The YouSchool Podcast

Episode Summary: In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into the challenges kids face today around feeling seen, valued, and genuinely connected. Growing up in a world driven by social media, kids often receive “false positives” (temporary boosts of validation) or “false negatives” (feelings of rejection) that leave them questioning their value. Scott shares three foundational ways parents can communicate unconditional love and genuine regard to their kids: by lighting up when they see them, showing curiosity, and mirroring back their value. Discover how to create a solid foundation that helps kids feel like they matter—regardless of social media validation—and sets them up for a lifetime of confidence, happiness, and resilience.

Key Takeaways:

The difference between solitude and loneliness and how mattering is essential for self-worth.
How social media creates “false positives” and “false negatives” that can impact kids’ mental health.
Three powerful strategies to show kids they matter: light up when you see them, be curious about their lives, and mirror back their value.
Chapters:

[00:02] Introduction: Scott reflects on his own teenage years and feelings of loneliness.
[01:10] Social Media and Validation: Exploring how false positives and false negatives impact kids’ self-worth.
[02:44] The Gray Kid Phenomenon: Why the “kids in the middle” often feel overlooked and unnoticed.
[05:09] Creating a Home Base: How parents can provide unconditional love and a safe space for kids.
[06:20] Three Ways to Communicate Mattering: Lighting up, showing curiosity, and mirroring value.
[07:31] Closing Remarks: Encouraging parents to support their kids’ foundational need to feel valued.

Episode Summary:
In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into the importance of teaching kids how to help others feel like they matter. Growing up is already challenging, and social media only intensifies the pressure kids feel to gain external validation. But what if, instead of constantly seeking validation, kids learned to give it? Scott introduces the science of mattering, highlighting two essential components: feeling valued and adding value. By learning to express mattering to those around them—through simple acts like acknowledging, greeting, and showing interest—kids can gain a sense of self-worth while creating positive impacts on others. Scott shares personal insights, research-backed strategies, and practical ways parents can model this behavior, ultimately empowering kids to connect deeply and compassionately with others.

Chapters:

[00:08] Introduction: Why helping kids feel valued and add value is critical for their development.
[01:30] The Challenge of Seeking Validation: Exploring how social media impacts kids' self-worth.
[02:34] The Science of Mattering: Two essential parts of mattering—feeling valued and adding value.
[04:00] A Typical School Scenario: Understanding how kids often feel ignored in social settings.
[05:03] Teaching Kids to Show Value: Encouraging kids to notice and acknowledge others, especially those who seem invisible.
[06:10] Modeling Mattering as Adults: Scott’s personal commitment to greeting kids and adults he knows.
[07:20] A Challenge for Parents: Inspiring parents to model this behavior and teach kids to do the same.
Key Takeaways:

Kids benefit immensely when they feel they both matter and make a difference to those around them.
Social media reinforces the need for external validation, but internal validation can be built by focusing on mattering.
Simple acts of greeting, listening, and showing interest can help kids experience the power of adding value to others' lives.

Episode Summary
In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel breaks down the concept of "mattering" and why it’s crucial for teenage development. Drawing from the latest research by Gordon Flett, Gregory Elliott, and Isaac Prilleltensky, Scott explains what mattering means, why it goes beyond simple connection, and how parents can practically show their kids they truly matter. Discover how mattering impacts self-worth, reduces risky behavior, and boosts academic engagement, and learn specific actions you can take to affirm your teen’s value.

Chapters

Summary

In this episode of the YouSchool podcast, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of guiding children towards clarity in their interests and career paths. He reflects on his personal experiences as a parent and the insights gained from his research on adolescent development. The conversation emphasizes the need to identify children's interests through their digital activities and encourages parents to foster curiosity and exploration in their kids.

Takeaways

The norm is that kids often feel lonely and disconnected after college.
Clarity about interests and values is crucial for youth.
Narrowing down options can help in decision-making.
Digital footprints can reveal children's true interests.
Curiosity is a strong indicator of intrinsic motivation.
Parents should think like algorithms to understand their kids' interests.
Encouraging exploration can lead to unexpected discoveries.
It's important to create a supportive environment for kids.
Conversations about interests should be engaging, not interrogative.
Fostering curiosity can lead to a more fulfilling career path.

Sound Bites

"I want my kids to become happy and successful."
"I feel really lonely and disconnected."
"Narrowing things down is actually a really, really helpful way."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to YouSchool and Its Purpose
02:54 The Importance of Clarity in Career Paths
05:49 Identifying Interests Through Digital Clues
09:13 Encouraging Curiosity and Shared Interests

In this episode, Scott Schimmel dives deep into one of the biggest challenges parents face—helping their kids navigate the natural fogginess of adolescence to find clarity in their lives. Scott shares personal experiences with his own children, offering practical, easy-to-implement strategies for parents to guide their kids toward discovering their unique skills, values, and purpose.

Scott’s three-step method—asking questions, observing, and taking notes—will help you play a crucial role in guiding your kids from fogginess to clarity as they move through the critical teenage years.

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Summary

In this episode of the YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of guiding children towards self-awareness and fulfillment, particularly in the context of social media and identity formation. He emphasizes the need for parents to set the right kind of expectations for their children, distinguishing between harmful pressures and supportive guidance. The conversation highlights the role of authoritative parenting, where high expectations are paired with support, enabling children to thrive and explore their intrinsic interests.

Takeaways

The primary mission of YouSchool is to guide kids to become self-aware and self-driven adults.
Social media poses significant challenges to children's identity formation.
Parents should avoid pressuring kids into specific career or college paths.
Research shows that pressure from parents can lead to lower success and fulfillment.
Parents should focus on helping kids feel seen, heard, and validated.
Intrinsic interests should be explored and affirmed by parents.
High expectations can be beneficial when paired with support.
Authoritative parenting is effective in fostering children's growth.
Parents should encourage kids to take initiative and be responsible.
Open communication about expectations can lead to better outcomes for children.

