Fear, it's always been my scapegoat to hide from my reality... cynicism has been my go to friend, he keeps me from having to change... but recently i got to a place where i've spent long enough afraid, long enough waiting for someone else to fix things, long enough to be done wishing it were different. i don't know where this will go. i don't know how i'm gonna book and record this thing every week. i don't know if she'll ever care. all i know is, i can't keep living reactive.