Summary

This episode explores the transformative power of failure, emphasizing how it can be a beautiful and essential part of growth. Chris and Andrew share personal stories, insights on identity, perseverance, and reframing failure as a refining force rather than a setback.

Key Topics

- The personal and emotional impact of failure

- Failure as a necessary step for growth and learning

- The importance of identity and perspective in facing failure

- Perseverance and the role of persistence in success

- Reframing failure as a positive and transformative experience

Key Principles

- Failure as a Pivot

- Identity Grounded in Faith

- Perseverance and Patience in Breakthroughs

Action Items

- Reframe failure as a learning opportunity

- Build a grounded identity to withstand setbacks

- Practice perseverance through repeated attempts

Chapters

00:00 - The Beauty of Failure

07:59 - Personal Identity and Failure

18:01 - Growth Through Failure

35:45 - Refining Identity in Failure

43:42 - Perseverance and Breakthrough

SummaryThis episode of the YOU Not Me Podcast explores the deeper meaning of success, contentment, and character beyond medals and records, using the 2026 Winter Olympics as a backdrop. Chris and Andrew share insights on how to pursue excellence with integrity without sacrificing building meaningful relationships and finding lasting fulfillment.Key Topics:- The pursuit of excellence and its impact on character- The importance of relationships and community in success- The dangers of ego and pride in achievement- Contentment regardless of winning or losing- Lessons from Olympic athletes on mental health and resilienceChapters00:00 Introduction: The Olympics as a Metaphor for Life00:51 The Highs and Lows of Olympic Competition01:55 The Pursuit of Gold and Its Hidden Costs03:24 Michael Phelps and the Depths of Mental Health05:39 The Role of Relationships and Contentment06:33 Personal Stories of Success and Failure12:06 The Three Phases of a Career: Climb, Arrival, and Disappointment12:52 Motivations of Young Athletes and Expectations14:46 Integrity and the Cost of Winning20:58 The Danger of Circumstantial Identity23:53 The Wisdom of Lindsey Vonn’s Decision24:47 The You Not Me Mindset: Balancing Success and Humility33:18 Living from a Posture of Contentment36:33 The Power of Community and Relationships45:29 Final Reflections: Character, Relationships, and Lasting Influence

In this episode of the YOU Not Me podcast, Chris and Andrew explore the profound impact of personal relationships on individual growth and change.

They discuss the importance of community, accountability, and the necessity of hard conversations in fostering genuine connections.

Through personal stories, they highlight the role of mentors and friends who challenge and encourage us, emphasizing that true influence often comes at a cost.

The conversation culminates in a call to action for listeners to reflect on their relationships and take steps to invest in the lives of others.

Takeaways

• None of us are self-made; we all have influences.
• Real change often comes from specific people in our lives.
• Community and accountability are crucial for personal growth.
• Forgiveness is essential for moving forward.
• True influence often requires sacrifice and time.
• Hard conversations are necessary for growth.
• Encouragement alone is not enough; challenge is needed.
• Investing in relationships is vital for long-term fulfillment.
• The best relationships are those that endure conflict.
• We need to actively support and uplift those around us.

Chapters

00:00 The Influence of Others on Personal Change

02:51 The Role of Community in Growth

05:47 Personal Stories of Transformation

10:49 The Power of Forgiveness and Support

16:56 Living for Others: The You Not Me Philosophy

20:49 The Journey of True Friendship

23:09 The Impact of Genuine Feedback

24:50 Confronting Personal Hypocrisy

29:16 The Importance of Tough Conversations

33:19 Building Relational Equity

37:28 Taking Action and Being the Change

SummaryLeadership is a lost art. A lot of people wonder how they can lead at home, at work, or on their sports team.

In this episode, we discuss the true essence of leadership, emphasizing that it is not about titles or authority but about responsibility, service, and character.

We explore how leadership manifests in various areas of life, including marriage, family, and the workplace, highlighting the importance of humility, accountability, and the willingness to serve others.

The conversation also touches on the challenges of leadership, the cost it entails, and the significance of building strong relationships and fostering a positive team culture.

