This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Barb Wire (1996), Pamela Anderson's thriller that pulled a 28% on Rotten Tomatoes, turned a $9 million budget into $4 million at the box office, and walked away with a Razzie for Worst New Star. Set in a dystopian 2017 amid a second American Civil War, the film swaps out Casablanca's Rick for a nightclub-owning bounty hunter who hates being called "babe."

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Elektra (2005), the Jennifer Garner spin-off that earned 11% on Rotten Tomatoes and pulled $57 million against a $43 million budget — the lowest gross for any Marvel adaptation since Howard the Duck. The guys debate whether you can twist your own neck off, whether this counts as a Christmas movie, and the awesomeness of Bob Sapp's hit(?) single, Sapp Time.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Robin Hood (2018), directed by Otto Bathurst and starring Taron Egerton, Jamie Foxx as Little John, and Ben Mendelsohn as the Sheriff of Nottingham. Egerton fires arrows fast enough to punch through helmets, Foxx works through an accent that won't stay in one country, and Mendelsohn dusts off the same shouty authoritarian he played in Rogue One. The guys debate the casting, the preachy script, confusing setting, and whether anyone is actually a Robin Hood fan.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Masters of the Universe (1987), the 21% Rotten Tomatoes He-Man adaptation that turned a $22 million budget into $17 million at the box office and helped bankrupt Cannon Films within months. Directed by Gary Goddard — his only feature credit before he left to design theme parks — the movie was hyped as the Star Wars of the 80s, then ran out of money mid-shoot and relocated its intergalactic war to a suburban American strip mall. Dolph Lundgren stars as a glistening, barely-dressed He-Man whose dialogue had to be re-recorded in post. Frank Langella, performing through a rubber Skeletor mask that visibly inflates when he breathes, later called this his favorite role.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Swept Away (2002), the Madonna vehicle that scored a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes and made back just $1 million of its $10 million budget. Directed by Guy Ritchie and starring his then-wife, the movie strands two terrible characters on a deserted island and asks the audience to root for them as a couple. Madonna won the Razzie for Worst Actress — her first of two that year. Spoiler: both hosts agree it's the worst movie either has ever seen.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Crossroads (2002), the Britney Spears road trip vehicle that earned a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes but turned its $12 million budget into $60 million at the box office. Written by Shonda Rhimes and directed by the woman behind Half Baked and Billy Madison, the film follows three estranged high school friends — played by Spears, Zoe Saldana, and Taryn Manning — as they drive cross-country with a mysterious stranger to chase their dreams. The guys debate Dan Aykroyd's accent, Britney's status as the least convincing nerd in cinema history, and whether a karaoke crowd has ever been that enthusiastic about anything.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Cool as Ice (1991), the Vanilla Ice vanity project that scored a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes and earned back just $1.2 million of its $6 million budget. The movie is a plotless fever dream where a 24-year-old rapper jumps a motorcycle over a fence to impress a high schooler, breaks into her bedroom to drip ice on her face, and somehow also foils a witness protection kidnapping subplot that nobody asked for. Fun fact: the cinematographer went on to win Oscars for Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan. Everyone has a blip on their resume.

The grossest sandwich ever shown on film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqFuqAg1c9k

Jim Carrey as Vanilla Ice on In Living Color: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdtKBe7sM48

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Borderlands (2024), the $120 million video game adaptation that earned just $33 million at the box office and a 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. Directed by Eli Roth and starring Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Jack Black, this one boasts a ghost writer who doesn’t want to take credit for their work, action sequences with zero stakes, and the rare achievement of making Jack Black unfunny. Aaron calls it his least favorite movie they've covered — and they've watched Troll 2.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Hitman (2007) — a video game adaptation that strips away everything that made the source material interesting and replaces it with every action movie trope imaginable. Timothy Olyphant plays the world's most conspicuous assassin: bald, barcode-tattooed, wandering through train stations somehow undetected, and trembling noticeably while holding a gun. The plot — a Russian presidential body-double conspiracy so convoluted that Aaron paused mid-watch to Google it — earns its 16% on Rotten Tomatoes.

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This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Doom (2005) — an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes adaptation of one of the most influential video games ever made, starring Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban as space marines fighting hell beasts on Mars. For a franchise built entirely on relentless carnage, the film is surprisingly short on actual monster killing and long on standing around in corridors talking. Not bad enough to be fun, just bad enough to be boring.

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