Our brains are naturally wired to notice negative experiences more than positive ones. This “negativity bias” helped our ancestors survive by staying alert to threats, but in modern life, it often leaves us stuck in cycles of worry and self-doubt.

The good news? Your brain is also wired for neuroplasticity, which means it can change and adapt based on what you focus on. By deliberately paying attention to positive experiences, you:

* Strengthen neural pathways that support optimism and resilience.

* Shift your internal narrative to one of worthiness and abundance.

* Interrupt the looping cycles of self-doubt and negativity.

The Role of Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most effective tools for shifting your focus. When you reflect on what you’re grateful for, you

* Reframe your perspective, even in challenging times.

* Train your Reticular Activating System (RAS) to filter for positive experiences instead of negative ones.

* Build a habit of noticing and appreciating the good in yourself and your life.

You don’t need grand, life-changing events to practice gratitude. Small wins, kind gestures, or moments of peace are just as valuable.

* A friend who checked in on you.

* Completing a small task you’ve been putting off.

* Watching a beautiful sunset.

Reflection Exercises

Let’s practice shifting focus by reflecting on positive experiences through daily gratitude journaling.

Step 1: Start Your Gratitude Journal

Set aside 5–10 minutes at the end of each day to reflect and write. Answer the following:

* What are three things you’re grateful for today?(Examples: A supportive friend, a delicious meal, or a productive meeting.)

* What is one thing you accomplished today, no matter how small?(Example: “I took a walk to clear my mind.”)

Step 2: Reframe Challenges

If something went wrong today, try reframing it with a gratitude perspective:

* What did you learn from the situation?

* Was there a silver lining, however small?

Step 3: Notice Patterns Over Time

After a week, review your gratitude entries and reflect on:

* Are there recurring themes or sources of joy in your life?(Examples: Acts of kindness, moments of peace, personal growth.)

* How has this practice affected your mood or mindset?

Step 4: Commit to Continuing

Write down one intention for the week ahead to continue shifting your focus.

* “I will pause to appreciate small wins throughout my day.”

* “I will express gratitude to someone who has supported me.”

Focusing on the positive isn’t about ignoring challenges—it’s about choosing to see your strengths, progress, and worthiness despite them. Gratitude journaling is a simple yet powerful way to train your brain to notice the good, disrupt cycles of self-doubt, and build a foundation of self-worth.

The Reticular Activating System, or RAS, is a bundle of nerves at the base of your brainstem that acts as your brain’s filter. With thousands of pieces of information competing for your attention every second, the RAS decides what to focus on and what to ignore. It does this based on your consistent thoughts, beliefs, and priorities.Imagine you’re car shopping. The moment you decide on a specific make and model, you suddenly start noticing that car everywhere. That’s your RAS filtering your environment to prioritize what’s important to you.

You're not alone in wanting to rewrite the stories you tell yourself. Which of these resonates with you most?

Whichever option you choose, know this: so many people share these struggles, and transformation is possible. Together, we’ll explore how to take control of your thoughts and create a mindset that empowers you.

How the RAS Reinforces Beliefs

The RAS doesn’t distinguish between helpful and harmful thoughts—it filters based on repetition and emotional intensity. Here’s how the cycle works:

* Thought: A belief like “I’m not good enough” pops into your mind.

* Filtering: Your RAS looks for evidence to confirm this belief, like recalling a past failure or ignoring a recent success.

* Reinforcement: Each time your RAS finds “proof,” the belief feels more real, strengthening the cycle.

Over time, this process becomes automatic, embedding unhelpful beliefs deeply into your subconscious. But the RAS is programmable, which means you can teach it to focus on empowering beliefs instead.

The good news is that you can interrupt this cycle by deliberately shifting your focus. By introducing new, positive beliefs and practicing them consistently, you retrain your RAS to filter for evidence that supports your worthiness.

Example of Reframing:

* Old Thought: “I always mess up.”

* Reframe: “I’m learning and growing, and mistakes are part of progress.”

* Over time, your RAS will begin to highlight moments where you succeed or handle challenges well, reinforcing the new belief.