Takeaways

• Leadership is a responsibility, not a title.
• Every person leads in some capacity in their life.
• True leadership involves serving others and sacrificing for their good.
• Good leaders create a ripple effect of service in their communities.
• Character is more important than skills in leadership.
• Effective leadership requires self-leadership first.
• In marriage, leadership is about mutual support and service.
• In the workplace, leaders should focus on team success over personal gain.
• Accountability and setting standards are crucial in team dynamics.
• The best leaders are consistent and dependable across all areas of life.

Chapters

00:00 The Essence of Leadership

03:27 What Leadership Is Not

07:31 Character Over Competence

10:07 Leadership in Marriage and Family

14:27 Bringing Your A-Game Home

15:14 Practical Actions for Family Engagement

16:29 Leadership Beyond Titles

16:47 Taking Initiative in the Workplace

17:42 Personal Accountability and Team Morale

18:47 Focusing on Team Impact Over Promotions

19:52 Creating a Positive Workplace Culture

21:04 Courageous Coaching and Feedback

21:18 Setting and Maintaining Standards

23:12 Encouragement and Accountability in Leadership

28:10 The Cost of Leadership

29:08 Characteristics of Great Leaders

Summary

In this episode, we discuss the various seasons of life, emphasizing the importance of understanding and navigating each phase intentionally. We explore the challenges faced in different decades, from teenage years to adulthood, and highlight the significance of mentorship, building relationships, and investing time in family. The conversation underscores that while each season has its unique focus, aligning one's actions with the current season can lead to a fulfilling and impactful life.

Takeaways

• Seasons of life have distinct purposes and lessons.
• Feeling stuck is common; intentionality can help.
• Social media can distort perceptions of reality.
• Building relationships is crucial in your 20s.
• Mentorship can shape your career and personal growth.
• Investing time in family is vital in your 30s.
• Neglecting relationships can lead to regret later.
• Mentoring younger generations is a key focus in your 40s.
• Stewardship and wisdom transfer are essential in your 50s.
• Outward focus leads to inward clarity.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction of Andrew McCartney

00:48 Understanding the Seasons of Life

07:42 Teenage Years: Identity and Character Formation

14:30 The 20s: Building Skills and Relationships

20:03 Building Trust and Relationships

24:52 Navigating Mistakes and Accountability

25:04 Prioritizing Family and Purpose in Your 30s

33:21 Mentorship and Growth in Your 40s

37:41 Stewardship and Wisdom Transfer in Your 50s and Beyond

Summary

In this episode of the YOU Not Me podcast, Chris Behrmann reflects on the conclusion of the Division I men's soccer season, discussing the significance of winning and losing, and the importance of finding purpose beyond competition.

The conversation delves into the pressures of expectations, the journey of growth through failure, and the need for intentionality in creating a lasting impact.

Ultimately, the discussion emphasizes the values that endure beyond achievements and the legacy one leaves behind.

Takeaways

• The end of a season brings reflection on achievements.
• Winning or losing, the season will always end.
• Finding purpose beyond competition is essential.
• Self-worth should not be tied to outcomes.
• Success can lead to rising expectations and pressure.
• Growth requires time and patience.
• Intentionality is key in making a lasting impact.
• Family and relationships are what truly matter.
• Consistency in purpose leads to fulfillment.
• Living for others creates a meaningful legacy.

Chapters

00:00 The Reality of Competition and Life's Continuity

01:48 The Heart Behind Actions: Purpose vs. Applause

04:57 The Illusion of Success and Its Consequences

09:55 The Importance of Intentionality in Growth

16:54 Living for Others: The True Measure of Success

20:14 Three Anchors for a Meaningful Life

Summary

In this episode of the YOU Not Me podcast, Chris Behrmann delves into the concept of gratitude, especially around the Thanksgiving season.

He explores the common pitfalls of gratitude practices, emphasizing the importance of recognizing what we truly deserve in life.

The conversation highlights the dangers of entitlement and pride, advocating for a mindset shift towards humility and appreciation.

Practical steps are discussed to cultivate a genuine sense of gratitude, transforming it from a seasonal practice into a way of living.

