For a long time, I thought isolation was protecting me.

During the years when I was struggling with addiction, grief after losing my parents, and mental health battles, I became consumed with trying to survive my own life. When that happens, something subtle begins to take over. You start thinking about yourself constantly. Not because you want to be selfish, but because you’re drowning.

There’s a lyric from Mike Mains and the Branches that described that season perfectly: “I’ve been so stuck on myself, can’t seem to help anyone else.”

I wanted to care for people. I wanted to be someone who showed up for others. But at the time I couldn’t even help myself, and I lived in the tension between who I hoped to be and who I actually was.

Pain convinced me that isolation would protect me. But isolation slowly becomes a prison.

In this episode, I talk about the lies that keep us hiding, the moments of betrayal that make us afraid to open up again, and the deep truth that we were never meant to live life alone. From the story of Adam and Eve hiding in the garden, to the friendships and brotherhood that helped pull me out of isolation, this conversation is about the power of connection and the courage it takes to step out of hiding.

Recently, in the middle of uncertainty and transition, I asked myself a simple question: What has God done in my life this week? What I wrote down surprised me. It wasn’t events. It was people. Name after name, I was struck with this overwhelming sense of gratitude and a simple, yet powerful truth: I am not alone... and neither are you.

We were made for community. We were made to live life with others where we can divide pain among us and walk together. Find your tribe and be willing to step out in vulnerability, you might be surprisedly what you find.

In September 2019, I was faced with a choice. I could either continue to live a life that was destroying me or lay down my weapons and surrender my pride.

I was trapped in addiction and every day was a reminder that my life had become unmanageable.

As I sat on the ground, drunk and alone, in my despair, I cried out to God, "take me now..."

In this episode, I talk about the day I surrendered my life and quit drinking. It has been 6.5 years since then and that first step led to me living a life I could not have possibly imagined.

Join me as we journey through that day together.

If you or a loved one are trapped in addiction, I want you to know you are not alone. There is hope, and there is healing.

Choose today to take a stand and step into your becoming as a creator of the future.

We don’t drift into the future God has for us. We strategically move into it.

In this episode, I talk about what it really takes to step forward—personally, spiritually, and practically. Not vague motivation, but honest evaluation. If we want a different future, we have to ask three questions: What do I need to stop doing? What do I need to continue doing? And what do I need to start doing?

Working with young men I coach, I often ask: Who do you want to be in one, three, or five years? And what can you begin doing today that reflects that person already?

Stepping into the future requires leaving things behind. When I moved to Mexico, I sold almost everything and packed what remained into a Honda Fit. When I quit drinking, I learned that freedom required changing “play places, playmates, and play things.” I could not live the same life and expect transformation.

We hold onto stories that limit us. We keep environments that keep us stuck. We preserve escape routes instead of burning ships. And sometimes the thing that needs to change isn’t just behavior, it’s belief.

Fear will still be there. The question is whether it gets to decide.

This episode is about commitment, surrender, identity, and trust. It’s about asking whether we are projecting our limitations onto God or stepping forward believing that what we cannot do alone, He can do through us.

The future isn’t built on intention alone. It’s built on decisions.

What do you need to stop?

What do you need to continue?

What do you need to start?

This is all a part of your becoming.

We all live by stories—about who we are, what’s possible, and what we can or can’t do. And often, we don’t even realize how much those stories are shaping our lives.

In this episode, I start with a familiar story from Exodus. The Israelites had witnessed God’s power firsthand—freedom from captivity, miracles, provision, and His presence guiding them by fire and cloud. Yet when they reached the Red Sea and saw the Egyptians closing in, fear took over. They longed for the familiarity of slavery because it felt safer than trusting what they couldn’t yet see.

That tension isn’t ancient—it’s human.

So often, we build our reality based on what’s visible, calculated, and comfortable. We tell ourselves stories about limitation: "there’s not enough time," "that life is for them, not me," or, "I’ll get to it someday." But when we slow down and honestly look at how we use our time and energy, we have to ask—are we devoting ourselves to what truly matters, or filling our lives with busyness and distraction that never moves the needle?

This episode isn’t about striving to be the best. It’s about asking a different question: How far can I go if I stop living by the stories that keep me small?

It’s an invitation to examine the narratives you’ve accepted, to question how they’re serving—or limiting—you, and to consider what it might look like to step beyond the veil of comfort and into a life shaped by faith, courage, and trust in a God who operates without limits.

If you’ve felt stuck, constrained, or quietly convinced that more isn’t possible for you—this episode is for you.

Dare to look at the stories you’re living by. Dare to take the next step.

Dare to become.

There was a time in my life when my word meant nothing—because my actions didn’t back it up.

I lied about my pain. I hid an eating disorder. I lied about drinking. I told people I was fine when I wasn’t. And one day, after asking a friend why no one believed me, they told me the truth I didn’t want to hear: you’ve created a reputation where you can’t be trusted.

That moment changed everything.

In this episode, I talk about what I mean when I tell my son, Jack, “a man is what he does.” Integrity isn’t perfection. It’s consistency over time. It’s doing what you say you’re going to do—again and again.

This is a story about losing trust, rebuilding it slowly, being called back into alignment by people who love you, and the quiet moment when someone finally trusted me again.