Reflection ExercisesThis is meant to help you uncover recurring thoughts that perpetuate unworthiness and begin recognizing those patterns.

Step 1: Identifying Recurring Thoughts

Take 5–10 minutes to reflect and answer the following:

* What are the most common negative thoughts you have about yourself?(e.g., “I’m not smart enough,” “I don’t deserve happiness,” “I’ll never succeed.”)

* Where do these thoughts show up most often?(e.g., work, relationships, personal goals.)

* Do you notice any patterns in these thoughts?(e.g., They’re tied to certain situations, people, or past experiences.)

Step 2: Exploring the Origin

Write a few sentences about where you think these thoughts came from. Ask yourself:

* Did someone say something to you that made you believe this?

* Was there a specific moment or event that triggered this belief?

* How has this thought impacted your actions or decisions over time?

Step 3: Gaining Awareness

For the next 24 hours, carry a small notebook or use your phone’s notes app to track when these negative thoughts arise.

* Write down the thought, the situation, and how it made you feel.

* Example:Thought: “I’m not smart enough.”Situation: During a work meeting where I didn’t know the answer to a question.Feeling: Embarrassed and small.

Step 4: Reframe One Thought

Choose one recurring thought and rewrite it as a positive, empowering belief.

* Example:

* Old Thought: “I’m always messing up.”

* New Thought: “I’m learning, and every step forward matters.”

Repeat this new thought to yourself whenever the old one appears.

Your RAS is incredibly powerful, but it works on autopilot until you take control. By identifying the thoughts that don’t serve you and practicing new, empowering beliefs, you can retrain your brain to focus on your worthiness and potential.

Unworthiness is Learned, Not Inherent

The feeling of “not being enough” doesn’t come from who we are but from what we’ve experienced. It’s a belief picked up over time, shaped by our interactions with people, society, and our interpretation of events.

* Childhood: The First MirrorOur first experiences of self-worth are often reflections of how caregivers, teachers, and peers treat us.

* Critical environments might teach us that love must be earned.

* Comparisons to others might lead us to feel we’ll never measure up.

* Traumatic events, even unintentional ones, can leave lasting impressions of inadequacy.

Example Thought:“My teacher always compared me to my sibling, saying, ‘Why can’t you be more like them?’ I started believing I wasn’t good enough as I was.”

* Society: The Endless Comparison TrapIn adulthood, society amplifies feelings of unworthiness through unattainable standards of beauty, success, and happiness.

* Social media constantly compares our lives with others’ curated highlights.

* Advertisements often suggest we’re not enough—until we buy a product or service to "fix" ourselves.

Example Thought:“Scrolling through Instagram, I feel like everyone else is thriving while I’m just trying to keep up.”

* Personal Experiences: The Stories We Tell OurselvesFailures or setbacks can reinforce beliefs that we’re not good enough. Over time, these isolated events may become a recurring narrative in our minds.

Example Thought:“After my relationship ended, I thought, ‘I must not be lovable,’ and I started doubting all my relationships.”

When we understand where feelings of unworthiness come from, we can see them for what they are: stories, not facts. This awareness is the first step to rewriting those beliefs.

Reflection Exercises

To help you uncover the origins of your feelings of unworthiness and begin separating those beliefs from their identity.

Step 1: Recalling Early Memories

* Take 5–10 minutes in a quiet space.

* Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and think back to a time when you felt “not enough.”

* What was happening in that moment?

* Who was involved?

* What was said or done that made you feel this way?

Step 2: Journaling Prompt

* In your journal, respond to the following questions:

* What specific event or memory stands out as a time when you first felt unworthy?

* What did you start believing about yourself because of that moment?

* Looking at it now, do you believe that moment truly defines who you are, or was it someone else’s judgment or opinion?

Step 3: Recognizing Patterns

* Review your journal entry. Do you notice any patterns in the way you think or feel about yourself? For example:

* “I always feel like I have to prove my worth.”

* “I often compare myself to others.”

Step 4: Reframe the Experience

* Write this affirmation:“The beliefs I formed about myself are not facts. I have the power to rewrite my story and see myself as worthy of love and belonging.”

