In 2019, 72% of same-sex divorces were between lesbians, meaning they divorced at about three times the rate of gay male couples. It’s a statistic that might, at first, seem alarming. But we all know better than that by now. Divorce is no cause for alarm.

So what is happening in queer divorces? What forces of culture and expectations shape those unions? What pulls people apart?

For this episode, I asked Nico Hall to join me to talk about queer divorce. Nico is a divorcee who edited a series on queer divorce for the website Autostraddle. Nico is also a freelance writer and team writer for Autostraddle. They write creative nonfiction and the more straightforward variety, as well as fiction. They are currently at work on a secret long-form project. Nico also says they are haunted, which is perfect for this Halloween episode of the scariest thing that can happen to the patriarchy… women being free!

Nico and I talked about health insurance, gay divorce, and why being queer can’t protect you from the patriarchy.

This season was generously sponsored by Funny Girls, which is a program run by the Harnisch Foundation that uses improv to teach leadership skills to girls and nonbinary kids in grades 3 to 8. You can learn more about its work here. 

Zachary Oren Smith is the producer, and Suzanne Glémot made the art for the show. And thank you to everyone who shared their stories with us.

If you loved this episode, we have a whole first season you can listen to. You can also buy Lyz’s New York Times best-selling book This American Ex-Wife.

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