Today I wanna talk about stoicism.
Zeno of Citium - Athens, 300 B.C.E
It was adopted and welcomed then by the Romans, to the point that their emperor Marcus Aurelius himself was a stoic.
If you want to know more about Marcus Aurelius, read his book “Meditations by Marcus Aurelius”
It wasn’t a book. It was actually a journal in which he wrote down his thoughts during different events like war and the pandemic that took the life of 5 M people.
Nowadays stoicism is becoming so popular and I think we need that, but it’s usually misused to the point that when we say someone is stoic, we either imagine someone that’s emotionless and heartless, or a doormat and that’s not necessarily true.
You can been a doormat if you choose to, but stoic in and of itself doesn’t mean that you should be that.
*in a nutshell stoicism means the art of focusing on what’s within your control and forget about what’s out of your control.
There are a lot of valuable lessons and principles in stoicism but in this episode I will only talk about my favorite ones that I try to implement in my own life everyday.
1- Minimize your expectations from people and the world. This doesn’t mean not to aim and work for things. But suppose you have a job interview tomorrow. In this case, typically you’ll get anxious.
2- Nothing is good or bad except your mind makes it so. Stoic philosophy puts a great emphasis on perception. Perception is different than feeling. If two people look at the same thing, they will visualize the same thing for the most part, but they will most definitely perceive the thing differently.
3- Don’t base your happiness on things outside of you. This includes gadgets, loved ones, kids.
I a lot of relationships, words are becoming more valuable than actions. The phrase “I love you” is so profound but it’s being thrown left and right to the point that it lost its meaning.
As a stoic, you shouldn’t compromise your integrity and fake love just to appear normal. And if you’re really in love, you don’t have to say it every 3 seconds and wait for the I love you too so you can get your dopamine hit.
4- Accept what’s out of your control and work on what is in your control: “Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not.” - Epictetus, The Art Of Living.
5- What’s the worst that can happen?
In any obstacle, think of the worst case scenario. What’s the worst that can happen. In doing so, you’ll be surprised how easy decision making becomes.
Here I’ll tell you something I learned from stoic philosophers with regards to the worst that can happen.
I think of my own death every night I go to sleep. I don’t mean to intellectually acknowledge that I will die one day. I mean to understand that I can die at any given moment.
I do it myself and it helps me take decisions in a split second. It washes away all the irrelevant nonsense only what matters remains.
I know if you’re 25, 35, 45 you probably think you’re too young to think of that but I’m telling you nothing is as liberating than facing this truth. Sooner or later you’ll have to face it. Once you accept it, you’ll be able to make bold decision if needed. And this is not to say you should throw yourself in danger just for the sake of it. You most likely won’t have to face a life or death situation anyway, but that'll help you in situations where you need to speak up, face your demons, give a speech, talk to the girl. The worst thing that can happen is she’ll reject you. Well, you’re mentally prepared for worse, so you go for it.
6- Stoicism puts a great emphasis on being virtuous.
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