS TO THE FACE FOR GUINNESS RECORD _ Apparently everything is a possible world record. Like being hit in the face with wet sponges. An Idaho man took 43 to the face to break a Guinness World Record. David Rush, who has broken more than 100 Guinness records to promote STEM education, went into the middle of his Boise street with Jonathan Hannon to attempt the unusual record. Hannon threw 54 wet sponges in the allotted 30-second time period, 43 of which successfully collided with Rush’s face. The 43 hits were enough to break the previous record of 36 in the category of most wet sponges thrown in 30 seconds (team of two).

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN IN GORILLA COSTUME CHARGED WITH BURGLARIZING HOME _ A Tennessee man was arrested after he reportedly entered the wrong home (in Mt. Juliet) wearing a gorilla costume and scared a six-year-old girl. A resident at the home confronted the man, who took off running. He was soon located by officers. The man in the gorilla costume told officers he thought he was at someone else’s home and was looking for another individual.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: INDIAN THIEF FED BANANAS TO EXPEL GOLD NECKLACE _ A thief in India swallowed a gold necklace valued at $995. Was fed bananas and special liquids to help it out of his body.

WATER COOLER QUESTION

Question: In a survey, 61 percent of women think men should do this about once a week. (Call their mom)

www.lowtreestudios.com

On This Weeks Show:

A New Report Says Gum And Mint Sales Are Down Around 40 Percent Since The Start Of The Pandemic.

- The Post-It Note Is Marking Its 35Th Anniversary This Month.

- More Than 50 Percent Of People In A Survey Have Said They Prefer A Kiss And Cuddle To Sex In A Relationship.

- Research Shows That If We Hold A Hug For At Least Six Seconds, We Optimize The Flow Of Mood-Boosting Chemicals.

Also

- What Do You Wish Your Spouse Would Get Rid Of?

- Top Board Games People Are Buying On Amazon

- Things You Didn’t Know About Swear Words

News

- Dog Drives Tractor Onto Road

- Turbans Used In Prison Escape

- Rowboat Getaway Fails

- Topless Woman Goes On Rampage At Denny’s

- Man Got In A Fight With The Terminator

Water Cooler Question

Question: This Happens 100,000 Each Day In The U.S.

What Is It?

Lowtree Studios

www.lowtreestudios.com