Episode Overview
In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, we dive into one of the most important—and surprisingly simple—ways to connect with your kid: saying yes. Whether it’s joining them on a roller coaster, staying up late to watch silly YouTube videos, or going to a fast-food place you’d never choose, these little moments matter more than you think.

We’ll explore why kids invite us into their world in ways that don’t always make sense to adults, and how saying yes can strengthen your bond, create lifetime memories, and show them that they truly matter. Parenting is full of small decisions, and this is one you’ll never regret.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Key Takeaways

Quotes from the Episode

Resources & Next Steps

Episode Summary:
As parents, we want our kids to succeed, but true fulfillment only comes when their goals align with their authentic selves. In this episode, Scott Schimmel dives deep into the science of motivation, exploring self-concordance theory—a framework that helps explain why some goals energize and fulfill us while others leave us feeling empty. Learn how to guide your kids toward meaningful, autonomous goals and away from the trap of external pressures, guilt, and burnout.

Scott shares personal stories, practical advice, and research-backed insights to help parents foster their children’s self-awareness, autonomy, and lifelong fulfillment. Discover how to support your kids in identifying what truly lights them up, reflect on their motivations, and make decisions that align with their identity and values.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Actionable Takeaways:

Connect with Us:

Episode Overview
In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, we’re tackling one of the most challenging aspects of parenting: giving your kid the independence they crave while still guiding and supporting them. If you’re tired of constant clashes and feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, this episode is for you. Discover how autonomy-supportive parenting can reduce power struggles, build trust, and help your kid develop the confidence and resilience they need to thrive.

We’ll break down:

Take the Quiz:
Curious about how autonomy-supportive your parenting is? Take our quick quiz to find out your autonomy skill level: theyouschool.com/autonomy-quiz.

[0:24] The Core Parenting Struggle
Why do kids push back so hard? They’re craving independence—but in a way that feels supported, not abandoned.

[1:13] The Research Behind Autonomy Support
Learn about the decades of research behind autonomy and why it’s essential for your kid’s growth.

[3:00] Why Parents Struggle to Let Go
We break down the top 10 reasons parents hesitate to give their kids autonomy, including fear of failure, control issues, and societal pressures.

[9:34] The Impact of Autonomy on Kids
Discover how giving your kid independence builds confidence, resilience, and a stronger relationship with you.

[12:26] What Autonomy Is (and Isn’t)
Clear up common misconceptions about autonomy and learn what it means to provide freedom within boundaries.

[15:13] Practical Ways to Offer Autonomy
Get actionable examples for everyday parenting scenarios, from homework to screen time and friendships.

Episode Summary: In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into the challenges kids face today around feeling seen, valued, and genuinely connected. Growing up in a world driven by social media, kids often receive “false positives” (temporary boosts of validation) or “false negatives” (feelings of rejection) that leave them questioning their value. Scott shares three foundational ways parents can communicate unconditional love and genuine regard to their kids: by lighting up when they see them, showing curiosity, and mirroring back their value. Discover how to create a solid foundation that helps kids feel like they matter—regardless of social media validation—and sets them up for a lifetime of confidence, happiness, and resilience.

Key Takeaways:

The difference between solitude and loneliness and how mattering is essential for self-worth.
How social media creates “false positives” and “false negatives” that can impact kids’ mental health.
Three powerful strategies to show kids they matter: light up when you see them, be curious about their lives, and mirror back their value.
Chapters:

[00:02] Introduction: Scott reflects on his own teenage years and feelings of loneliness.
[01:10] Social Media and Validation: Exploring how false positives and false negatives impact kids’ self-worth.
[02:44] The Gray Kid Phenomenon: Why the “kids in the middle” often feel overlooked and unnoticed.
[05:09] Creating a Home Base: How parents can provide unconditional love and a safe space for kids.
[06:20] Three Ways to Communicate Mattering: Lighting up, showing curiosity, and mirroring value.
[07:31] Closing Remarks: Encouraging parents to support their kids’ foundational need to feel valued.

Episode Summary:
In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into the importance of teaching kids how to help others feel like they matter. Growing up is already challenging, and social media only intensifies the pressure kids feel to gain external validation. But what if, instead of constantly seeking validation, kids learned to give it? Scott introduces the science of mattering, highlighting two essential components: feeling valued and adding value. By learning to express mattering to those around them—through simple acts like acknowledging, greeting, and showing interest—kids can gain a sense of self-worth while creating positive impacts on others. Scott shares personal insights, research-backed strategies, and practical ways parents can model this behavior, ultimately empowering kids to connect deeply and compassionately with others.

