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There is No Try
In this episode: Find Ryan O’Connell at How-to-ADU.com or Facebook
Music: Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
What does it mean to try?
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Do you agree with it? What does Yoda even mean?
M-W.com defines “try” as “to make an attempt” but some people emphasize the “make” while some people emphasize the “attempt.” Most of us actually use it both ways.
From the time I was a child well into my 30s, I always expected to succeed on my first attempt. If I failed I wasn't good at it, and therefore I shouldn't do it. I should just leave those things to the people who are naturally good at it.
“There is no try” doesn't mean do effortlessly or don't bother. It means commit to what you are doing and do not hedge your bets. It means focused action. Do and then keep doing. And it means having faith in yourself and what you can do. Knowing the unknowable when it comes to your own abilities.
Focused action: There are only two options: you can do or do not. If you do, you might fail a lot. You just take that to mean that you haven't done it yet.
You can also “do not” and still have success by being good at things “without trying”. I stopped putting effort even into things that came easily to me because “a smart person wouldn't have to try” and when being smart is 90% of your identity…? When I failed, I could always say, “Well, that's OK, 'cause I didn't really try.”
What can we do about it?
Commit to something you’re not good at. Committing to fail isn’t good enough because you’ll half-ass failing and pretend that counts. Take repeated focused action and commit to a goal that's meaningful and terrifying . You will probably fail along the way. And it will hurt! That means you’re going the right way! This momentary failure IS NOT overall failure. Let it hurt and then keep doing. And believe in yourself. Whether you have any reason to or not.
Thank you to Ryan O'Connell, who finally sat me down and made me watch the original trilogy. I hope you enjoy this late April Fools Day present! For anyone in California that's looking to make some money and also help with the housing crisis, check him out at How-to-ADU
Join me in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted to talk about Adulting.
About the podcast:
If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. I talk about gifted kid burnout, and the damage it causes: battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. I will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. I will also offer suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. Ex-Gifted: making exceptional children into functional adults.
Find a new episode of Ex-Gifted every other Friday at Exgifted.com or
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By Raine
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11 ratings
In this episode: Find Ryan O’Connell at How-to-ADU.com or Facebook
Music: Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
What does it mean to try?
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Do you agree with it? What does Yoda even mean?
M-W.com defines “try” as “to make an attempt” but some people emphasize the “make” while some people emphasize the “attempt.” Most of us actually use it both ways.
From the time I was a child well into my 30s, I always expected to succeed on my first attempt. If I failed I wasn't good at it, and therefore I shouldn't do it. I should just leave those things to the people who are naturally good at it.
“There is no try” doesn't mean do effortlessly or don't bother. It means commit to what you are doing and do not hedge your bets. It means focused action. Do and then keep doing. And it means having faith in yourself and what you can do. Knowing the unknowable when it comes to your own abilities.
Focused action: There are only two options: you can do or do not. If you do, you might fail a lot. You just take that to mean that you haven't done it yet.
You can also “do not” and still have success by being good at things “without trying”. I stopped putting effort even into things that came easily to me because “a smart person wouldn't have to try” and when being smart is 90% of your identity…? When I failed, I could always say, “Well, that's OK, 'cause I didn't really try.”
What can we do about it?
Commit to something you’re not good at. Committing to fail isn’t good enough because you’ll half-ass failing and pretend that counts. Take repeated focused action and commit to a goal that's meaningful and terrifying . You will probably fail along the way. And it will hurt! That means you’re going the right way! This momentary failure IS NOT overall failure. Let it hurt and then keep doing. And believe in yourself. Whether you have any reason to or not.
Thank you to Ryan O'Connell, who finally sat me down and made me watch the original trilogy. I hope you enjoy this late April Fools Day present! For anyone in California that's looking to make some money and also help with the housing crisis, check him out at How-to-ADU
Join me in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted to talk about Adulting.
About the podcast:
If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. I talk about gifted kid burnout, and the damage it causes: battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. I will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. I will also offer suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. Ex-Gifted: making exceptional children into functional adults.
Find a new episode of Ex-Gifted every other Friday at Exgifted.com or