so lately I've thought up a lot of probably 30 to 40 typed pages of much of it single spaced and they're just disjointed thoughts and ideas and insights and possibly new memes and I've been making videos on this stuff and in the last week I haven't had as much time to do that cuz i started a new job so i have a lot of to get through and i'll try my best and I don't know how coherent it will be but the point of making these videos is not as much to be coherent in a linear fashion as to just put a voice to some of the thoughts and ideas that I've had in the insights to just yeah to just put a voice to them really and they're not really intended to be anything that is necessarily true they're just sort of my own little hypotheses oftentimes when I'm getting ready for work or getting ready in the morning that's when I have a lot of insights come to me so I write them down and then after I write them down I type them up and now I'm going to translate that into video because I'm finding a lot more fun to just make videos then type up an article or something because articles usually assume that it's going to be somewhat linear and if I'm just going to have a conversation with myself I can just say whatever I want and it doesn't have to be logical or linear it just is what it is another reason I do this is because I can't remember so if I type up a paragraph and I intend it to be in some long blog post I won't remember that I typed at that particular paragraph so I won't know to put in the next logical step of that and then if I want to know how to do that I need to go and then reread what I just wrote in order to do that and so n debris reading and rereading and rereading and whereas if I just look at an idea and decide to talk about it I don't have to I'm not going to come back to that idea it's just done usually it takes a bit to get on a roll with this video making stuff my first idea that i have written down is around designing one's altruism and i believe i've talked about this before and how in mania a person often times at least for a period of time becomes very giving and altruistic and trying to put out fires wherever they go to me if a person is able to design altruism into their life it might be in alignment with the mania and something that the manic energy is trying to create which has more altruistic people at least for part of it that is actually being put into daily reality instead of just manic reality and I think that energy that's trying to create us as more altruistic worldcentric beings would be very happy about that and part of that is just thinking about what was your cause when you were in mania was there a certain thing that really fired you up and that could be something that you're actually really passionate about but in your daily monotonous life it's not something that you're concerned about but all of a sudden when this passionate energy comes in then that part of us is ignited so I had a sense of being passionate about homelessness and and that's the part two is that there's a lot of talk about this process of mania feeling like a spiritual experience now I could get attached to my spiritual experience or i could put myself in a position in life in daily life where I'm actually doing something about homelessness and in that way I'm taking what I learned from my spiritual experience and making it practical or making it a daily thing making it a reality instead of just this feeling that I had and that's a little bit of a theory I don't know if it's true if actually putting some of the elements that came to a person in that other state into practice in daily life if that actually helps or not I at some point would like to put that a lot more into practice in my own life I also feel that there'll be a time when we go from perhaps identifying as psychiatric survivors to thrivers to magic thrivers and at some point when we really become in touch with our magic we won't really feel the need to apologize for it and and beg for acceptance will be like wood what do you mean we're just fine like we don't need to be accepted by that other paradigm that can't see that other world or that other way of being they can't see it and in that way to it's like well how can you blame someone if they can't see it you can't blame someone if they're blind so I think at some point we'll just move on from really like begging for acceptance but that also goes along with being able to co-create a new reality and create a world where we have a role in a place in it and not being transformed into chronic mental patients when really were meant to transform into our best self and so it's difficult there right because even if we are able to step into our best self often the gifts that we have as our best self there's not really that much of a place for it there's no market for it in the reality where everything is based on marketing and what is there a market for so that actually goes with creating new context a new language that people actually start to speak slightly differently so they're actually seeing slightly differently based on what they're talking about I've already talked about harvesting one's mania which is just in retrospect looking back and figuring out one's best self traits and maybe practice that practicing them in daily life and not practicing them as in like trying to get into a programmed robotic way of being that way it's almost more a practice of noticing when we're not those ways that we would like to be and then as soon as we notice we're being a way that we don't choose we don't want to be then all of a sudden we are the way we want to be so just observing oneself which isn't really a practice it's a moment to moment thing without an accumulation so harvesting one's mania and I've also talked about how mania is like a vision casting state it's a state where so much information and we learned so much about ourselves it's like we can we can harvest and and get some sort of vision out of that for our life so Mania is a vision casting state but after the fact it's sort of like a vision recall going back to recall the vision of our cell that we were and what we wanted and what we were here to do and what we wanted to get involved in it's all there in that state some people spend their whole life looking for it and that state comes along and gives us a lot of the puzzle but we forget to go back and actually harvest it because we're told that we're ill and there's no value in the experience whatsoever it's just an illness it's just a hallucination it's just a delusion I don't buy that maybe there's incongruencies with reality but it's still an information-gathering state and I elaborate on this in other videos and another thought I had was that these new behaviors and these new gestures and these new mannerisms and these new ways of being that come about in mania if one is able to embody those in daily life does that have some sort of epigenetic effect on genetic expression and does a change our hormone levels and our neurotransmitter levels by actually being a different way and moving about reality in a different way by enacting a different pattern by being a different pattern and the sri patterning the entire reality with each move that we make so i decided that some synonyms of mania our energy flow creativity learning play they're synonyms in that those are a lot of the different characteristics