* Repeat it to yourself each morning this week.

By reflecting on early memories and the stories we tell ourselves, you’re gaining the power to rewrite your narrative. This exercise is not about reliving pain but about understanding where it began so you can let it go.

Today, we’re diving into something that might feel a little challenging but incredibly freeing: letting go of perfectionism and embracing “good enough.”

If you’ve ever held back because you wanted everything to be “just right,” you know how paralyzing that can feel. But the truth is natural growth, confidence, and fulfillment don’t come from getting it perfect. They come from showing up, trying, and allowing yourself to be a bit messy along the way.

In today’s episode, we’ll explore why perfectionism holds us back more than it helps, and how embracing progress over perfection can open up new doors for creativity, confidence, and self-compassion. You don’t have to have it all figured out to make meaningful progress—you just have to start.

Here’s what we’ll cover in this episode:

* The Trap of Perfectionism – We’ll talk about why we feel the need to be perfect and how that pressure often prevents us from taking action.

* The Freedom of “Good Enough” – Discover why allowing yourself to be imperfect is actually a sign of confidence and growth, not failure.

* The “Good Enough” Challenge – Today, I’ll walk you through a simple action step: choosing one task you’ll allow yourself to do imperfectly. It might feel uncomfortable, but it’s also incredibly freeing to let go of the need to get it right.

Action Step for Today:

Pick one task and give yourself permission to approach it without perfection. Whether it’s a project at work, a creative idea, or just giving yourself a break, allow yourself to experience the power of progress over perfection.

Remember, confidence isn’t about getting it perfect; it’s about showing up, learning, and letting each step forward build your self-trust. Embracing imperfection is a skill, and with practice, you’ll find that “good enough” is more than enough.

Ready to shake things up? In today’s episode, we’re diving into an exercise that goes beyond thinking about creativity—it’s about experiencing it in your body and mind. Sometimes, unlocking creativity is as simple as doing something different, stepping outside your usual patterns, and seeing the world from a fresh perspective.

This episode is designed to help you break out of your routines with exercises that are fun, a little unexpected, and guaranteed to wake up a creative spark.

Here’s what we’ll be trying together:

* The “Opposite Hand” ChallengeFirst, you’ll pick a familiar activity—like brushing your teeth or doodling—and try it with your non-dominant hand. It might feel a bit awkward, but that’s exactly the point. This small shift challenges your mind to engage in new ways, opening up fresh pathways for creativity.

* The “Backwards Movement” ExperimentNext, if you’re able, we’ll walk a few steps backward. Moving in reverse might sound simple, but it requires a new level of awareness, helping you see things from a completely different angle. This exercise is a reminder that creativity often comes from looking at life differently.

* Choosing a Small Creative ShiftTo close, you’ll pick one small thing you’ll do differently today—whether it’s taking a new route, using a different tool, or trying something outside your norm. These little shifts invite new perspectives and remind you that creativity can start with the simplest of changes.

Today’s episode is a reminder that you don’t have to overhaul your life to be more creative; sometimes, creativity is just a small step outside your routine. If you’re ready to see where these little shifts can take you, tune in, try something new, and let’s embrace the weird, the different, and the wonderfully you.

Let’s talk about something that’s been holding so many of us back: the fear of failure. We all have dreams, goals, and ideas that excite us, but when it comes time to take the leap, that little voice creeps in, whispering, “What if I fail? What if it doesn’t work out?”

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re diving into that very fear. Together, we’ll confront the “worst-case scenario” and explore what really holds us back. Here’s the twist: while we often think failure is the worst thing that can happen, there’s something even heavier to carry—the regret of never trying at all.

Imagine looking back on your life and wondering, “What if?” What if you had tried, taken that chance, or put yourself out there? Regret of the unknown can feel far heavier than any failure because failure is temporary, but regret… that lingers.

Here’s what you’ll experience in today’s episode:

* Explore Your Own Fears of Failure. We’ll dive deep into those “worst-case scenarios” we all imagine, helping you see that maybe, just maybe, they aren’t as terrifying as they seem.

