Pat Williams, senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares personal stories from his time as a parent with youth sports as well as what he teaches regarding developing leaders through sports.

Pat's new book, CHARACTER CARVED IN STONE is about his discovery of the leadership virtues taught at the United States Military Academy at West Point. Duke University’s Coach K (a West Point grad) wrote the foreword.

Book: Character Carved in Stone

 

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Dr. Jay Martin is the Ohio Wesleyan University Soccer coach and one of the nation’s winningest soccer coaches ever. He has written one of the books in the series for United Soccer Coaches titled, The Best of Soccer Journal: The Art of Coaching. It is seen as one of the best soccer books in their book store. Jay is an author of several books approved by the United Soccer Coaches national office and advises them on their Coaches education curriculum.

Book: The Art of Coaching

 

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Chris Mance is a family coach who helps sports families pursue difficult goals while maximizing their happiness on their journey. Chris has a unique story from playing at football at West Point to becoming an entrepreneur, husband, and eventually a father of two young wrestlers. Through his experiences in leadership, Chris has been able to work with families to plan and execute their strategic plans.

Chris’s Website: chrismance.com

Chris' Twitter: @chrismance

Chris’s Instagram: @chairmance2

 

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Coaching Your Own Kids

Chris was really hard on his first son from an early age. He has gone 180, with him now and with his younger son, he stays focused on being proud of them and just giving them a hug afterwards and de-emphasizing the winning/losing.

Cringe moment

At youth dual meets, early on in Chris' coaching, he was too focused on the scoreboard with the newer athletes instead of just working on technique and focusing on improvement.

Teaching skills & Keeping it fun

Reward kids for working hard with a fun game - sumo wrestling is fun.

King of the hill - start with smallest kid, whoever takes down other wins, and keep going working way up

Culture

Parents are a big part of it - keep them tied in and on board

Doing something like fantasy sports with the kids is a really fun way to build some comraderie within the players of the team

Travel sports

The biggest problem is the season never ends. In a perfect world, kids would only play a sport during its primary season, and then be able to enjoy other sports in the offseasons.

The one that got away

Chris' final wrestling match - he got beat someone who probably wasn't as good as him - but he had taken it for granted and not trained well that week.

Best stolen idea

Sports is a chess match. You always need to be 2 steps ahead, especially mentally.

Favorite books/quote:

Quote: 'Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard'

Book: Wooden (by John Wooden)

Parting Advice

Have a system, plan and prepare

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Gad Espinosa is a Certified High-Performance Mental Game Coach, and speaker who has been interviewed in numerous newspapers and radio shows.

He has been privileged to train and mentor athletes at all levels, from those just starting their athletic careers to others who have gone on to represent their country and succeed at World Championships and Olympic games.

As a former professional athlete, who has represented his country internationally, he knows first hand the psychological and emotional challenges a young athlete faces.

As a parent of two former competitive athletes he knows the difficulty of raising athletes and as a varsity head coach, he sympathizes with coaches and their responsibilities.

Gad is passionate about helping young athletes discover mental strength breakthroughs that allow them to maximize their development so they can take their game to another level and fulfill their athletic potential.

Website: coachgad.com

Instagram: @coach_gad

Twitter: @coachgad

Facebook: /Coach-Gad

 

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Coaching Your Own Kids

It's a balance between smothering them and still coaching them and enjoying being a parent with them

Coaching a sport you didn't play

2 requirements: Enthusiasm and a passion to learn more

A-ha moment

Gad, as a player, rarely had coaches discuss the mental side of the game - so he has emphasized this as a coach

Concussion recovery

Time is the biggest key. Take the time to let your mind recover and don't rush it.

Mental toughness

It starts with letting your athletes know it's ok to fail. It's a very important part of the learning process.

Having a clear goal in mind helps build grit to keep working even if things don't do the way you want.

Teaching skills

Tag - they put a pinnie on each hip, and they run around and try to grab as many pinnies as possible from their teammates

Keep away - in a circle, 2 kids in the middle, try to keep ball away from the kids in the middle

Culture and captains

Leaders emerge amongst teams

'How do I Improve my Kid's Athletic Potential?'

Book on website: coachgad.com

WYC guest enter promo code 'WYC' and get 50% off book!

