It is very late night, when these sort of things are typically bound to happen, such as JOHN OLIVER, a TV show host, appearing out of nowhere and into your kitchen, asking

JOHN OLIVER

is it too late for a glass of milk?

Startled, and just having dressed from a long and hot shower, the occupant of the apartment is started.

OH, my God—John Oliver!

As it were.

What are you doing here?

Anticipating a glass of milk—

A tad warm, preferably.

Where are you supposed to be right now?

Wherever I am, which is—erm…

My kitchen.

Very nice kitchen, I might add;

About that milk.

I'm vegan.

Plant based will do.

It's for baking.

—very well. They said you'd be a tough nut to crack.

Who is “they”

Who they are.

He plops down on the couch and puts his feet up on the coffee tables

YO.

I don't speak much Spanish.

But you understood that!

I said I didn't speak much, not that I was devoid entirely of comprehension.

What the fuck!

What the fuck, indeed.

You're so British, I don't even have a reproach—

Harry, Hermione, and Ron enter through a portal.

I WAS GETTING READY FOR BED.

That sounds lovely.

—is it too late for a glass of milk?

Ron!

…Well, is it?

What is it with you people and milk?!

The other Ron, or actually rather, his real world counterpart RUPERT GRINT is already in the fridge.

There's only coconut—

And it's canned.

JOHN OLIVER and RON WEASELY

AUGH.

Harry scrunches his nose and winces a bit, when his real world counterpart exits the washroom.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

Don't make that face— it will get stuck like that.

HARRY POTTER

—it's just an expression.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

No, it isn't; remember more of you is fictional than not!

HARRY POTTER

Says you!

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

Says just about anyone in this dimension, and the next, and the next over— which—

Oh my God.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

by the way, which dimension is this?

My kitchen.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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