The Wise Mind Happy Hour

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Welcome to Part 2 of our DBT "interpersonal effectiveness" series." Today we focus on the GIVE skill for healthier communication and relationship repair: be Gentle, act Interested, Validate, and use an Easy Manner. (And "watch that 'tude.") 😉 We break down what each part looks like in practice, how to stay in a hard conversation without escalating, and why validation is not the same thing as agreement.

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WHAT IS EMDR? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. But...WHAT??? Don't worry, it'll all make more sense soon. EMDR-trained clinician Kelly Kilgallon, LCSW (and her NON-THERAPIST husband Josh Bayer) delve into the mysterious waters of EMDR therapy and how it helps “unstick” traumatic memories that still carry emotional charge in the present. If you’re curious about EMDR, want a clearer picture of what it feels like, or you’re wondering whether your experience “counts,” just hit play.

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No, DEAR MAN is not a feminist manifesto. It's a DBT tour de force. Designed for interpersonal effectiveness and developed by psychologist Marsha M. Linehan, its primary goal is "objective effectiveness"—helping you ask for what you need, say "no" to unwanted requests, and navigate conflict while keeping people on your side. Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce (DEAR) all while being Mindful, Appearing Confident, and remaining open to Negotiating (MAN.)

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A tenured professor, an open marriage with rules that suddenly don’t work, and a campus Title IX scandal that makes everyone pick a side. We just watched Netflix’s Vladimir (starring Rachel Weisz, Leo Woodall and John Slattery) and we couldn’t stop talking about it. Beneath the darkly playful humor is a surprisingly sharp look at what desire does to your mind, your body, and your sense of self.

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Your mind can be brilliant and still be wrong, especially when you’re hungry, tired, anxious, or feeling rejected. Let's "get serious" about the thought patterns that quietly run so many of our worst days: magnification and minimization, catastrophizing, overgeneralization, magical thinking, personalization, mind reading, fortune telling, emotional reasoning, disqualifying the positive, should statements, and all-or-nothing thinking. These thoughts can feel so convincing but can be protective, and a trauma-informed perspective can explain where they came from without letting them drive the car forever. 

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Love doesn’t fail loudly most of the time. It fails quietly, in the space between what we meant and what our partner actually felt. Where do you land on love languages and top sheets?

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Therapy is scary. If you're a therapist, if you're a client...SCARY. (Sorry we're releasing before Halloween.) We discuss some of the most common fears and delve deep into the rabbit hole of the vulnerabilities that therapy can unearth.

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So, in the name of PUSHING OURSELVES, we are pushing ourselves to run a re-run of an old episode and let go of our PERFECT PODCASTING STREAK ⚡️ is this wise? YOU TELL US. (New content coming next week!!!)

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Are you an ELDEST DAUGHTER? Have you ever felt like the world rests on your shoulders? Do you ever envy your middle and younger siblings (or...gasp...your BROTHERS?) Then this episode's for you. (And if you're a curious middle or inquisitive baby, please feel free to explore as well.) We all have something to learn here.

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Jon rejoins us for our robust analysis of the last 3 tenets of the DBT Consultation Agreement: 1) observing limits, 2) the non-judgmental stance and 3) the fallibility agreement.

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