The Weighted Blanket

My husband said the kitchen was a mess. I went straight into fight mode — not irritated, properly braced, like something was incoming and I needed to get in first.

He hadn't said anything about me. I knew that even while it was happening. But the sensible part of me was nowhere near the steering wheel.

This episode is about rejection sensitive dysphoria — RSD — and what it's like to be someone who was called dramatic and emotional for about three decades before anyone offered a different word. It starts with a sentence somebody said to me when I was a child: "Oh dear, now let's all wait for the waterworks." I can still tell you the room.

I talk about the words that do it every time, why an explanation isn't the same as an excuse, what I'm trying with my own children, and the thing I got wrong for years — looking for the one big event that explained me, when it was never one thing. It's tens of thousands of small ones.

I haven't cracked it. I still can't stop it taking over. What's changed is what I do afterwards.

A note on RSD: it's a term that's grown up in the ADHD community and among some clinicians, and it describes something a lot of us recognise instantly — but it isn't a formal diagnosis and it isn't in the diagnostic manuals. It's a word that helps us understand ourselves. It isn't currently a word the system uses.

If you've got a sentence someone said to you that you can still hear, tell me in the comments. I read every one, and I suspect a lot of us are carrying one.

—

THE TWO-CIRCLE RESET
Five minutes to work out what's actually yours to carry right now and what isn't, for days when it's all a bit too much. Free.
https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset?src=yt

THE COMMUNITY
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
ADHD Chatter — Alex Partridge's podcast
Now It All Makes Sense https://amzn.to/4All8WM

Why Does Everybody Hate Me? https://amzn.to/3VBRgFE — both Alex Partridge. Genuinely relatable, especially in that first year after diagnosis.

IF YOU NEED SUPPORT
Your GP · ADHD UK — adhduk.co.uk · Mind — mind.org.uk

—

Everything else — podcast, community, links: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket
https://theweightedblanket.co.uk
[email protected]

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast about neurodivergence, late diagnosis and raising neurodivergent children. I'm Claire — late-diagnosed ADHD, mum of three, still working most of this out. New episodes every Tuesday at 6pm.

You're not alone. I'll see you in the next one.

#RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #ADHD #LateDiagnosis #ADHDinWomen #Neurodivergent #ActuallyADHD #ADHDatHome

Zoe Aspinall spent years in classrooms watching children get blamed for struggling. Then her own son was diagnosed as autistic and ADHD, she started questioning herself, and she realised her family was neurodivergent. So she went and did a neuroscience degree to find out what was actually going on. What she found became the Ecological Inclusion Framework — a way of measuring how much your environment is quietly draining you, across six domains. Her line is simple: we keep chipping away at the square peg when we should be changing the shape of the hole.

Before we recorded, I took her free home assessment. I scored 31%, with my Cognitive-Executive domain down at 11%. We go through what that actually means — and why a low score says nothing about you and everything about the room you're sitting in. This one is for anyone stuck on a waiting list with nothing to do but wait.

WE TALK ABOUT

- Why "turn it off if you're not using it" is the highest-impact change most families never make

- The six ecological domains, in plain English

- What a low Cognitive-Executive score looks like in a real home

- Why "if it's not in my calendar, it doesn't exist" changed how Zoe lives - Allostatic load, prediction error, and the Coke can model

- Why looking after yourself isn't indulgence — it's co-regulation

- What to ask yourself tonight, before you take any assessment

FIND ZOE

Website and free assessments: https://www.neuroinclusive.uk

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroinclusiveuk?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Email: [email protected] HER BOOK "Designing Homes for All Brains: The Ecological Inclusion Framework for Parents and Carers" Order direct: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=v1fHjocbcdNjDhvN2Z0ed9NmF2WlUBDBEhWWzjzQ5Ku 10% off - ends 11 October 2026. Also available on Amazon, though Zoe earns less that way.

TAKE THE ASSESSMENT YOURSELF

Parents: https://www.neuroinclusive.uk/assess/parent/

Adults: https://www.neuroinclusive.uk/assess/individual/

ABOUT THE SHOW The Weighted Blanket is a podcast about neurodivergence, late diagnosis and raising neurodivergent children. I'm Claire — late-diagnosed ADHD, mum of three, and still working most of this out. New episodes every Tuesday at 6pm. https://theweightedblanket.co.uk You don't have to go through this alone.