If your words and actions do not align, this conversation is for you.

After a relapse on New Year’s Day, I once asked someone when the pain would stop. His answer was simple: “When you stop digging.” But for a long time after that, I kept digging anyway.

In this episode, I talk about the shovel—what it represents, why we keep holding it, and how easy it is to stay busy, planned, and controlled while avoiding the deeper surrender that healing and faith require. I share how keeping my head down felt safer than looking up and facing how far I’d gone—and how I eventually realized I was the one holding the shovel the whole time.

I also open up about my relationship with my wife—how her spontaneity contrasts with my tendency to over-plan, and how that tension has revealed something deeper in me.

Looking back, the moments when God overwhelmed me most with His goodness weren’t when I had everything mapped out, but when I held a rough outline and trusted Him. That trust led me to Mexico, to the mountains of Oaxaca, to brotherhood, to Phoenix—and into a life that didn’t always make sense, but was undeniably aligned.

Over time, though, I’ve become more domesticated. More rigid. Less willing to flex the muscle of faith that once carried me forward. And this episode is an honest reckoning with that reality—an invitation to put the shovel down, loosen the grip on control, and listen again to the voice that keeps saying, “Follow Me.”

It’s one day or day one. We decide when that is.

If you’ve felt stuck, overly controlled, or quietly resistant to the next step you already know you’re being asked to take, this episode is for you.

Your yellow coat—the truest version of who you are—is waiting.

As we look ahead to a new year, many of us begin thinking about goals, direction, and what we want our lives to look like moving forward. But beneath those questions is often a deeper tension—an awareness that we know where we’re playing it safe, where we’re avoiding risk, and where we’re not listening to the voice that keeps saying, “Follow Me.”

In this episode, I reflect on the story of Peter stepping out of the boat and walking on water, and what it reveals about faith, fear, and distraction. I talk about how easy it is to stay in the boat because it feels familiar, and how—even when we do step out—we can lose focus by fixing our eyes on the winds and waves of the world instead of trusting where we’re being led.

This conversation is about preparation, planning, and becoming. As the year ahead approaches, I invite you to look in the mirror and ask these revealing questions:

Where are you living in tension with what feels "safe" and what you know to be true?

Where are you choosing comfort over obedience?

What goals do you actually have—and are they moving you closer to the life you were created to live?

For those waiting for a different call or a clearer sign, this episode offers a challenging reminder: sometimes the invitation isn’t new—it’s the one you’ve already heard, but haven’t followed yet.

If you’ve sensed that tension, felt that nudge, or know there’s a step you’ve been avoiding, this episode is for you.

Your yellow coat—the truest version of who you are—is waiting.

The holidays can bring joy, but they can also uncover something deeper—grief, longing, loneliness, old wounds, and the weight of missing the people who aren’t at the table for one reason or another. And when those feelings surface, many of us slip into numbing—through substances, isolating, or burying emotions we’re afraid to acknowledge.

In this episode, I talk about what the holidays used to look like for me—how I avoided grief, hid my sadness, and tried to outrun the pain with substances and distractions. I explore why numbing never works, why emotions have to be expressed or they eventually explode, and how reconciliation—with others and with yourself—begins with telling the truth.

There is power in feeling what you need to feel and getting your emotions out safely. And sometimes all it takes is 20 seconds of courage to take the next right step: calling someone, asking for help, or allowing yourself to be seen.

If the holidays feel heavy, if you’ve been numbing the pain, or if you’re holding on to what you haven’t talked about… this episode is for you.

And if this resonates with you—or you know someone who might need this message—please share it. No one should feel alone this season.

For years, I lived with a secret. Bulimia wasn’t something I chose—it was something that owned me. It started when I was ten, comparing myself to every kid around me… and realizing I didn’t measure up to what the world called “beautiful” or “enough.”

But this episode isn’t just about an eating disorder.

It’s about shame, comparison, body image, and the pressure to become who the world tells us we should be. It’s about seeking approval, hiding the parts of ourselves we hate, and worshiping the “porcelain god” because it felt like the only thing I could control.

Even when the purging stopped, the obsession didn’t. The body shame, the monitoring, the striving. And for men—this conversation is often silent. Hidden. Buried.

If you’ve ever struggled with food, your body, your identity, or living for others’ opinions, this episode is for you. You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. This is about stopping the hiding, telling the truth, and learning to live in your own skin again.

Healing doesn’t happen when we finally look perfect.

Healing begins when we decide to live free and become who we were created to be.

For a long time, I knew something wasn’t right. I felt everything — too deeply, too fast, too much. The highs were electric, the lows were unbearable, and I couldn’t name what was happening. Like so many others, I turned to alcohol and substances to cope, to quiet the noise I didn’t understand.

In this episode, I share my experience living with bipolar disorder and how addiction intertwined with it for years. But more importantly, I talk about what healing has looked like — learning to name what I feel, care for my mind, body, and spirit, and rebuild a life that’s honest and whole.

If you’ve ever struggled with mental health, battled addiction, or wondered why it feels so hard to find balance — this episode is for you. You’re not alone. Healing starts with honesty, and it’s never too late to start becoming who you were made to be.

OUT NOW: The Yellow Coat Club — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FYGT5W52