of the state at different times that exits an extra energy state it's a very playful state and playfulness and play is actually how we learn and so it's a learning state and it's also a flow state because one isn't adjusting based on pre-programmed ego thought patterns I once read an article about ubermensch and from my understanding an ubermensch was something to do with funnelling all the wealth of the world from the populate from the people that have most of it and giving it back to the people so I actually feel like it's possible that our visionary experiences if we were to co-create together based on our visions we'd actually be creating an ubermensch to to redistribute the world's wealth and I don't even know if that would be like actually monetary wealth but I think there's a different kind of wealth that we could come in touch with that we realize we actually have already and then it's game over for the monetary system somehow I'm not sure exactly I also had the thought about the hundredth manic syndrome so there's the hundredth monkey syndrome where all of a sudden once a hundred monkeys know how to do something then all the monkeys know how to do it and that way i think that the spontaneous social behaviors that arise in mania there could be a certain number of people that if they're able to embody their mania and and live in that world while in this world we would actually change the fabric of this majority reality towards the wonderful new world that were we're trying to bring into existence so the hundredth manic syndrome i like to call mania and psychosis map because to me it's a spectrum and it's also like a land of mapmaking of making new internal mental models and it's a process that it's like this inner mapping it's like changing our brain maps because of all the different thoughts and feelings and experiences and sensations and perceptions we're having it's like this realm or we don't know what we're feeling or sensing or where it's coming from or what this information means and we're trying to make sense of it and to me this map is an evolutionary process it's trying to get us to evolve in some way and I also feel that this map is an accelerated learning process and an accelerated growth process and to me map is trying to give us back to ourselves it's trying to transform us back to our original state i also have a theory or a thought or hypothesis about the that there are three types of people there's the dopamine dominant people that are in the pleasure trap of reaction to pain and pleasure and then there's the oxytocin people who are oxytocin dominant who are more about social bonding and love and unconditional love and then there are the tryptamine people which tryptamine has to do with the pineal gland and who knows where those people are but most people are dopamine dominant people and I haven't really thought about this little hypothesis yet but basically most people are running on their own little pleasure thought addiction cycles and it's a pretty limited realm now we've all heard about something called a thought disorder and I'm on J Krishnamurti side when he talks about how thought is disorder it's not about thought disorder all this stuff about trying to put new thoughts into our brain better thoughts trying to put new thoughts into one's brain has a little bit of value but it's still it's still limited and when mania and psychosis process starts or this crisis or this transformation process starts it's like an unlimited State it's full of new thoughts and thoughts that don't feel like they're coming from oneself or thoughts that feel like they're coming from way back or that's one for that one hat it's like it's like a scramble of the thought process it makes one realize that you know we're not necessarily in control of these thoughts and even the thoughts that we normally have that we think we're in control of and where the author of their just sort of playing on repeat and when this process comes in and breaks it all up we lose sense of ourselves because we think we are these thoughts and then there's a lot of different modalities designed to get us to have our thoughts back into some semblance of order but we never question the thoughts themselves we never questioned whether there's something beyond thought and that's what J Krishnamurti does is he inquires into thought itself thought is disordered thought has to do with dopamine to do with pleasure and pain so person will have a thought that's pleasurable and think wow that was that feels nice and warm and fuzzy then has a thought that's painful and feel that I'll I don't want that so we just keep adjusting and choosing trying to choose the thoughts that are a bit better to pacify us and if we can't do that then we go and ingest some kind of pleasurable food or pleasurable something or pleasurable TV and then we feel pacified and I have a thought that when we exist in this pleasure pain world of dopamine we actually deplete our energy and our nutrients and our vitamins and our vitality and I feel there's actually epigenetic changes towards tunnel vision which is just seeing ones small reality tunnel which are the thoughts and feelings of one's own personal pleasure pain dopamine reward complex one can't see beyond that and that's like the egos version of seeing when really we're just seeing our own little desires and fears and nothing more and this is the same with the stress molecules in the body it depletes our vitality to be always under stressed we're not meant to be under stressed all the time in terms of re languaging I would like to see the word intervention change to interaction nobody wants to be intervened with and that just sounds violent I read a book II cubed and there was a quote in there that said I pray for the perception that will allow me to see bigger and sweeter reality and to me that extra energy is definitely that perception there's a perceiver that's always perceiving behind the ego and that's real seeing I watched a google talk by dr. Daniel Siegel and he said something very interesting at the end he said the mind uses the brain to create itself and that's really interesting so if we could think of reality as being some kind of universal mind but it's not actually created in our daily reality it's using our brains to try to create that mind which is actuality it's it's what's really there and so this extra energy of mania and psychosis comes in to try to get us to work towards creating that actual reality not the one we've created as programmable human beings but the one that we would create if we were just in our natural state in coherence with universal principles of how we're supposed to operate I also feel like this other state is like trying to learn how to read reality we we often learn by reading books or taking courses but we can actually learn by just observing reality and nature so a lot of us are undertaking personal growth when this extra energy of mania and psychosis comes in it actually shows that we need to grow worldcentric Li not just as individual egos trying to achieve individual success not everybody's doing that but a lot of people are and it's actually not in alignment with the way we need to move towards and we need to move towards that it's our natural way and it's really necessary if the planet is going to survive

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