UPDATE: Ofcom have now confirmed 10,217 complaints about The Great ADHD Myth? — 9,656 in the first week, plus 561 since. ADHD UK's survey figures quoted in this episode (1,566 respondents) remain the published numbers.

Someone very close to me asked if I'd watched the Channel 4 documentary. I said no — I said it makes me too angry. And then I was told I should watch it with an open mind, and that she'd listened to my podcast with an open mind. And I said the true thing. Out loud, in front of people. And then I went quiet for the rest of the day. This episode isn't a review. I haven't watched the documentary and I'm not going to, and I explain why. It's about what happens in your body when someone who loves you asks you to be neutral about whether you're real — and about the argument that turned up two hours later, fully formed, in the car, to my husband, who already agreed with me. If you've had a version of this conversation with a parent, an in-law, a friend or someone at work — this one's for you. You're not the only one still explaining yourself to people who love you. I'm still doing it. — THE TWO-CIRCLE RESET A free five-minute reset for when you've said the thing and then gone quiet: https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset

A note: if this documentary has left you thinking about stopping ADHD medication, or taking your child off theirs, please speak to whoever prescribes it before you change anything. — Everything else — podcast, community, links: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults and parents of neurodivergent children. I'm not an expert. I'm someone working it out, out loud, and sharing what I find. New episodes every Tuesday. [email protected] #ADHD #LateDiagnosis #Neurodivergent #ActuallyADHD #ADHDinWomen

Nobody really talks about the days after.

There's plenty out there about starting therapy — finding the right person, whether it works, what happens in the room. There's almost nothing about the Wednesday. Or the Thursday. Or, on a bad one, the Friday as well.

I'm doing EMDR in the middle of ADHD burnout, which is not an order anyone would have recommended. In this episode I talk about what the days after a session actually look like when you're neurodivergent and already running on empty — the walk that takes ten minutes to start working, the exhaustion that feels like a marathon with no location, the executive function that was already the first thing to go, and the mask I put on in my own house on my worst days.

I don't tie it up. I'm still in it.

Free 5-minute Two-Circle Reset → https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset
Join the community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/
Everything else → https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

A note before you listen: this episode discusses therapy, trauma processing, panic attacks and burnout. Nothing in it is medical advice — I'm not a therapist or a doctor, just someone in the middle of it. EMDR isn't right for everyone and should only be done with a qualified, trained therapist. Having ADHD or being autistic doesn't mean you have trauma or need EMDR; these are separate things. If anything here brings something up for you, please speak to your GP.

Support:
Your GP · Mind — mind.org.uk · EMDR Association UK — emdrassociation.org.uk · BACP — bacp.co.uk

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults and parents of neurodivergent children. New episodes every Tuesday.

📧 [email protected]

When Kate's youngest was five years old, the school removed her fidget toy. She let herself back into the building, climbed on the teacher's desk, and took it back. And somehow — she was the problem.

That's where Kate Jennings' story begins. A SEN mum, a neurodivergent woman, and someone who spent years being told her children's needs weren't serious enough — until the day she sat on her sofa while her house fell apart around her and realised she had nothing left.

She pulled her children out of school, spent six months just reconnecting as a family, and then studied SEN Law so she could fight back. Now she helps other parents do the same — as the founder of SEND Defender.

In this episode Kate and I talk about what the SEND system actually does to families, why 97% of parents who reach tribunal win (and why that's the scandal, not the solution), what schools are legally required to provide but routinely don't, and the two things Kate wishes every parent knew from the start.

If you're in the middle of this right now — this one's for you. You don't have to figure it out alone.

Find Kate:
senddefender.co.uk
Free SEND guide — linked on her site
@send_defender on TikTok and Instagram

For The Weighted Blanket:

Free 5-minute Two-Circle Reset → https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset
Join the community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/
Everything else → https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

For most of her life, Hannah Wells believed the things she struggled with were caused by anxiety.

Then, while researching autistic children for her master’s degree, she began recognising her own experiences on every page.

In this episode, Hannah joins me to talk about receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult, the exhaustion of masking and the relief of finally understanding that she was never a failed version of a neurotypical person.

Hannah is a SEND practitioner who has spent years supporting neurodivergent children in mainstream education. Her master’s research explored whether the voices of autistic children are truly being heard in mainstream Reception classrooms. Her dissertation received the highest mark awarded on the course and is now used as a benchmark example for future students.

