theFormed.life

With God: In Suffering | POD 068

Introduction:

In this special episode, Andrew DeKanter who is a pastor and the founder of Better Stories Ministries, sits down with Jacob Nannie to share a personal story of loss, faith, and hope after tragedy. Together, they reflect honestly on walking with God through suffering and how a supportive community makes all the difference.

3 Main Takeaways:

1.The Importance of Presence in Suffering

Both Jacob Nannie and Andrew DeKanter emphasize that the most helpful response to those who are grieving is not polished answers or quick fixes, but simply being present—“weeping with those who weep”—and carrying burdens alongside them (26:06).

2.The Reality of Spiritual and Emotional Complexity

Andrew DeKanter describes the intertwined experience of mental health struggles, spiritual warfare, and grief following the loss of his son Moses (08:49, 33:23). He highlights both the material and spiritual realities at play in suffering, affirming the existence of real evil but also the sovereignty and goodness of God, even amidst deep questions and loss (36:13).

3.God’s Sovereignty and Redemptive Hope

Even in the midst of unfathomable loss, Andrew DeKanter clings to truths from Scripture: that God is sovereign, that he is good, and that suffering can have purpose (40:03). Andrew DeKanter finds healing in seeing God use his pain to help others, particularly through his current work with college students—a reminder that God can bring redemptive good from even the deepest grief (44:42).

Resources:

https://www.betterstoryministries.org/

https://youtu.be/xQwnH8th_fs?si=2jIoxkEskLQ6Z_bU

https://youtu.be/GswSg2ohqmA?si=jZyfn8LnbAQsFxTb

https://youtu.be/5vp9hV8bOjk?si=EQtbAmrmGbAk25Ld

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594634408/?bestFormat=true&k=walking%20with%20god%20through%20pain%20and%20suffering&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-bk-ww_k1_1_17_de&crid=1HDV5WQIAR55F&sprefix=walking%20with%20god%20

            Crisis support: call or text 988 if you are in the United States.

Timestamps:

02:39 — Andrew DeKanter shares memories of his son Moses, describing his personality, talents, and spiritual life.

12:20 — Andrew DeKanter recounts the events leading up to Moses' passing and the family's experience of grief and loss.

20:01 — Andrew DeKanter outlines three common (often unhelpful) ways people respond to others’ suffering and highlights the importance of "weeping with those who weep."

31:41 — Andrew DeKanter reflects on the theological lessons learned from Job and the grounding truths he held onto during grief.

44:22 — Andrew DeKanter discusses how God is bringing healing in his life, particularly through ministry to college students after the loss of his son.

Keywords

Suffering, Grief, Suicide, Loss, Job (Book of Job), Mental health, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Religious scrupulosity, Faith, Hope, Spiritual warfare, Presence, Compassion, Church community, Healing, Redemptive suffering, God’s sovereignty, Support in crisis, Ministry, Trauma, Covenant love (Hesed), Lament, Pain, Family, Vulnerability, Authenticity

In this episode, hosts Paul Brandes and Jacob Nannie welcome back guest Jay Stringer, a licensed counselor, researcher, and author. They discuss themes from Jay Stringer's book, Desire focusing on how our desires—especially those surrounding sexuality and brokenness—shape our lives, relationships, and spiritual growth. The conversation unpacks the importance of understanding the roots of our desires rather than simply suppressing or indulging them, inviting listeners to approach their inner struggles with curiosity, honesty, and grace.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. Desires Are Not Random—They’re Instructive

Jay Stringer emphasizes that our desires and even our struggles—especially those relating to sexuality—are not arbitrary or meaningless. Instead, they are deeply connected to our personal stories, family dynamics, and past wounds.

2. Honor and Honesty Go Hand-in-Hand

A recurring theme is the importance of holding both honor and honesty together when examining our personal stories and relationships, particularly regarding family of origin. 

3. Symptoms and Temptations Are Invitations to Deeper Discipleship

Instead of viewing symptoms (like sexual compulsion, low desire, overeating, etc.) only as problems to be eradicated, Jay Stringer encourages treating them as “holy men”—signals calling for our attention. 

Resources:

• 
  Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow: Stringer, Jay
• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing: Stringer, Jay: 9781631466724

Timestamps:

00:03:12 — Jay Stringer discusses why it's important to distinguish between a symptom and the desire behind it, laying the groundwork for understanding sexual brokenness and desire.

00:06:27 — Jay Stringer addresses how to reread biblical stories (like David’s) through the lens of unmet longings and untransformed pain.