A mental program for coaches and athletes

The one that got away

Gad had specifically reminded the team about a specific thing to look for in the game, and 1 minute into the game this situation happened, and a player didn't do what they just had talked about. Gad regrets that he immediately took the player out of the game and didn't play him much more that game.

Best stolen idea

Preparedness

Favorite books/quote:

Quote: 'If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.' - John Wooden

Parting Advice

Take a step back and remember how you wish you were coached when you were younger

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Susan Stout educates coaches specifically about working with kids who have ADHD, learning differences and/or anxiety.

As a former swim coach and now a mom to an avid young athlete with ADHD and dyslexia, Susan wishes she had known when she was coaching what she knows now about how to recognize the differently wired kids, manage the challenges and bring out the best in these athletes.

Website: ownbeatathlete.com

Twitter: @SusanStoutOBA

 

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Finding invisible differences

It all starts with just getting to know each kid

Some symptoms to look for:

Can't sit still

Talk back

Interrupt

Can't remember what you just said, especially with multi-step directions

Inconsistent in their performance

Poor sense of time (can be late)

Poor emotional control

Practical tips to coach kids with invisible differences

Don't talk for long periods of time(no diatribes!)

Routines help

Give them a responsibility to keep them engaged

Let them fidget and move

Try to be patient - give them a minute to cool off

Own Beat Athlete

Website: ownbeatathlete.com

Blogs, profiles of successful players and coaches with ADHD, letters from players

Tools for coaches and facts to know about kids with invisible differences

Cringe moment

When Susan was first coaching, they lost a meet because the backstroke flags were the wrong distance. Susan was worried about over-coaching girls who had previously been her teammates. She learned she needed to be the coach first and not worry about trying to impress them or be their buddy.

Keeping training fun

Relay races are always a great way to compete and have fun while conditioning

Achieving peak performance under pressure

They start meets with cheering and getting energy up. Then she would have the athletes come and check in with her before their events to chat one-on-one. The coaching is finished at this point - instead reinforce them and tell them - 'you've done it, the work is done, now go have fun and show what you can do'

The one that got away

As a swimmer, for 3 years Susan was trying to break 36 seconds. 3 times she got 36.00. She still had a great time, just wishes she could have got a 35.99. :)

Best stolen idea

Building a culture of being a family.

Favorite books/quote:

Quote: 'A common mistake amongst those working in sports is to spend a disproportionate amount of time on X's and O's as compared to time spent learning about people.' - Coach K

Quote: 'When I was a young coach, I used to say treat everybody alike. Instead- treat everybody fairly.' - Bear Bryant

Book: Getting to Us by Seth Davis

Parting Advice

Build relationships. Get to know the kids, what do they dream about, what excites them, what do they like doing outside of sports.

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Sean Conlon is the founder of We Make Footballers, a football(soccer in the U.S.) prep school to prepare athletes for playing at academies. With a background with the Chelsea club, Sean has the passion and vision to help young athletes improve their game on and off the field to reach their dreams.

Website: wemakefootballers.com

Twitter: @wmfootballers

Instagram: @wemakefootballers

 

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Learning on the playground

Sean didn't play for a formal team until he was 13 years old. This has pros and cons - a lot of creativity can be developed, but mixing in a bit of coaching can help the guided discovery process.

Emphasizing fun at young ages and training parents to recognize development vs. just wins and losses is key.

We Make Footballers

14 franchises across England, have prepared 170+ players who have gone on to join academy teams

Focus is preparing players for academies

Website: wemakefootballers.com

Great fun skill building games

Stuck in the mud - Get in a square, everyone has their own ball, dribbling. Make one player the sticker - he runs and tries to tag the other players. When tagged, they hold their ball over their head, and if other players kick their own ball between a frozen players' head, that player is freed.

Snake - In a square. 2 players have to hold hands, they are the snakes. The rest are the mice. Players don't have a ball, they just run around. As players are caught, they join the snake.

The one that got away

In the cup final, Sean looks back on a couple of changes he could have made earlier. Thinking clearly in high energy moments is critical. Be decisive and take action.

Best stolen idea

Make every practice fun, regardless of the age group.