We discuss:

• Why the pandemic felt unexpectedly freeing
• Being diagnosed with anxiety before recognising autism
• Why phone calls can be so difficult for autistic people
• Masking at work and falling apart somewhere private
• What happened when Hannah disclosed her diagnosis at school
• The difference between challenging behaviour and dysregulation
• Why consistency and predictability matter in education
• Whether children are disabled by autism or by their environment
• Helping neurodivergent children develop their own voice
• Raising autistic children with greater self-understanding
• Letting go of the pressure to appear neurotypical

Hannah also shares how her own painful experiences at school now shape the way she supports children—and why something as simple as a quiet space, a weighted blanket or permission to step away can completely change a child’s experience.

You can find Hannah and her artwork here:

Website: linktr.ee/thepotterspalette

Patreon: http://patreon.com/thepotterspostclub

The Weighted Blanket is a space for honest conversations about neurodivergence, parenting, identity and everything we are still learning about ourselves.

Subscribe for a new episode each week.

Instagram: @theweightedblanketpodcast

I got called a drama queen for years, in a job I was genuinely good at. This week I tell the story of how I earned that reputation — the promotion that vanished, the Beyoncé strut, "you may never see me again" — and what a decade and a diagnosis taught me about what was actually going on.

I also dig into the new Neurodiversity in Business × Birkbeck (University of London) 2026 report: why 61% of neurodivergent people who leave corporate life say they'd never go back, why psychological safety hasn't improved since 2023, and the finding that made me laugh out loud — 66% of neurodivergent self-employed people say the hardest part is the social media.

This one's about work, masking, burnout, and what I'm building next — honestly, including the fear.

Research referenced: NiB × Birkbeck Research Report 2026 · BBC News, 25 Jul 2026 ("ADHD has rewired the workplace") · Lancet Regional Health Europe · King's College London

🧺 Free resource — the Two-Circle Reset (5 minutes to put something down): linktr.ee/theweightedblanket
👥 The Weighted Blanket Community: facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292
📩 Newsletter: the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d
📧 [email protected]

There are things we think we have filed away.

Old experiences. Old shame. Old fear. Old versions of ourselves we thought we had moved on from.

But sometimes, through therapy, diagnosis, or a moment of stillness, that drawer opens again — and we realise those things were not really gone. They were just waiting.

In this solo episode of The Weighted Blanket, I’m talking honestly about EMDR, ADHD and trauma from my own personal experience.

This is not medical advice and it is not a recommendation. It is simply one neurodivergent woman sharing what EMDR has been like for her, why I started exploring trauma therapy after my ADHD diagnosis, and how old experiences can still shape the way we live, parent, work and respond to the world.

I talk about:

• What EMDR is in plain English
• Why I moved from CBT into trauma-focused work
• ADHD, RSD and emotional sensitivity
• The body’s response to old memories
• Why therapy can feel raw after a session
• Perfectionism, overworking and childhood beliefs
• Why trauma and ADHD can feel tangled together
• How EMDR is helping me understand what is me and what was masking
• Why therapy should always be done with a qualified professional
• What I want my children to grow up knowing about support, emotions and self-worth

This episode includes discussion of trauma and therapy, so please look after yourself while listening. If this feels too tender today, it is completely okay to skip it and come back when you feel ready.

If anything in this episode resonates with you, please speak to a qualified professional such as your GP, therapist or trauma specialist. Do not try to open difficult memories alone.

You are not broken. You are not too much. And you are not alone.

MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT

If this episode brings anything up for you, please reach out for support.

Mind:
https://www.mind.org.uk/

Samaritans:
Call 116 123 free, any time, day or night.
https://www.samaritans.org/

Shout:
Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential text support in the UK.
https://giveusashout.org/

If you feel at immediate risk or unsafe, call 999 or go to A&E.

EMDR INFORMATION

EMDR Association UK:
https://emdrassociation.org.uk/

Find an EMDR therapist:
https://map.emdrassociation.org.uk/

NICE PTSD guidance:
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng116

JOIN THE WEIGHTED BLANKET COMMUNITY

Facebook Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

Newsletter:
https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d

All Links:
https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

QUESTION FOR YOU

What do you wish someone had told you before you had to figure it out the hard way?

