“One of the most surprising things I’ve noticed during my experiments in productive disagreement is how quickly things go off the rails precisely when people stop speaking from their own perspective and try to speculate about other people’s perspectives.”

There are some interesting takeaways from this research. It seems a large part of disagreements are the formed assumptions we have of other people’s thinking. We seek certainty, so we seek to categorize, so we can evaluate and ultimately, judge. And we judge the “other” as wrong, and, therefore, especially when it comes to trying to get things done, as our adversary. Partly, this is why empathy is so important, and that only comes from lots of listening and in relationship.

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