Chapters:

[00:08] Introduction: Why helping kids feel valued and add value is critical for their development.
[01:30] The Challenge of Seeking Validation: Exploring how social media impacts kids' self-worth.
[02:34] The Science of Mattering: Two essential parts of mattering—feeling valued and adding value.
[04:00] A Typical School Scenario: Understanding how kids often feel ignored in social settings.
[05:03] Teaching Kids to Show Value: Encouraging kids to notice and acknowledge others, especially those who seem invisible.
[06:10] Modeling Mattering as Adults: Scott’s personal commitment to greeting kids and adults he knows.
[07:20] A Challenge for Parents: Inspiring parents to model this behavior and teach kids to do the same.
Key Takeaways:

Kids benefit immensely when they feel they both matter and make a difference to those around them.
Social media reinforces the need for external validation, but internal validation can be built by focusing on mattering.
Simple acts of greeting, listening, and showing interest can help kids experience the power of adding value to others' lives.

Episode Summary
In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel breaks down the concept of "mattering" and why it’s crucial for teenage development. Drawing from the latest research by Gordon Flett, Gregory Elliott, and Isaac Prilleltensky, Scott explains what mattering means, why it goes beyond simple connection, and how parents can practically show their kids they truly matter. Discover how mattering impacts self-worth, reduces risky behavior, and boosts academic engagement, and learn specific actions you can take to affirm your teen’s value.

Chapters

Summary

In this episode of the YouSchool podcast, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of guiding children towards clarity in their interests and career paths. He reflects on his personal experiences as a parent and the insights gained from his research on adolescent development. The conversation emphasizes the need to identify children's interests through their digital activities and encourages parents to foster curiosity and exploration in their kids.

Takeaways

The norm is that kids often feel lonely and disconnected after college.
Clarity about interests and values is crucial for youth.
Narrowing down options can help in decision-making.
Digital footprints can reveal children's true interests.
Curiosity is a strong indicator of intrinsic motivation.
Parents should think like algorithms to understand their kids' interests.
Encouraging exploration can lead to unexpected discoveries.
It's important to create a supportive environment for kids.
Conversations about interests should be engaging, not interrogative.
Fostering curiosity can lead to a more fulfilling career path.

Sound Bites

"I want my kids to become happy and successful."
"I feel really lonely and disconnected."
"Narrowing things down is actually a really, really helpful way."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to YouSchool and Its Purpose
02:54 The Importance of Clarity in Career Paths
05:49 Identifying Interests Through Digital Clues
09:13 Encouraging Curiosity and Shared Interests

In this episode, Scott Schimmel dives deep into one of the biggest challenges parents face—helping their kids navigate the natural fogginess of adolescence to find clarity in their lives. Scott shares personal experiences with his own children, offering practical, easy-to-implement strategies for parents to guide their kids toward discovering their unique skills, values, and purpose.

Scott’s three-step method—asking questions, observing, and taking notes—will help you play a crucial role in guiding your kids from fogginess to clarity as they move through the critical teenage years.

Join the START Newsletter:
For more actionable tips and resources to guide your kids toward clarity and purpose, sign up for our weekly START Newsletter! Each week, we’ll send you a new idea to help you be intentional in your parenting journey.
👉 Sign up here: theyouschool.com/start

Summary

In this episode of the YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of guiding children towards self-awareness and fulfillment, particularly in the context of social media and identity formation. He emphasizes the need for parents to set the right kind of expectations for their children, distinguishing between harmful pressures and supportive guidance. The conversation highlights the role of authoritative parenting, where high expectations are paired with support, enabling children to thrive and explore their intrinsic interests.

Takeaways

The primary mission of YouSchool is to guide kids to become self-aware and self-driven adults.
Social media poses significant challenges to children's identity formation.
Parents should avoid pressuring kids into specific career or college paths.
Research shows that pressure from parents can lead to lower success and fulfillment.
Parents should focus on helping kids feel seen, heard, and validated.
Intrinsic interests should be explored and affirmed by parents.
High expectations can be beneficial when paired with support.
Authoritative parenting is effective in fostering children's growth.
Parents should encourage kids to take initiative and be responsible.
Open communication about expectations can lead to better outcomes for children.

Sound Bites

"How do we prepare them for it?"
"Your kids do not need you to pressure them."
"Do not put pressure on them instead."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Purpose of YouSchool
03:00 Understanding Expectations in Parenting
05:59 The Role of High Expectations and Support

Links from the Episode:

Take our short survey - https://bit.ly/parent-tech-concern-survey

Check out our Tech Healthy Parenting Course, and start guiding your family to healthier tech habits - https://techhealthyparenting.com/

In this episode, Scott and Tyler discuss the challenges of parenting in the digital age and how to help kids navigate online interactions. They emphasize the importance of monitoring and guiding children's online behavior, teaching them to be kind and respectful in their digital interactions. They share personal stories and encourage parents to have open conversations with their kids about the potential harms of social media. The episode concludes with a promotion of their Tech Healthy Parenting course.

TAKEAWAYS 

Chapters

00:00 Parenting in the Digital Age

02:54 Training Kids to Be Good Humans

06:33 The Importance of FaceTime

08:35 Teaching Kindness and Respect

11:34 Sharing Personal Stories

13:27 Promoting the Tech Healthy Parenting Course