Takeaways

• Gratitude is often viewed as a seasonal sentiment.
• Many gratitude practices miss the essence of true appreciation.
• Recognizing what you deserve is crucial for genuine gratitude. Entitlement clouds our ability to appreciate gifts in life.
• Humility is key to transforming entitlement into gratitude.
• Contentment comes from gratitude, not from achievements.
• Life should be seen as a gift, not an entitlement.
• Reflecting on small things can enhance gratitude.
• Practicing gratitude requires a mindset shift.
• Gratitude is more than a practice; it's a way of living.

Chapters

00:00 The Essence of Gratitude

05:20 Confronting Entitlement and Expectation

11:07 The Role of Grace in Gratitude

16:35 Shifting Mindsets: From Entitlement to Humility

22:24 Living with a Grateful Perspective

26:19 Practical Steps to Cultivate Gratitude

Summary

In this episode of the YOU Not Me podcast, Chris Behrmann discuss the significance of starting now in achieving personal goals and building lasting habits. This episode emphasizes the importance of urgency in taking action. The conversation also highlights the value of investing in relationships and the role of community in personal development. Listeners are encouraged to overcome mental barriers and take practical steps towards their goals, regardless of past setbacks.

Takeaways

• Starting now is crucial for achieving goals.
• Small daily choices build momentum over time.
• Growth requires consistency and commitment.
• Investing in relationships is key to long-term success.
• Community support helps overcome personal challenges.
• Every small effort contributes to overall progress.
• Don't let past failures prevent you from starting again.
• The urgency of action can prevent regret later.
• Mental barriers can be overcome with support from others.
• Focus on the journey, not just the destination.

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Starting Now

03:02 The Power of Small Steps

05:18 Growth and Change: A Gradual Process

12:51 The Urgency of Action

19:11 Building Endurance Through Incremental Efforts

22:47 Transforming from the Inside Out

28:48 The Value of Relationships in Growth

35:44 Action Steps for Lasting Change

Summary

In this episode of the YOU Not Me Podcast, Chris explores the true sources of happiness and fulfillment, emphasizing the importance of relationships over material wealth. He discusses insights from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which reveals that quality relationships are key to long-lasting joy and health. The conversation also highlights the significance of time as a finite resource and encourages listeners to prioritize meaningful connections and experiences. The episode concludes with practical steps for shifting mindsets to value relationships and invest time wisely.

Takeaways

• Most people equate happiness with money and fame.
• The Harvard study shows relationships are key to fulfillment.
• Time is a finite resource we must use wisely.
• Investing in experiences creates lasting memories.
• Quality of relationships matters more than quantity.
• Loneliness can lead to cognitive decline.
• Fulfillment comes from deep connections with others.
• We often postpone important conversations, thinking there's more time.
• Shifting focus from self to others enhances joy.
• True wealth is found in relationships, not assets.

Chapters

00:00 The Pursuit of Happiness: A Misguided Journey

02:48 The Harvard Study: Relationships Over Wealth

06:50 Time: The Most Precious Resource

12:53 Investing Time in Relationships

16:30 The Cycle of Discontent and Connection

19:58 Life Lessons from Loss: The Importance of Vulnerability

Summary

In this episode, Chris discusses the importance of maintaining a mindset of excellence regardless of external circumstances.

The conversation centers around why individuals should not wait for perfect conditions to give their best effort, as this can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities.

The episode explores the themes of influence, service over self, and the significance of setting high standards in life and relationships.

Practical examples and personal anecdotes illustrate how consistent effort and a focus on serving others can lead to personal growth and stronger relationships.

Takeaways

• Your environment doesn't have to determine your effort.
• You can choose to live with excellence regardless of instability.
• Waiting for perfect conditions leads to stagnation.
• Service over self is crucial for strong relationships.
• Standards should not shift with circumstances.
• Consistent effort prepares you for ideal conditions.
• Influence can come from any position, not just leadership roles.
• Small actions can lead to significant impacts over time.
• You don't rise to the occasion; you fall to your standards.
• Focus on how you can contribute, not just on your own needs.

Chapters

00:00 The Power of Personal Commitment

06:08 Rising Above Circumstances

12:58 Influence Beyond Position

17:05 Standards and Relationships

24:20 The Impact of Small Efforts

25:18 The Power of Small Efforts

27:09 Anchoring Principles in Life's Storms

30:06 Purpose Over Position

34:06 Service Over Self

41:07 Standards Over Situations