00:12:19 — Jay Stringer introduces the concept of holding together "honor and honesty" regarding our personal and family stories as foundational for true healing.

00:16:21 — Jay Stringer shares real-life client examples demonstrating how sexual struggles and desires are often rooted in specific, unresolved early-life wounds.

00:23:50 — Jay Stringer offers pointed, practical questions for listeners to ask themselves in moments of temptation, emphasizing curiosity over accusation.

Keywords

Desire, Sexuality, Sexual brokenness, Symptoms, Healing, Intimacy, Family of origin, Formation

Power and abuse, Honesty and honor, Story and narrative, Curiosity, Temptation, Arousal template, Shame, Transformation, Grief, Protest, Discipleship, Kingdom of God, Neuroscience

Legacy, Therapy, Vulnerability

Loyal Love with Brooks Nesse | POD 066

Introduction:

In this episode of theFormed.life, hosts Jacob Nannie and Jonathan Neef welcome guest 

Brooks Nesse to explore the Book of Ruth. Together, they highlight Ruth’s role in Scripture, the theme of hesed (steadfast love), and how God’s character is shown through the everyday actions of Ruth, Boaz, and Naomi. The conversation reflects on faithful love, God’s care for the vulnerable, and how Ruth’s story points to Jesus and shapes our lives today.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. The Transformative Power of Hesed in Ordinary Life:

The Book of Ruth showcases hesed—steadfast, sacrificial love—through the ordinary, generous actions of Ruth, Boaz, and Naomi, reflecting God’s own character.

2. Ruth as a Model of God’s Care for the Vulnerable:

Ruth highlights God’s heart for the vulnerable and marginalized, urging us to embody that care for outsiders, widows, and the needy in our communities today.

3. Boaz and Ruth Foreshadow the Generosity of Christ

The story points forward to Jesus, the ultimate expression of hesed, whose self-giving love redeems and fulfills God’s promise for all people.

Resources:

-Ruth resources from the BibleProject
-A Commentary on Judges and Ruth -Robert Chisholm
-Christ Community Bible Study resources

Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Jacob Nannie introduces the focus on the Book of Ruth 

00:02:23 - Brooks Nesse explains how Ruth connects the period of the Judges to the monarchy 

00:05:56 - Brooks Nesse describes how the law (Torah) shapes the action of the story, and how Boaz models fulfilling the law, linking it directly to God’s character and foreshadowing the mission of Christ.

00:13:13 - Brooks Nesse provides a deep dive into the meaning of "Hesed," why it's hard to translate, and how Ruth and Boaz incarnate this quality

00:32:03 - Jonathan Neef and Brooks Nesse discuss how "Hesed" ultimately points forward to Jesus

Keywords

Ruth, Boaz, Naomi, Judges, Torah, Hesed, steadfast love, loyal love, genealogy, King David, vulnerability, widowhood, poverty, immigration, law, Torah follower, Moabite, outsider, Gentile, redemption, kinsman redeemer, incarnation, Genesis, Proverbs 31, Christ, Jesus, Old Testament, New Testament, faithfulness, generosity, marginalized, character of God, community, outreach, everyday faithfulness, self-sacrifice, hope, redemption narrative

Hosts Paul Brandes and Bill Gorman sit down with the ever-insightful Tom Nelson, to explore an inspiring question: What does hope look like on Easter Monday, when the celebrations fade and we step back into our everyday routines?

Nelson shares candid reflections about his new season in life, including his transition from Lead Senior Pastor to Lead Pastor Coach and his ongoing work with Made to Flourish. The discussion dives into Made to Flourish’s incredible impact over the past decade—connecting thousands of pastors and helping churches bridge the gap between faith, work, and everyday life.

There is exciting news about a new global podcast from Tom Nelson in partnership with Premier Plus, designed to bring “Weekly Wisdom for Your Workplace” right to your Monday morning commute. He offers a behind-the-scenes look at what inspired this project, the heart behind it, and how listeners can stay connected to this work.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. Tom’s New Season and Transition:
   Tom Nelson reflected on his transition from lead senior pastor at Christ Community to his current role as Lead Pastoral Coach, where he is focusing on coaching, support, and being a cheerleader for the team. He spoke about feeling lighter, more buoyant, and grateful for the team and the opportunity to support without bearing the weight of primary leadership.
2. Growth and Impact of Made to Flourish:
   The conversation highlighted the national influence and growth of Made to Flourish, a sister organization to Christ Community. Tom Nelson shared impressive updates about their mission to empower pastors and integrate faith, work, and economic wisdom for community flourishing, all springing from Christ Community’s DNA. 
3. Global Launch of the “God’s Work” Podcast:
   Nelson now has a partnership with Premier Plus in the UK, launching a new podcast called "God’s Work: Weekly Wisdom for Your Workplace." This podcast aims to help congregants connect Sunday faith to Monday work, releasing short, weekly episodes starting on Easter Monday. It’s geared for both UK and US audiences, and represents a dynamic new way Tom Nelson is sharing wisdom, story, and encouragement about integrating faith and the rhythms of everyday work.