Sound Bites

"How do we prepare them for it?"
"Your kids do not need you to pressure them."
"Do not put pressure on them instead."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Purpose of YouSchool
03:00 Understanding Expectations in Parenting
05:59 The Role of High Expectations and Support

Links from the Episode:

Take our short survey - https://bit.ly/parent-tech-concern-survey

Check out our Tech Healthy Parenting Course, and start guiding your family to healthier tech habits - https://techhealthyparenting.com/

In this episode, Scott and Tyler discuss the challenges of parenting in the digital age and how to help kids navigate online interactions. They emphasize the importance of monitoring and guiding children's online behavior, teaching them to be kind and respectful in their digital interactions. They share personal stories and encourage parents to have open conversations with their kids about the potential harms of social media. The episode concludes with a promotion of their Tech Healthy Parenting course.

TAKEAWAYS 

Chapters

00:00 Parenting in the Digital Age

02:54 Training Kids to Be Good Humans

06:33 The Importance of FaceTime

08:35 Teaching Kindness and Respect

11:34 Sharing Personal Stories

13:27 Promoting the Tech Healthy Parenting Course

In this episode, we explore the critical issue of guiding your kids to become thoughtful, self-aware individuals in the age of social media. Join Scott Schimmel, President and Chief Guide of The YouSchool, as he shares insights and practical advice on how to help your children navigate the digital world wisely.

Key Takeaways:

- Is keeping your kids away from social media the answer?
- The real impact of social media on both adults and children.
- Personal story: How a dream vacation led to an eye-opening realization about FOMO.
- The hidden threats of social media on kids' identity formation.
- Practical steps to cultivate critical thinking and conscious living in your children.
- Introduction to our Tech Healthy Parenting course.

Timestamps:
00:03 - Is keeping kids off social media the answer?
01:00 - Introduction to guiding kids through social media.
02:00 - The distraction and distortion caused by social media.
03:00 - Personal story: Experiencing FOMO on a dream vacation.
04:30 - The impact of social media on adults vs. children.
05:30 - The existential threat of social media's hidden messages.
06:30 - Practical steps for parents to help kids navigate social media.
07:30 - Introduction to the Tech Healthy Parenting course.

Resources Mentioned:

Tech Healthy Parenting Course
Jonathan Haidt's Research
Jean Twenge's Insights

Connect with Us:

Visit our website: theyouschool.com
Follow us on Instagram: @TheYouSchool
Like us on Facebook: The YouSchool

About Scott Schimmel:
Scott Schimmel is the President and Chief Guide of The YouSchool. With over two decades of experience guiding young adults into intentional, conscious living, Scott shares his expertise on helping parents and children navigate the complexities of the modern world.

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Transcript Highlights:

Scott Schimmel (00:03.06): Is keeping your kids away from social media the answer? Absolutely for a while, but eventually they're going to have to operate in this world. The whole point of parenting is to guide your kids to become critical thinkers as they participate in the world through social media so that they're not distracted and their life isn't distorted by the messages that are coming through.

Scott Schimmel (02:00): Advertisers have used scare tactics and scarcity to sell throughout time, and it's really no different in social media. I’m a grown man, and yet I am so distracted by the messages that come through media, particularly social media.

Scott Schimmel (03:00): I remember being in Maui, the absolute vacation of our dreams for my wife and I. One day, I scrolled through social media and saw another family on a trip in Zion National Park. Suddenly, I felt bad that we weren't there instead, even though I was in my favorite place in the world.

Scott Schimmel (04:30): If I, with my achievements and stability, can feel worse because of social media, how much more will this happen to a kid who hasn't formed a life yet?

Scott Schimmel (06:30): Eventually, your kids will have access to social media. The key question is whether they will be mindful and self-aware, able to think critically, or if they will be victims of the false messages telling them they're not enough.

Scott Schimmel (07:30): At The YouSchool, we've designed the Tech Healthy Parenting course to help parents navigate these issues. By consuming media with your kids and discussing the underlying messages, you can guide them to be thoughtful and wise.

Remember to check out our Tech Healthy Parenting course to help you and your kids navigate the digital world effectively!

Summary

In this conversation, Tyler and Scott discuss the harmful impact of cell phones on children's development and social media. They explore three specific topics: the negative effects of phone distractions on kids' ability to focus, how parents can model better behaviors and break the addictive cycle, and the psychological impact of peers having phones on a child's identity development. They emphasize the importance of teaching kids to focus and engage in deep work, setting boundaries and explaining the reasons behind them. They also discuss the impact of phone distractions on relationships and the need for presence in face-to-face interactions.

Takeaways

Cell phones have a harmful impact on children's development and social media.

Parents should model better behaviors and break the addictive cycle.

Phone distractions affect kids' ability to focus and engage in deep work.

Setting boundaries and explaining the reasons behind them is important.

Phone distractions also impact relationships and the need for presence in face-to-face interactions.

Episode 121:

Social media distorts reality and undermines the values we teach our kids. It promotes the fallacies of accumulating resources, building a resume, and impressing others. However, research shows that kids need a well-grounded identity, an authentic community, and a sense of purpose. Social media can lead to worse mental health and prevent kids from reaching their potential. Parents need to help their kids see through the distortion and teach them that their value is not determined by social media metrics. A course called Tech Healthy Parenting is being developed to provide parents with the tools to navigate social media with their kids.

Takeaways