* Face the Reality of Regret. What would it mean to live with the fantasy of “what could have been”? We’ll dig into how regret can be more painful than any failure and why it’s worth taking the chance.

* A Journey to Self-Discovery. This episode is designed to be a reflective journey. As you listen, I’ll guide you through a series of questions and scenarios that help you understand what’s really at stake when you choose not to try.

* Find Your Freedom in Trying. By the end of this episode, you’ll see that the true “worst-case scenario” isn’t failure—it’s never giving yourself the chance to grow, learn, and experience life fully.

Here’s Your Challenge for Today:

As you listen, reflect on one thing you’ve been putting off because of fear. By the end of the episode, commit to one small action that brings you closer to facing that fear. Let go of the idea that failure is the worst thing and start embracing the freedom that comes with trying.

Let’s have a serious heart-to-heart. We live in a world where information is at our fingertips. We can learn anything we want, anytime we want. But how often do we actually use this knowledge? How often do we act on what we know? The truth is, many of us don’t—and there’s usually something deeper holding us back.

This week’s episode is all about facing what’s truly keeping us stuck. It’s easy to blame “not enough time” or “waiting for the right moment,” but if we dig deeper, there’s often more going on beneath the surface.

Sometimes, it’s the fear of failure. Sometimes, it’s doubting if we’re really capable. Or maybe we’re simply overwhelmed by the idea of change.

Whatever it is, today, we’re going to confront it head-on.

In this episode, I’ll help you uncover the real reasons behind the inaction. By getting honest with ourselves, we can finally see what’s standing in the way of turning knowledge into real-life transformation. We’ll walk through questions that bring clarity and focus, and then talk about one small but impactful step you can take to break free.

Here’s how to get the most out of this episode:

* Listen with an open heart. Find a quiet space where you can really tune in and give this message your full attention. As you listen, let yourself be open to whatever feelings come up—curiosity, resistance, excitement, or even discomfort. That’s all part of the process.

* Reflect on what’s truly holding you back. As we go through the episode, ask yourself honestly: What’s stopping me from acting on what I know? Is it fear? Is it self-doubt? Is it perfectionism? Take a moment to write down whatever comes up.

* Challenge yourself to take one small action. Once you’ve identified what’s been holding you back, it’s time to take a step. Even a small action can start breaking down those internal barriers. Choose one thing—just one—that you’ll do today to act on your knowledge.

Your Reflection for Today:

Let this week be about discovering and releasing what’s holding you back. Instead of collecting more information, give yourself the gift of insight. Find what’s keeping you stuck, acknowledge it, and decide to move through it, one step at a time. You’ll be amazed at the change that happens when you face yourself honestly.

This Wednesday, I’ve put together a special podcast episode just for you, one that explores your unique self-worth, your trust in yourself, and the incredible power you hold within. This isn’t just another reminder—it’s a call to truly feel, embrace, and live out the truth of who you are.

In this episode, you will connect with these truths and let them settle deeply. You’ll have the chance to sit with reminders of your worth and a few moments to truly acknowledge the one-of-a-kind strength within you. My hope is that you walk away from this feeling more grounded in your sense of self, ready to carry this empowerment forward in your daily life.

Here’s what to do today:

* Find a comfortable space where you can listen without distractions—whether that’s during a quiet walk or while relaxing at home.

* Tune in and absorb the words. Let them wash over you, like a conversation with your own inner strength.

* Reflect deeply on this truth: You are the only you that will ever exist. No one can take your worth, your trust in yourself, or your power from you. Only you hold that key. And when you truly accept who you are, nothing—not even doubt—can take that away.

Your ReflectionAfter listening, take a few minutes to journal. Here are three questions to get you started:

* What’s one thing that stood out to you in the episode?

* What is one truth about yourself you want to believe fully?

* What’s one small action you can take this week to honor that truth?

Here’s a final thought to hold close:

You are whole, you are worthy, and you are powerful, just as you are.

Embracing this truth is the path to standing tall in your unique light. Let that knowledge settle within you and guide you this week.