Resources:

• Made to Flourish: https://www.madetoflourish.org/
• Common Good Magazine: https://commongoodmag.com/
• God's Work: Weekly Wisdom for Your Workplace (Podcast): https://www.premier.plus/podcasts

Timestamps:

00:00 "Tom Nelson's New Season"

05:16 "Empowering Pastors for Community Flourishing"

07:49 "Giving Through the Local Church"

10:03 "Partnership Established with Made to Flourish"

13:37 "Family, Friendship, and Quiet Joy"

Campus pastors Jacob Nannie and Bill Gorman are joined by Darrell Bock, a New Testament scholar and Senior Research Professor at Dallas Theological Seminary. The interaction centers on the historicity of the resurrection, exploring why it's not just a symbolic or spiritual event, but a pivotal moment in history that underpins the Christian faith.

Some of the toughest objections to the gospel accounts are tackled during this conversation, considering whether the writers are simply too biased, or if the resurrection is just a legend or myth that developed over time. Bock focuses on the reliability of the gospel narratives, surprising details that make them stand out from other ancient texts, and the unexpected role of women. Also addressed are alternative explanations for the disciples’ transformation, from wish fulfillment to hallucinations.

The discussion concludes that the reality of the resurrection isn't just ancient history—it radically shapes how we live, infusing hope, courage, and purpose into the Christian life. If you're wrestling with doubts or seeking a deeper understanding of why the resurrection matters, this episode brings both scholarly insight and practical application to one of Christianity’s central claims.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. 
   The Resurrection as a Historical Event
   The episode emphasizes that the resurrection of Jesus is a real, historical event. Dr. Darrell Bock explains why treating the resurrection as history is crucial to the Christian faith: grounded in eyewitness testimony that led to rapid changes in belief among Jesus' followers.
2. Transformation of the Disciples and Early Witnesses
   A radical transformation was experienced by the disciples and other early witnesses who were not predisposed to believe in the resurrection. Rather, they were skeptical, in mourning, and afraid. The episode addresses alternative explanations and considers the best explanation.
3. The Importance and Impact of Resurrection Today
   The resurrection is described as a "game changer" for personal faith and daily life, shaping hope, perseverance, work, and confidence for Christians today, anchoring the meaning and purpose of life and work.

Timestamps:

1. 00:00:00 — Dr. Darrell Bock describes the resurrection as a "game changer on steroids," setting the tone for the episode's significance.

   00:03:21 — Dr. Darrell Bock explains the profound transformation of the disciples from despair to conviction, emphasizing the historical impact of the resurrection.

   00:04:05 — Dr. Darrell Bock addresses the issue of bias in the Gospel accounts, focusing on how the witnesses were not inclined to believe in the resurrection initially.

   00:07:10 — Dr. Darrell Bock clarifies the genre of the Gospels as ancient biography (bios), distinguishing it from myth and highlighting its historical reliability.

   00:08:17 — Dr. Darrell Bock discusses how the first witnesses of the resurrection were women, a detail culturally unexpected and compelling for the historicity argument.

   00:10:23 — Dr. Darrell Bock recounts how the leaders dismissed the women's report of the resurrection as a fable, revealing the skepticism among early believers.

   00:12:01 — Dr. Darrell Bock wishes he had a recording of Jesus revealing the Scriptures to the disciples on the road to Emmaus, showing the deep impact of that encounter.

   00:14:03 — Jacob Nanney highlights transformation as a unifying theme in the resurrection accounts, from fear to bold witness.

   00:16:42 — Dr. Darrell Bock explains the "mutation" in Jewish belief regarding the timing of resurrection, emphasizing the historical anomaly and its implications.

   00:21:14 — Dr. Darrell Bock shares how the resurrection gives hope beyond suffering and endurance in life, touching on its personal and transformative significance.

