In this episode of Firing Lane, Croaky Caiman dismantles the illusion of the "Woke Right," exposing it as a reactionary mimicry that undermines conservatism's core principles by adopting the tactics of identity politics, grievance culture, and tribalism. Drawing on Russell Kirk's concept of the "permanent things," Croaky argues that true conservatism must reject these transient strategies in favor of enduring values rooted in humility, prudence, and cultural renewal. He outlines the dangers of this counterfeit conservatism, from legitimizing chaos to alienating allies, and offers a clear path forward: focusing on local engagement, articulating a vision of the good life, and standing firm in principled conviction. With characteristic wit and intellectual depth, Croaky reminds listeners that conservatism is not about mimicking the noise of the Left but preserving the timeless truths that guide civilization through the wilderness.