Favorite books/quote:

Book: Alex Ferguson's Leading

Quote: 'In football, the worst things are excuses, excuses mean you cannot grow or move forward.' - Pep Guardiola

Parting Advice

Utilize the internet and forums to continuously learn

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Freddy Hilliard is the head coach at Malvern Prep in Pennsylvania. In 8 seasons as coach, he has surpassed the 260 win mark, collected 5 PA state titles as well as 5 national top 25 rankings and has sent 75 players on to play college ball. His former players view him as a coach, mentor, teacher and role model. Although he develops baseball skills, he is even more talented in developing better people first and foremost. Baseball as we know is a small part of life, how we conduct ourselves as humans, as husbands, as brothers, as fathers…that is what is important in life and that is how we will be remembered.

Twitter: @coachhilliard16

 

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Cringe Moment

After a loss, on the bus ride on the way home, the kids were laughing and having a good time. Freddy couldn't understand why they were having fun and weren't mad. It was a good eye-opener, that most of these kids enjoy being on the team, but they have a lot going on beyond this team. The biggest lesson he learned was investing more in them as people and getting to know what makes them tick.

Choosing to be excellent at everything means work, but don't be satisfied with being OK or mediocre.

Teaching skills

It all starts with the why. Teaching is much more effective if they understand what they are trying to accomplish and why it's important.

Players should be free to ask questions and suggest improvements

Competing is key to getting kids to focus and give their all. They have 4 yellow jerseys - they give them to the best 4 defensive players at their 4 stations. They also have a batting championship belt they award (similar to a WWE or boxing belt) each practice.

Achieving Peak Performance

Work with your team on breathing to calm their heart rate down

Visualize success. Think about success and don't be afraid to fail.

Core Values

They have 3 of them: Selflessness, Excellence, Energy

Connecting with and impacting kids

Freddy had a player who didn't get much playing time, but had a great attitude, and stayed in touch for years to come. This speaks to Freddy and his staff valuing him as a person, not based on his talent level.

The one that haunts me

Freddy's team was in the state championship game, they had beaten the other team twice that season rather easily. They lost in extra innings. Freddy thinks he could have done a better job getting his team focused and not being complacent.

Favorite books/quote:

Quote: 'Discipline yourself and others won't have to' - John Wooden

Book: John Wooden's Pyramid of Success

Book: Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World by Admiral William McRaven

Book: The Captain Class: The Hidden Force That Creates the World's Greatest Teams by Sam Walker

Book: Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek

Parting Advice

Don't overthink or over-coach. Let the kids figure it out.

Make it fun, you want the kids to love the game.

Be authentic.

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Dr. Rob Bell is a mental toughness coach. He is a husband and father of two wonderful kids. An Ironman and endurance athlete, and loves to PLAY: golf, swimming, skiing, running, ping-pong and chess. He speaks & trains with teams, organizations, and coaches on mental toughness.

Website: drrobbell.com

Twitter: @drrobbell

Facebook: /TheImportanceofmentaltoughness

Instagram: /drrobbell

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Hinge moments

A person, a decision, or a moment that changes the direction of your life

1 of Dr. Bell's hinge moments was when he was in college and living a party life- he walked off an 80 foot cliff. But it woke him up and changed him: "Our worst moments in life often end up becoming our best moments"

Mental toughness training

Mental toughness - 'It's caught more than it's taught'

The most important time is when adversity hits - How, as coaches, do we respond? When they fail - teach them that 'this is an event, not a person.' "It's a bruise not a tattoo."

Visualization

'To visualize success you have to have had success' - So you have to lots of competitions - then the debrief is key: What were you thinking about when taking that key shot? Were you thinking about letting down the team, or what was going through your mind?

And don't just compete physically - they can compete on who gives the most high-fives or something mentally so different kids win and lose

Making the kids hungry

How can I find the motivations for everybody? Motivating is the hardest mental skill. It's hard. You have to train your coaches and captains to help. Then it's a unified effort to pick everyone up and keep them on board.

Timing for feedback

Parents - during the game is not the time to give feedback. You want them listening to the coach. The 2nd worst time to talk to your kids is on the car ride home. The best time is in non-pressure environments.

Best borrowed/stolen idea

Jack Nicklaus: 'People don't understand how many times you have to finish 2nd before you finish 1st'

Favorite books/quote:

Quote: 'Some battles aren't worth fighting even if you win. Some battles are worth fighting even if you lose.' - Gil Reyes, Andre Aggassi's coach

Books by coaches who have won and lost - Dean Smith, Pat Summit, Bear Bryant, Bill Walsh

Parting Advice

Better people make better athletes. Focus on developing the person.