Come and tell me in The Weighted Blanket Community.

Geoff spent 34 years not knowing why his brain worked the way it did.

He was not the stereotypical hyperactive child. He was inattentive, masking, trying to fit in, and quietly carrying the emotional weight of undiagnosed ADHD.

In this episode of The Weighted Blanket, I speak to Geoff — a lorry driver, dad of two, and late-diagnosed ADHD adult — about what it felt like to finally understand his brain after decades of impulsivity, RSD, burnout, dopamine chasing and self-blame.

Geoff shares what led him to seek an ADHD assessment, why he chose to go private after being told the NHS wait could be four to five years, and what changed when he started Elvanse.

We talk about:

• Being diagnosed with ADHD at 34
• Inattentive ADHD and why it can be missed
• Masking through childhood and school
• RSD, jealousy, shame and emotional loops
• Dopamine chasing, impulsivity and burnout
• The grief that can follow a late ADHD diagnosis
• ADHD medication and the moment his brain went quiet
• ADHD coaching and practical strategies
• Hiking, nature and mental wellbeing
• Why sharing lived experience matters

This conversation is for anyone who has ever been told they are “too much,” “too sensitive,” “silly,” “lazy,” or “just a bit chaotic.”

It is also for anyone wondering whether ADHD might explain parts of their life they have never been able to make sense of.

Geoff’s story is honest, raw and hopeful — not because everything is fixed, but because understanding his brain has finally given him a way forward.

GUEST:

Geoff
Lorry driver, dad of two, late-diagnosed ADHD adult

Geoff’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@92grh?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

JOIN THE WEIGHTED BLANKET COMMUNITY:

Facebook Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

Newsletter:
https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d

All Links:
https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/033hbR3h5qo6TD3WxWF8FL

Listen on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weighted-blanket

Many neurodivergent adults struggle to find words for big, complex feelings. For some of us, questions like “How do you feel?” can feel impossible to answer — not because we do not feel deeply, but because the words are not always there.

In this episode of The Weighted Blanket, I’m joined by Claire Palmer, a creative counsellor based in Norwich who specialises in working with neurodivergent adults.

We talk about why traditional talking therapy does not always work for ADHD, autistic and AuDHD adults — and how creativity, imagination and play can help people access emotions that words cannot reach.

We also explore alexithymia, intergenerational trauma, epigenetics, inner child work, neurodivergent shame, emotional language, masking, and why therapy needs to respect each person’s pace, nervous system and communication style.

This conversation is for neurodivergent adults, parents, therapists, counsellors, educators and anyone who has ever felt misunderstood because they could not explain what was happening inside.

If you have ever felt like words were not enough, this episode is for you.

Guest:
Claire Palmer — Creative Counsellor, Norwich

Claire’s links:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@norwichcreativetherapy
Website: https://www.clairepalmercounselling.com
Email: [email protected]

Join The Weighted Blanket Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

All links:
https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

Mental health support:

Mind:
https://www.mind.org.uk/

Samaritans:
Call 116 123 free, any time, day or night.
https://www.samaritans.org/

Shout:
Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential text support in the UK.
https://giveusashout.org/

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Integrative Therapy

03:04 The Role of Creativity in Therapy

05:48 Understanding Neurodivergence through Film

09:06 Navigating Therapy for Neurodivergent Clients

12:05 The Importance of Sensory Accommodations

14:59 Exploring Emotions through Sand Tray Therapy

18:06 The Challenge of Expressing Emotions

21:00 Cultural Norms and Emotional Expression

24:06 Communication and Relationships in Therapy

26:57 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Behavior

37:00 Exploring Neurodivergence and Family Dynamics

39:54 The Evolution of Neurodivergence

46:50 Impact of the Pandemic on Neurodivergent Individuals

51:09 Transitioning from Care to Counseling

55:01 The Importance of Therapy

01:01:27 Accessing Therapy: Challenges and Solutions

01:04:55 The Relationship Between Trauma and Neurodivergence

01:11:54 Embracing Quirks and Hyperfixations

01:18:00 Parenting and Nurturing the Inner Child

01:22:06 Introduction and Connection

01:23:05 Closing Thoughts and Show Notes

01:23:19 Introduction to Claire Palmer and Her Work

01:24:34 The Power of Creative Counseling