In this episode, Jesse and Leah Roberts, the creative duo behind Poor Bishop Hooper, share with Pastor Paul Brandes their journey as artists, songwriters, and founders of a nonprofit ministry dedicated to Scripture-based music. They candidly discuss their calling, how their ministry evolved step-by-step, and give insights into their projects like Golgotha and Every Psalm.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. 
   Faithfulness in Small Steps Leads to Impactful Ministry:

Jesse and Leah emphasize that their journey as musicians and ministry leaders was not the result of a grand, predetermined plan, but rather a series of faithful steps. By being obedient to God’s leading one step at a time, their work grew organically—from local church worship to founding a nonprofit, creating widely-used resources like Golgotha, and serving diverse communities, including prisons.

1. 
   Truth and Beauty Powerfully Transcend Contexts:

The experience of bringing the Golgotha project into prisons was transformative, both for the artists and the inmates. Leah shared how presenting something rooted in both truth and beauty had a profound gospel impact in places marked by pain and deprivation, proving that spiritual art remains powerful regardless of environment—whether in a cathedral or a maximum security prison.

1. 
   Christ Meets Us in Our Suffering and Darkness:

Drawing from their time immersed in the story of Christ’s suffering (through Golgotha) and their own personal hardships, Jesse and Leah encourage listeners that Jesus deeply understands our darkest, “Holy Saturday” seasons. The incarnation and crucifixion mean that Christ has entered into human suffering, providing comfort and solidarity for anyone experiencing pain, uncertainty, or waiting.

Resources:

Poor Bishop Hooper (Band/Ministry): https://www.poorbishophooper.com 

Golgotha Project: https://www.poorbishophooper.com/golgotha 

Every Psalm Project: https://www.poorbishophooper.com/everypsalm

 Author William Quayle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Alfred_Quayle

Timestamps:

00:18  – Bill Gorman introduces the theme of following God in seasons of darkness and grief, previewing the depth of the episode.

02:49 – Paul Brandes asks Leah and Jesse to share how their calling as artists and creators developed, setting the stage for their story.

03:32 – Leah describes seeking God’s guidance after college, revealing her sense of vocation and trust in God’s provision.

06:13 – The origin story of Golgotha: how a pastor’s request and a 3-day retreat turned into writing all 14 songs for a Stations of the Cross musical experience.

08:18 – Jesse      describes how Golgotha began spreading to different churches and communities, moving beyond its initial setting.

11:04 – Leah shares the pivotal moment when they decided to formalize their ministry as a nonprofit, focusing on underserved and unreached communities.

14:01 – Discussion about the heavy, contemplative nature of Golgotha and its focus on the “minor key” of Jesus’s suffering during Holy Week.

18:00 – The first time Golgotha was brought into a maximum-security prison, describing a powerful and unexpected response from inmates.

22:06 – Leah recounts how inmates donated to their ministry, powerfully illustrating the unity and generosity within the body of Christ.

27:26 – The hosts discuss being with God in “Holy Saturday” moments—suffering, waiting, and not yet seeing resurrection—and Leah shares a personal journey through family suffering and the presence of Christ in it.

Hosts Bill Gorman and Paul Brandes are joined by special guest Jeremy Mann, founder and head of The Field School, a diverse classical Christian school on the west side of Chicago. Together, they dive into what it means to cultivate wisdom and virtue in the next generation—not just through academics, but by shaping the whole person.

Jeremy Mann shares his journey from public school teacher to leader of a unique educational community that reserves half its seats for low-income families, embracing a mission shaped by faith and holistic classical learning. Drawing inspiration from Scripture—especially the Shema from Deuteronomy 6—the conversation explores how families, educators, and communities can weave meaningful spiritual practices into daily routines, both at school and at home.

Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, or simply passionate about passing on virtue to the future, this inspiring episode offers practical ideas, ancient wisdom, and encouragement for anyone seeking to nurture children in today’s world. Get ready for a dialogue about education, faith, and intentional living—right here on theFormed.life.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. Classical Education Is About Forming Wisdom and Virtue, Not Just Knowledge.
   Jeremy Mann explains that the mission of the Field School is to cultivate wisdom and virtue in every child. This goes beyond just academic achievement or standardized test scores. Classical education is about developing the whole person, focusing on character, critical thinking, mastery of the fundamentals, and an enduring love of learning and curiosity.
2. Educational Models Are Important, But Parents Remain the Primary Disciplers.
   The conversation made it clear that, regardless of whether kids are in public, private, classical, or homeschool settings, parents have a unique and irreplaceable role in shaping their children’s hearts and minds. Spiritual formation and character development happen best at home in daily rhythms, not just through institutional programs; when families are intentional about weaving biblical truth and spiritual practices into everyday life.
3. The Biblical Vision of Education Is Holistic and Community-Oriented.
   Grounded in Deuteronomy 6, the discussion revolves around the idea of loving God with all our heart, soul, and strength—and passing that faith on to the next generation. Jeremy Mann shares practical examples from both the Field School and his own family: daily Scripture reading, memorization, prayer, music, and habits that create a shared, spiritual culture. The episode encourages listeners to build similar rhythms, with kids or in their own lives, and to see education as a community endeavor, not just the work of schools.