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With over 30 years of experience as an educator, coach and administrator, Greg Winkler is currently in his first year as head coach of the boys soccer team at Ida Baker High School in Cape Coral, Fla., and physical education teacher at the Charlotte Campus of Florida SouthWestern State College in Punta Gorda, Fla.

A decorated soccer coach in the state of Wisconsin, Winkler was named to the Wisconsin Soccer Association Hall of Fame’s Class of 2015, recognizing a coaching career that saw him amass over 400 wins at both the youth and high school levels and earn State Youth Coach of the Year honors in 2006 and Wisconsin Large School Coach of the Year in 2004.

In 2009, Winkler published “Coaching a Season of Significance,” a coaching resource that draws upon his vast experiences to map out a plan for fellow coaches to find success and overcome obstacles at every step along the way to a significant season. He has presented at coaching and athletic director conferences on topics ranging from building relationships through athletics to engaging in effective communication with parents and administrators.

Website: gregwinkler.net

Twitter: @gregwinkler10

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Coaching your own kids

Focus on treating every kid like they are your own kid

Unless the kid brings it up, don't talk very much sports at home

My Cringe moment from early coaching years

Calling out a specific kid at halftime in front of the team

Teaching skills while keeping it fun

Sharks and minnows with a soccer ball or any tag/relay race game with a ball

Losers of games do something embarassing - Ima Stars or donkey kicks

Competition in practice is key

Practicing pressure situations

Knockout games are great

Mistake recovery

Work with players who beat themselves up, have conversations with them, guide them on how to deal with how to react to mistakes

Having a value-based program

They have 5 core values, they discuss 1 per week to start season, then they discuss other important topics in subsequent weeks

Parents

They are a huge resource! Be proactive to involve them so they are helping instead of complaining.

Dealing with crazy coaches

It's hard to deal with other crazy coaches, it's important to not let them get under your skin because your team can sense it.

Favorite books/quote:

Inside out Coaching by Joe Ehrmann

Catch them being Good by Tony Dicicco

Parting Advice

Focus on relationships and individuals vs. wins and losses

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Travis Daugherty has been a coach for over 20 years and worked with thousands of athletes of all backgrounds, ages, and ability levels - plus the parents that came with them. Throughout that time, he also served as a speaker and development leader for Higher Level Sports, a father-son basketball camp my dad founded and directed throughout the Midwest.

He recently authored a book- The LENS. Travis' explanation of the book:

"Studying, writing, and developing this game plan have given me a chance to clarify for myself the sports parent I want to be. I hope it will help you clarify who you want to be, too. And even though nobody's perfect in this area, I do hope each of us can see clearly that there’s no greater opportunity to prepare our kids for success than the one we have through sports. I want each of us to recognize that opportunity, and use it to build strong, committed, confident leaders in this world."

Website: thelensbook.com

Twitter: @The_LENS_Book

Instagram: /the_lens_book

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New Sponsor!

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Show Notes - WYC 161 – Travis Daugherty

Coaching your own kids

The positive desire to see your own kids succeed can lead to negative reactions

Myopic - being short-sighted. The key is to focus on the big picture and not short-term wins

Developing a plan and clarifying your priorities to the kids and parents is a critical first step

Remember that challenge and adversity is a key component of a child's development, learning to overcome those challenges is critical to healthy development

Constantly sharing your coaching purpose statement build accountability into your coaching.

Value the pursuit of excellence vs. the pursuit of success. Quit comparing yourself to others and rather spend time pursuing being the best you possibly can be.

Hidden Talents

Loving the game

Giving your best

Overcoming adversity

Seeking improvement

Getting coached

Being a teammate

Taking risks

Having a positive attitude

Best Stolen idea

James Clear - Automic Habits - Resetting the Room - Whenever you leave a room, take 2 minutes to put things back in order.

Favorite books/quote:

Inside out Coaching by Joe Ehrmann

Lead for God's Sake by Todd Gongwer

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Anything by Jon Gordon

Ego is the Enemy and The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday

Parting Advice

See the big picture. Focus on the process of development and the pursuit of excellence.

Trust the process. Building skills takes time. Stop comparing. Focus on development.

Enjoy the journey.

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