I am now sitting in the very seat that crushed my spirit two years prior. Leather, black and modern. The vast boardroom table, overkill for our small meeting, with two hired investigators in 2023. Today, as I approached my new therapist's office, a familiar unease crept over me. It was the very building where a couple of years ago we faced two men from interstate seeking to unravel our stories of abuse.
Back then, hope was high. We thought someone would finally listen. But it was HIM, the MASTER, that initiated their involvement. As soon as we met them in the foyer, hope started to crack. Our access card didn't work and we were stranded, waiting for our friend Justin to bail us out. In that time, small talk filled the void where our true story should have been heard.
Justin eventually secured our entry. Leading us to this boardroom, the very place I find myself now. I had no idea when I made the therapy appointment that this was where today's appointment would take me. A fellow survivor had recommended me to this local psychologist, and I was here to seek help for my ongoing trauma that had lifted its ugly head over the past week.
But in this space, the memories flooded back. The feeling of being professionally attacked, not heard. We thought we were there to speak of the abuse and abuser, but the focus was shifted as soon as they began recording our recount. We were not allowed to keep our own recording, and we trusted them to provide theirs as promised.
That trust was misplaced. Their questions pierced us, seeming to attack rather than understand. They painted us as instigators, while ignoring the victim's stories. Even as we sat with the painful responsibility of sharing them.
The investigators demanded we remain silent, even with friends, our sole support network in our cult like environment.
The absurdity peaked when they attempted to separate victims like The Naked Armor Bearer and his wife, jemama, from sharing their pain with each other. Their obsession with natural justice seemed only to shield the perpetrator. Our stories and pain discarded along their scripted path. Amidst my husband's heartbreaking sobs after an investigator's hollow empathy display, we realised how isolated we felt.
The true ally was Justin, waiting outside, not invited to support us during our lowest point. Cornered until we appeared safe to go home, the investigators finally left us with Justin, our strength and solace. I remembered sitting in this very boardroom, overwhelmed by helplessness and injustice.
Feeling the weight of years of fighting battles where we were branded antagonists.
But I also remember the validation months later. The day, the interim elders recognized the master as deficient, guilty and disqualified. Facing 60 victims in the room and more online, the truths we had carried were finally declared. Today I leave this boardroom with a surer heart. We were silenced and crushed.
Yet our fight led to the truth. We were not just voices lost in the MASTER's thunderous declarations. We regained our voices. We were right to persist, to cry out when the world refused to listen. Our story did not end here. Our cries were not in vain. Validation and justice came because we dared to speak.
We did the right thing, and though it cost us dearly, we pray it may help others like us to find their voices, too.
Following that fateful meeting, we tried our best to seek clarity on the process of these investigators… Following is our email to them dated July 30th, 2023
Dear Investigators,
Thank you for the time you dedicated yesterday, and for graciously extending the meeting. We are grateful for your understanding of our perspective and for showing genuine concern.
As agreed, we appreciate you sending us access to the recording from our time with you yesterday. You can email access via Otter if that is preferred.
After the meeting, there are certain points we'd like to address for further clarification. During our discussion, you mentioned the protocol and involvement of the ombudsman in regard to the MASTER’s continued position of authority amidst the ongoing investigation. As we have sought professional advice on this matter, it has been consistently recommended that he should have been temporarily removed from his position based on the allegations presented while the investigation is underway (in accordance with our governing policies and government policies).
Could you kindly share documentation or direct me to the appropriate section on your website that outlines the legal process you are obliged to follow? I've attempted to navigate your website in search of information about your investigative procedures, but regrettably, I haven't been successful in finding any details about this.
GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment), handles investigations related to Spiritual Abuse, and they have a well-defined process clearly stated on their website. They also share insights about the process through articles and podcasts, which you can find at: https://www.netgrace.org/independent-investigations
There is a video about their process here:
Yesterday, we didn't have the opportunity to delve deeply into the matters concerning the other businesses. We are eager to clarify whether you are investigating in accordance with the appropriate guidelines that govern them.
During our conversation, we emphasised the paramount importance of addressing the trauma experienced by the victims and their overall well-being, and we earnestly hope for urgent action in this regard.
We also discussed a significant issue concerning the lack of communication throughout the investigation process. To date, none of the involved parties have received any official documentation pertaining to the investigation or its procedures. This absence of formal communication is particularly concerning, given the gravity of the situation at hand.
As we move forward, it would be immensely beneficial if you could provide more comprehensive information to victims, staff and the church. This approach would alleviate concerns and also serve to establish a clearer framework of what is expected from all parties involved in the process. Proper and timely communication will be essential to ensure a fair and transparent investigation.
We expressed our apprehensions regarding the Interim Elders and their potential conflict of interest. I must admit that we now have additional concerns, having learned you have personal friendships with several of these Interim Elders. The MASTER was the one that initiated the Interim Eldership, the whole setup was under HIS direction. While we want to believe that everyone involved will act without bias, our 18-year experience working with the MASTER has taught us that manipulation can occur without one's awareness.
I hope you can understand that our apprehension about the process is not a personal attack against anyone undertaking a role in this matter. Instead, it stems from our own acknowledgment of the risks involved, based on past experiences. We want to ensure a fair and objective investigation that is not influenced by personal relationships or biases, as this is crucial for attaining a just resolution.
Thank you for addressing these concerns and for sending through documentation to help us in understanding your official process in this investigation.
Thank you,
From The Willow Tree and Compound Fracture
We eventually received a delayed reply from the investigators after further follow-up.
Subject: Follow-Up on Your Concerns
Dear The Willow Tree
I hope you and Compound Fracture are doing OK as you move through another week.
We met today to review your emails and ensure we could provide you with a response.
Our current priority is obtaining agreement from the interim elders on the process for following up on the documentation that has been collected and forwarded to us. We have provided a verbal report and are in the process of compiling a written report with recommendations for the interim elders. If approved, this will guide the pathway forward.
Regarding your request for the recording, we recall giving you permission to record our interview with you. While we also made our own recording with your permission, it is not our policy to make those recordings available to anyone other than ourselves, as we previously indicated. This policy is in place to maintain strict confidentiality.
Concerning the legal framework under which we operate, we are committed to upholding the principles of natural justice and take general guidance from the processes outlined by both the Victorian Ombudsman and the Commonwealth Ombudsman. These principles will inform the complaints process that we hope will be approved to address the current situation.
We appreciate you raising your concern regarding potential conflicts of interest.
I hope these responses are helpful to you and Compound Fracture.
Best regards,
The Investigators
It was always a lost cause. They were his hires.
They instructed us not to record. Then, they assured us they would provide the recording. We know—without a shadow of a doubt—what was promised.
Lesson learned.
Record. No matter what.
The interim elders sidelined the investigation team, but the MASTER still clung to their illegitimate findings. I doubt they’d want any real scrutiny of their process—especially not an official investigation. They were anything but trauma-informed. Their final report bent entirely in his favour, ignoring facts, dismissing proof, and refusing to ask the questions that would have dismantled their conclusions.
And yet, the MASTER grips that report like it’s his golden ticket to freedom.
I doubt any of them would welcome an investigation into their methods.
We told the truth.
We bared our souls.
And they branded us instigators.
They attacked while we were down.
But we will rise.
Next time I walk into that therapy session, past that fateful boardroom, I will stand tall.
We did the right thing.
It hurt. It broke us.
But we are still here.
And we will be ok.
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