Your presence, your voice, and your strength are needed in this world.

Thank you for spending this time with me.

Welcome to this reflective exercise, designed to guide you through a series of powerful questions that will help you approach your decisions with greater clarity and intention. Whether you're facing a big life choice or a small daily decision, the questions we’ll explore together will challenge your assumptions, uncover new perspectives, and help you identify the most important outcomes. As you listen, find a quiet space, relax, and give yourself the time to dig deeper into your thoughts. By the end of this session, you’ll have gained fresh insights and the confidence to move forward with your decisions, one thoughtful step at a time. Let’s begin.

Today, we will focus on something simple but incredibly powerful: the art of asking reflective questions. In Monday's Substack, we talked about the importance of critical thinking and how it impacts decision-making. Now, we're diving deeper into how asking the right questions can help unlock new insights and guide you to more thoughtful decisions.

Why is this so important?

Because the quality of the questions you ask directly impacts the quality of your decisions, you must ask better, more reflective questions to challenge your assumptions, explore new perspectives, and ultimately come up with better solutions.

What We're Covering Today

* Why asking questions is crucial to critical thinking.

* How reflective questions can open up new possibilities and help you see beyond your initial thoughts.

* Specific questions you can start using today to make more thoughtful decisions.

By the end of this session, you'll have a set of powerful questions that you can rely on whenever you're faced with a decision. These questions will help you think more clearly and act with more intention.

Let's start with the basics:

Why is asking questions so important for critical thinking?

When facing a decision, jumping to conclusions or sticking with your gut reaction is easy. But asking the right questions forces you to pause, reflect, and dig deeper. Instead of relying on surface-level thinking, you're allowing yourself to consider alternative options, uncover hidden assumptions, and gather more information. Questions help you get clear on what you're really dealing with, so you can make decisions that are aligned with your goals and values.

How do we start using questions to guide our thinking?

Here are a few powerful, reflective questions you can use when you're facing a decision or need to think through a situation more clearly:

* What am I really trying to accomplish? This is a great question to start with. It helps you cut through the noise and focus on what's truly important. What's the core issue you're trying to solve, or the opportunity you're trying to seize?

* What don't I know yet? Often, we make decisions based on limited information. By asking yourself what you don't know, you're acknowledging that there might be gaps in your understanding and that more information could change your perspective.

* What's another way to look at this? This is where you challenge your initial assumptions. Could there be another way to approach this decision? Asking this question opens you up to new possibilities and helps you break free from fixed patterns of thinking.

* What assumptions am I making? We all carry assumptions, whether we realize it or not. By asking this question, you force yourself to examine those assumptions and determine whether they're helping or hurting your decision-making process.

* What are the potential consequences? This is a crucial question for thinking ahead. What are the short-term and long-term outcomes of your decision? By thinking through the consequences, you're able to anticipate challenges and opportunities that might come from each option."

* What's the best-case scenario? What's the worst? This is a balanced question that helps you think realistically. By imagining both extremes, you gain a more complete understanding of what could happen, which allows you to make a more measured choice.

Now that you have these questions, the next step is to start practicing. The next time you're faced with a decision—whether it's something small like choosing how to spend your time, or something bigger like making a career or relationship decision—pause and ask yourself these questions.

Take a moment to write down your answers and reflect on how they shape your thinking. You'll likely find that by asking these reflective questions, you'll begin to see things differently and approach decisions with more clarity and confidence.

If you want to go even deeper, try journaling your answers to these questions. Writing things down can help you organize your thoughts, see connections you might have missed, and track how your decision-making evolves over time. This practice will strengthen your critical thinking and give you more confidence in the choices you make.

Remember that the power of reflective questions lies in their ability to open your mind to new possibilities. By asking better questions, you'll unlock deeper insights and make more thoughtful, intentional decisions.

This week, give it a try. Practice asking these questions, and see how it changes the way you approach decisions. And don't forget to listen to the bonus audio guide we've created to help you dive deeper into this exercise.

Thank you for joining me today. I'm excited for you to start applying these tools in your own life.

Keep thinking clearly and asking the right questions!