Resources:

• Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass: https://a.co/d/07KUyIQL
• A Philosophy of Education by Charlotte Mason: https://www.livingbookpress.com/product/a-philosophy-of-education/?srsltid=AfmBOoqx0zOQAB0bsGErnc8GhtQkqOeUuCKj0ZcNKXQLfQCbqxoHhmGt
• New City Catechism – Timothy Keller: https://a.co/d/09C5NmGv
• Apostles’ Creed – Historic Christian Creed
• Athanasian Creed – Historic Christian Creed
• A Student’s Prayer by St. Thomas Aquinas: https://mycatholicprayers.com/prayers/a-students-prayer-by-st-thomas-aquinas/

Timestamps:

00:00 Classical Education for All

04:14 "High Expectations, High Support"

07:59 "Classical Education: Old School Revival"

13:29 "Parent-Led Education and Choices"

15:59 Cultivating Wisdom Through Scripture

20:19 Holistic Faith in School Life

23:02 "Faith Lived Through Rhythms"

27:54 Faith through Community and Music

30:41 Family Bonding Over Simple Meals

33:08 Cabin Dreams & Entrepreneurial Passion

35:03 "Field School Insights Shared"

Hosts Bill Gorman and Paul Brandes are joined by author, coach, and consultant J.R. Briggs for a thought-provoking conversation on the art of crafting questions. Drawing from his new book and years of research, Briggs helps us explore the life-giving power of questions—not just as a way to learn, but as a path to deeper connection with God, greater self-understanding, and more authentic relationships with others.

Briggs shares personal stories of his father modeling curiosity and the impact it had on his own spiritual journey, and considers the hundreds of questions Jesus asked as relayed in the gospels. The author invites us to see questioning as central to faith, including a fascinating Jewish tradition in which questions about Scripture take precedence over finding answers. Whether you're a church leader, a parent, or simply someone seeking to better love your neighbor, this episode will encourage you to embrace curiosity and thoughtful inquiry as a vital spiritual practice.

Stay tuned for practical tips on building your own “back pocket” questions, and insights into the possibility that better questions can foster genuine hospitality and relational connection in today’s world.

3 Main Takeaways:

1. The Transformative Power of Questions
   Asking good questions—of God, ourselves, and others—has a profound impact on the quality of our lives. Briggs suggests that questions are not just tools for gathering information, but actually transformative, helping us to reflect, connect, and grow. He traces the influence of his father’s question-asking, and points to Jesus as a continual question-asker.
2. Questions Foster Relationships and Hospitality
   Especially when asked with the right motive and at the right time, questions can be an act of hospitality and love.They create space for relational intimacy, make people feel seen and valued, and can be healing in a world marked by loneliness and division. Briggs underscores that questions are often a greater gift than answers, and essential for loving our neighbors well.
3. We Learn Best in Community and Through Wrestling with Scripture
   The Jewish practice of “havruta” (studying Scripture through questions in a communal setting) is introduced, showing how generating questions together deepens engagement and learning. Wrestling with passages through curiosity rather than rushing to answers can unlock new perspectives and foster spiritual growth.

Resources:

• The Art of Better Questions - J.R. Briggs: https://a.co/d/0bcUwPQQ
• Together - Vivek Murthy: https://a.co/d/0dhyHKhe
• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Peter Scazzero: https://a.co/d/02A89zeE
• Havruta (Jewish Practice of Communal Question Asking)
• The Sabbath - Abraham Joshua Heschel: https://a.co/d/0iAPfIXy
• God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism - Abraham Joshua Heschel: https://a.co/d/07VTnR3J

Timestamps:

00:00 "The Power of Better Questions"

03:23 "The Gift of Asking Questions"

07:47 "God: The Ultimate Question Asker"

11:02 "Havruta: Learning Through Questions"

13:47 "Fascinating Questions on Isaac"

18:16 "Who Do You Say I Am?"

20:36 "Equipping for Monday Mission"

23:01 "The Power of Good Questions"

27:10 Spiritual and Emotional Maturity Journey

32:28 "Questions That Spark Deep Insight

33:35 "Deep Questions for Connection"

36:57 "Window Washing"