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If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Maybe if I just do everything right, I’ll finally get pregnant”… this one’s for you.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into one of the most common but rarely named patterns in the fertility world:

 👉 Treating conception like a cosmic performance review.

Whether it's cutting out dairy, forcing yourself to meditate, tracking every bowel movement, or beating yourself up over that third cup of tea, we start to believe that if we sacrifice enough, restrict enough, and do this “perfectly”… then we’ll finally deserve our baby.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t have to earn your baby.

And trying to do so is exhausting, demoralising, and completely counterproductive to both your mental health and your fertility.

In this episode, I breaks down:

• Why so many women fall into the “if I’m good enough, I’ll get pregnant” mindset
• How spiritual and self-help culture can subtly shame women in this space
• Why this pattern is more about fear and trauma than discipline
• The difference between doing your best and punishing yourself
• 3 powerful mindset shifts that help you feel safe, grounded, and real again

You’ll also hear personal stories from my own fertility journey (including “the no friends diet” and secret negotiations with the universe), plus what it actually means to support your nervous system when you’re no longer willing to live like a monk on a mountaintop.

💬 Mic-drop reminder:
You are not a project.
You are not being tested.
And your baby isn’t waiting for you to get it perfect, they’re waiting for you to come home to yourself.

PS. Interested In Learning More?
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Free Resources:

Download my free mini-guide:
How to Let Go of Control (Without Giving Up Hope)
Gentle mindset shifts and nervous system tools that actually help you feel better today.

👉 studiofertility.com/letgo

Connect with Bella:

• Instagram: @studiofertility
• Youtube: @studiofertility
• Website: studiofertility.com

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